STUCK AT D STATION.

Had a depressing weekend.

Right from Saturday when Bobo Nice handed me that card...his traditional wedding card , I haven't been able to shake off this feeling....this feeling of being left behind.

Of cos, I smiled and gushed about how happy I was for him but deep down, I felt an ache.

Don't get me wrong, I never wanted to marry him and it's not like am regretting not saying yes to his proposal. NO.

Just that well...i just feel...I don't know how to explain this sad feeling!

To worsen things he told me he was travelling this weekend to attend the wedding of a mutual friend of ours.

It was't just the fact that I wasn't invited to the wedding that saddened me...

It just feels like the train has left me behind.

SANTA, I ONLY WANT ONE THING!

Okay...okay...I know it's not the best comeback post but pls bear with me people. Will be back soon hopefully.

Standards or Limitations??

Hey guys!

What’s good?

Happy new week to you all...

Not much have been going on in my Love life o...

Okay except for my suitor from Holland. Yea the one I spoke about in my last post. The one whose English is not Kosher(like Afrobabe puts it,lol…)

Let's call him Mr.Holland from now on...

He hasn’t relented in calling me and sending text messages despite my unfriendly attitude at times.

My younger sister even called me ‘Harsh’ once when I told him matter-of-factly on the phone:

“I can’t marry you cos you don’t have a University education…”

He wasn’t fazed by my statement anyway and replied:

“But I can always get a University education. In fact I have plans to…”

The guy seems determined sha…

Anyway...

My love horoscope reading today says:

“You’re a true delicacy and if others can't see that, they don't deserve you. So stop selling yourself short. Your rare qualities are a fantastic match for someone who adores you. Hooking up just to hook up is truly a waste of your time right now”

It amazes me how right on point these readings can be at times.

Here I was beginning to think maybe I should take it easy with Mr. Holland and give him a chance after all,

Now this reading don put ‘comma’ inside o…

Now people what do you think this means?

That I shouldn’t lower my standards just because I want to get married?

Talking about standards…

Why do we limit ourselves with these standards sef?

:)
Be back shortly…

The dream, the Vision and the Suitors...

Last night, I got a text from a secondary school friend. She is getting married this weekend and had gotten my number from another friend of ours so she sent me an invite to her wedding.
In the text she had included her wedding website so this morning, I decided to check it out.
Their's was a sweet love story. As I browsed through the website I kept telling God in my heart-“Father this is what I want, this is what I want…”
Their love story inspired me and almost made me believe that someday even I will find love.

Now to the main koko of the my gist today,

A few days back, I got a call from a strange number. It was an international call from Holland.
I picked up. The caller was strange too but he knew my name cos he went:
“Hello, am I speaking to Aphro?”
I replied in the affirmative and he went on to introduce himself.
He was from my town, had gotten my number from my cousin, blab la bla…
I instantly knew what was up.
Someone had been doing some matchmaking!

Fast forward to days later.
I have learnt more about the guy cos he has been calling everyday and we chatted a few times online.
Some stuff i have learnt...
He isn’t bad looking (seen his webcam)
He works in a transport company in Holland.
He seems honest (He told me he works as a transport officer aka Driver. Many guys will not do this. They’d rather form and feed you lies. Trust me, am talking from experience)
But wait for this…
Bobo dey ‘tagbon’ well well for im English o! meaning am not too impressed with his spoken English especially with the fact that I happen to have an excellent grasp of the language.
Na that last one spoil the whole matter.lol…
One thing I appreciate in the opposite sex is a man with eloquence. A man who speaks well. A man whom I wont be too embarrassed to introduce to my friends for fear of him ‘disgracing’ me,lol…
No, he doesn’t have to speak phonetics and all, he just needs to know his tenses and not make statements like-“ I wented to work this morrrin”
LOL….
Okay he is not that bad sha but am not impressed with what I have heard coming from his mouth so far.

However, the kain dream wey I dream last night don put me for ‘Gbagharia’ (Confusion).

In the dream, I was with my parents and some relations and somehow we were talking about a suitor who was asking for my hand in marriage.
I had told them that I wasn’t interested in the man cos he wasn’t my type.
My mum then replied that it was okay. If he wasn’t my type, someone better will come along.
Next thing, someone in the meeting(cant remember which of my aunts it was) shouted:
“Haaaa…don’t say that o. Don’t you know that this is spiritual. She will keep finding faults with everyman that comes her way and in the end, she’ll never marry. Let her stop finding fault and marry this man before it is too late o!”

I woke up at that point and spent sometime thinking about that dream before sleep came again.
Since morning, I have been thinking about this dream. I havnt even been able to properly concentrate on my work all day.

I recalled something a friend once told me when we were in the university.
She was one of the “born again’ ones then in school but we had a good rapport.
One day, she approached me and told me about a dream/vision she had about me.
According to her, in the dream, she had seen me with so many suitors coming around, yet I rejected each one and it was revealed to her that I had a marine husband that was determined that I’d never get married in real life. He was the one who was always making me find one fault or the other in my suitors and even if I love someone, something will come between us to break the relationship.She went further to tell me that I may end up being unmarried if I didn’t go for deliverance and reject the spiritual husband.

Anyway, I did go for deliverance then and rejected the ‘so called’ spiritual husband but that incident had stayed with me ever since.

To be honest, I have had more than my fair share of suitors. More than your average girl.
In fact, I started having suitors since I was 17years.
Many of my cousins and friends always tell me that they are surprised I am still single till date. Everyone thought I’d be married with a brood of kids by now .


I still have some suitors hanging around, begging me to accept them.

There is K who hasn’t given up all these while even after all the shabby treatment I have given him.
There is Bobo Nice who is still hoping against hope.
There is this new guy who seems quite serious.

Now what is my problem?
Why can’t I accept one of them and take the plunge?
What is it I am looking for?
Why do I seem to find faults here and there?

And to worsen matters, the man I finally met and loved decided he didn’t want to be with me.

Na wa…
Am I under a curse?
Do I have a spiritual husband for real?

What do u think guys?
Help a sister out,plzzzzzzzzzz...

Breakfast with B.G and Prayer warriors.

This morning, I hooked up with B.G for breakfast. It had been a while(like 5 months) since we last saw. Yes, he called and sent texts regularly but anytime he tried to initiate a hook up, I always came up with some excuse or the other. I wanted him to understand that we were over and I was with someone else now but it was obvious that was a fact he wasn’t ready to accept.

So why did I finally agree to do breakfast wit him today? I don’t even know myself. Just that I thought, what da heck? It was just breakfast right? But I was wrong. It wasn’t just breakfast for him. He wanted to talk. Talk about us. About why we broke up and how he wanted us to get back together.

He looked good. Better than the last time I saw him. I had to compliment him on his look.

Breakfast was okay and he had a lot to say. He really wants us to get back together. He can’t see himself with any other woman except me. He hasn’t been able to open up to any other woman since I left him. The last time he had sex was with me and so on.

He wanted to know what the issues I had with him were so he could make amends and try to right the things that went wrong. How do I begin to tell a guy that I left him because he wasn’t a sharp dresser or his tee-shirts always had holes in them and his apartment lacked taste? Yea, I know, it sounds shallow abi? The truth is I probably didn’t love him cos if I did those things wouldn’t matter or would they?

Well, after much prodding from him as to why I left him. I had to mention some of the things above like his dress sense, his lack of taste and all. I was surprised at his reaction. He actually agreed with me that those were enough reason for me to have left. He told me that he was already working on himself as I could see(I told you he was well dressed). Then he asked me: “Aphro, if I got a better apartment, improved my dressing and got a new car. Do we still have a chance?” I didn’t say a word but I thought about his question. Would I go back to him? i didn't think so. Why? Because I was in love with someone else, Simple!

I didn’t say that to him though but am sure he understood what my silence meant cos he looked forlorn and disappointed. Then he went on:
“A new car, beautiful apartment, new clothes, all that would not mean anything to me if you are not there to share them with. You are the only woman whose compliment on my appearance matters to me. I want you to be the first woman to sit in my new car, I want to share the new apartment with you and you are the only woman I want to make love with on my new bed”
Na wa o!
This guy serious no be small. If only O can be as serious and in love as this, then I no get problem,lol...

Anyway, we had to cut the breakfast short. I had to get back to the office, same with him too. However we had an understanding. I had no plan of ending my relationship to get back with him and my suggestion was that he should try to open up to other women cos life doesn’t start and end with Aphrodite. He didn’t agree with this though, cos for him, there is nothing to live for without me.

It’s times like this that it hits me hard in the face. LIFE IS NOT FAIR!

On to something else.

A friend visited me last Sunday. She just recently got married. So we were talking about stuff and as usual with young women, the topic drifted to marriage issues. We both agreed that it was important to pray very hard before one takes the plunge into marriage but then she took it a bit further. According to her, it is very good to consult with prayer warriors who will seek the face of God regarding the marriage and tell you whether to go ahead or not. She told me her own experience.
She was supposed to get married about 3 years ago but before going ahead with the marriage plans, her mum went to this woman, a prayer warrior who prayed about it and told them not to go ahead cos he wasn’t her husband. She really liked the guy but decided to heed the woman’s advise. Today the guy is dead and she is very happy she didn’t marry him cos she would have been a widow by now.

I asked if she went to the prayer woman before accepting her current husband’s marriage proposal and she said Yes and that the woman had said she should go ahead, that God was in support.

Then she suggested that I see the woman because of all the guys coming for my hand (B.G, K, Bobo Nice and O) cos the person I want may not be the right one for me.

I don’t know if I should go cos am thinking, what if the woman says its Bobo Nice or K that is my husband and that O is not the man for me? Will I leave O and marry Bobo Nice just cos someone said that was what God said?

I no sure o.

So my friend has arranged for me to meet with this woman tomorrow. She only sees people on Tuesdays and Fridays. I have even got my boss’s permission to miss work tomorrow but am still undecided.
Should I go?
What do u guys think?

I dont see myself kissing him...na reason?

Hmmm…so I have been gone for a while. I am so sorry people. Had to make an emergency work-related trip but am back in Lasgidi now.
Princesa dearest, sorry I couldn’t make it to the SBR as promised. I hope I get to pick up my T-shirt really soon. Saw the pics, they were nice.
Nikki and Oluwadee, the vows have been exchanged now right? Wish you both a happy and blissful married life with the men you love. Very very soon we go join una, all the single babes/guys out there shout a big amen…AMEN!!!!

Ehen...So besides work, what has been happening to Aphrodite? That’s the question right?

Aphrodite has been good. Things with O have been pretty cool. Fineboyagbero sorry to disappoint you bro but it doesn’t look like I will come crying to you about O anytime soon if he keeps things up the way they are right now. He made me a promise to be more dedicated to our relationship. So far he has been trying sha. Giving me attention and all and you all know how much I crave attention,lol…

X is totally out of my life now. I hope.
Doll, bumight, Flo, am sure you are happy to hear this cos you guys have really been on my case to Fashi him totally.
How did I finally get rid of him? Well, I didn’t really do anything o…he kinda got rid of himself by himself,lol…
So the last time I saw him was the day after my birthday.
On my birthday he had sent me a text to wish me happy birthday. He couldn’t even call. He sent me a text! I got tons of text that day even old pals from school that I hadn’t heard from in years sent me a text! So what was the big deal? I didn’t expect just a text from him. I expected that he would have called at least even if he couldn’t send a card, gift or a cake after all he’s been claiming to love me abi?

Truth be told, he had visited me a few days before my birthday and brought up the Ghana trip issue. Remember I told you guys he had suggested taking me to Ghana for my birthday but I declined the offer. Going to Ghana with him would automatically mean that I had accepted him back cos we would have to share a room or something and you know now, something fit happen wey person no plan,lol…

Anyway so that day he came around before my birthday, he brought up the Ghana trip issue again and I declined again. Then he said fine, so how are we going to spend my birthday as in where do I want him to take me to here in Lagos. I was like I didn’t want to go anywhere. I just wanted a quiet birthday. No celebrations, nothing. He kept pressuring and I kept insisting I didn’t want to go anywhere. Finally he gave up.

But even though I had said I wanted a quiet birthday devoid of fanfare and all, does it stop him from sending a gift or cake now my people? That I didn’t want to celebrate didn’t mean I wasn’t going to accept gifts now. Anyway that was how he(X) didn’t even call on my birthday much less send a gift or try to see me. He merely sent a text.

So I still had a grouse with him when he walked into my office a day after my birthday smiling one kain big smile like dat. There was a half-cut cake on my table. Bobo Nice had sent it on my birthday and I had shared part of the cake amongst my colleagues in the office. X opened the cake box and exclaimed: “Hey! Cake…Nice!! So do we get a slice?”
I looked at him. The bobo no dey shame sef, he want chop cake when he no even fit call me wish me happy birthday. No be only cake he go chop, na KAKE! Looking him straight in the eye, I said: “So you want to eat the cake someone else sent? Which one did you bring along while coming abi you didn’t know my birthday was yesterday? Or you didn’t know that they use cake to celebrate birthdays?”
Harsh, I know. But I meant it to be.
The guy just stared at me speechless. He wasn’t expecting that from me.
After some moments, he replied: “But you don’t even know if I brought something for you and it is in the car” I was like “Okay so if it is in the car, go and bring it now…” He didn’t move an inch. I knew he hadn’t brought anything and was just trying to bluff.
Anyway, what I said to him touched him cos even when I offered him the cake, he refused to eat. Wetin be my own? Beg him to eat the cake? I no send anybody o!

He later explained that he felt hurt when I refused his proposal to take me out on my birthday and he assumed that I had plans to spend my birthday with someone else which was why he didn’t bother calling or coming around. He was right sha cos I did spend my birthday with O but then I still don't think that was enough reason for him not to at least call.

He stayed a while in my office and then left and since then I haven’t heard a word from him. He hasn’t called or dropped by. Me thinks he has finally advised himself. Good for him, if that’s the case. Yesterday as I was leaving for home in the evening, I saw him outside his office. I don’t know if he saw me and pretended not to but me I just did like I didn’t see him sha and went on my way.

So that is all on X for now.

On to Bobo Nice.
I told you guys he just got his own apartment abi? So last week he called me and begged that I help him get some stuff, you know house hold stuff and all that. He hasn’t got a girlfriend and couldn’t do it by him self. Being the good friend that I am now, I agreed to help him purchase the stuff so he sent the money across.
Last Saturday morning, I packed all the stuff I had bought down to his place. I was helping him set up his kitchen when his elder brother came in. We had met at the wedding of another brother of his some time back so he recognized me. We exchanged pleasantries and he went into the sitting room.
Later on while I was showing Bobo Nice how to operate some of the kitchen stuff, his brother joined us and was like I shouldn’t bother teaching Bobo Nice how to use the appliances, I should just pack my load and come and take my place in the house. We all laughed about it especially Bobo Nice. I wanted to say something like “No o…its not my place o cos Bobo Nice is not my boyfriend or husband” but I just decided to let things lie. From his comment tho, I could see that he (Bobo Nice’s brother) assumed that we were dating and to even worsen things, Bobo Nice kept calling me Baby in front of him. I didn’t know what he had told his bros about me but I made a mental note to discuss it with him later cos he was obviously giving the wrong impression. On impressions, it also occurred to me that anyone who walked in on us as I was busy arranging and setting up stuff in the house would automatically assume I was Bobo Nice’s girlfriend so maybe I was at fault too. Maybe I shouldnt have accepted to help him but it was too late to regret anyway.

I didn’t get to talk about it with him cos I had to leave in a hurry and he was with his brother. Later on that day, he sent me a text thanking me for the help and everything. In the text message he had also sent a recharge card pin number and asked that I credit my phone with it. It was more like a thank you gift. Also in the text message, he talked about how he would be the happiest man if only I would accept him as a life partner. I sent him a reply thanking him for the credit and I also said that as for marriage, I couldn’t consider it cos my heart is with someone else. His reply came shortly. He was finally accepting defeat but advised that I look well before leaping so I do not make a mistake.
I thanked him for the advise. Bobo Nice is a great guy. I do not doubt for a second that he would make a great husband but it’s just unfortunate that I don’t have feelings for him. Sometimes when we are together, I look at his lips and cannot imagine me kissing them. Don’t get me wrong, he doesn’t have ‘pomo’ lips or anything but I just don’t find them sexy. I love Kissing and I need to find the lips of the man am going to marry attractive, don’t you think so? LOL......

I have this aunt that thinks that am making a mistake by not accepting Bobo Nice as a husband. When she asked me what my reason for not wanting to marry him was and I replied “I don’t find his lips attractive”. She thought I was crazy,lol…according to her, there are important things to consider in marriage and the lips or dentition of guy doesn’t count as one. Her opinion sha. I still think, I need to be physically attracted to my man abeg. Like O for instance now, you won’t beg me to kiss him. I LOVE KISSING HIM!

Okay, so that’s it for Bobo Nice gist.

I have got work to get back to people. I know I have been slacking in visiting blogs, make una no vex, will try to remedy that.
See you around...Love you all plenty plenty!

Unexpected morning visit

Oh my God!
Guys guess who just left my office now.
O!
I was standing at the reception talking with a colleague when he walked in. My heart did a backflip, I swear. You know, it was just so unexpected like he is the last person I expected to see this morning.
I led the way to my office and thankfully, my colleague who I shared office with wasn’t around so we had all the privacy we needed.
Long and short of the tory is that. Bobo has been miserable for the past one week and doesn’t want me to give up on us easily. I told him, I had already given up and was trying to heal. He said he was going to pretend he didn’t hear that. “Trying to heal over what now?” he asked.

Anyway, he is ready to meet my folks and wants me to meet his mum but then again he still wants us to take things a bit slow. In his own words “Let’s us grow together Aphrodite”.
I asked him “O tell me the truth, do you think you are psychologically ready for marriage” and his reply was “Yes I am very ready”.
"I hope I am not pressuring you or anthing. I want my husband to be crazy about marrying me and not feel that that I pressured him into doing so"
"Babes, stop saying that now. I am crazy about you, serious!"

Me I don’t know what to do again o. I’m kinda confused. I am still very much in love with him. In fact lemme confess. He was sitting far from me o, but do you know when he left, I realized my panties were soaking wet. Kai dis my treacherous body!

He has left now. He had an official assignment outside the office and used the opportunity to drop by although he promised to come back as soon as he is through with the assignment.

The last thing he said to me before he left was “Aphrodite, I love you. I really do”.

Jesu!

STATUS REPORT

Woah! It’s been a while o. How una dey? I deliberately avoided blogville these past few days cos a lot has been on my desk and y’all know how distracting this place can be. Once you click, you can’t stop,lol…

I have been well o. Never knew I had so much emotional strength in me. Been holding on, even tho I must admit it’s been very tough for me. I havn’t called O since our last encounter. He called once tho, I think on Saturday morning. He didn’t say anything new anyway. Talked about how he loved me but needs to put certain things in place first(things like getting his place o) before talking about marriage. I told him that I understood very well that he wasn’t psychologically ready for marriage. He said No, that it was more like physically ready not psychologically ready. Anyway after that brief conversation over the phone, he hasn’t called again till now and today is what? Wednesday! He sent a text yesterday evening tho :“To say I miss you is a huge understatement. This has been one of the most difficult periods for me, being away from you. I believe things will still work out for us”
Na wa for this guy o. His actions does not convey what he is saying. Na im sabi joo! I don’t intend to reply him anyway but if I say that my feelings for him are dead then I would be lying. I don’t know if I’ll be able to be all mean and cold if I see him face to face,lol…



So on to other tory…

I may just have chased X away for good o…

Okay, thing is that I have been a bit blue of late cos of O’s issues and all and somehow too, I have also been venting my frustrations on X. Not that I have said anything o but my actions have said it all.


X’s mum has been in his place for close to two months now. She came visiting from the East. X actually informed me the day she arrived that his mum was round and that he would love for me to visit and meet her cos she has been asking of me and all(yea, he’s told her about me. His popsie is late). I agreed that I was going to come see her but truth is I never had plans to. I just didn’t want to argue with him but two months down the line and she preparing to leave back to the east. The pressure from X to see her mounted.

Last week, X had told me that she was leaving on Sunday(last Sunday) and I promised to come by on Saturday. Friday evening he called to confirm if I was still coming the next day. I was in a foul mood(mourning my relationship with O) and wasn’t in the mood to see X so I lied that I was going to the market to shop for the house and I wouldn’t be able to make it. Maybe at a corner of my mind, was the hope that O would call and ask that we see that Saturday and talk things over so I wanted to leave the day free for him. Maybe, I said o!lol…

Anyway, I didn’t go to see X’s mum and she left. Monday evening, when he closed for the day, X dropped into my office. I must confess again, I was a bit cold towards him. He sat for a while and when he saw I wasn’t talking to him. He got up and said he was leaving. I just nodded my head, like I didn’t care. Since that Monday, he hasn’t called or dropped by again. Not sure I miss him tho but I definitely miss the attention ;)



Ehen, I told you guys, I talked to Bobo Nice abi?
That was like two weeks ago.

So I had called Bobo Nice like a week before that day, after I received that call from SL(Strange lady). I was really upset with him for giving her my number to call and plead with me to marry him. He was shocked when he learnt that she had called me cos according to him he didn’t give her my number or ask her to call. What happened was that, she had visited him and was going through his phone when she saw my name and asked him who I was. He had told her about me. How he loved me but I wasn’t reciprocating and all. She told him that she could call and talk to me for him but he said he didn’t want that cos he knew I wouldn’t like it. He didn’t know she copied my number all the same and called.
I believed him sha. Bobo nice wasn’t the type to lie about something like that but when he said he was going to call S.L and berate her for what she did. I told him not to and that he should just it go cos I felt she did what she did in good spirit and felt she was being a good friend. He finally agreed to forget about it after which I told him that we needed to sit down and talk about the issue. He said okay and we agreed to meet the following weekend.

That Saturday, we met up at a pizza place and in between munching pizza and coke. I told him about O and how I felt about him. He already knew about X and he knew also when we broke up but I told him that X was staging a comeback and that I was considering him since things may not work out with O cos of his tribe and my folks. He felt really bad cos I wasn’t even considering him but I told him that I loved him as a friend and I didn’t have any romantic feelings towards him. I encouraged him to give other girls a chance and see where it leads to. We talked for very long o! At the end of it all sha, when we hugged and said our goodbyes, I felt kinda relieved and even though I knew he had been hurt, I was sure he realized It was all for the best. We promised to keep in touch with each other and agreed that nothing stopped us from hanging out once in a while.

So that’s the latest with Bobo nice.



Then B.G…

Kai! I have never met a more unrelenting guy in my whole entire life, I swear.
Even though I broke up with him when I started seeing O. He has never stopped hoping that we would still come back together.
These days, he sends me text messages at least four times a day. One in the morning asking how my night was. One in the afternoon, asking how my day is going, another one late evening asking if I got home okay. Then one last one at night, wishing me a good night’s rest. Besides, he still calls at least once in the day just to hear my voice, he says,lol…Na wa for this thing called love o! Why can’t one love a person that loves him/her equally? Things would be lots easier that way or don’t you guys think so?

Then again recently, B.G seems to have gotten it into his head that somehow he was responsible for our break-up. I have tried to reassure him several times that he wasn’t the cause. I met somebody else, fell in love and that was it! Although when I think about it more deeply, it was probably something that I found lacking in B.G and which O had that attracted me to him in the first place.

For instance, I like my man to dress sharp and smell nice. B.G is kinda like a sloppy dresser. When I met him, he was much worse but I tried to get him to pay more attention to his looks. I must give it to him that he tried to change a bit but then he still didn’t get to the level I wanted. I so hate a man wearing torn, ‘It was white’ singlets and jeans with dirty hems that looked like they hadn’t been washed in ages. B.G was like that. O on the other hand sure knows how to pull it off. Even when he is dressed in a Tee and jeans, he still looks & smells edible,lol…same goes for X too. He is also a good dresser.


Then again, just before i broke up with B.G, I had reason to travel to his place(as in his villa) cos of his mum's burial. Meen, what i saw enhhh! I didn't like at all. The way they lived in their place. One compound with a lot of extended families. To me, that is the perfect recipe for plenty wahala cos one doesn't even have his/her own privacy. My mother's father's compound was like that and i know all the troubles and diabolical activities that went down before my grandpa had to ask his brother's and their families to find their squareroot,lol...

I talked to B.G about it and his response sealed my mind for me. He didn't see anything bad with it. In fact he even preferred the whole 'Communal living' style. Na so i pack my kaya, pick race,lol...


So on that note, maybe somehow he (B.G) was partly responsible for me breaking up with him. Now he is begging me to give him another chance, I am very reluctant cos you all know what they say about adults. “It is hard to learn how to use the left hand when you are grown up”. That's an Ibo adage which means that it is hard to change an adult cost they are already set in their ways so it’s either I accept B.G the way he is or forget about him totally cos trying to change him may not be possible.

I know I promised to yarn about doctor but pls guys, lets leave that for the next post. I am trying to make my posts short these days, lol…as if this one never long pass river Nile sef.

Am out abeg, we go dey see for yonder…

The talk.

I didn’t wait too long before O calls to say he was outside my house. I quickly freshen up and rush outside to meet him. We walk to our usual spot at the end of my close. No one is around cos it’s late and everyone is in the comfort of their homes so we have all the privacy we need.
I have this serious look on my face which he notices and tries to get me to loosen up. “Ha, aphro why the strong face now? Looosen up now…oya give me a smile, smileee now…”
I try to smile but I know it isn’t convincing cos the smile feels fake even to me. He shrugs and goes “Okay so what is this thing we need to talk about”.

I can’t recount what I said to him word for word but I can summarize it.
So I tell him how I feel he hasn’t been showing enough commitment in our relationship cos If I don’t call, he won’t call. How I feel I am the one trying to make the relationship work. How I need to know what exactly he has in mind for the relationship cos it’s been since months now and I believe a six months old baby has started crawling at least and taking solid foods so we need to establish a course for our relationship. How I felt by now he should know if I was the kind of woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with and vice versa. I also tell him about my discussion with my mum and her reaction but that I needed to know what he was thinking before starting an unnecessary war with my folks.

After talking for a while, I stop and look at him to see if he is getting the message. He looks at me amused then says “Go on now, am listening…”
I reply “But I just said a lot now and I want you to respond to all I said”
Then he chuckles quietly, adjusts himself properly on the pavement floor where we are seated and speaks.
“Aphro, you know how I feel about you. You know my people love you already. My mum and brothers havn’t met you but they are always asking about you. My sister likes you…”
I cut in “That is not what am asking you. This is not about ur family but about you and me. What do you really want? I need to know”
“Aphro, I love you and I will love to marry you. How can I not want that? You are a great person and I can wake up to your face everyday for the rest of my life but I am scared. I'm scared your parents will not accept me. Look at what you just said about your mum’s reaction. I have always wanted to marry into a family that accepts and loves me and I don’t want to be a problem for you and your family. I don’t want you to hate me later on in life for putting you against your parents”
My head is bent down and I am quietly listening to him but my mind is working seriously.
He goes on.
“What happens if I come to ask for your hand and they reject me? What happens then aphro?”
I look up at him. The sadness in my heart threatening to break out as tears from my eyes but I steel myself before I begin to talk.
“I have heard all you said. Whether they accept you or not doesn’t arise now. The main issue should be is this what you and I want? If we are both sure that we want to be together then facing my parents is the next step. I am not thinking of the problems I may encounter in your family. Am not worrying If they will accept me or not or if they will change their attitude towards me later. You are not ibo but am not thinking whether I will be able to adjust to your culture or not. All that are secondary issues. The main issue is Do I want to be with this man for the rest of my life? Anyway my interpretation of all you just said to me is that you are not ready for marriage and you are just trying to use my parents as an excuse. It is okay. The last thing I will do is to marry a man who doesn’t want it as much as I do. I should have talked to you first before bringing it up with my mum. Maybe it wouldn’t have been necessary to tell her about you in the first place”

At this point, he tries to pull me into his arms as he speaks
“Aphro, is that your own interpretation of what I said? It is not true at all. Am not trying to use your parents as an excuse. All am saying is the truth. I know how you feel about me. Infact if I was in doubt before, your actions today and what you just said now has just dispelled that. You say you shouldn’t have discussed me with your mum today but I think it is a good thing. I am happy that you did. I just know that there will be problems. Your parents will see me as an intruder which I don’t want…”

I cut in.
“You know what? I am not convinced you love me enough. I will tell you something. The guy I broke up with when I met you, B.G. He wanted to marry me but I wasn’t sure I wanted that and anytime he brought up the issue, I always told him that my parents won't accept him cos he wasn’t catholic and he is not from my place. Do you know what he would say? He would say to me “Aphro, forget about ur parents. If you love and accept me, your parents will have no choice but to accept me. That is a man in love. O, that is a man in love!”

I stop at this point. There is a palpable silence. I glance sideways at him and he looks really quiet and deep in thought. I know that what I just said has touched a raw nerve. Maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned B.G. I know how men hate to be compared with other men and O really hates it. Anyway, I needed to stress my point and that was the best way I could do it. It may have been a wrong way but I have done it. All there was to do now was to wait for him to speak. It was a long wait but he finally did when I started sobbing silently.

“*Clearing his throat* I have heard all you said Aphro. You know I hate been compared with anybody but it’s okay. I have heard you. Maybe I was seeing things differently from the way you are seeing it. You are upset now so i don’t want us to continue this. I need to digest everything that has gone down here and you need to calm down too so maybe we should just stop talking about this now okay?”

By now, am sobbing even harder but I respond still.
“I have always dreamt that when i would get married, it would be a romantic marriage proposal where my man would go down on his knees and ask me to marry him and I would jump on him and say yes. This is not how I wanted it. I shouldn’t be the one asking you if you want to spend your life with me or not..."

He stands up and pulls me up into his arms. I hug him tightly and look up at him with tear filled eyes still speaking.
“I understand if you want to think about it... It’s okay…”
“No, It’s not that. I don’t need to think about it…I just think that emotions are high now. I love you baby, I do even if you do not believe it…”
Wiping my eyes, I glance at the clock on my mobile phone.
“You need to start going now. It’s getting really late”

We walk back towards the house in silence. At the front of my house, we stare at each other. I don’t know if he expects a good night kiss. I want to kiss him but I know the mood is not right so I turn away and walk into my gate. He also gets into his car and drives off.

That was Tuesday night.

Wednesday all day, I expected his call but he never called. Got a text from him as I was preparing to leave for home in the evening. It read-

“I have not been myself since our talk last night. I don’t wanna lose you, the mere thot of it renders me clueless as to how life would be without you-unbearable”

I didn’t reply it though...didn’t know what to say.

I am typing this post on Friday morning and till this moment he hasn’t called or sent another text. I have decided to let him be. It is hard but I won’t call or text either. Let him take all the time he needs. Marriage is an important step; I do not expect him to take it if he isn’t ready.

Just that he may not find me willing when he finally decides to.

There is still plenty gist o. I haven't told you guys I talked with Bobo Nice. Then there is B.G too who of late has been sending sweet text messages to me asking that I have a rethink about us. Aha! There is Doctor too. I have never blogged about him before. He is currently in the UK doing a course but will be back in the country sooon.

So guys, keep a date next week for more tory(Una like gist well well o,lol...)

Great weekend everyone.

Out in the Open finally...

Before I start today’s post, I’ll like to say this.
I do not write these stuff about my love life because I don’t have a mind of my own and I need people to tell me what to do.
No!
The reason I come here to post happenings in my love life is for the sole reason that nobody knows it all. It is always good to have a neutral opinion about issues. One could be thinking one thing based on one’s understanding and another person comes up with an entirely different perspective of the same issue and you realize that things are not exactly how you initially thought them to be.
Most times, it is the person who stands at the side watching a fight that can actually give a correct account of what led to the fight and which party was at fault not the one who was involved in the fight himself.
I find that a lot of times from the comments you leave I have been enlightened further or my eyes have been opened wider to see certain things in a different light than I initially did. You my friends, have been really awesome so far and I do not regret starting this blog or sharing my experiences with you. Not at all. I will continue to write them down and I hope you continue to bless me with your intelligent comments.
Thank you my dears.
Aphro.

Phew!
Finally got that little speech over with.
Now to today’s post.

It turns out that X didn’t put me on suspension afterall.
Okay lemme start with O.
The whole of that day (Monday), I didn’t pick his calls or reply his messages till late evening when I got back from work. By then I was beginning to feel sorry for him so when he called again for the umpteenth time that night, I answered. He sounded really worried and asked if there was any problem and why I hadn’t been picking his calls. I said there was no problem and that I had been busy all day. Then he asked why I didn’t return his calls when I saw them and I said I didn’t want to. From my reply, he knew something was up and kept asking me what it was. I finally caved in and said I was mad at him for not calling me all through Sunday. His reply was that he thought I would call if I was free but I didn’t so he felt I had other plans. I said
“hmm…hmmm, na so!” He sha apologized and I said he shouldn’t bother cos there was nothing to apologize for. Then he asked if we could talk during happy hour (free midnight call time). I said he could call if he was awake. Conversation ended. He didn’t call that night. I guess he over slept. I didn’t call too although I was awake.

Oh! Before I forget. I called X that Monday night too. Had some spare credit on my phone and felt wharrahel, lemme just lhim and feel his pulse. It was a very brief one.
Me: Hello…
X: Hello…
Me: What’s up? Are you okay?
X: Yea I am…
Me: Okay, I just called to make sure you were okay cos I haven’t heard from you all these while. Good nigh…
X: Am fine. How is Mum, Dad and everybody…
(I didn't let him finish. If he was that concerned about my folks he should have called to enquire about how they were doing and not wait till I call to start asking me long questions)
Me: Everybody is fine. Good night.
X: Okay Good night. Will see you tomorrow…
Click.(line dropped.)

Next morning (Tuesday). I was still trying to settle in for the day’s work when X dropped in. I looked up and said “So the reason you dropped in today was cos I called you last night abi? If I didn’t call you, you probably won’t be here this morning”.
He tried to refute what I said and explained that he had been very busy as they had been having training since the previous week in his office and he was in charge of co-ordinating things.
I wasn’t accepting that excuse though. “So your training extended even to your house after work? What happened to all those times you dropped in after work? Anyway whether you admit or not, I know that the only reason you came here this morning is cos I called you last night”
He would not agree with that. “It’s not true baby. I have been very busy. Okay am very sorry please forgive me. You know I don’t like it when you are angry”.
I looked at his face. “Me, angry?! Nooo, for what now. No need to apologise ke”.
After some awkward minutes of silence. He goes “Okay, I have to get back to the office now. I’ll see you later”.
I nod my head and he turns to leave but stops suddenly.
“Ehen! how are we celebrating your birthday?”My birthday is coming up soon-September 2nd. I was impressed he remembered but I reply nonchalantly.
“My birthday? I’m not celebrating”
“I’ll like to take you on a trip to Ghana”
“Ghana? I don’t think I want to go anywhere…”
He stares at my hand on the table and says “And I have something I want to give you but it has to wait till then”
Next he lifts my hand off the table, holds my ring finger and asks “Hmm…what size of ring do you wear?”
In my head. Am already doing the logic & reasoning.
“Why are you asking?"
“Nothing just wanted to know…”
“Anyway, I don’t know the size…”
I give him this odd look. He has a funny smile on his face. “It’s okay. Don’t worry” he says and turns and leaves finally.
I look at the closed door in alarm.
OH MY GOD…HE WANTS TO GIVE ME AN ENGAGEMENT RING ON MY BIRTHDAY!
I feel the panic rise in my throat and my mind goes into a riot.
Yeee…Things are getting serious. It’s high time I make a decision what road to take and stick to it o! What if he gives me an engagement ring? What do I do? Accept it…or reject it? I don’t even have the answer to that. I want to get married and X is not a bad guy but O…ha O!..I love O! But does he love me as well? Does he think am worth sharing the rest of his life with? Maybe he doesn’t love me like that. Aphrodite stop jumping to conclusions. Talk to him first. Gauge his reaction. That should give you a clue as to what to do next.

All these were the thoughts going on in my mind.

Finally, I arrive at a conclusion.
I need to have that talk with O again.
This time I was not going to take “let’s take it a day at a time” for an answer. It is either he wants or he doesn’t want. Six months is enough time for him to know if he wanted this relationship to be a permanent one or not.
My mind made up to talk with O, I calmed down and faced the day’s work

I was in the middle of work when he called me. O i mean.
He apologized for not staying awake to call as promised the previous night. I said it was okay. He noticed I wasn’t sounding too bright and he asked “Aphro what is the matter? Are you still angry with me?” “Nothing is the matter. Just that we need to talk” I replied.
“Talk? About what? Tell me what it is” I could feel the rising curiosity in his voice.
“It’s not a telephone conversation. We’ll talk when we see”
“Okay, I’ll try to leave the office early and come by to see you at home this evening. Is that okay?”
“Yea, it is. See you then”
“Bye”

Throughout the rest of the day. I kept thinking about the impending discussion with O and how I was going to present the issue.I didnt want it to look like i was a desperado for marriage or anything like that. I even chatted with a close girlfriend about it. She had never being a fan of O and kept telling me “Aphro fashi dat guy, he is not going to marry you”. However when I gisted her about how O spent the night at the hospital recently with me when I was admitted for one day (Sorry I didn’t blog about that). She had a change of heart and said she didn’t know he was that caring. She also agreed with me that it was necessary to talk with him and determine exactly where the relationship was heading.

Buoyed by my chat with my friend. I was ready for 'The Talk'

I got home that evening to find my mum in the mood for a chat. She asked how my day went and I found myself telling her everything. She already knew X was staging a comeback in my life but she didn’t know how serious things were. I have never been more open on love issues with my mum as I was that evening. I told her about how I wasn’t feeling the love for X as I used to. How I think he is planning to propose to me on my birthday. The Ghana trip. Then I told her my biggest secret these past six months. I told her about O.
How he was the one I loved now. How nice he was and that he works in a bank. She seemed cool with my gist until I mentioned he was Edo but his mother was Ibo. She sat up straight, looked me in the eye and said “Why do you always like to go the negative way?”
I'm like “How mum?” She goes on. “Edo? God forbid! Let them use their witchcraft and kill my daughter for me, no way!”
I know better than to argue so I let her finish talking before I start explaining the connection O has with uncle 1004. Remember I had said in an earlier post- The pleasant surprise that O’s aunt(his mother’s younger sister) is married to my uncle(Mum’s relation). After my explanation. Mum calms down a bit. She didn’t look like she was ready to kill anyone anymore,lol…but she goes on to advise me to forget about O and stick with X because the devil you know is better than the angel you don’t know(her words exactly).
I say “Mum, but you haven’t met him yet now…” She says “Why do I have to meet him? There is no point. Nne you can’t go to Edo please”. She goes on to lecture me about Edo people and how they are known for diabolical stuffs. I listen in silence. After a while she says. “Talk to your father about it, let us hear what he has to say”
I go “Haa…I can’t o! You want him to kill me?!! Mum you tell him for me”
She laughs. “Nooo! Tell him yourself”
Shaking my head vigorously and saying “Noooooo” I get up and head to my room. I needed to change and wait for O.

Sorry guys. I have to continue this post later. Damn! it is too long as it is already and my fingers are numb from typing. Promise to be back sooner than you think. Gist plenty ooooo...so stay tuned,lol...

Expecting to read your sincere intelligent comments as usual.

xxkissesxx

Settling...

Mummy said to me recently…
“Aphrodite, my dear, I would love for you to get married soon and to someone from our place. It is a thing of pride for a mother who’s daughter marries from home and not from faraway. However, I don’t mind if the man is not from our town but he has to be of the same tribe as us. A first daughter doesn’t go too far from home, you hear?”

I heard her loud and clear.

These past few days, its becoming more and more imminent that I may have to say ‘yes’ to X. O hasn’t asked anything yet so there is no question to say yes to. I know where my heart lies but it is unfortunate that I have to make a decision that may not be in line with my heart’s desire.

X is not a bad guy. He is actually good to me and I think he will make me a good husband. I may never get to know what kind of husband O will make. I used to love X, am sure I can still rekindle that love and make the best of married life with him after all it is said that if life hands you lemons, you make lemonade out of them!
I might as well try to make lemonade out of my lemons.

Love, everyone says is a decision.
I did not choose to fall in love with O. It just happened!
But I chose to fall out of love with X then. Maybe I can try to fall back into love with him again.

I know some of you my friends may feel that am ‘settling’. Maybe I am. The truth is that I really want to settle down and have those beautiful babies and if X is the man, so be it! For many girls, X could be the man of their dreams. Is it becos there is O and I am opportuned to have choices that I do not know that I should appreciate what God has presented before me?

I don’t need a soothsayer to tell me that my parents will not accept O simply because he is not Ibo. X is not from my town but at least he is Ibo and my family already know him and do not have anything against him.

I must admit also that I am a bit scared of waddling into unknown rivers. Marrying a man from a different tribe scares me really. They may have some strange culture and traditions that doesn’t tally with my own beliefs and values as a person. What happens then? Call it cowardice but the truth is I am more comfortable amongst my own.

I haven’t said anything to O yet. I don’t even know how to bring the issue up. X has been waiting patiently for an answer to his proposal. I don’t know how long his patience will last.

I wanted so much to find the kind of mind-consuming, heart skipping love I desired which was why I named this blog-‘Girl in search of love’ . Just when it seems I had found what I wanted. I have to let it go.

It’s so sad…
:(

The party and the pleasant surprise.

Happy new week everybody.
Hope ur weekend went down well and no wahala at all?
We thank God for life and I thank him for all of you my friends. Una too much jare.
May this week bring all the favours and blessings we hope for, Amen.


Okay so what gist do I have for you guys today.

Plenty!



I just pray I have enough time to spill it all out.

There is a challenge between O and I going on now.

We call it the Romance Challenge.

Its like this, we realised that we haven’t been particularly romantic towards each other as we should so everyday each person has to try and outdo the other with some romantic gesture. So far it’s been cool sha and guess who has been winning. Moi of cos! That guy has no romantic bone in his body at all. I have told him, he has a lot to learn in the romance department.

Last night I serenaded him with my favourite song of the moment-No Air(Jordin Sparks/Chris brown). He was so happy. Who no like beta thing? Anyway am waiting to see what he’ll do today. So far I haven’t been impressed at all.



Last Saturday was my mum’s birthday and she had a party. I planned to invite O to the party and use the opportunity to introduce him to my family as my friend o, nothing more! I never ready to answer question yet,lol…

Anyways, that plan was spoilt when I realized K and X would be coming. Mum is friendly with both guys and invited them both. Knowing them(K & X) very well, I knew they would try to cling to me all through the event so I decided not to put O through the embarrassment. He wasn’t too happy that I didn’t invite him cos somehow I let it slip that we were having a party that weekend, however he thought it was probably cos I wasn’t ready for him to meet the parents yet.



I also invited B.G. The guy I used to date before I met O(see earlier posts). True, he is also still nursing the hope that we can still end up together. Sincerely I know he truly cares for me sha. In fact if u ask me between O, X and B.G, who loves me more. I’d say B.G and am very sure about that. He proved it in more ways than one while we were dating even up till now despite the fact that I broke things off with him and told him I was in love with some other guy(O).

So that day, There were three guys jostling for my attention at the party. X, K and B.G.

K and X knew they were rivals but they still put up a show of greeting each other with smiles although I wonder if it reached their hearts. B.G didn’t know either of them and they didn’t know him too. I tried to busy myself with attending to the guests but every chance they got, one of them was sure to corner me at a spot acting all husbandy and all. Even B.G had to go introduce himself to Mum as ‘my friend’. Mum being the sharp woman she is later asked me what kind of friend i was with that guy that came to greet her. I replied that he was my friend too,lol…



X’s own was the one that pissed me off sef. Anytime he saw me talking to a male guest for more than 5 minutes, he would come around and introduce himself to the guy and before he left us, he was sure to tell me some thing using the prefix ‘Honey’. I just tire for the guy. Sometimes when he called that Honey, I go just do ear like say I no hear at all. Which kain marking territory be that one now?
One of my friends(a guy) who attended even commented-“Wetin dey do that guy sef? Even if u be im wife, make e take am easy now!”

K adopted a much more mature attitude. He just kept his distance. He obviously noticed I didn’t want any gumming body not to add that X was always hovering around like fly over shit so the poor guy no see chance to take corner me.



I just kept thanking God that I didn’t make the mistake of inviting O. The guy eye for just turn reeeeed!!!

The party went well sha.

Later that night. O called me and it was to give me a surprising news. It was a pleasnt surprise.

He had told me some time back that his aunty(mother’s younger sister) was married to a guy from my town. I just waved it aside as one of those gists so you can imagine my shock when he called me that Saturday night. Our conversation went thus:



O: Aphrodite, you can’t believe this…my uncle knows ur family very well.
Me: Your uncle?
O: Remember I told you my mum’s younger sister was married in your place. They both know ur family very well. Speak with him.
(At this point another voice comes on)
Uncle: Nne, kedu?(How are u?)
Me: O dim ma(am fine). Who is this?
Uncle: Your mother’s brother…
Me: My mother’s brother? Which one?
Uncle: Uncle E. 1004(He used to live with his family at 1004 in V/I. As kids we called him Uncle I004)
Me: Uncle!!! Good evening sir! Kee ka unu mere(How are you people doing?)
Uncle: We are doing fine. How is your mummy? Is she there, let me greet her.
Me: She is fine, hold on let me give her the phone



I ran to give mummy the phone only to find the line had cut off.
Later O called and gave me the gist. Uncle 1004 who is my younger brother’s god father(yea our families are that close!) is his auntie’s husband. They had given him a lot of gist about my family and all. In fact O was just giving me gist about my family. I didn’t worry sha cos there are no skeletons in our cupboard so nothing to fear. Later on when mumsy was asking me how come Uncle 1004 called me on my phone to greet her instead of calling her. I had to explain what happened. She asked me who the friend of mine was. I told her he was just a friend. She asked where he was from. I said Edo state, then she said okay she remembered Aunty T(uncle’s wife) had a sister who married an Edo man.



Anyway, that’s the gist o!

O and I have some sort of connection. I wonder if this is a sign from God that things will work out between us and the tribe thing wouldn’t be a barrier at the end of the day.

O however told me that uncle E had told him that it would be a difficult battle to get my folks to accept him as a son-in-law cos they are really staunch Catholics and also wont like me to marry a non-ibo even though his case was slightly better since he was half Ibo (his mum is Ibo).
Oh well, make we dey see sha…


What else?
Okay, I know y’all have been asking what happens to X?
Truth is I haven’t told him anything yet but it’s beginning to look like I will have to soon given the way he acted at the party last weekend-like he owned me and had paid my bride price or something.
I am just being relauctant to tell him off outrightly cos again am feeling I may be making a mistake. O hasn’t declared his stand as per marriage. X has and like a lot of people(my mum too) have pointed out, he has a lot of nice qualities to make a good husband. A friend of mine (a much older guy who should know) also told me that what makes a marriage successful happens within it and not before it and I shouldn’t be deceived by that rush of ‘hot love’ that most young ladies seek.

Me I no know again sha.

O or X?

Helloooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!
The truant is back!
Yes o, no be for only school na im person dey be truant o. I have given myself the title-“Ogbonge truant of Blogville”,lol…
First of all, let me apologize to those that haven’t seen me at their blogs. Really am truly sorry but you know the reason now…work! I dey try small sha to pop in once in a while but it’s not been easy I must confess. I hail those who are able to update everyday and check all the blogs cos e no easy ra ra…

Secondly, I’ll like to thank everyone who drops by to read and comment. I appreciate all of you and y’all make me look forward to coming here everytime.

Okay that done. Now to give u the latest gist.

O finally broke the silence by Monday evening. He sent a text asking how I was and all. I replied his text telling him I was doing fine and asking after his affairs too. A few minutes after I sent the text, he called. I guess he was probably waiting for the green light(my reply) lol…

We spoke at length. He apologized for blanking me out and I accepted his apologies. However, I told him I didn’t like his way of cutting me out each time we had an argument and he promised he was going to stop doing that.

So we made up.

I haven’t spoken about X for some time now and it’s not becos we haven’t been in touch. We have been seeing each other; you all know his office is just opposite mine so he comes in regularly to say hi. Then again we live in the same vicinity so he comes around to the house sometimes. I must admit that I haven’t been discouraging him. Truthfully, he has been exceptionally good to me. Really caring and all…it’s almost like we are back to the way we used to be.

Am sure peeps like Charizard and LG go don dey frown by now,lol…

Okay I confess, I have started liking X all over again o. Maybe its becos O has been acting sme-sme of late and X has been like the perfect boyfriend model. I don’t know if that’s the reason but I sha know I am liking the guy even though my likeness never reach the point wey I go dey accept im sexual advances,lol…

Sometime last week, X was in my house and my folks had all gone out. We were watching TV together when small time bobo come begin to dey rub my body and come dey try to kiss me. I put on this fierce face and told him to “Stop... I don’t want!” Then I moved over to another couch. The bobo didn’t like it but wetin im go do? True am feeling him but not to that level yet. Man must tread cautiously abeg and O still dey there sef.

Anyway some times when we are together and O calls. I see the look X gives me but I sha ignore him. Once, I got a text from O and as I was reading it, I forgot X was there and I was smiling this goofy smile. When I finish reading and looked up, X was looking at me with a funny look on his face. I asked him “What?” and he said “That was a guy’s text that is making you smile abi?” I didn’t reply.

Then I asked him a question.

“Are we back together, what are we really doing?”
He says. “Yes we are back together babe”
Am like, “How did that happen…you do remember I told you there was someone in my life?”
He goes. “Yes I do and now you mention it, we need to talk about it. I noticed you have been receiving phone calls from some guy and text messages too. I know you’ve said it before but I didn’t believe you. Now I want to hear it from you again. Do you have another guy?”
I look at his face and see the seriousness. “Yes I do, am seeing another guy”
He looks like he had just been slapped and I noticed he tries to pull himself together and give me that macho attitude that guys give.
“Okay so now we need to get this settled finally. You have been with me and now you are with this guy. I want you back, in fact I want to marry you but I don’t want to be the second guy in your life. It’s either me or that guy. I want you to choose now so we can sort this once and for all”

The last time this came up between X and I , I somehow got out of it, now this is looking really tight!

Most of you probbably think i should tell X off and stick with O but It's not that easy. I couldn't! At that point when X asked me to choose, I realized that I still feel something for him a lot of things flashed through my mind. I remembered when we used to date and how good and caring he always was. X always went out of his way to ensure i was happy. He never gave me attitude like O does sometimes. Even when I misbehave he is always quick to forgive and forget. Do I really want to give up X for O?

And then I remembered the last time I was with O. That was a day after we had made up over the phone. We hung out after work and he had apologized all over again, saying he was going to put in more effort to make our relationship work.
I had asked him the ultimate question most unserious guys hate to hear. “What do you want out of this relationship”. I didn’t mean to pressure him to say he wanted to marry me o, I just wanted to psych him up a little.
His response was: “I really care about you babe and want you in my life but I want us to take this one day at a time”

O wants to take things a day at a time.
X wants to marry me today today

What do I want?
I want to marry a man that I love and respect and who will love and respect me forever.

The question now is who will that man be? O or X.

O hasn’t proposed o and X seems to be getting impatient for an answer.

Una fit help me for this one?

Happy weekend everyone!

Tumbo, Tumbo

I am still here. I haven’t relocated to Mars yet or is it Venus since am the girl in search of love, that should be the planet for me…don’t you think? lol.

Anyway, it’s been a while. I have been caught up in los of stuffs but I just had to find the time to update my blog. This blogging thing is not as easy as I thought initially but don’t worry guys, I aint giving up yet.

So O and I are still cool just that recently am discovering each day that if I have to pitch my tent with him for life, I have to be ready to accept the fact that I won’t be getting pampered the way I like. With O, I am the one that has to do the pampering. He always needs some sort of reassurance that I truly care for him. I have told him to stop being insecure but I don’t blame him too much, dude knows that there are lots of other guys hanging around and ready to take over his position if he f…ks up.

I care about him. I am sure of that but I also know I want a man who will dote on me and worry himself to death if I even as much as have the slightest of headaches. That’s K for you but unfortunately I don’t love K like he does me. Too bad.

Talking about Mr. X. He has really been outdoing himself these days. Calling regularly to check up on me, bringing me lunch at work (remember I told you his office is opposite mine) and some other loving stuffs. He says he is not giving up till I forget what happened and give him another chance.

Now to what happened that led to our breakup…I have shared this with my mum and a few close friends and most of them believe that what happened wasn’t enough for me to break up with X.
Actually, what happened is this-I had found out he had something with this other girl. He denied it but I found out that he was lying to me. I called the girl under the guise of being X’s sister and she opened up to me. When I confronted X with my discovery, he insisted that she wasn’t anything serious but then I didn’t trust him anymore so I ended the relationship. I must say this, I am a very jealous lover. I cant stand to share my man with anybody. If I am being faithful to you, I demand that same loyalty from you, finito.

A few days ago, I was discussing X’s comeback with an older male friend of mine and he said to me that sometimes people lie to those they love because they are either scared of hurting them or losing them. He went on to tell me that X may have lied about what happened then cos he was scared of how I would react.
Anyway, the long and short of the matter here is that most peole I have talked to believe that X is a perfect match for me-he is catholic, Ibo and loves me- three necessary criteria for my parent’s approval. Unfortunately O is not catholic, he is from Edo (although he can be said to be part-ibo cos his mum is Ibo) and I feel he loves me but I still see my folks giving me a hard time over him.

More gists o…

I spoke to O’s mum over the phone. We were talking; O and I when he suddenly told me that someone wanted to speak to me. I didn’t expect that it would be his mother. She sounded very nice and warm, said she had heard a lot about me, asked about my family and told me that her younger sister’s husband was from my place. Before she dropped the line she said I should take care of O very well. I replied that it was his duty to take care of me to which her response was that she was sure he was already doing that.
I don’t know but her saying that to me seems like she really approves of the relationship between me and her son or what do you think guys?

And O told me that she wants to meet me.

I don’t know if I should meet her. Isn’t it too early especially with this new developments with X?

Something very funny happened recently.
My mum called me and expressed her concerns over the fact that I haven’t ‘brought the man home finally’. She felt that I was getting confused so she had come up with this brilliant idea (according to her). I was supposed to give her the names of all the guys proposing to me which I did. She wrote out their names on little pieces of paper and folded them then she asked me to pick one of the tiny folded pieces of paper.
It was ridiculous, you know picking my husband out like that, but I went ahead with it just to humour her.
Guess what…I picked Mr. X’s name!
My mum happily announced prophetically to me that X was my destined husband and the sooner I realized it the better.
I don’t agree with the way she went about it-the inny minny maany mo style(tumbo, tumbo) and I’ll like to know what you all think.
That’s it for now guys.

Will do my blog rounds now.

Talking about K

Like I said in my first post, I intend this blog to be like a chronicle of my experiences with men in my search for love.
Okay today, I am going to talk about K.
K is one of the guys currently begging me to accept his marriage proposal.
K is a young man in his early 30s. He is financially comfortable. He is not bad looking physically. Very generous, like seriously he could sell his pant to give me anything I desire. He is also very caring, practically fusses over me so much it gets irritating at times.

Unfortunately despite his good credentials, I do not love K. My Mum likes him and so do my siblings cos he is very giving... always buying them gifts and all that. Me thinks he is trying to buy my love or influence them to convince me he is the best man for me and that kinda puts me off am really he is wasting his time cos no man can buy my love. It is going to be given freely to that person when I find him so K is obviously wasting his time of he thinks he’ll be able to buy me over. I think he is beginning to realize this cos lately he hasn’t been flaunting the gifts and money like before. I think he has wisened up.

K is a business man who hasn’t done badly for himself at all. With the houses and flashy cars he owns, he would be any girl’s dream catch right? For me, he isn’t. He didn’t get a university education and is not very fluent with spoken English and this scores him low points in my rate card.

I have told K that I do not love him but he insists that the love will grow with time after I am married to him. I do not agree with him, for me it should be Love first before marriage not the other way round.

What is your opinion peeps?

INTRO

Hello everyone,
I finally do this! I mean start a blog. For the past one year I have been an invincible member of this very interesting world called blogville. By invincible I mean like I am an ardent reader of naija bloggers but havnt been able to summon the courage to start mine up till now.
Blogging is great really but I see that drama that builds up at times and I wonder if I am ready to be a part of it. If I have the courage to put up with haters(who I know will definitely be there). Nonetheless, I have began this blog and I sure hope I don’t attract too much drama with it. I am not blogging to make friends or to become popular or anything of that sort. This blog for me is to help me put down some of my experiences as a young lady in search of love. I thought that I needed to do this so that when eventually I find that which I seek(LOVE), I should be able to appreciate it berter. By ‘LOVE’, I hope you all understand that I mean the kind of love that exists between a man and a woman, you know the ‘EROS’ kind, right? Yea!

Before I go on, let me do a brief intro about myself. I am a beautiful(if I say so myself), young lady in my late twenties. The first daughter in a family of six. I work in a Public Relations firm in Nigeria. I am a very independent and amiable soul. What else? I guess this would do for now.

Why am I searching for love? Because I have been in love before and I know what a great feeling it is when two people are in love. I want to feel that way again in my life especially with someone who truly feels the same way as I do. I have been in love before like I said but always with the wrong people. Now I want to fall in love again but with the right person. A person who I will spend the rest of my life with.

I have never been short of male admires/toasters. In fact I believe I have more than is healthy for a normal girl. Like I said earlier too, I am very beautiful and I have got a body to die for too(which is really what most men want, isn’t it?). I hope I don’t sound vain cos really that is not the point. Its just that very few men can pass me without taking a second look or wanting to be friends and I find that most times I can’t really tell who wants to be with me because of LOVE or LUST!

Right now in my life. There are quite a number of guys begging me to let them into my life. Some claim that they would die if I don’t marry them but I find that I don’t really feel anything deep for anyone of them. I mean, they could like vanish from the earth’s surface and I wouldn’t care a hoot so obviously I am not in love with any of them. I am at a point where I am beginning to feel the pressure from family and friends to settle down with a man and start a family but I don’t think I should just marry any guy because he is there or because he is professing mad love for me. I believe that before I say the words “ I do”, it has to be for one reason-BECAUSE I LOVE AND I WANT TO SPEND MY LIFE WITH THE MAN INVOLVED!
So I search on….