REWIND

I logged into my blog this morning to find a whole lot of comments.

Thanks peeps. I know you all got my back but somehow it seems as if my last post generated a lot of furore.
Apparently ‘Submission’ is a very controversial/sensitive issue for many people/couples.
After reading all your opinions, I think its only fair to voice out exactly what I feel about a woman submitting to her husband/boyfriend in a relationship.
I believe it’s not just plain this & that or black and white.
One has to apply a lot of wisdom and caution to matters of the heart. I also agree with princesa that there can’t be two captains in a ship. One person has to defer to the other.


The bible tells us that it’s the woman’s duty to defer to her husband but who says a woman can’t steer the ship for, instance? Some times a man out of LOVE can decide to let his wife/girlfriend’s decision prevail. It doesn’t mean he has let go of his position as the head of the home. It only means that he is mature enough to know that they are in the ship together and have equal stakes as individuals.
I think it all boils down to the big word-LOVE. If a man loves his wife thoroughly, submission won’t be an issue cos it will come naturally to the woman. It’s simple!

That's just my opinion. Feel free to disagree. Check out this blog too. She has something interesting to say on the issue of submission between couples.

FFF, you wanted to write about this issue too. Go ahead dear as long as no names are mentioned.

Moving on, I want to apologise for just hitting you guys with that previous post without giving you some background gist first which was why Laughter was asking if I was the one who initiated the meeting with O’s mum.

Anyway, I have decided to put up this post that I had typed before the last one. I wasn’t able to post it then and somehow, events just overtook each other.

I must warn you tho, it’s in my usual fashion, very looooong! lol…You might want to grab some popcorn and coke first ;) Oh well, just read on.

I look forward to reading ur comments meanwhile I’ll be at ur spots sooner that you know…
Kisses…

THE POST THAT SHOULD HAVE COME BEFORE


Hey guys!
I’m sorry if it seemed as if I had gone AWOL on you all.
First of all, let me say a very big Happy New year to everyone.
HhhhaaaappppyyyyyyNnnneewwwyyyeeeaaarrrr!!!!!
Hmmmmmphhh…*catching back my breath*
May 2009 be a year of fulfillment for all of us, Amen.

A lot’s been happening to me just that I haven’t had time to blog for a while. Been busy rounding up 2008, work and all…

Now I have a lil’ bit time, I guess I’ll just update you all on the happenings.

No I haven’t found a new love yet although there have been prospects just that they weren’t my type.

One of them was a cousin of a friend who is based in the U.S but returned to the country for the Xmas hols. I had gone to visit this friend on Xmas day, okay it was more like I had gone to eat Xmas rice at her place,lol…I hadn’t bothered to cook cos I was home alone(everyone had traveled to the Village for Xmas) and my friend had invited me to have lunch at hers so off I went.
Got there, ate and was busy chatting with her when this cousin of hers walked into the sitting room.
Her younger sister exclaimed:
“Aha! Aphro, have you met my fine cousin?”
I turned to look at the new comer.
He was fine all right but not my type of fine. For one, he was too light and looked like he used bleaching creams. That was number one minus. I didn’t want to be dragging cream in the house with my man,lol…don’t mind me ;)

I passed by him in the hallway as I was leaving their house and said goodbye but dude pulled me back and started asking for my details(name & number). I didn’t like the way he went about it but I didn’t want to embarrass him in front of my friend so I acquiesced and gave him the info he sought. His approach was number 2 minus for him tho.

Now, he is back in the U.S and has called me twice already but I don’t see any potential hook-up with him sha.

Maybe I’m still hung on O.
Scratch that, I am still hung up on him.
Yea, I know some of you might want to give me a slap right now,lol….
But the truth is that I still love him too much for my own good.
The temptation to call him has been really strong since this new year especially after my visit to Uncle E’s place on the 1st.

I had gone to visit Uncle E after I saw him at a family function and he had insisted I come by. He was alone with his wife at home when I went. All his kids were grown up now and were either married or on their own.

We had a nice time, gisting and all…Uncle E had always been fun to hang with. He has this very youthful disposition to life and always refers to himself as a ‘small boy’,lol…
His wife is also very warm so I was enjoying my time with them until talk about ‘O’ came up.
Remember his wife is O’s aunt. Refer to this post here.

So somehow the talk drifted to O. I think it was when uncle started complaining about his youngest son who worked in a bank and how he never had time for himself cos he was always working. He had even worked on Xmas day!
Then he said “It’s the same thing O’s mum is complaining about him. He is always working even on weekends, It’s too bad what these banks are doing to our young ones”

I agreed with him but also remarked that in O’s case, I seriously doubt if it was only the bank job that was keeping him busy.

Uncle laughed and retorted “What else then? Okay and you too!” His wife joined in the laughter. I had to defend myself. “Me? Noooo! He hardly even has time for me. In fact to tell you guys the truth we are no more together”

Of course, they were curious to know the whole story so I had to tell them. His aunt(uncle E’s wife) kept insisting that there was no other girl and it was his work at the bank that was keeping him always busy. Uncle was of the opinion that he wouldn’t vouch for him cos he was a young man and anything was possible.

Uncle E’s wife also mentioned that she had spoken to him a few days back and enquired about me. According to her he didn’t say anything to suggest that we had broken up. I only replied that maybe he didn’t want them to know.

They however said they were going to call him to hear his own side of the matter despite my insisting that it wasn’t necessary and I didn’t want him (O) to feel as if I came to report to them so that they could talk to him.

Later that same evening, when I was at home. Guess who called?
O’s mum.
She had called to wish me a happy new year and then she asked the question again:
“What is happening, why haven’t we been seeing you?”
I tried to dodge the question by saying it was nothing.
Then she said “I want to see you. Can you come by the house sometime?”
I answered “Okay ma”

I have been thinking whether to go see her or not. Maybe Uncle E’s wife had talked to her. I don’t want O to start feeling important or anything like that. His ego is already big enough but I also don’t want to appear disrespectful to O’s mum.

What do u guys think?




More gist...


Ehen…O and I had a long midnight conversation last night.
It all started with a text he sent that read thus:


“I’m listening to your boy Chris Brown singing our song-‘With you’ and am hearing the song in your voice. Why did you change and plunge us into this state of existence? Why Aphro?”

I didn’t quite understand him so I sent a reply:
“Me, plunge us into this state? It was you who decided you had had enough of the relationship and stayed away. I only left you alone to lick my wounds in private. Am not surprised tho, it’s always my fault when things go wrong”

He replied:
“Nne m, its not like that. I have my faults too. U just don’t strike me as making enough effort to meet me halfway on issues. If I didn’t come to you, why didn’t you attempt to come to me?”

My reply:
U talk about meeting you halfway when you didn’t even take a step? Maybe am old fashioned but I still believe a man should make the first move and the woman will follow”

Him:
“Remember when u would come see me on ur way out of the office. I always felt so happy seeing you. Was that old fashioned?

Me:
"That should tell you, I would do much more only if I felt that u cared for me. I stopped coming when I stopped feeling loved. U stopped caring and treated me like trash”

He:
“It would be a Herculean task to stop caring about you, if not impossible”

I was tired of the back and forth texting so I called him. It was midnight and already ‘Free calls time’.
We talked for quite some time. Mostly about how we ended up where we were. For him, it was our regular quarrels over silly stuffs that made him stay away. I still held my opinion that if he loved me he wouldn’t give up on the relationship but try to work things out.
I cant really recall all we talked about that night but I remember getting pissed at some things he said. Like when he said:


“Aphro, if we come back together, I’m going to have to be hard on you. I think I spoilt you and let you get away with some things. You are stubborn and I admit, I am too but we can’t keep struggling for supremacy in this relationship. It’s not possible”

I wanted to take him up on that statement but realized that things were still delicate at that point and I didn’t want to worsen the situation so I pretended I didn’t hear him.

We didn’t come to any conclusion that night cos his phone battery went dead and we couldn’t continue talking.

That was two days before the meeting at his mother’s.

Now, I don’t really know what the situation is…if we are back together or not.
We’ve been communicating but there is still a lot of underlying issues that we need to thrash.
A guy pal said to me yesterday:


“Aphro, you really love this guy so you just need to accept him the way he is and learn how to follow him so you guys won’t be having any more quarrels”

I agree I love him but does this mean I have to sentence myself to a life of unhappiness?



I deserve to be loved the way I want. I deserve it!

Dogs, Text messages & Mixed Vibes

Living with Dogs have taught me one thing.
They are very greedy and selfish.
A dog may not want something but would rather hold on to it that let another person/dog have it.
If it’s a bone, that one na another matter,lol…

I just realized that O is acting like the typical Dog.

Bobo no want me again, I mean he showed me all the signs- Not calling, Not replying messages, Not picking his calls, always too busy to find time for me and all.

He even confirmed it(See last post)
He was staying away cos we’ve been having too many issues of late(his own words).

So what was I expected to do.
Stay put and let another man rub shit in my face?

No way!

I decided to move on.

I spoke to an older friend(yea, the same older friend I normally talk to) who is very experienced in love matters.

His advice was that I should send him a text of Finality.
A text that would show him that I was moving on.

According to him(my friend) his response will determine the next course of action.

I argued. “I don’t want to send any text… He wouldn’t even reply the text”

In response, my friend said:
“Aphro dear, if he doesn’t bother to reply the text then please, I beg you….PLEASE forget the guy, he doesn’t deserve you. Cut every tie between the both of you and move on. The man who will appreciate you will come.”

I finally agreed to send the text.

“We don’t have to be strangers just because we are no more in a relationship. My prayer for you is that you find someone to love and who will love you the way you always wanted. Bye.”

Surprisingly, he replied immediately.

“We need to talk. Will find time during the week to come by. Is that okay?”

I replied: “It’s okay”


During the week, he called me one evening on my way home from work to say he was about to leave the office to my place. I wasn’t home yet and it would still be an hour or so before I got home so I told him not to bother coming cos I was still far from home.

He said Fine. Tomorrow then?

Okay. I replied.

He went on.
“So why haven’t you called all this while?”

I was surprised at the question.
“Call? Have you forgotten that you normally ignore my calls?”
“Aphro, I would never ignore your calls baby…”
“Ha ha ha, that’s really funny, I cant believe you are saying that. Anyway, lets not argue. We’ll talk when we see”

The next day, I was missing him so I sent a text.
“How are you? Miss me?”

His reply came in immediately.
“Am doing okay dear. Do you miss me?”

I replied.
“I asked you a question and you replied with the same question”

His reply:
“I have been thinking about you everyday Aphro. I began to call other peeps your name. You mean so much to me. I didn’t mean to stay away, just dat I don’t wanna cos you more pain”

My reply:
“I really cant understand how staying away is supposed to make things better. A relationship can only succeed if the two people involved work at it equally. Sometimes I feel that you are not ready for serious commitment. That can only be the explanation for your actions.”

His reply:
“It’s not that dear. I am ready to settle down but at times you seem like someone else to me and we both become stubborn and misunderstand each other. I stay away cos I am confused”

Me:
“You say we both become stubborn, right? You know how we women get at times, you are the man, you should know how to calm me down and let me understand you”

Him:
“Yes, That is what u have decided and the feelings I have for you are noble enough for me to do the right thing and calm you down when the troubles begin to rage between us”

Me:
“You decided that? Who gave you that advice? Anyway we'll see later. am leaving for home now.”

That was the text banter we had.

I was supposed to see him last week but he didn’t show up.

I put it down to his been very busy at work and reasoned, the weekend was coming and there was the sallah hols on Monday & Tuesday so no matter how bad it was, he would be able to make out time during those four days to see me for the talk we were supposed to have.

Saturday came and went.
No word from him.
Sunday too.

Monday evening, I sent a text.
“I thought we were meant to see but unfortunately, you are too busy even on public hols. Hope you enjoyed urself today”

He replied:
“Sugar, I didn’t enjoy myself o! I was at the office all day. My pathetic story with my bank continues. Will try to come by tomorrow if I can”

Yeah right! I thought. I wasn’t buying that spending all day in the bank shit!

On Tuesday, I was determined not to stay at home waiting for his call so I went out with a girl pal of mine. We had fun and I was able to forget about him for a while until I got home.
Around 8pm, I couldn’t resist the temptation to call to find out if he was still coming.
The phone rang for a while and then cut off. He didn’t answer.

I slept off that night with my phone beside my pillow thinking he would call.

The next morning, I saw his text message.
“Hi angel, sorry I missed your call. Was meant to come over but didn’t finish at the office till about 10pm. I could have still come down to your place but I knew it would be too late for you to come out of your house”


I didn’t bother to reply it.
Jerk! What stopped him from calling back when he saw my missed call?!


I had started to gradually condition my mind to forgetting him finally.
I was really suceeding at it o cos I realized that I wasn’t thinking of him as much as I used to.
I admit, his not calling all these while kinda made things easier.

Only to get this text last nite:
“Listening to some of the love songs you used to sing to me and remembering how we fell in love, thinking of your beautiful face and our first tender moments. I miss you.”

Now it’s obvious, this guy is playing some serious game with me.
He doesn’t have the right to toy with my emotions this way.
He no want…He want…
Which one I go take?

He had better be clear as to what he wants cos I don’t want to be the bone in this dog's paw no longer...

I see that fine mongrel eyeing me,lol....

Katch ya guys!

Me...Madam Mushy

Okay so I didn’t plan to spend the night in the arms of O. It just happened.

We had not been talking.
It had taken all the will power I had in me to stop myself from calling him all this while.
He had been sending all those texts that made me wonder if he really missed me as he claimed…I mean...what stopped him from calling?

Anyway Monday afternoon(the day before my birthday), I couldn’t hold out any longer. I missed him terribly and wanted us to see and talk so I sent this message.

“Hey what’s up? Can we see this evening?’

He replied shortly.
“Yes we can. I’ll be right over as soon as am through in the office”
So I got home from work and waited.
Soon enough, he arrived all smiles as if we never had any issues.
I kept a straight face sha, we had issues and they needed sorting out!

So we went to this hangout. Nice place. Poolside and music. Really romantic.
We talked.
About a lot of stuff. Random stuff. How have you been and all….
He asked about my birthday and how I intended to spend it. I didn’t have any plans to celebrate, I told him.
Then he told me he had missed me so much and the past days had been pure hell. Each time he picked up his phone to call, he had to drop it right back cos he didn’t know what to say to me. He knew exactly what I wanted to hear-“Baby let’s get married immediately!” but he really needed time, a few months to sort some things out.

I was like…. I wasn’t asking for marriage immediately o! I just needed to define where we were headed. What you wanted from me and all…

He said, okay so we are on the same page then. Why did we have to put ourselves through all that emotional turmoil? I really want to marry you aphro…all am asking for is some time.

I was silent.

Soon we drifted off to some other random stuffs. It felt so good to be in his company again, laughing at silly jokes like old times.

Time to leave came sooner than I wanted but we had to go, it was getting late. There were no plans to spend the night together as at then yet.

He was dropping me off in front of my house. We said our good nights and I made to get down when he pulled me back and claimed my mouth with his.

It was a mind blowing kiss!

“Baby, can we spend this night together? I just want to wake up next to you on your birthday” he pleaded.
“No way hosey! We still got unresolved issues. Sex will just complicate things right now”
“Who is talking about Sex? I just want to be with you baby. Hold you in my arms all night. I have really missed you so much”
I laughed.
“He he he he he…you hold me in your arms all night? Why does that sound so unbelievable?”
“Let me prove it to you. nothing is going to happen dear”
“No way…NO WAY! Just go home okay? It’s getting late already”
I got down from the car.
He got down too and came over to my side.
“Pleaseeeeeeeeeee babyyyyyyyyy”
“Nooooooooooooooooo…”
I looked at his face. I guess that was my undoing. He had this sad, lost puppy look on his face that melted my heart. What da heck! I also wanted to be with him so damn the torpedoes!
“Okay, okay, lemme get my stuff”

I didn’t regret spending the night with him.
He popped a bottle of wine at midnight and toasted to me. It was lovely.
Some other things went down too,lol…
Yes, he didn’t keep his promise....
Okay I admit, he did try but na me no let am,lol…
Anh…anh don’t blame me jooo…
Since that last time, nothing…nothing and we’ve only done it that once o! We dey try abi?lol….

And he also apologized formally.
I was standing in front of the mirror brushing my hair when he hugged me from behind.
“I know I have been an ass lately love. I am so sorry. Forgive me baby…”

I smiled. I had already forgiven him. If I hadn’t I wouldn’t be in that hotel room with him.

Okay so I subscribe to this daily horoscope reading thing. This morning in my mail, I saw this.

My Romantic horoscope reading for today:

“How unrealistic are your goals when it comes to love? Do you think your lover will be a drop-dead gorgeous genius with the patience of a monk and the passion of a tango instructor, or are you cool with just dating a mere human? Time to reassess reality.”

I was staring the hard stark truth in the face…sometimes these readings are right on point o!


You know what?
I'm smiling like a cat that just drank a big bowl of milk right now.
Here's why...

O and his elder sister just left my office now. She sells stuff as in jewellry, clothes and perfumes and he brought her so I could pick what I wanted from her stock.
It wasn't just the fact that he wanted me to pick something from her that tripped me. It was the fact that HE LEFT WORK! If you know how tight it is for this bobo to leave office eh? You go understand wetin I mean.
Anyway, his sister's stuffs were expensive o...
I didn't want to be greedy and just took a bottle of perfume (Jennifer Lopez-Live) and a watch although his sis was urging me to take more.
I was like "We don't want to finish our money o"lol...
Even at that, the stuff I took came to about 25K.
In my mind, I was like E no go better say them give me the money cash?
He He he He...No mind my Ijebu traits,lol...

Haa...i just received a text from O now on my phone.
I'll share it with you guys.
"Aphro.....I can call ur name all day and night and it wouldn't be able to convey the depth of my love for you. You are the music of my life. Shall we dance?"

The bobo dey impress me sha...

Abeg make una leave me o...

I be Madam Mushy today, lol...

Mixed Signals...

Hello People.
How was ur weekend. Hope it was blast. Mine was just there but hey, I can’t complain! Am alive and well this beautiful Monday and there is every reason to be grateful for that, abi?

Thanks for your kind and as usual, sincere comments on this blog. I appreciate you all.

Today what gist do I have for you? Plenty as usual…you know how it is now, lol…lots of you have already dubbed me ‘The girl with a drama-filled love life’. Anyway, I no argue at all. I know you guys are right. My love life reach to act Nollywood home movie sef,lol…

This morning on my way to work. I was just thinking about everything that has been happening of late and before I knew what was happening, the tears were welling up in my eyes. Why are things not working out the way I want them to? Since my adolescent years up until now, I have never lacked male attention. In fact I get more than my necessary due. Unfortunately, most times, the attraction is not mutual. I get guys that are fallin over themselves to get my attention but who I don’t feel an iota of attraction for. It is a really rare thing for me to find a man who I love. In all my years of relationships with the opposite sex, I have only being in love with a few but the thing about me is that when I actually fall in love with a person, I fall really hard but then again, I don’t believe in stupid love o…as in mumu blind love wey no dey see road. You go know say man no send you yet you go dey die put for there. God forbid bad thing abeg!
I have been very lucky that the few men I have loved have reciprocated equally or even more sef. Well that is until now…until O.

God knows I love this man(O) with all my heart. My mum called it infatuation(I’ll come to that in a minute) but it is really sad and painful that he doesn’t feel the same way. He may have feelings for me like he claims but the truth which I have come to realize is that the feelings he claims to have are not as strong or deep as the ones I have for him.

Abeg, lemme stop lamenting and take you guys through what has been happening in the past few days.

So it was last Thursday that O dropped in to see me at work. He said he was coming back later on but I didn’t see him after that day up until this moment. I tried to resist the urge to call him up to find out if all was well but then I couldn’t stop myself from sending him a text yesterday.

“Was thinking you would have called or tried to see me this weekend. Its times like this that makes me really wonder if you truly care. Happy Sunday anyway”

He sent a reply:
“Traveled out of town for a training. I am actually in transit now. Miss you much…”

Hmmm…na wa o…I didn’t buy that excuse cos even if he had to travel, he should had mentioned it that day he came around, or even called to tell me. Everywhere in Naija has GSM network now even my remote little village so he can't say he doesn't have network wherever he is. I mean, he replied my text so what stops him from calling?

My prayer this morning was “Dear God please help me forget this guy. He is causing me too much heartache abeg…”

Other gists…

Saturday morning, I woke up very depressed. It was almost like I didn’t want to wake up if it wasn’t to O’s phone call so I just laid in bed feeling sorry for myself(yea, even I feel ashamed of myself,lol…). Finally I decided to send a text to Bobo Nice. I had recently told him about my feelings for O so I was sure he wouldn’t hassle or stress me with pleas to consider him like either B.G or K would. So I texted him: “Am bored and depressed. Don’t wanna stay home all day feeling sorry for myself. Would love to hang out. Are you free?”
In a few minutes, his call came. He was very worried about me and wanted to know why I was depressed but I told him it wasn’t stuff we could talk about over the phone and that I’d tell him when we see. He informed me that he had just gotten a new apartment and was heading over there to set things up so I offered to come help him set up and after we were through, we could hang out somewhere and talk over drinks. He liked the idea so as soon as we ended the call, I got out of bed and went to get ready to head over to his new place.

Later on, dressed up and on my way out of the house, my mum asked me where I was going to and I told her. She knew Bobo nice cos he had come to the house a couple of times and even called her on her birthday. So she asked “Hmmm…so it’s Bobo Nice now?” I knew exactly what she meant and I replied “Noooo! Mummy, Bobo Nice is just a friend now…you know that. although he wants something more but I don’t love him like that. He is almost like a brother to me”.
She said “But he is a good boy and he is very God fearing” I rolled my eyes “Mummy! I don’t love him like that!!” She laughed and joked in Ibo “My child, whoever did this to you it will not work for him/her o!” lol…I burst out laughing and said “It will not work o!” My mum like many other mothers is concerned and wants her first daughter to get married and since it isn’t as if there is a drought of suitors, she doesn’t understand why it is taking me so long to make a decision. I don’t blame her at all, even me, I don’t even understand myself,lol…

Anyway, she went on “So who is the person you love? The Edo boy?” I nodded.
She said, “You have known Bobo Nice for four years now, yet you don’t love him and this one you just met six months ago, you love him. My dear, what you are feeling is infatuation”
I laughed. “Infatuation? I don’t think so mum”.

How could this thing I feel be infatuation? This feeling is much deeper than any fleeting thing. I really, really care for O, imperfections and all. I don’t even care that one of his front teeth is broken (he had a bad fall when he was kid). Trust me, I used care about such things,lol…

Anyway after a few arranging and rearranging in Bobo Nice’s place, we went to a nearby eatery for lunch and there he asked.
“ So Aphro, what is depressing you?” I didn’t wish to discuss it again cos I didn’t want to make him feel bad. You know, you love a girl and she is telling you how she is feeling heartbroken over another guy and all that. That should make anybody feel bad so I declined from discussing it. I just shrugged off his question with “Oh that! I was just in a funny mood then. Don’t worry, am over it now. Am not feeling depressed anymore”
He didn’t buy my explanation and kept insisting that I tell him what the problem was.
So I asked “What if it is about another guy? Would you still want to hear about it?” He said “Sure…of cos! I want to hear every little detail”.
So I told him every thing. I emptied my heart and poured out all my troubles and frustrations of the past days. At the end of it all. He said to me. “Aphro, I’ll tell you the truth. When a guy says to a girl that he wants to take things a day at a time, he isn’t sure he wants to commit yet and probably has other options he is considering. I am not saying this cos I want you but because it is the truth”

Bobo Nice’s response only served to re-enforce what I already knew. O isn’t ready for serious commitment and even though on his last visit he had said otherwise, I am still not convinced. Even his attitude these past days don’t depict a man in love.

Is it just me who thinks that he is sending mixed signals?

I just want to be over him, serious!

I know he’s got a lot of fans but you guys, just look at things objectively abeg…is he treating me right?

Do I trust him or not...

I know I have been AWOL. I’m so sorry for that peeps. It was due to unavoidable circumstances,lol…
However, am back now so you can please stop missing me ,lol…(I wish...right?)

So what’s been happening? Any interesting drama lately? Did I miss any birthdays, weddings, naming ceremonies?

I hope not!

As far as I know Oluwadee and Florida’s D day never reach unless them don go behind my back reschedule the date so that I no go fit chop wedding cake,lol…

So to the main Koko for today.

Na wa o…gist scarce sha. I no even know wetin to yarn una my fine people and I no want start to formulate gist(I know some people dey do am for this obodo blogville,lol…)

Anyway make I just dey yarn dey go. Gist must flow abi….?

First of all, I have a crazy midnite stalker o!

I have complained on this blog sometime ago that someone was always flashing me in the wee hours of the morning. Then I suspected K but now am not sure anymore o…If it is really K, then the guy must be in dire need of a psychiatrist counseling abi how else will you explain someone who stays up at night when im mates dey sleep just to be flashing another person’s child with unknown number. Sometimes the idiot really calls and when he/she finally succeeds in ruining my beauty sleep, they refuse to speak, Sometimes I can actually hear the ewu mmee breathing sef….Shiou!!!
Last night the jobless mofo called again and when I answered the phone and he/she did the annoying silence thingy. I simply said “Who is this stupid freak that calls people at night without talking?” I knew the idiot could hear me so he/she probably got the message. Rubbish concobility!

Abeg make I give una better gist jare…

O and I almost broke up last weekend o…

Wetin happen?

Na me find trouble sha…as inyanga dey sleep jejely and i no let am rest,lol…

But somehow sha am kinda glad I did…

So O came around last Sunday to visit and we hung out at one isi-ewu joint like dat. After enjoying a hot plate of nkwobi(I don’t know what its called in English abeg). We sha left the joint and headed back home. Got home and me I felt like not leaving him so quickly so we chilled in the car listening to some cool jams on the stereo.

Okay so he just bought this cute blackberry phone and am like let me admire your phone jare, you know see the functions and all. You know as man pikin no get blackberry, I can still admire abi?lol…

So I was admiring phone o and pressing keys o when I now stumbled on Message Inbox. The temptation to click was just too much abeg. I resisted o, really I did but the flesh was weak,lol…

So I clicked and the first message I see just cause katakata for my brain

“Am sorry baby, please we are in the house of God, let’s not quarrel, I love you”

Jesus!

I glanced to look at O. His head was flung back against the chair head-rest and his eyes were closed. He was obviously into the music blaring from the speakers and was oblivious to what I was doing.

So I continued, albeit stylishly sha before them catch me now,lol…

I checked the date on the text.

It read 12-7-08.
That day was 13th so 12th was the previous day.

But I was with him the whole of yesterday I thought. Then I remembered he didn’t come to pick me up for our date till afternoon. He had told me he had some office duties to attend to that morning so he would be coming late to see me.

Hmmm…so na where this man come go? I wondered. And who be dis opeke wey dey send am text dey say I love you blab la bla…

I stylishly perused the next text messages while glancing at him occasionally to make sure he didn’t suspect what I was doing.

I saw another one o…

“I waited for you so we could get his present together but since you didn’t show up, I had to go on…”

And another one…

“I sent some money to mum and told her it was from you. She was very happy”

By this time, my eyes were seeing reeeeeeeeeeddddd!!!!
I couldn’t believe what I was seeing at all.
Who was this babe and what was between her and O?!!

I needed to find out.
I needed to read more but not illegitimately so I closed the messages and gave the phone back to O. He was singing the song playing on the stereo to me but no be dat one dey worry me by then. I was so disappointed!

Before I go on, I must admit that I am no saint myself. Afterall, you all know some of my kuru-kere moves with X abi? But even then, I have never hid the fact that I was having contact with X from O. O knew very well that X was making efforts to win me back. He also knew about K, B.G and others and knew very well that he was the only one I was dating and doing intimate stuff with. The others are just wannabe boyfriends!

So back to my gist.

I gave the phone back to X while thoughts on how he was going to give the phone back to me to read his text messages himself was going through my mind.

I can be a manipulator o…don’t try me,lol…

So I started talking about how open I have been with him in this relationship and how I wanted him to be open to me too. I asked him if there was any girl in his life who he has never told me about. He replied that except for his ex who was trying desperately to come back with him, there was no other girl and I was the only one. Then I asked if he was encouraging her in any way and he replied that he wasn’t. If anything, he was impressing it on her that he was in love with someone else now and they were over.

Then I went on to talk about how trust is very important for a relationship to work…about how I need to trust him and how he needs to trust me. He agreed with me. Then I said one way to establish the trust would be for us to exchange our handsets that very minute and go through each other’s message inbox. It would help us to know exactly what is going on in each other’s lives. I knew I had a lot of crazy text messages in my inbox. Messages professing love from X, K , B.G, Bobo nice and co…but I also knew they were just that-messages professing love, nothing more and I was ready for him to read them!

O was reluctant. He didn’t buy the idea at all but I was insistent. I told him that this was a test of our love and if he didn’t hand over his phone, I’ll know he has a lot of skeletons in his cupboard and I won’t be able to trust him again even if he gave me the phone at a later date. When he saw there was no getting out, he handed over his phone and collected mine but not before he said: “I don’t know why you insist on this but I have a feeling, this won’t end well” I smiled. I already knew it wouldn’t!

Meeen this post don over long o…but why do I know you guys will have my head if I stop here and post part two next week ,lol…

THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING!!!

LOL…am not going to try it before una go swear for me…

So continuing my gist

But I don tire na…una no dey tire for gist sef?lol...

Okay, okay…

So we exchanged phones. Now I had every right under the sky to read and peruse the texts as I liked. He had given it to me himself!

I opened his inbox and he opened mine.

We were both reading at the same time and exclaiming at the same time too.

Me: (Reading out loud)I love you! Who is this telling you I love you?

Him: Hmmm…that’s my ex. I told you she was coming on strong, didn’t I?

Him: (Reading out loud) Baby make me the happiest man on earth and I will love you forever…Aphrodite, who is this person and what does he mean by this?

Me: It’s K and he means he wants me to agree for him now…

On and on. We kept reading, asking questions and answering questions.

He had more questions to answer than me though.

There were lots of explanations he needed to make. For instance, where did he go Saturday morning? God’s house? Church? With who? Who was the girl who was apologizing? Who wanted to pick a card with him?

Questions, Questions , Questions. I needed answers.

He started explaining.

He was on his way to the office when a pastor friend who was a mutual friend of his and his ex called to remind him that that day was his birthday and he was having a special service and he(O) had to be there unless he(pastor) would not be happy with him. He had promised him that he would make it so he had to head there from the office, spent some time briefly before he came to see me. He and his ex almost had issues in the church when she was trying to give the impression that they were still an item which was why she was apologizing at a point.

I was disappointed and I told him so. How come he conveniently left out the fact that he had gone for a pastor’s birthday service with his ex when he came late to see me?

There were some other notable text messages from the same girl.

“Thanks for giving me the time of my life. I love you so very much”

I read this one and screamed: "TIME OF HER LIFE??? So you’re still going out with her? Where did you take her to that she is thanking you for giving her the time of her life?"

He was like, she was thanking him for the time they were together while they were still dating.

I dint know what to make of his response but i read on...

“I am talking to some agents for the house as per the specifications. It just pains me that after all these wahala, it’s another woman that will be enjoying it not me”

Okay for this one. I know O has been house hunting for a while now. He still stays at his family house since his dad is late and he is the first son but he wants his own place now even though his mum doesn’t want this.

But how come this girl is house hunting for him too? Which kain ex-friendship be this one now?

He explained sha that before they broke up. They were house hunting and talking to house agents together and that some of the agents still contact her thinking they are still together and all which was why she sent that text.

Anyhooo, to cut the long matter short.

I was so so pissed that I told him it was over between us and that he should get back with his ex since they were still so chummy and all(I no mean am o,lol…)

But then he pleaded and pleaded. He said she just seemed so helpless and miserable which was why he was trying to be nice with her. I insisted that he had to cut all ties with the girl if he wanted us to continue the relationship and he promised to do so.

I almost requested that he gave me the girl’s number so I could call her and ask her to stay away from my man just incase he wasn’t telling her the truth about the whole situation but then again, I decided against that. It was his mess to clean up, not mine.

So as at now, we are still together but i don't know whether i believe all he told me and if I say I trust him one hundred percent now, I'd be lying.

Na wa for man wahala jare!

Am out.