Depressed...

(Heavy sigh)Hmmph…

What do you do when the man you love so deeply doesn’t give a hoot about your feelings?

I know…

Forget him.

But why is it so hard to do?


What do you do when your every waking thought is just about this guy and he obviously isn’t sparing you any thought?

I know…

Let go and let him be.

But it just seems impossible.


What do you do when he doesn’t call, doesn’t pick up when you do, doesn’t call back and doesn’t even reply ur text messages?

I know…

Have some pride and don’t call too, he obviously doesn’t want to hear your voice which is why he hasn’t called.

But it’s taking all my will power restraining myself from calling him.


He says he cares…

But is this how to show it?

By giving me the cold shoulder?

Oh love! LOVE!!

I searched for you…

Found you…

But you don’t want to stay with me…

Don’t I deserve you?

Don’t I deserve to be happy and bask in the love of someone I desire?

If you leave me, Love…

I just might let you be and search no more.


PS: Sorry for the long silence. Just been too depressed to write anything that won’t be gloomy and I didn’t want to spread the sadness too.
I hope I can come back here soon to give you guys the real gist as usual.
Love you all.

INTRO

Hello everyone,
I finally do this! I mean start a blog. For the past one year I have been an invincible member of this very interesting world called blogville. By invincible I mean like I am an ardent reader of naija bloggers but havnt been able to summon the courage to start mine up till now.
Blogging is great really but I see that drama that builds up at times and I wonder if I am ready to be a part of it. If I have the courage to put up with haters(who I know will definitely be there). Nonetheless, I have began this blog and I sure hope I don’t attract too much drama with it. I am not blogging to make friends or to become popular or anything of that sort. This blog for me is to help me put down some of my experiences as a young lady in search of love. I thought that I needed to do this so that when eventually I find that which I seek(LOVE), I should be able to appreciate it berter. By ‘LOVE’, I hope you all understand that I mean the kind of love that exists between a man and a woman, you know the ‘EROS’ kind, right? Yea!

Before I go on, let me do a brief intro about myself. I am a beautiful(if I say so myself), young lady in my late twenties. The first daughter in a family of six. I work in a Public Relations firm in Nigeria. I am a very independent and amiable soul. What else? I guess this would do for now.

Why am I searching for love? Because I have been in love before and I know what a great feeling it is when two people are in love. I want to feel that way again in my life especially with someone who truly feels the same way as I do. I have been in love before like I said but always with the wrong people. Now I want to fall in love again but with the right person. A person who I will spend the rest of my life with.

I have never been short of male admires/toasters. In fact I believe I have more than is healthy for a normal girl. Like I said earlier too, I am very beautiful and I have got a body to die for too(which is really what most men want, isn’t it?). I hope I don’t sound vain cos really that is not the point. Its just that very few men can pass me without taking a second look or wanting to be friends and I find that most times I can’t really tell who wants to be with me because of LOVE or LUST!

Right now in my life. There are quite a number of guys begging me to let them into my life. Some claim that they would die if I don’t marry them but I find that I don’t really feel anything deep for anyone of them. I mean, they could like vanish from the earth’s surface and I wouldn’t care a hoot so obviously I am not in love with any of them. I am at a point where I am beginning to feel the pressure from family and friends to settle down with a man and start a family but I don’t think I should just marry any guy because he is there or because he is professing mad love for me. I believe that before I say the words “ I do”, it has to be for one reason-BECAUSE I LOVE AND I WANT TO SPEND MY LIFE WITH THE MAN INVOLVED!
So I search on….