Pain...

Guys...
My heart just broke as in literally shatter to pieces.
I thought it was already broken and I was trying to put the pieces back together...
I thought the worst was over and it could never get any more painful or worse...
But the pain I feel right now is even worse than the one I felt before.
The ache I feel in my heart is so real...
So real, I can almost touch it.

I didnt know he still had the power to hurt me like this.
Was it that somewhere in my heart, I still hoped...
or maybe somehow I still cared even when I told myself otherwise?

Why then did that little phrase I just saw on his FB page affect me so?
Why did I feel like the world was pulled off from under my feet when I read it?
I wont lie...
My eyes stung from trying to hold back the tears.
My heart beat increased from anxiety...

It was only a short phrase...
a short phrase on his FB page...
a short phrase that hurt me and broke my heart all over again...
A short phrase that said...
"In a relationship"

Of course, I didnt expect him to live a hermit's life.
I even suspected it was another woman all along...
but it still came as a shock(don't know why)

I confess
I secretly hoped...
Prayed...
That he was pining away...
missing me terribly...

Lol...
A silly wish, I know

But guys...

He used to profess undying love to me...

We made all those crazy plans for our future together...

Its only natural that I feel this way, right?

You know that part that hurts the most?

All through the months we dated, he never put it up there
on Facebook that he was in a relationship.

Maybe I should just take him off my FB friends list.

What do y'all feel?

:(

:( :(

Depressed...

(Heavy sigh)Hmmph…

What do you do when the man you love so deeply doesn’t give a hoot about your feelings?

I know…

Forget him.

But why is it so hard to do?


What do you do when your every waking thought is just about this guy and he obviously isn’t sparing you any thought?

I know…

Let go and let him be.

But it just seems impossible.


What do you do when he doesn’t call, doesn’t pick up when you do, doesn’t call back and doesn’t even reply ur text messages?

I know…

Have some pride and don’t call too, he obviously doesn’t want to hear your voice which is why he hasn’t called.

But it’s taking all my will power restraining myself from calling him.


He says he cares…

But is this how to show it?

By giving me the cold shoulder?

Oh love! LOVE!!

I searched for you…

Found you…

But you don’t want to stay with me…

Don’t I deserve you?

Don’t I deserve to be happy and bask in the love of someone I desire?

If you leave me, Love…

I just might let you be and search no more.


PS: Sorry for the long silence. Just been too depressed to write anything that won’t be gloomy and I didn’t want to spread the sadness too.
I hope I can come back here soon to give you guys the real gist as usual.
Love you all.

When you are in love…
You want to be with that person,
Talk to him all the time
Hear him say all the sweet nothings to you
Give all you got to make him happy
Cup his chin, plant your lips on his and kiss him till God’s kingdom comes (lol)
You want to wrap your arms around him in public and let the world know that he is yours.

I want to do all the above and more with O
So can I say am in love ?

Thing is, I get confused at times.

Like, am I really sure what I feel is Love?
Am I crazy about him cos of his height?
Or his huge biceps and the fact that he can lift me up effortlessly?
Or cos of his sweet shy smile?
Or the way he calls my name that makes my heart beat faster?

How do I know am not just infatuated?
And that this feeling I feel for him will not fade away soon?

How can I be sure he truly loves me?
And will never let me down…
leave me or break my heart?

Sometimes I wonder if he really cares.
If he sincerely means what his mouth professes.

I am scared cos I don’t want to end up heart broken.
So I hold on…
I hold on to a part of my heart
Not fully letting go
Vulnerability is not my style
I hate the feeling of helplessness I feel sometimes
The feeling that someone’s got a hold over your emotions
And can make you very happy
And extremely sad at the same time.

I think about him every idle moment
And can’t help but wonder if he thinks about me too
Or only does so when am around him
And when am not, does he conveniently leaves me out of his mind?

A girl needs some reassurance…
I need to be assured.

...............................................................................................................................................

APHRODITE'S SIX QUIRKY THINGS

I was tagged to do this post by uzezi, jarrai and simplegal.

I love to sleep especially when am depressed. Somehow things seem better when I wake up.

Unlike other people who probably take their bath before retiring for the night, I prefer to sleep than wake up in the middle of the night like 1am to take my bath before going back to bed for the second round of sleep

I collect odd things like nylon bags, empty tins, used bottles and other funny stuff. My mum thinks it’s crazy, maybe it is.

I am most comfortable in my underwear. When I come back home, the first thing I do is to undress. Nothing makes me happier than lounging in my panties and bra.

I love to think in the bathroom. When I have something very serious to figure out, I find it easier to do while bathing. Maybe the water pouring down my head helps me think more clearly

I love eating at odd times, like waking up in the middle of the night for some cereal or biscuits. I know its really bad and am trying to stop.’

That’s it…Six finally!

I tag anyone who wants to be tagged.