STUCK AT D STATION.

Had a depressing weekend.

Right from Saturday when Bobo Nice handed me that card...his traditional wedding card , I haven't been able to shake off this feeling....this feeling of being left behind.

Of cos, I smiled and gushed about how happy I was for him but deep down, I felt an ache.

Don't get me wrong, I never wanted to marry him and it's not like am regretting not saying yes to his proposal. NO.

Just that well...i just feel...I don't know how to explain this sad feeling!

To worsen things he told me he was travelling this weekend to attend the wedding of a mutual friend of ours.

It was't just the fact that I wasn't invited to the wedding that saddened me...

It just feels like the train has left me behind.

SANTA, I ONLY WANT ONE THING!

Okay...okay...I know it's not the best comeback post but pls bear with me people. Will be back soon hopefully.

Bobo Nice, O & Mr. Holland Update

How una dey my peeps?

Me I just dey bubble like champagne o!

Nice anon & Madam Verastic wanted to know about Bobo Nice & Mr. Holland so here's the update:

Bobo Nice & I are still cool though there hasnt been any talk of relationship much less marriage between us since last year when he sat me down and proposed for the umpteenth time.

Sadly, I turned him down. I felt really bad for him but there was nothing I could do. My head dey scatter for O dat time sef :).

I told him I was in love with someone else and couldnt be with him. He took it badly sha and since then stopped calling as frequently as before. I guess the bobo was trying to forget me so I helped him out by not bothering him too.

This year, we've seen a couple of times and spoken too tho like i said earlier, it hasnt been as frequent as before. His birthday was yesterday and I called to wish him a happy birthday. We used to celebrate our birthdays together since they are only a few days apart(mine is Sept 2nd so start getting ur pressies ready o...).

We usually have a birthday dinner or hang out at the beach or go see a movie and we would definitely exchange gifts. Well,this year, I wasnt expecting anything of the sort seeing as we haven't been very close of late so u can imagine my surprise when i asked him how he was celebrating and he replied " As usual now...i'll come by to see you this weekend so we'll plan it". I said fine, no wahala..

Anyway, he still thinks i'm still with O and I dont intend to correct that impression. Truth is, I still don't feel he is the man I want to spend my life with.(sorry Bobo Nice Fans)

Talking about O, the guy called me some weeks back o! Telling me how he misses me and wants us to be back together. Me thinks he isn't serious and just wants to find out if I still got the hots for him. He sent me this text a few days ago:

"I miss you, what wouldnt I do for one kiss....ok...ok...I know I ask for too much but at least a great, big, warm hug will do for starters"

Imagine the cheek!

Devil go solder im yansh!,lol...(pardon my french).

I no kuku reply the maga jare.

And to even show that he is still as inconsistent as ever, he hasn't even called since the last time. talk about a leopard never changing his spots.

Back to better people jare,

Mr. holland and I have been getting on quite well o. In fact since I decided to stop harassing the poor guy on the phone(I used to be very rude yet it didnt put him off), I have actually discovered that he has a good sense of humour as in he cracks me up a lot with the silly stuff he says at times.

He is actually coming into the country to see me in a two weeks time. Yes to see moi!

Okay I admit, I hoodwinked him into coming :)

He had told me that he planned his leave for December so he could spend Xmas in Naija. Well, yours sincerely told him that maybe he would also be attending my wedding when he came cos by Xmas, I may just be settling down.

Guess what, dude called me a couple of days later to say he was going to take week off work to come down to Naija to see me so come second week in September, I'm going to meet him.

According to him, once I see him, i'll never let him go. make we dey watch now...

So far, he has quite some pluses going for him.

I have totally pissed him off several times deliberately to see his reaction and yes he had gotten really angry and sometimes vented but always calls back to apologise and say "Lets talk about it" unlike some people I used to know :0

...and then, not forgetting that he has the ability to make me laugh too.

Oh and did I mention he is from my villa? That is sure to please my folks,lol...

No, I dont love him yet o, let's wait till he comes to see if the sparks will fly by then.

Got plenty to yarn but lets save some of the tory for later, aight?

Love u all...

Aphro

I dont see myself kissing him...na reason?

Hmmm…so I have been gone for a while. I am so sorry people. Had to make an emergency work-related trip but am back in Lasgidi now.
Princesa dearest, sorry I couldn’t make it to the SBR as promised. I hope I get to pick up my T-shirt really soon. Saw the pics, they were nice.
Nikki and Oluwadee, the vows have been exchanged now right? Wish you both a happy and blissful married life with the men you love. Very very soon we go join una, all the single babes/guys out there shout a big amen…AMEN!!!!

Ehen...So besides work, what has been happening to Aphrodite? That’s the question right?

Aphrodite has been good. Things with O have been pretty cool. Fineboyagbero sorry to disappoint you bro but it doesn’t look like I will come crying to you about O anytime soon if he keeps things up the way they are right now. He made me a promise to be more dedicated to our relationship. So far he has been trying sha. Giving me attention and all and you all know how much I crave attention,lol…

X is totally out of my life now. I hope.
Doll, bumight, Flo, am sure you are happy to hear this cos you guys have really been on my case to Fashi him totally.
How did I finally get rid of him? Well, I didn’t really do anything o…he kinda got rid of himself by himself,lol…
So the last time I saw him was the day after my birthday.
On my birthday he had sent me a text to wish me happy birthday. He couldn’t even call. He sent me a text! I got tons of text that day even old pals from school that I hadn’t heard from in years sent me a text! So what was the big deal? I didn’t expect just a text from him. I expected that he would have called at least even if he couldn’t send a card, gift or a cake after all he’s been claiming to love me abi?

Truth be told, he had visited me a few days before my birthday and brought up the Ghana trip issue. Remember I told you guys he had suggested taking me to Ghana for my birthday but I declined the offer. Going to Ghana with him would automatically mean that I had accepted him back cos we would have to share a room or something and you know now, something fit happen wey person no plan,lol…

Anyway so that day he came around before my birthday, he brought up the Ghana trip issue again and I declined again. Then he said fine, so how are we going to spend my birthday as in where do I want him to take me to here in Lagos. I was like I didn’t want to go anywhere. I just wanted a quiet birthday. No celebrations, nothing. He kept pressuring and I kept insisting I didn’t want to go anywhere. Finally he gave up.

But even though I had said I wanted a quiet birthday devoid of fanfare and all, does it stop him from sending a gift or cake now my people? That I didn’t want to celebrate didn’t mean I wasn’t going to accept gifts now. Anyway that was how he(X) didn’t even call on my birthday much less send a gift or try to see me. He merely sent a text.

So I still had a grouse with him when he walked into my office a day after my birthday smiling one kain big smile like dat. There was a half-cut cake on my table. Bobo Nice had sent it on my birthday and I had shared part of the cake amongst my colleagues in the office. X opened the cake box and exclaimed: “Hey! Cake…Nice!! So do we get a slice?”
I looked at him. The bobo no dey shame sef, he want chop cake when he no even fit call me wish me happy birthday. No be only cake he go chop, na KAKE! Looking him straight in the eye, I said: “So you want to eat the cake someone else sent? Which one did you bring along while coming abi you didn’t know my birthday was yesterday? Or you didn’t know that they use cake to celebrate birthdays?”
Harsh, I know. But I meant it to be.
The guy just stared at me speechless. He wasn’t expecting that from me.
After some moments, he replied: “But you don’t even know if I brought something for you and it is in the car” I was like “Okay so if it is in the car, go and bring it now…” He didn’t move an inch. I knew he hadn’t brought anything and was just trying to bluff.
Anyway, what I said to him touched him cos even when I offered him the cake, he refused to eat. Wetin be my own? Beg him to eat the cake? I no send anybody o!

He later explained that he felt hurt when I refused his proposal to take me out on my birthday and he assumed that I had plans to spend my birthday with someone else which was why he didn’t bother calling or coming around. He was right sha cos I did spend my birthday with O but then I still don't think that was enough reason for him not to at least call.

He stayed a while in my office and then left and since then I haven’t heard a word from him. He hasn’t called or dropped by. Me thinks he has finally advised himself. Good for him, if that’s the case. Yesterday as I was leaving for home in the evening, I saw him outside his office. I don’t know if he saw me and pretended not to but me I just did like I didn’t see him sha and went on my way.

So that is all on X for now.

On to Bobo Nice.
I told you guys he just got his own apartment abi? So last week he called me and begged that I help him get some stuff, you know house hold stuff and all that. He hasn’t got a girlfriend and couldn’t do it by him self. Being the good friend that I am now, I agreed to help him purchase the stuff so he sent the money across.
Last Saturday morning, I packed all the stuff I had bought down to his place. I was helping him set up his kitchen when his elder brother came in. We had met at the wedding of another brother of his some time back so he recognized me. We exchanged pleasantries and he went into the sitting room.
Later on while I was showing Bobo Nice how to operate some of the kitchen stuff, his brother joined us and was like I shouldn’t bother teaching Bobo Nice how to use the appliances, I should just pack my load and come and take my place in the house. We all laughed about it especially Bobo Nice. I wanted to say something like “No o…its not my place o cos Bobo Nice is not my boyfriend or husband” but I just decided to let things lie. From his comment tho, I could see that he (Bobo Nice’s brother) assumed that we were dating and to even worsen things, Bobo Nice kept calling me Baby in front of him. I didn’t know what he had told his bros about me but I made a mental note to discuss it with him later cos he was obviously giving the wrong impression. On impressions, it also occurred to me that anyone who walked in on us as I was busy arranging and setting up stuff in the house would automatically assume I was Bobo Nice’s girlfriend so maybe I was at fault too. Maybe I shouldnt have accepted to help him but it was too late to regret anyway.

I didn’t get to talk about it with him cos I had to leave in a hurry and he was with his brother. Later on that day, he sent me a text thanking me for the help and everything. In the text message he had also sent a recharge card pin number and asked that I credit my phone with it. It was more like a thank you gift. Also in the text message, he talked about how he would be the happiest man if only I would accept him as a life partner. I sent him a reply thanking him for the credit and I also said that as for marriage, I couldn’t consider it cos my heart is with someone else. His reply came shortly. He was finally accepting defeat but advised that I look well before leaping so I do not make a mistake.
I thanked him for the advise. Bobo Nice is a great guy. I do not doubt for a second that he would make a great husband but it’s just unfortunate that I don’t have feelings for him. Sometimes when we are together, I look at his lips and cannot imagine me kissing them. Don’t get me wrong, he doesn’t have ‘pomo’ lips or anything but I just don’t find them sexy. I love Kissing and I need to find the lips of the man am going to marry attractive, don’t you think so? LOL......

I have this aunt that thinks that am making a mistake by not accepting Bobo Nice as a husband. When she asked me what my reason for not wanting to marry him was and I replied “I don’t find his lips attractive”. She thought I was crazy,lol…according to her, there are important things to consider in marriage and the lips or dentition of guy doesn’t count as one. Her opinion sha. I still think, I need to be physically attracted to my man abeg. Like O for instance now, you won’t beg me to kiss him. I LOVE KISSING HIM!

Okay, so that’s it for Bobo Nice gist.

I have got work to get back to people. I know I have been slacking in visiting blogs, make una no vex, will try to remedy that.
See you around...Love you all plenty plenty!

Mixed Signals...

Hello People.
How was ur weekend. Hope it was blast. Mine was just there but hey, I can’t complain! Am alive and well this beautiful Monday and there is every reason to be grateful for that, abi?

Thanks for your kind and as usual, sincere comments on this blog. I appreciate you all.

Today what gist do I have for you? Plenty as usual…you know how it is now, lol…lots of you have already dubbed me ‘The girl with a drama-filled love life’. Anyway, I no argue at all. I know you guys are right. My love life reach to act Nollywood home movie sef,lol…

This morning on my way to work. I was just thinking about everything that has been happening of late and before I knew what was happening, the tears were welling up in my eyes. Why are things not working out the way I want them to? Since my adolescent years up until now, I have never lacked male attention. In fact I get more than my necessary due. Unfortunately, most times, the attraction is not mutual. I get guys that are fallin over themselves to get my attention but who I don’t feel an iota of attraction for. It is a really rare thing for me to find a man who I love. In all my years of relationships with the opposite sex, I have only being in love with a few but the thing about me is that when I actually fall in love with a person, I fall really hard but then again, I don’t believe in stupid love o…as in mumu blind love wey no dey see road. You go know say man no send you yet you go dey die put for there. God forbid bad thing abeg!
I have been very lucky that the few men I have loved have reciprocated equally or even more sef. Well that is until now…until O.

God knows I love this man(O) with all my heart. My mum called it infatuation(I’ll come to that in a minute) but it is really sad and painful that he doesn’t feel the same way. He may have feelings for me like he claims but the truth which I have come to realize is that the feelings he claims to have are not as strong or deep as the ones I have for him.

Abeg, lemme stop lamenting and take you guys through what has been happening in the past few days.

So it was last Thursday that O dropped in to see me at work. He said he was coming back later on but I didn’t see him after that day up until this moment. I tried to resist the urge to call him up to find out if all was well but then I couldn’t stop myself from sending him a text yesterday.

“Was thinking you would have called or tried to see me this weekend. Its times like this that makes me really wonder if you truly care. Happy Sunday anyway”

He sent a reply:
“Traveled out of town for a training. I am actually in transit now. Miss you much…”

Hmmm…na wa o…I didn’t buy that excuse cos even if he had to travel, he should had mentioned it that day he came around, or even called to tell me. Everywhere in Naija has GSM network now even my remote little village so he can't say he doesn't have network wherever he is. I mean, he replied my text so what stops him from calling?

My prayer this morning was “Dear God please help me forget this guy. He is causing me too much heartache abeg…”

Other gists…

Saturday morning, I woke up very depressed. It was almost like I didn’t want to wake up if it wasn’t to O’s phone call so I just laid in bed feeling sorry for myself(yea, even I feel ashamed of myself,lol…). Finally I decided to send a text to Bobo Nice. I had recently told him about my feelings for O so I was sure he wouldn’t hassle or stress me with pleas to consider him like either B.G or K would. So I texted him: “Am bored and depressed. Don’t wanna stay home all day feeling sorry for myself. Would love to hang out. Are you free?”
In a few minutes, his call came. He was very worried about me and wanted to know why I was depressed but I told him it wasn’t stuff we could talk about over the phone and that I’d tell him when we see. He informed me that he had just gotten a new apartment and was heading over there to set things up so I offered to come help him set up and after we were through, we could hang out somewhere and talk over drinks. He liked the idea so as soon as we ended the call, I got out of bed and went to get ready to head over to his new place.

Later on, dressed up and on my way out of the house, my mum asked me where I was going to and I told her. She knew Bobo nice cos he had come to the house a couple of times and even called her on her birthday. So she asked “Hmmm…so it’s Bobo Nice now?” I knew exactly what she meant and I replied “Noooo! Mummy, Bobo Nice is just a friend now…you know that. although he wants something more but I don’t love him like that. He is almost like a brother to me”.
She said “But he is a good boy and he is very God fearing” I rolled my eyes “Mummy! I don’t love him like that!!” She laughed and joked in Ibo “My child, whoever did this to you it will not work for him/her o!” lol…I burst out laughing and said “It will not work o!” My mum like many other mothers is concerned and wants her first daughter to get married and since it isn’t as if there is a drought of suitors, she doesn’t understand why it is taking me so long to make a decision. I don’t blame her at all, even me, I don’t even understand myself,lol…

Anyway, she went on “So who is the person you love? The Edo boy?” I nodded.
She said, “You have known Bobo Nice for four years now, yet you don’t love him and this one you just met six months ago, you love him. My dear, what you are feeling is infatuation”
I laughed. “Infatuation? I don’t think so mum”.

How could this thing I feel be infatuation? This feeling is much deeper than any fleeting thing. I really, really care for O, imperfections and all. I don’t even care that one of his front teeth is broken (he had a bad fall when he was kid). Trust me, I used care about such things,lol…

Anyway after a few arranging and rearranging in Bobo Nice’s place, we went to a nearby eatery for lunch and there he asked.
“ So Aphro, what is depressing you?” I didn’t wish to discuss it again cos I didn’t want to make him feel bad. You know, you love a girl and she is telling you how she is feeling heartbroken over another guy and all that. That should make anybody feel bad so I declined from discussing it. I just shrugged off his question with “Oh that! I was just in a funny mood then. Don’t worry, am over it now. Am not feeling depressed anymore”
He didn’t buy my explanation and kept insisting that I tell him what the problem was.
So I asked “What if it is about another guy? Would you still want to hear about it?” He said “Sure…of cos! I want to hear every little detail”.
So I told him every thing. I emptied my heart and poured out all my troubles and frustrations of the past days. At the end of it all. He said to me. “Aphro, I’ll tell you the truth. When a guy says to a girl that he wants to take things a day at a time, he isn’t sure he wants to commit yet and probably has other options he is considering. I am not saying this cos I want you but because it is the truth”

Bobo Nice’s response only served to re-enforce what I already knew. O isn’t ready for serious commitment and even though on his last visit he had said otherwise, I am still not convinced. Even his attitude these past days don’t depict a man in love.

Is it just me who thinks that he is sending mixed signals?

I just want to be over him, serious!

I know he’s got a lot of fans but you guys, just look at things objectively abeg…is he treating me right?

STATUS REPORT

Woah! It’s been a while o. How una dey? I deliberately avoided blogville these past few days cos a lot has been on my desk and y’all know how distracting this place can be. Once you click, you can’t stop,lol…

I have been well o. Never knew I had so much emotional strength in me. Been holding on, even tho I must admit it’s been very tough for me. I havn’t called O since our last encounter. He called once tho, I think on Saturday morning. He didn’t say anything new anyway. Talked about how he loved me but needs to put certain things in place first(things like getting his place o) before talking about marriage. I told him that I understood very well that he wasn’t psychologically ready for marriage. He said No, that it was more like physically ready not psychologically ready. Anyway after that brief conversation over the phone, he hasn’t called again till now and today is what? Wednesday! He sent a text yesterday evening tho :“To say I miss you is a huge understatement. This has been one of the most difficult periods for me, being away from you. I believe things will still work out for us”
Na wa for this guy o. His actions does not convey what he is saying. Na im sabi joo! I don’t intend to reply him anyway but if I say that my feelings for him are dead then I would be lying. I don’t know if I’ll be able to be all mean and cold if I see him face to face,lol…



So on to other tory…

I may just have chased X away for good o…

Okay, thing is that I have been a bit blue of late cos of O’s issues and all and somehow too, I have also been venting my frustrations on X. Not that I have said anything o but my actions have said it all.


X’s mum has been in his place for close to two months now. She came visiting from the East. X actually informed me the day she arrived that his mum was round and that he would love for me to visit and meet her cos she has been asking of me and all(yea, he’s told her about me. His popsie is late). I agreed that I was going to come see her but truth is I never had plans to. I just didn’t want to argue with him but two months down the line and she preparing to leave back to the east. The pressure from X to see her mounted.

Last week, X had told me that she was leaving on Sunday(last Sunday) and I promised to come by on Saturday. Friday evening he called to confirm if I was still coming the next day. I was in a foul mood(mourning my relationship with O) and wasn’t in the mood to see X so I lied that I was going to the market to shop for the house and I wouldn’t be able to make it. Maybe at a corner of my mind, was the hope that O would call and ask that we see that Saturday and talk things over so I wanted to leave the day free for him. Maybe, I said o!lol…

Anyway, I didn’t go to see X’s mum and she left. Monday evening, when he closed for the day, X dropped into my office. I must confess again, I was a bit cold towards him. He sat for a while and when he saw I wasn’t talking to him. He got up and said he was leaving. I just nodded my head, like I didn’t care. Since that Monday, he hasn’t called or dropped by again. Not sure I miss him tho but I definitely miss the attention ;)



Ehen, I told you guys, I talked to Bobo Nice abi?
That was like two weeks ago.

So I had called Bobo Nice like a week before that day, after I received that call from SL(Strange lady). I was really upset with him for giving her my number to call and plead with me to marry him. He was shocked when he learnt that she had called me cos according to him he didn’t give her my number or ask her to call. What happened was that, she had visited him and was going through his phone when she saw my name and asked him who I was. He had told her about me. How he loved me but I wasn’t reciprocating and all. She told him that she could call and talk to me for him but he said he didn’t want that cos he knew I wouldn’t like it. He didn’t know she copied my number all the same and called.
I believed him sha. Bobo nice wasn’t the type to lie about something like that but when he said he was going to call S.L and berate her for what she did. I told him not to and that he should just it go cos I felt she did what she did in good spirit and felt she was being a good friend. He finally agreed to forget about it after which I told him that we needed to sit down and talk about the issue. He said okay and we agreed to meet the following weekend.

That Saturday, we met up at a pizza place and in between munching pizza and coke. I told him about O and how I felt about him. He already knew about X and he knew also when we broke up but I told him that X was staging a comeback and that I was considering him since things may not work out with O cos of his tribe and my folks. He felt really bad cos I wasn’t even considering him but I told him that I loved him as a friend and I didn’t have any romantic feelings towards him. I encouraged him to give other girls a chance and see where it leads to. We talked for very long o! At the end of it all sha, when we hugged and said our goodbyes, I felt kinda relieved and even though I knew he had been hurt, I was sure he realized It was all for the best. We promised to keep in touch with each other and agreed that nothing stopped us from hanging out once in a while.

So that’s the latest with Bobo nice.



Then B.G…

Kai! I have never met a more unrelenting guy in my whole entire life, I swear.
Even though I broke up with him when I started seeing O. He has never stopped hoping that we would still come back together.
These days, he sends me text messages at least four times a day. One in the morning asking how my night was. One in the afternoon, asking how my day is going, another one late evening asking if I got home okay. Then one last one at night, wishing me a good night’s rest. Besides, he still calls at least once in the day just to hear my voice, he says,lol…Na wa for this thing called love o! Why can’t one love a person that loves him/her equally? Things would be lots easier that way or don’t you guys think so?

Then again recently, B.G seems to have gotten it into his head that somehow he was responsible for our break-up. I have tried to reassure him several times that he wasn’t the cause. I met somebody else, fell in love and that was it! Although when I think about it more deeply, it was probably something that I found lacking in B.G and which O had that attracted me to him in the first place.

For instance, I like my man to dress sharp and smell nice. B.G is kinda like a sloppy dresser. When I met him, he was much worse but I tried to get him to pay more attention to his looks. I must give it to him that he tried to change a bit but then he still didn’t get to the level I wanted. I so hate a man wearing torn, ‘It was white’ singlets and jeans with dirty hems that looked like they hadn’t been washed in ages. B.G was like that. O on the other hand sure knows how to pull it off. Even when he is dressed in a Tee and jeans, he still looks & smells edible,lol…same goes for X too. He is also a good dresser.


Then again, just before i broke up with B.G, I had reason to travel to his place(as in his villa) cos of his mum's burial. Meen, what i saw enhhh! I didn't like at all. The way they lived in their place. One compound with a lot of extended families. To me, that is the perfect recipe for plenty wahala cos one doesn't even have his/her own privacy. My mother's father's compound was like that and i know all the troubles and diabolical activities that went down before my grandpa had to ask his brother's and their families to find their squareroot,lol...

I talked to B.G about it and his response sealed my mind for me. He didn't see anything bad with it. In fact he even preferred the whole 'Communal living' style. Na so i pack my kaya, pick race,lol...


So on that note, maybe somehow he (B.G) was partly responsible for me breaking up with him. Now he is begging me to give him another chance, I am very reluctant cos you all know what they say about adults. “It is hard to learn how to use the left hand when you are grown up”. That's an Ibo adage which means that it is hard to change an adult cost they are already set in their ways so it’s either I accept B.G the way he is or forget about him totally cos trying to change him may not be possible.

I know I promised to yarn about doctor but pls guys, lets leave that for the next post. I am trying to make my posts short these days, lol…as if this one never long pass river Nile sef.

Am out abeg, we go dey see for yonder…

The talk.

I didn’t wait too long before O calls to say he was outside my house. I quickly freshen up and rush outside to meet him. We walk to our usual spot at the end of my close. No one is around cos it’s late and everyone is in the comfort of their homes so we have all the privacy we need.
I have this serious look on my face which he notices and tries to get me to loosen up. “Ha, aphro why the strong face now? Looosen up now…oya give me a smile, smileee now…”
I try to smile but I know it isn’t convincing cos the smile feels fake even to me. He shrugs and goes “Okay so what is this thing we need to talk about”.

I can’t recount what I said to him word for word but I can summarize it.
So I tell him how I feel he hasn’t been showing enough commitment in our relationship cos If I don’t call, he won’t call. How I feel I am the one trying to make the relationship work. How I need to know what exactly he has in mind for the relationship cos it’s been since months now and I believe a six months old baby has started crawling at least and taking solid foods so we need to establish a course for our relationship. How I felt by now he should know if I was the kind of woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with and vice versa. I also tell him about my discussion with my mum and her reaction but that I needed to know what he was thinking before starting an unnecessary war with my folks.

After talking for a while, I stop and look at him to see if he is getting the message. He looks at me amused then says “Go on now, am listening…”
I reply “But I just said a lot now and I want you to respond to all I said”
Then he chuckles quietly, adjusts himself properly on the pavement floor where we are seated and speaks.
“Aphro, you know how I feel about you. You know my people love you already. My mum and brothers havn’t met you but they are always asking about you. My sister likes you…”
I cut in “That is not what am asking you. This is not about ur family but about you and me. What do you really want? I need to know”
“Aphro, I love you and I will love to marry you. How can I not want that? You are a great person and I can wake up to your face everyday for the rest of my life but I am scared. I'm scared your parents will not accept me. Look at what you just said about your mum’s reaction. I have always wanted to marry into a family that accepts and loves me and I don’t want to be a problem for you and your family. I don’t want you to hate me later on in life for putting you against your parents”
My head is bent down and I am quietly listening to him but my mind is working seriously.
He goes on.
“What happens if I come to ask for your hand and they reject me? What happens then aphro?”
I look up at him. The sadness in my heart threatening to break out as tears from my eyes but I steel myself before I begin to talk.
“I have heard all you said. Whether they accept you or not doesn’t arise now. The main issue should be is this what you and I want? If we are both sure that we want to be together then facing my parents is the next step. I am not thinking of the problems I may encounter in your family. Am not worrying If they will accept me or not or if they will change their attitude towards me later. You are not ibo but am not thinking whether I will be able to adjust to your culture or not. All that are secondary issues. The main issue is Do I want to be with this man for the rest of my life? Anyway my interpretation of all you just said to me is that you are not ready for marriage and you are just trying to use my parents as an excuse. It is okay. The last thing I will do is to marry a man who doesn’t want it as much as I do. I should have talked to you first before bringing it up with my mum. Maybe it wouldn’t have been necessary to tell her about you in the first place”

At this point, he tries to pull me into his arms as he speaks
“Aphro, is that your own interpretation of what I said? It is not true at all. Am not trying to use your parents as an excuse. All am saying is the truth. I know how you feel about me. Infact if I was in doubt before, your actions today and what you just said now has just dispelled that. You say you shouldn’t have discussed me with your mum today but I think it is a good thing. I am happy that you did. I just know that there will be problems. Your parents will see me as an intruder which I don’t want…”

I cut in.
“You know what? I am not convinced you love me enough. I will tell you something. The guy I broke up with when I met you, B.G. He wanted to marry me but I wasn’t sure I wanted that and anytime he brought up the issue, I always told him that my parents won't accept him cos he wasn’t catholic and he is not from my place. Do you know what he would say? He would say to me “Aphro, forget about ur parents. If you love and accept me, your parents will have no choice but to accept me. That is a man in love. O, that is a man in love!”

I stop at this point. There is a palpable silence. I glance sideways at him and he looks really quiet and deep in thought. I know that what I just said has touched a raw nerve. Maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned B.G. I know how men hate to be compared with other men and O really hates it. Anyway, I needed to stress my point and that was the best way I could do it. It may have been a wrong way but I have done it. All there was to do now was to wait for him to speak. It was a long wait but he finally did when I started sobbing silently.

“*Clearing his throat* I have heard all you said Aphro. You know I hate been compared with anybody but it’s okay. I have heard you. Maybe I was seeing things differently from the way you are seeing it. You are upset now so i don’t want us to continue this. I need to digest everything that has gone down here and you need to calm down too so maybe we should just stop talking about this now okay?”

By now, am sobbing even harder but I respond still.
“I have always dreamt that when i would get married, it would be a romantic marriage proposal where my man would go down on his knees and ask me to marry him and I would jump on him and say yes. This is not how I wanted it. I shouldn’t be the one asking you if you want to spend your life with me or not..."

He stands up and pulls me up into his arms. I hug him tightly and look up at him with tear filled eyes still speaking.
“I understand if you want to think about it... It’s okay…”
“No, It’s not that. I don’t need to think about it…I just think that emotions are high now. I love you baby, I do even if you do not believe it…”
Wiping my eyes, I glance at the clock on my mobile phone.
“You need to start going now. It’s getting really late”

We walk back towards the house in silence. At the front of my house, we stare at each other. I don’t know if he expects a good night kiss. I want to kiss him but I know the mood is not right so I turn away and walk into my gate. He also gets into his car and drives off.

That was Tuesday night.

Wednesday all day, I expected his call but he never called. Got a text from him as I was preparing to leave for home in the evening. It read-

“I have not been myself since our talk last night. I don’t wanna lose you, the mere thot of it renders me clueless as to how life would be without you-unbearable”

I didn’t reply it though...didn’t know what to say.

I am typing this post on Friday morning and till this moment he hasn’t called or sent another text. I have decided to let him be. It is hard but I won’t call or text either. Let him take all the time he needs. Marriage is an important step; I do not expect him to take it if he isn’t ready.

Just that he may not find me willing when he finally decides to.

There is still plenty gist o. I haven't told you guys I talked with Bobo Nice. Then there is B.G too who of late has been sending sweet text messages to me asking that I have a rethink about us. Aha! There is Doctor too. I have never blogged about him before. He is currently in the UK doing a course but will be back in the country sooon.

So guys, keep a date next week for more tory(Una like gist well well o,lol...)

Great weekend everyone.

FUNNY PHONE CALL AND OTHER GISTS

Something funny happened Sunday night. I got a call from some strange lady. I’ll just take you through our phone exchange. Let’s call the strange lady S.L

Me: Hello…
S.L: Hello, am I speaking to Aphrodite?
Me: Yea…who is this?
S.L: My name is S.L. Bobo Nice’s friend.
You guys know Bobo Nice now. My friend I met during NYSC that has always wanted something more but who I don’t feel any attraction for. Remember now?
Me: Oh…okay…
S.L: Bobo Nice has been my friend since our uni days and I went to visit him today and saw your pictures in his album. I fell in love with you instantly and asked who the fine babe was and he told me all about you. How much he loved you and everything…
At this point am suspecting where the conversation is headed so I chuckle.
Me: Hmmm,hmmm...
S.L: Please I just want to ask you a favour…
Me: Okay…
S.L: Please marry Bobo Nice. He is a very good guy and he is madly in love with you. He doesn’t know how else to prove his feelings to you so he poured out his feelings to me today so am begging you, please marry him. I am married and six months pregnant, I beg you with the baby in my womb please accept him, you will never regret it.
At this point I burst into laughter. Begging me with the baby in her womb ke? This na serious matter sha.
Me: Ha ha ha…did Bobo Nice put you up to this?
S.L: Noooo! He didn’t but I had to call you because he told me how he felt about you and he really wants to marry you, moreover I told you I loved you the moment I saw your picture. Please my dear, pleaseeeeeeee you won't regret it…
Me: You know what, am actually somewhere now so can you call me back later when it will be conducive for us to talk.
I was actually outside my house gisting with my neighbour.
S.L: Okay I‘ll call you later then. Bye.
Me: Bye.

Thinking about that call later. I felt sorry for poor Bobo Nice. I didn’t need anyone to tell me he was a good guy and all afterall we’ve been friends like 4 years now. Unfortunately, he was in love with me but I wasn’t with him. Why is life so complicated, I mean why can’t a person love the person that loves him/her equally? Why would Mr.A be in love with Miss B who in turn will be in love with Mr. C. It’s not just fair! It is only very few lucky ones that find a partner who they love and who reciprocates equally. I guess one can only pray to get lucky in love.

See now, Bobo Nice, K, B.G, X are all in love with me and wish to marry me but stupid me, instead of reciprocating the love to one of them, am following one coconut head(O of course!) who sometimes I wonder If he really feels for me the same way I feel for him. Na wa for this life o!
Anyway am waiting for S.L to call again and I’ll politely tell her that I am in a relationship with a guy I really like(Please note I said like not love cos recently I have been trying to re-evaluate what it is I really feel for O. Not sure yet if it is love, I may just be infatuated,lol…) and that Bobo Nice is simply my friend and nothing more. Marrying him doesn’t come up at all!

Ehen! Something else happened last week that I wanted to blog about but didn’t have time to do so. I guess I can blog about it now abi?

I was in my office jejely facing my work when O came in unannounced (that reminds me, I need to have a word with the office receptionist about this. She doesn’t even inform me when he comes these days. She just lets him right in. Even if he was my husband sef, I still think it’s not right for her to usher him in without my notice). So he came with his elder sister and guess what! Concidentally, we’ve met before(I and his sister). My company did some business with her some time ago. You see, this world is a really small place. Thank God we had a cordial contact then. What if we had some issues then and now she turns out to be my boyfie’s sister? E for hard o,lol…

Anyway, it was a pleasant surprise. He had told her about me and she said she knew me, so he brought her to my office. His sister is married to an Ibo man. I remember the first time we met, I had thought she was Ibo cos she really looks like a typical Ibo woman and speaks the language. I was surprised when she told me she was from Edo. O speaks and understands Ibo too although that should be expected since their mum is Ibo.

They didn’t stay long cos O had to get back to his office. When they were about leaving, I got up to see them off to the car. As we strolled to the car, guess who I saw in the premises? X! Remember he works just opposite my office. I think he came to do some stuff in my office premises or maybe he was actually coming to see me. I stopped briefly to greet him with a formal handshake. I could see O was giving me an inquiring look. O knew about X and that he worked opposite my office but he hadn’t met him before. X also knew about O but he also hadn’t met him in person. They gave each other some funny look, me I quickly greeted X and walked on ahead with O and his sister.

As they made to enter the car, O pulled me aside and asked: “Who was that guy you greeted?” I turned to look in the direction of X and he was staring at us. I quickly turned back to O and told him “We’ll talk about that later, your sister is waiting”. So he got into the car and I walked back towards my office. I sensed that he was watching me to see if I’d go back to meet X so I didn’t even stop when I passed by X. I just moved straight ahead into my office.

A few minutes later, O’s call came in. I was expecting it so I smiled when he asked
“Aphrodite, who was that guy?”
I replied “You know him now…”
“Know him? How?”
“Okay he is my X, the one I told you about”
“Your X. When will they leave you for me enh baby?”
“You don’t have to worry about him, he is not a threat at all”
“Are you sure?”
“Yea I am”
Na so that one come take end sha.

Later X dropped in. I expected him to ask about O and his sister but surprisingly he didn’t even say a word about them or even mention how I treated him as in just walking into my office without looking at his side. I guess he wanted to be matured about things cos it was really obvious that there was some thing up between me and the guy I saw off.

I have to admit that is one good thing about X. he doesn’t pry too much especially if he feels that he may not like the answer he’ll get. If it was O enh…wahala for dey that day,lol…

I didn’t see O all through last weekend. It was end of the month and as usual he had to work weekends. Na wa for that their bank o. I have friends who are bankers and who do not have to go to work on weekends even at the end of the month but not O’s bank. They must all work weekends at the end of the month especially those in O’s department (Operations).
Its annoying me cos its only weekends that we get to see and one demanding job like that will now be coming between us. Hiss!

Anyway, I think I have overyarned as it is. I planned to make this post as short as possible so nikkisab wont have to go on break this time,lol…

Take care y’all and have a lovely week.

I’ll try to drop by your blogs.

xxx kisses xxx

No more pushing things abeg!

One whole week since I last posted, phew! Am sure you guys can’t wait to hear the latest happenings in my love life. I can’t wait to spill the gist too but before I start, I’ll like to thank everyone who dropped a comment on my last post. Am so grateful to you all. It’s a wonderful feeling knowing there are people out there- people you have never met before who care as much as to give advice, a listening ear or a warm hug(even if its virtual). You guys are super cool.

Okay to my today’s gist.

You all know how I was confused last week cos it was like I was stuck in the middle of O and X and I had to make a decision on who to be with. Two bloggers comments on my last post gave me an insight as to how to progress with my situation. One was soupasexys’ where she advised me to just let things flow, play the two guys and see who makes it in the end. The other was naijachickito who felt that it wasn’t a do/die affair and I needed to take things easy and focus on being myself and have fun cos i may not end up with either guy at the end of the day.

I decided that I was going to just let things be. No pushing things. No worrying if O really loves me or not. No answers for X yet but I won't push him away like I was doing initially. I’ll just wait things out at least until am sure it was time to make a move.

So I chilled. I didn’t call any of them, neither O nor X. I just chilled and found other stuffs to amuse myself with. Even when the weekend came, I didn’t call O to find out if we were hooking up. I felt like if he wanted to see me, he would initiate the move, ask me for a date and all.
He called me on Saturday morning to say his bank was having some training that day and though he would have loved to spend the day with me, he couldn’t. Surprisingly, I took it calmly. I told myself not to feel bad and I called a couple of friends and we arranged to hang out on the island.

Thankfully, X didn’t call. I had promised to give him the answer to his question on Saturday and since I didn’t have any answer for him, my plan was to avoid him all weekend.

Sunday came, still no word from O as to whether we were seeing or something. I didn’t call either. Later on, in the afternoon he sent me a text saying how special I was to him and all that lovey dovey ish. Me I was getting fed up with his talk talk and no action so I just read the text and didn’t bother to reply it.

The rest of Sunday looked boring for me until I remembered Bobo Nice. He had called me during the last week to ask that we hang out during the weekend and I had promised to call him if I was free.

A brief background on Bobo Nice.

I met Bobo Nice in camp four years ago during my NYSC and since then we’ve been good friends. We hang out once in a while and he has never hidden the fact that he wants more than friendship with me. When we first met I was in a relationship so dating him was out of the question. A year later, I broke up with the guy I was dating then and Bobo Nice cashed into the opportunity to ask me for a more intimate relationship. I said No because I couldn’t imagine having a love relationship with him. He was my friend and that was it. I told him how I felt then and I thought he understood where I was coming from but last year, after one of our dates, he had told me how he loved me so much and how he wanted to settle down and had prayed about it and how he believed I was the woman for him and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and have me bear his kids.

Meeen, I was speechless. I didn’t know what to say. He asked that I think about it and he didn’t want me to give him an answer immediately so I promised that I would but sincerely my peeps, I have thought about it a lot and though Bobo Nice is a great guy, very reserved and God fearing, not into women(he had confessed to me that for three years now, he hadn’t been with a woman not because he didn’t have urges but because he had promised God that the next woman he would be with would be his wife), he has a great job and a promising career. The truth remains that I am not sexually attracted to him. Don’t get me wrong, am not a sex freak but I believe that I need to sexually desire a man I intend to marry, correct me if am wrong abeg my friends but that’s how I feel.

Bobo Nice is not bad looking, infact some people may even call him handsome but when I look at him, I can’t picture myself in his arms or kissing him or making love to him. I just see him as my friend and nothing more. My heart doesn’t do a flip when he looks at me like it does for O. Anyway, I think that’s enough background on Bobo Nice already.

So that Sunday afternoon, I called Bobo Nice. I needed to get my mind off O and try to have fun. Fortunately, Bobo Nice was in my area so we met up at a bar for some drinks. The music at the bar was nice and I had fun. It was a welcome distraction for me and I enjoyed myself.

Later as I was saying goodnight to Bobo Nice. He brought up the marriage issue again and told me that he had been praying about it seriously and it was revealed to him in a dream that there were three men who were strong contenders in my mind and I was confused as to who to choose among them. I told him that his dream was wrong cos they were more than 3 guys asking for my hand in marriage. He insisted that they may be more than 3 but the dream revealed that three of them were at the forefront. If I tell you guys, I wasn’t shocked, I’d be lying but I tried to cover up my shock and laughed at his dream. When he left, I thought more about what he had told me. Who were these 3 guys? There was O, X, K, B.G and Bobo Nice. Now that was 5 abi? Anyway dreams can be funny at times

Later, Sunday night O called to apologise for not seeing me all weekend. He said he had to go to the office too on Sunday. I told him I was getting used to his excuses now and it didn’t bother me too much anymore. He kept apologizing and said he had a surprise for me-something I would love very much. I wasn’t excited at all and i just told him, I’ll wait and see what it was.

Monday afternoon, X showed up in my office. He had been out of Lagos on an official assignment and just returned which was why i didnt hear from him all weekend.
He asked me out to lunch and I accepted. I was dreading the moment when he would ask me for an answer to his last week question but thank God, he didn’t even bring up the subject. We had a pleasant lunch and later in the evening after close of work, he dropped me off at home. As I was getting out of his car, he made to kiss me on the lips but I turned my cheek. Men! They don’t waste any time. For now, a peck is as far as I’ll let him go.

There, that’s a recap of all that’s been happening. I’ll be back with some more gists soon. Feel free to leave your comments without bias. I love reading them.

Toodles,

Aphrodite.

Why cant we stop arguing?

Hey peeps!
Whassup?
I know I have been MIA for a while now. Its just that there hasn’t been anything much to blog about. I have been keeping things on the low for a while coupled with the fact that yours truly was down with the most common illness in Naija-Malaria!

I am getting better now, although not fully recovered but it is well, No fear.

Things with O are okay except for the fact that it’s like recently we are almost arguing over everything…even the silliest things. I guess as emotions get more involved even the littlest things begin to seem important. Like for instance, he drops me off after a date and I fail to call him later to find out if he got home safe and he takes offence or I tell him I don’t feel well and I expect that he’ll come down to my office to find out how am doing but he says he’s very busy and cant make it to see me, then I take offence.

You know, silly things really but we now start arguing and next thing we are angry, we end the conversation(usually on the phone) and the rest of the day is spoilt for me. Anytime we have our tiffs, am always miserable and he says it’s the same for him too. Why can’t we just stop these fights then? It beats me. One minute we are apologizing to each other and promising not to make each other mad again and the next we are back to arguing again. I admit i am spoilt when it comes to relationships. I have always been in relationships where I am doted on and pampered but O doesn’t really do all those doting and pampering sturves which gets me all sulky and moody.

Maybe like uzezi and oluwadee said, its better to be with a man who loves you more than you do him but then again I want to also be crazily in love with my man. I guess being in love goes hand in hand with the heart aches too. Maybe I just have to get used to it.

As I type this post, O and I are not talking and its killing me. I want to call him and hear his voice but then again I want him to call me first and apologize for making me sad. Why is love so complicated, why?

To other matters,
I haven’t seen B.G since the last time but we still communicate over the phone. He seems to have gotten over our last discussion and still believes that god will bring us back together. He tells me he is praying over things and he has handed it over to God.

K is still there as always…never giving up. He seems to be getting the message better now cos he has been telling me that he feels I am in love with someone else from my attitude. I affirmed it hoping he would finally leave me alone but whosai…dude is even more determined than ever to win my heart.

Then there is Bobo Nice. I haven’t had time to talk about him yet. I’ll probably do that in my next post.
I have to go now peeps.
See you around!