The dream, the Vision and the Suitors...

Last night, I got a text from a secondary school friend. She is getting married this weekend and had gotten my number from another friend of ours so she sent me an invite to her wedding.
In the text she had included her wedding website so this morning, I decided to check it out.
Their's was a sweet love story. As I browsed through the website I kept telling God in my heart-“Father this is what I want, this is what I want…”
Their love story inspired me and almost made me believe that someday even I will find love.

Now to the main koko of the my gist today,

A few days back, I got a call from a strange number. It was an international call from Holland.
I picked up. The caller was strange too but he knew my name cos he went:
“Hello, am I speaking to Aphro?”
I replied in the affirmative and he went on to introduce himself.
He was from my town, had gotten my number from my cousin, blab la bla…
I instantly knew what was up.
Someone had been doing some matchmaking!

Fast forward to days later.
I have learnt more about the guy cos he has been calling everyday and we chatted a few times online.
Some stuff i have learnt...
He isn’t bad looking (seen his webcam)
He works in a transport company in Holland.
He seems honest (He told me he works as a transport officer aka Driver. Many guys will not do this. They’d rather form and feed you lies. Trust me, am talking from experience)
But wait for this…
Bobo dey ‘tagbon’ well well for im English o! meaning am not too impressed with his spoken English especially with the fact that I happen to have an excellent grasp of the language.
Na that last one spoil the whole matter.lol…
One thing I appreciate in the opposite sex is a man with eloquence. A man who speaks well. A man whom I wont be too embarrassed to introduce to my friends for fear of him ‘disgracing’ me,lol…
No, he doesn’t have to speak phonetics and all, he just needs to know his tenses and not make statements like-“ I wented to work this morrrin”
LOL….
Okay he is not that bad sha but am not impressed with what I have heard coming from his mouth so far.

However, the kain dream wey I dream last night don put me for ‘Gbagharia’ (Confusion).

In the dream, I was with my parents and some relations and somehow we were talking about a suitor who was asking for my hand in marriage.
I had told them that I wasn’t interested in the man cos he wasn’t my type.
My mum then replied that it was okay. If he wasn’t my type, someone better will come along.
Next thing, someone in the meeting(cant remember which of my aunts it was) shouted:
“Haaaa…don’t say that o. Don’t you know that this is spiritual. She will keep finding faults with everyman that comes her way and in the end, she’ll never marry. Let her stop finding fault and marry this man before it is too late o!”

I woke up at that point and spent sometime thinking about that dream before sleep came again.
Since morning, I have been thinking about this dream. I havnt even been able to properly concentrate on my work all day.

I recalled something a friend once told me when we were in the university.
She was one of the “born again’ ones then in school but we had a good rapport.
One day, she approached me and told me about a dream/vision she had about me.
According to her, in the dream, she had seen me with so many suitors coming around, yet I rejected each one and it was revealed to her that I had a marine husband that was determined that I’d never get married in real life. He was the one who was always making me find one fault or the other in my suitors and even if I love someone, something will come between us to break the relationship.She went further to tell me that I may end up being unmarried if I didn’t go for deliverance and reject the spiritual husband.

Anyway, I did go for deliverance then and rejected the ‘so called’ spiritual husband but that incident had stayed with me ever since.

To be honest, I have had more than my fair share of suitors. More than your average girl.
In fact, I started having suitors since I was 17years.
Many of my cousins and friends always tell me that they are surprised I am still single till date. Everyone thought I’d be married with a brood of kids by now .


I still have some suitors hanging around, begging me to accept them.

There is K who hasn’t given up all these while even after all the shabby treatment I have given him.
There is Bobo Nice who is still hoping against hope.
There is this new guy who seems quite serious.

Now what is my problem?
Why can’t I accept one of them and take the plunge?
What is it I am looking for?
Why do I seem to find faults here and there?

And to worsen matters, the man I finally met and loved decided he didn’t want to be with me.

Na wa…
Am I under a curse?
Do I have a spiritual husband for real?

What do u think guys?
Help a sister out,plzzzzzzzzzz...

I called...

Okay so I just called him now.

Yea, I know I said I wasn’t going to call again.

But guys, plzzzzzz don’t be too quick to crucify me.

I had to do it.

I don’t even know why.

I just know I had to call.

Maybe I was seeking some sort of explanation or closure…

Not sure which one it was

I know for sure, I wanted answers

I wanted to know where things stood.

I mean, relationships don’t just end like this…

One minute, you guys are good together,

The next everything is in disarray and it's like someone pulled the mat from under your feet and you are hanging in the air.

He left me hanging…

And I didn’t want that.

I needed closure. I needed to know that we were done.

I needed to hear it from his lips.

“Aphrodite, this relationship is over”

So I called.
He picked up at second ring.

"Hello"
“Hi”
I tried to sound as nonchalant as possible. There is no way I was going to let show in my voice, how broken I was.

Well, after some small talk,
I went straight to the reason why I called.

“So you chose to dump me and are not man enough to tell me?”

His reply:
“Is that what you want?”

I understood the game he was playing. Sly guy.

“It’s not about what I want, after all your actions these past weeks have shown me that you are no more interested in the relationship. How else do you explaining not picking my calls, replying my text messages. You won’t call even when you see my missed calls. How do you want me to interprete that?

To cut the story short.

His explanation was that we had been having a lot of quarrels recently and he just felt that he wasn’t adding any value to the relationship and he decided to just stay away since he was always making me unhappy.

What an excuse!

What was this guy going on about??
Didn’t all relationships have one problem or the other? Are couples not supposed to work out their issues?
In his own case, he doesn’t want to try to work things out rather he feels the best thing to do is to cut me off??


Gratefully, the line cut off. I didn’t call back. There was no point.

Did I get the answer I sought?

I don’t know.



* Saw his missed calls later on my phone. He probably called when I wasn't with the phone and No, i didnt call back.

On the side.
I just want to mention this to clear those who feel that O’s mum may have something to do with his behaviour.


Some days back. I just felt this urge to call her. O’s Mum , I mean.
The phone rang for a while but she didn’t pick.
I didn’t call back.

Later, I was sleeping when my phone woke me up. I glanced at the clock. It was a minute to midnight.
I picked up the phone and it was his mum calling. I pressed the green button but the line went off before I could answer so I called her back.
Our convo went something like this

Her: Hello…
Me: Hello ma
Her: Hello my dear. How are you? I saw your missed call on my phone.
Me: Yes mummy. I called you earlier but you didn’t pick up.
Her: Yes I left my phone at home then. Where have you been? I haven’t seen you in a long while.
Me: I have been around.
Her: You know today is my birthday (It was past 12 midnight by now)
Me: Oh yea? I didn’t know o! Let me be the first to wish you a happy birthday. Happy birthday to you ma and I wish you God’s blessings.
Her: Thank you my dear. May God grant you all your heart desires.
Me: Amen.
Her: O is upstairs o! You want to talk to him? Should I call him?
Me: Noooooo! No ma. There is no need for that. Enjoy your birthday. Good night ma.
Her: Okay my dear. Good night.

A Post in Two parts.

*Very Very long post alert* Read at ur own discretion,lol...

Sorry guys for not putting up this post earlier. Just been caught up with so many other stuffs. I haven’t been very happy too. Yea, O is the cause, who else? Fineboy agbero, oya gloat all you want, lol…

Am sure most of you already know that we were blessed with a long holiday these past days. FIVE WHOLE DAYS to rest and play! It was meant to be a wonderful one. I made so many plans. Plans on how I and O would spend the holiday together, enjoying each others company. Something which we haven’t been able to do in a while cos of his crazy work schedule. He is always working, even most weekends so you see why I was very excited about the holidays especially as it coincided with their bank’s financial year end and he had promised me that we would have enough time to spend with each other.

Things didn’t go as planned. We had one of our worst lovers tiffs during the period and well, yea the hols turned out to be a sad, boring and depressing one for me. I don’t know how it was for him. I dont know If he was as miserable as I was, but then he stayed away so I guess he was comfortable with the situation.

Why am I rambling?

I am supposed to gist you guys how the meeting with Sister Prayer warrior on Friday went. Okay I better start with that gist first, will still get to I and O’s issues later.

This post will be in two parts.

PART 1- MEETING WITH S.P
Friday morning, I didn’t go to work. I dressed up as decently as I could(Not that I don’t dress decently before o, just that I needed to polish up my good girl image,lol…). In my long gown, jacket and scarf, I drove down to Sister Prayer’s place. Incidentally, She lived in my vicinity so it was more like a 5mins drive.
My friend had told me she starts to see people from 9a.m so I wanted to get there on time cos I assumed there were going to lots of people there(you all know how our Naija peeps love prophecy and miracles) and I didn’t want to be the last on the line.

I got to Sister Prayer’s house at about five mins to Nine. It was a nice looking compound with a big white house. It wasn’t the usual prayer house setting. She held her prayers and consultations with people in her living room. It was more like a group of close family friends having a tea party thing, u get? I discovered that it wasn’t a crowd affair. All through the time I was there up till when she finally saw me, there were only about 8 of us. Three I had met there when I came and four others who came later. I shouldn’t have worried about coming late and being last in line cos there was no line. I learnt from one of the ladies I met there that sister prayer didn’t start her office till 10a.m so I had to wait one extra hour after I got there. I soon drifted off to sleep while waiting. Don’t blame me, the cushion was plush,lol…

From the look of her home, It was obvious Sister Prayer and her family were not hungry people. I remembered my friend telling me that she didn’t accept money or gifts from people. She always said that Jesus was providing for her family and she didn’t need anyone’s money. That helped to reduce my skepticism cos I was always wary of those prayer warriors that ask you to bring money for all sorts of things ranging from oil to candles and all what not. Some even tell you to pay for people who will fast for you if you cant do it urself, imagine!

Back to my gist…

At about 10a.m, Sister prayer(let’s call her S.P from now) came into the living room. She wasn’t as old as I had expected. She looked to be in her early forties. She greeted everyone and asked that we knelt down for prayers. Sorry, I didn t menton this earlier. S.P is catholic which was one reason I agreed to go see her. I am also catholic and I can tell you that in the catholic church, stuffs like prophets, visioners, prayer warriors are not that common. The church frowns at them not cos it is wrong or anything but because they believe that a lot of times, it is difficult to discern btw those who are working with the power of God and the fake ones who are working with the devil so before the church recognizes a person to be a prophet/prayer warrior they must have done a lot of investigations spiritually and otherwise to be sure he/she is working under the dictates of the holy spirit. I decided to go see S.P cos my friend also told me that the priests in my parish recognized her and were aware that she held prayers and counseling sessions in her home.

After the prayers, she started to call people one after the other to a corner of the living room(the dining area) where she had set up a mini-office.
Soon enough, it got to my turn. After introducing myself, I explained the reason I was there. I was having a lot of suitors and I needed to know the will of God concerning my marriage. She smiled and spoke very softly(She had the softest voice). She talked about how first of all, I needed to amend my life and get closer to God in prayers. She asked about the last time I received communion which I must confess had been a long time (Una no say aphro na big sinner now. Number 1 sin-FORNICATION,it’s a sin whether we like to admit it or not).
We talked for a while. During the discussion, she made me see reason why I needed to go to confession and renew my relationship with God all over. She also gave me some prayers to say for a month after which I should come back to see her and by then she would have a message from God for me.
It wasn’t what I had expected. I mean, I had expected her to lay hands on me or something and start seeing visions or something but it wasn’t like that. It was more like a conversation with a friend. She made me feel very comfortable and after the session, my heart was made up that she was for real. I must add tho that while she was talking, I was wondering what to do with O cos if I go to confession, I couldn’t continue in the same sin. I couldn’t continue making love with him although am not sure if kissing and touchery is also out of the question.
Guys, I need your opinion on this. Am thinking, if he is really sincere, it shouldn’t be a problem, right?

I haven’t started the prayers yet. I plan to go for confession this weekend then start the prayers afterwards.

Okay, so that was how my meeting with S.P went.

PART 2- HOLIDAY QUARREL
O had told me some time past that his mum was eager to meet me and he wanted me to meet her on Sunday(last Sunday). I agreed.

So Sunday morning, after church, He called to say he was coming to get me in the afternoon. I was apprehensive. What if she didn’t like me? What if I didn’t like her? He waved off my fears saying she loved me already and It was just a formality.

So I got dressed up, looking like a cute, good girl in my white shirt and red top,lol…

To cut long story short. The meeting with his mum went well. we hit it off rightaway. She regaled me with gists about O from when he was a kid. It was obvious she thought the world of her son. I laughed hard when she said “My son is a hot cake o!” I responded “Mama, I am a hot cake too o…ask my mama” All in all, it was a fun meeting. She brought out a bottle of wine and asked O to say a prayer over it. It was funny cos I didn’t know he could pray like dat. After the prayer, we shared the drink while listening to his mum's non-stop gists.

O stylishly whispered in my ears that we had to leave cos his mum would go on and on if we let her. Hugs and bye-byes done, we left for the mall to see a movie.

We didn’t do the movie again cos it was too late when we got there and I didn’t want to stay out too late. So we decided to do some window shopping in some of the stores there. While walking around the stores, I noticed O wasn’t looking bright and he wasn’t responding to me like before. I kept asking what was wrong with him and he kept saying “nothing, I’m okay”. It was soon obvious that he wasn’t okay and I kept badgering him to tell me what was wrong. After much pressure he told me he wasn’t feeling too well, he was feeling dizzy. I insisted we sit down somewhere so he could rest. After some time, I asked if he was feeling better and he said yes. It was getting late so we had to leave. I offered to drive us home even tho I don’t drive a manual car but he refused saying he could manage. As we walked to the car park, I noticed he kept wincing so I asked again how he was feeling. He didn’t reply. I kept asking but he wasn’t talking.

On the drive back home, I asked again. He still didn’t talk, just kept wincing like he was in pain. Then I asked If there was anything I could do to make him feel better. He said No, and that just being there was enough. Seeing as he didn’t want to talk anymore I decided to keep quiet but in my heart I was feeling sad and miserable cos I didn’t like to see him like dat.

At a point, during the drive he spoke:
“Aphro, why are you sulking? Be yourself, sing, dance for me like you used to”
But I wasn’t in the mood for singing and dancing so I replied “I don’t feel like…”
We didn’t talk to each other after that although I kept sneaking glances at him. He had stopped wincing and was beginning to look okay. I soon drifted off to sleep only to wake up when he drove into my close. I turned to look at him and he asked “So have you finished sulking?” I was like “I wasn’t sulking, just felt that you didn’t want to talk so I kept quiet”
Next he started talking about how uncaring I was and how I was supposed to know what to do to make him feel okay. I was like "What did you expect me to do? You weren’t even talking to me. When I asked how you were feeling, you wouldn’t respond. I just assumed you wanted to be left alone"

I don’t even know how it happened but next thing, he was screaming at me“Stop it aphro, just stop it! I am fed up of this attitude of yours. It doesn’t always have to be about you everytime"….I was shocked at his outburst. This wasn’t the first time he was making that statement about it being all about me always.
“All about me? You keep saying this everytime when it is really you who makes it all about you everytime…” I tried to stop the tears but they were already flowing. When he saw I was crying, he reached for my hands and stroked them while I cried on in silence. I finally pulled myself together and said quietly “I should be going”. He nodded and I got down from the car. No goodbyes, no kisses, nothing.
Maybe I shouldn’t have left that way but I felt hurt at what he had said. There I was trying to reach out to him, if possible bear some of his pain and he wasn’t responding to me. Maybe I shouldn’t have given up easily, maybe I should have tried another approach to make him feel better but one thing I know is I never make it all about me like he said.

Later when I had calmed down, I sent him a text.
“Hope you got home safe. Sorry for this evening. I really wished I could do some thing to lessen ur pain but sadly I couldn’t be for you what you wanted. I want ur happiness always but I may not be the girl for you. Loved meeting ur mum anyway, she is cool. Good night”

His reply didn’t come until after I had slept. I saw his missed calls and text the next morning.
“Nice touch about you not being the girl for me. It’s very amusing especially after just meeting my mum. Trying to tell me something?”

Later that Monday he called on the phone. Our conversation went something like this:
O: How are you? Haven’t you been seeing my missed calls?
Me: I have…
O: So? You couldn’t call back or what?
Me: I didn’t have credit(Lie)
O: Okay. So what did you mean by you not been the girl for me?
Me: Just what I meant. That maybe we are not meant for each other. I have never been a quarrelling person but with you, its almost as if we are always quarrelling over the littlest things
O: Oh yea? You know what Aphro? If that’s the way you see it, then do what you want.
The line went dead. He dropped the phone.
I couldn’t believe it. Did he just drop the phone on me? I wanted him to apologise for making me cry yesterday and here he was dropping the phone on me. I made up my mind, I wasn’t going to call him. If that’s the way the relationship would end, then so be it.

Meeeen, this has got to be my longest post ever!

To wrap up this gist, he didn’t call back. I didn’t call him too so the rest of Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday was spent with me wallowing in depression, resisting the temptation to call him and wishing he would call. I had to drag myself out on Wednesday to go see a movie although it wasn’t fun without him. I even sent him a text to wish him a happy independence day which he didn’t reply.

Thursday morning, I finally called him. I was upset he hadn’t bothered to check on me or even reply my text. He couldn’t give any excuse and apologized for not replying or calling. Later he sent me a text:
“Happy Independence day my love. This text is dated 01/10/08”

Can you believe this guy?!!!

Maybe I should just forget about this whole love business and settle with B.G, K or Bobo Nice.

The stress is too much!

Ur opinion guys?

Suspension for O & X

Hello everyone.
Am back and better! Thanks for all the beautiful, insightful comments you left on my previous post. You can’t possibly know how much I appreciate all of them. May God continue to bless every one of you and grant your heart’s desires, AMEN!!!

The latest gist now is this- X and O are on suspension,lol…

Okay more like, X put me on suspension and I put O on suspension.

Let me add more flesh to the gist…before I start, I must warn you all that this is going to be one of my usual long assed post so get urself some salt&sugar popcorn, than sit back and read,lol...

Starting with X…

The Friday(before my last post). I was back at home from work and just lying in bed when X’s call came in. He was like “Babes, are you home? I want to see you”. I said okay fine. Then he asked if I wanted him to get me Suya (he knows I have a soft spot for suya,lol…), I said it was okay.

I was still waiting for X to come when O called me. While on the phone with O. X’s call came in but I didn’t answer it since I was still talking with O. Just as I ended the conversation with O, X call came in again. This time I answered and he said he was outside my house so I went out to meet him.

When I got outside, he handed over the Suya and drink to me. I took it and thanked him. Then he said “I called you before, didn’t you see my call?” . I was like “yeah, I did…I was on the phone then”. “So why didn’t you call me back when you were through with your call” he continued. I said “Cos you called almost immediately”. Then he went on about how long he had been waiting outside my gate and all. I was getting pissed and asking myself if the Suya and Coke was worth listening to his lamentations,lol… Anyway sha, after a while he now chilled and we talked about some other stuffs. He didn’t seem like he was in a hurry to leave and I wanted him to cos O had said he may come see me that evening if he was able to round up his work on time. So I told him I was busy with some stuffs inside the house and I had to get back inside. He said okay and moved closer to give me a kiss but I turned my head away. He was like “What is it? Cant I give you a kiss?” I retorted “Must you give me a kiss every time we see?" Then he said “We need to have a serious talk, You know what i want(marriage) but I don’t understand your attitude to me at times. Can we see tomorrow?” I wasn’t sure what O’s plans were for the weekend and I didn’t want to couldn’t commit myself to seeing X the next day so I said, “Maybe, if am around, we will see” He didn’t like my answer and kept pressuring me to be more definite but I kept saying maybe, maybe as I headed back inside my compound. He drove off resignedly.

That weekend, O had to go to work but he came around in the evenings for an hour or so. I didn’t pick X’ calls all through that weekend. I knew he wanted an answer to his marriage proposal and I didn’t have an answer for him yet. I know it’s not fair to keep a man hanging like that and it was quite selfish of me but I avoided him all weekend.

I must say it here that since that weekend. X hasn’t called me or dropped by even though his office is just opposite mine and I know he’s been coming to work cos I see his car outside everyday. Once, I called him at night but he didn’t answer his call. He may have been asleep but then he must have seen my missed call when he woke up but he never called back so I have decided to let him be. Maybe that is the way God wants to resolve the matter.

Now to O and his own suspension…

After reading some of your comments on my last post especially doll who said, it was obvious that I am into O more than he is into me. I had to ask myself certain pertinent questions and then decided to lay low for a while and not call him or contact him and see how it all plays out.
I did that post last Tuesday right?

So Tuesday, I didn’t call. He didn’t call.
Wednesday, I didn’t call, he didn’t call as well.
By this time, I was like so I have been the one keeping this relationship alive all this while? So if I don’t call, he won’t call enh? Okay oo…

Thursday morning, he called.
“Baby I havn't heard from you for a while. What’s happening now? Anyway I got you ur gizzard”(There is this woman that brings smoked gizzard to their office and he had bought some for me once which I liked)
I said “Oh how sweet of you dear. Will pass by your office and pick it on my way home” His office is on my way home.

As promised, on my way home, I stopped by his office. I deliberately put up a cold attitude when he came out and didn't give him a hug or kiss like I used to. I was all formalish, asked him about work and other stuff. He noticed and was like he didn’t like my attitude after all he left his work and came down to see me and all am giving him is this cold attitude. In my head, I was like see this guy o, Me that came all the way to see you nko? Is that not a bigger deal than you that just came out of ur office? Anyway I didn’t say anything. I just said I was not feeling too well. We didn’t spend much time together cos he had to go back to his work and I had to go home.

Friday, I didn’t call. He didn’t call too. Friday night, I called him cos I needed to know if we would be hooking up during the weekend as planned. He had promised me when I complained about his having to work every weekend that we would hang out together this weekend.
So I called, but he didn’t answer. He was probably sleeping cos it was quite late at night then.

Saturday morning he called me. He explained that he was fast asleep and didn’t hear his phone ring. Then he asked me what the plan was? I was like how do you mean? He said “Do you want to see me today”. I don’t know why I felt pissed at that moment. Maybe it was all the long days of silence or maybe I felt like he took it for granted that I didn’t have any other thing to do except wait for him to decide to see me.
So I told him , I had other plans and it wouldn’t be possible to see him. It felt good to burst his bubble. He was like okay, I guess I have to find something else to do. That was not quite the reaction I wanted. I wanted him to feel sad and even try to talk me out of my supposed plans but no, the bobo didn’t even raise issues. So I said “Why are you calling me on Saturday morning to ask what the plans are? I could have other plans too…” He cut in “But I told you last week that we would spend this weekend together, anyway it’s okay, go ahead with ur plans”

I was at the market later that evening when he called and he was like he had been expecting my call. I said I had been busy and planned to call him later. I asked what he was up to and he said he was at his brother’s place cos he couldn’t go have fun by himself without me. I was touched small sha,lol…

I didn’t call him later that night. He didn’t call either.

Sunday was pretty boring but I resisted the urge to call him. I thought he would call but he didn’t. At the last minute, I packed my stuff and headed over to the salon to do my nails. At least the day wouldn't be wasted.

At night, when I hadn’t still heard from him, I sent a text:
“Hey, how are you babes, How did your day go?”
He didnt reply immediately and i fell asleep.
This morning i saw his reply “My day was okay. How was urs?”

So I have deleted his number from my phone(Okay I admit I left it on my second phone,lol…). It has become very obvious that we are not operating on the same frequency so until he gives me reason to believe otherwise. He is on suspension starting today.

Catch you all larer…

PS: Am still doing the thinking and praying o...

UPDATE
O just sent me a text now.
"How are you pooky?(whatever does pooky mean?) I asked how your day was yesterday but you didn't reply. Been a busy bee lately, havn't you? It's okay, I understand. I'm often guilty of that . Miss you lots. O"

He has obviously noticed there is some changes but wants to put it down to me being busy. Okay ooo, he is still on suspension so i won't reply or do I?

FUNNY PHONE CALL AND OTHER GISTS

Something funny happened Sunday night. I got a call from some strange lady. I’ll just take you through our phone exchange. Let’s call the strange lady S.L

Me: Hello…
S.L: Hello, am I speaking to Aphrodite?
Me: Yea…who is this?
S.L: My name is S.L. Bobo Nice’s friend.
You guys know Bobo Nice now. My friend I met during NYSC that has always wanted something more but who I don’t feel any attraction for. Remember now?
Me: Oh…okay…
S.L: Bobo Nice has been my friend since our uni days and I went to visit him today and saw your pictures in his album. I fell in love with you instantly and asked who the fine babe was and he told me all about you. How much he loved you and everything…
At this point am suspecting where the conversation is headed so I chuckle.
Me: Hmmm,hmmm...
S.L: Please I just want to ask you a favour…
Me: Okay…
S.L: Please marry Bobo Nice. He is a very good guy and he is madly in love with you. He doesn’t know how else to prove his feelings to you so he poured out his feelings to me today so am begging you, please marry him. I am married and six months pregnant, I beg you with the baby in my womb please accept him, you will never regret it.
At this point I burst into laughter. Begging me with the baby in her womb ke? This na serious matter sha.
Me: Ha ha ha…did Bobo Nice put you up to this?
S.L: Noooo! He didn’t but I had to call you because he told me how he felt about you and he really wants to marry you, moreover I told you I loved you the moment I saw your picture. Please my dear, pleaseeeeeeee you won't regret it…
Me: You know what, am actually somewhere now so can you call me back later when it will be conducive for us to talk.
I was actually outside my house gisting with my neighbour.
S.L: Okay I‘ll call you later then. Bye.
Me: Bye.

Thinking about that call later. I felt sorry for poor Bobo Nice. I didn’t need anyone to tell me he was a good guy and all afterall we’ve been friends like 4 years now. Unfortunately, he was in love with me but I wasn’t with him. Why is life so complicated, I mean why can’t a person love the person that loves him/her equally? Why would Mr.A be in love with Miss B who in turn will be in love with Mr. C. It’s not just fair! It is only very few lucky ones that find a partner who they love and who reciprocates equally. I guess one can only pray to get lucky in love.

See now, Bobo Nice, K, B.G, X are all in love with me and wish to marry me but stupid me, instead of reciprocating the love to one of them, am following one coconut head(O of course!) who sometimes I wonder If he really feels for me the same way I feel for him. Na wa for this life o!
Anyway am waiting for S.L to call again and I’ll politely tell her that I am in a relationship with a guy I really like(Please note I said like not love cos recently I have been trying to re-evaluate what it is I really feel for O. Not sure yet if it is love, I may just be infatuated,lol…) and that Bobo Nice is simply my friend and nothing more. Marrying him doesn’t come up at all!

Ehen! Something else happened last week that I wanted to blog about but didn’t have time to do so. I guess I can blog about it now abi?

I was in my office jejely facing my work when O came in unannounced (that reminds me, I need to have a word with the office receptionist about this. She doesn’t even inform me when he comes these days. She just lets him right in. Even if he was my husband sef, I still think it’s not right for her to usher him in without my notice). So he came with his elder sister and guess what! Concidentally, we’ve met before(I and his sister). My company did some business with her some time ago. You see, this world is a really small place. Thank God we had a cordial contact then. What if we had some issues then and now she turns out to be my boyfie’s sister? E for hard o,lol…

Anyway, it was a pleasant surprise. He had told her about me and she said she knew me, so he brought her to my office. His sister is married to an Ibo man. I remember the first time we met, I had thought she was Ibo cos she really looks like a typical Ibo woman and speaks the language. I was surprised when she told me she was from Edo. O speaks and understands Ibo too although that should be expected since their mum is Ibo.

They didn’t stay long cos O had to get back to his office. When they were about leaving, I got up to see them off to the car. As we strolled to the car, guess who I saw in the premises? X! Remember he works just opposite my office. I think he came to do some stuff in my office premises or maybe he was actually coming to see me. I stopped briefly to greet him with a formal handshake. I could see O was giving me an inquiring look. O knew about X and that he worked opposite my office but he hadn’t met him before. X also knew about O but he also hadn’t met him in person. They gave each other some funny look, me I quickly greeted X and walked on ahead with O and his sister.

As they made to enter the car, O pulled me aside and asked: “Who was that guy you greeted?” I turned to look in the direction of X and he was staring at us. I quickly turned back to O and told him “We’ll talk about that later, your sister is waiting”. So he got into the car and I walked back towards my office. I sensed that he was watching me to see if I’d go back to meet X so I didn’t even stop when I passed by X. I just moved straight ahead into my office.

A few minutes later, O’s call came in. I was expecting it so I smiled when he asked
“Aphrodite, who was that guy?”
I replied “You know him now…”
“Know him? How?”
“Okay he is my X, the one I told you about”
“Your X. When will they leave you for me enh baby?”
“You don’t have to worry about him, he is not a threat at all”
“Are you sure?”
“Yea I am”
Na so that one come take end sha.

Later X dropped in. I expected him to ask about O and his sister but surprisingly he didn’t even say a word about them or even mention how I treated him as in just walking into my office without looking at his side. I guess he wanted to be matured about things cos it was really obvious that there was some thing up between me and the guy I saw off.

I have to admit that is one good thing about X. he doesn’t pry too much especially if he feels that he may not like the answer he’ll get. If it was O enh…wahala for dey that day,lol…

I didn’t see O all through last weekend. It was end of the month and as usual he had to work weekends. Na wa for that their bank o. I have friends who are bankers and who do not have to go to work on weekends even at the end of the month but not O’s bank. They must all work weekends at the end of the month especially those in O’s department (Operations).
Its annoying me cos its only weekends that we get to see and one demanding job like that will now be coming between us. Hiss!

Anyway, I think I have overyarned as it is. I planned to make this post as short as possible so nikkisab wont have to go on break this time,lol…

Take care y’all and have a lovely week.

I’ll try to drop by your blogs.

xxx kisses xxx

The party and the pleasant surprise.

Happy new week everybody.
Hope ur weekend went down well and no wahala at all?
We thank God for life and I thank him for all of you my friends. Una too much jare.
May this week bring all the favours and blessings we hope for, Amen.


Okay so what gist do I have for you guys today.

Plenty!



I just pray I have enough time to spill it all out.

There is a challenge between O and I going on now.

We call it the Romance Challenge.

Its like this, we realised that we haven’t been particularly romantic towards each other as we should so everyday each person has to try and outdo the other with some romantic gesture. So far it’s been cool sha and guess who has been winning. Moi of cos! That guy has no romantic bone in his body at all. I have told him, he has a lot to learn in the romance department.

Last night I serenaded him with my favourite song of the moment-No Air(Jordin Sparks/Chris brown). He was so happy. Who no like beta thing? Anyway am waiting to see what he’ll do today. So far I haven’t been impressed at all.



Last Saturday was my mum’s birthday and she had a party. I planned to invite O to the party and use the opportunity to introduce him to my family as my friend o, nothing more! I never ready to answer question yet,lol…

Anyways, that plan was spoilt when I realized K and X would be coming. Mum is friendly with both guys and invited them both. Knowing them(K & X) very well, I knew they would try to cling to me all through the event so I decided not to put O through the embarrassment. He wasn’t too happy that I didn’t invite him cos somehow I let it slip that we were having a party that weekend, however he thought it was probably cos I wasn’t ready for him to meet the parents yet.



I also invited B.G. The guy I used to date before I met O(see earlier posts). True, he is also still nursing the hope that we can still end up together. Sincerely I know he truly cares for me sha. In fact if u ask me between O, X and B.G, who loves me more. I’d say B.G and am very sure about that. He proved it in more ways than one while we were dating even up till now despite the fact that I broke things off with him and told him I was in love with some other guy(O).

So that day, There were three guys jostling for my attention at the party. X, K and B.G.

K and X knew they were rivals but they still put up a show of greeting each other with smiles although I wonder if it reached their hearts. B.G didn’t know either of them and they didn’t know him too. I tried to busy myself with attending to the guests but every chance they got, one of them was sure to corner me at a spot acting all husbandy and all. Even B.G had to go introduce himself to Mum as ‘my friend’. Mum being the sharp woman she is later asked me what kind of friend i was with that guy that came to greet her. I replied that he was my friend too,lol…



X’s own was the one that pissed me off sef. Anytime he saw me talking to a male guest for more than 5 minutes, he would come around and introduce himself to the guy and before he left us, he was sure to tell me some thing using the prefix ‘Honey’. I just tire for the guy. Sometimes when he called that Honey, I go just do ear like say I no hear at all. Which kain marking territory be that one now?
One of my friends(a guy) who attended even commented-“Wetin dey do that guy sef? Even if u be im wife, make e take am easy now!”

K adopted a much more mature attitude. He just kept his distance. He obviously noticed I didn’t want any gumming body not to add that X was always hovering around like fly over shit so the poor guy no see chance to take corner me.



I just kept thanking God that I didn’t make the mistake of inviting O. The guy eye for just turn reeeeed!!!

The party went well sha.

Later that night. O called me and it was to give me a surprising news. It was a pleasnt surprise.

He had told me some time back that his aunty(mother’s younger sister) was married to a guy from my town. I just waved it aside as one of those gists so you can imagine my shock when he called me that Saturday night. Our conversation went thus:



O: Aphrodite, you can’t believe this…my uncle knows ur family very well.
Me: Your uncle?
O: Remember I told you my mum’s younger sister was married in your place. They both know ur family very well. Speak with him.
(At this point another voice comes on)
Uncle: Nne, kedu?(How are u?)
Me: O dim ma(am fine). Who is this?
Uncle: Your mother’s brother…
Me: My mother’s brother? Which one?
Uncle: Uncle E. 1004(He used to live with his family at 1004 in V/I. As kids we called him Uncle I004)
Me: Uncle!!! Good evening sir! Kee ka unu mere(How are you people doing?)
Uncle: We are doing fine. How is your mummy? Is she there, let me greet her.
Me: She is fine, hold on let me give her the phone



I ran to give mummy the phone only to find the line had cut off.
Later O called and gave me the gist. Uncle 1004 who is my younger brother’s god father(yea our families are that close!) is his auntie’s husband. They had given him a lot of gist about my family and all. In fact O was just giving me gist about my family. I didn’t worry sha cos there are no skeletons in our cupboard so nothing to fear. Later on when mumsy was asking me how come Uncle 1004 called me on my phone to greet her instead of calling her. I had to explain what happened. She asked me who the friend of mine was. I told her he was just a friend. She asked where he was from. I said Edo state, then she said okay she remembered Aunty T(uncle’s wife) had a sister who married an Edo man.



Anyway, that’s the gist o!

O and I have some sort of connection. I wonder if this is a sign from God that things will work out between us and the tribe thing wouldn’t be a barrier at the end of the day.

O however told me that uncle E had told him that it would be a difficult battle to get my folks to accept him as a son-in-law cos they are really staunch Catholics and also wont like me to marry a non-ibo even though his case was slightly better since he was half Ibo (his mum is Ibo).
Oh well, make we dey see sha…


What else?
Okay, I know y’all have been asking what happens to X?
Truth is I haven’t told him anything yet but it’s beginning to look like I will have to soon given the way he acted at the party last weekend-like he owned me and had paid my bride price or something.
I am just being relauctant to tell him off outrightly cos again am feeling I may be making a mistake. O hasn’t declared his stand as per marriage. X has and like a lot of people(my mum too) have pointed out, he has a lot of nice qualities to make a good husband. A friend of mine (a much older guy who should know) also told me that what makes a marriage successful happens within it and not before it and I shouldn’t be deceived by that rush of ‘hot love’ that most young ladies seek.

Me I no know again sha.

SILENT TREATMENT

I’m truly sorry for leaving y’all hanging like hangers(lol) since the last time I posted. You know how it is with work and other stuff that take one’s time now ;). So am responsible for making you guys drink countless bottles of soda and lots of popcorn too?lol… Eh ya…and the ladies were supposed to be on a diet too…chineke! Aphro see what you’ve caused now,lol…they’ve all gone and added more pounds…oya I declare seven days fasting for all of you, that should take care of the excess weight,lol…

Okay on to serious matters now, am sorry to inform y’all that ur wait for the BIG DEED is over. No…I didn’t do it yet and may never will. In fact the truth is that we may never get to know how well small things can perform anymore:(
O and I may never work out!

By now am sure you are all wondering what am going on about.

Hold your breath. I’ll give you gist.

So last Wednesday-the last time I posted-when O came to pick me up for lunch from the office and I was so excited about it. Well, things didn’t work out as planned. Just as I was about rounding up the work I had at hand and gearing up to go ask for permission from my boss to take the rest of the day off. I got a call from one of our clients to attend to some urgent brief. There and then I knew there was no way I was running away from the office especially as there was no one to delegate the job to.

So there I was attending to the client’s brief and O was sitting opposite my desk leafing through some newspapers. He had this bored look on his face so I wasn’t surprised when he asked to leave so he could attend to some other stuffs. He said I should call him as soon as I was through with work so he could come pick me up. I thought it wasn’t a bad idea at least he would be utilizing his time better than just sitting there doing nothing in my office.

My people na so I come dey office dey attend to work o…time come dey go! I kept glancing at my watch miserably but there was nothing i could do...i was stuck!

You won’t believe that I was only able to round up my work by few minutes to 7pm. It was crazy! I felt so bad then I remembered I hadn’t called O as I promised. He also hadn’t called since he left.

So I called. As soon as he picked up I started apologizing, saying how sorry I was that my work had to spoil our plans and all. Then I asked where he was and if he could still make it down to my office. I felt we could still do dinner since lunch had been impossible. He said he was very far from my office and couldn’t come down so I said, “cool…no stress…I’d just go home then”
But then things didn't end there. O went on to say that he had taken the two days off (that day was the second day. He had come the previous day to my office but didn’t spend much time cos he was just coming from the hospital and said he needed to rest. I had had no qualms about it and urged him to go home) just because of me…because he wanted to spend some time with me and I didn’t have his time at all.

I replied that it wasn’t true cos the reason he had taken time off work was cos he was ill and not just cos he wanted to spend time with me.
I didn’t bargain for his outburst. He was really angry that I said that. According to him, I didn’t appreciate what he did by leaving his office for two days because of me and there I was telling him it was because of his illness. He ranted on while I was just wondering what the rant was all about. I felt he was taking everything too far so I mumbled “Issues…drama”. He stopped talking for a minute and asked “What did you just say?” I replied “I said "Issues…drama”

Before I go on friends, I must explain what I meant by that “issues…drama” statement. The thing is that we are always fighting over minor issues and I keep telling him that we have too much issues and drama in our very young relationship. So that was why as he went on about how I wasn’t appreciative and all, I mumbled “Issues…drama”. Get it now?

Okay so back to my gist. When I said what I said. He now grew even more angry and upset and went on this time about how am trying to push him away and succeeding. Then he said the one that hurt me the most “Maybe it because of the fact that a lot of guys are after you that’s why you are acting this way”. I felt there was absolutely no need for that statement but as is usual with me, when am angry I try not to say a word cos I could say something I’d regret later on. So after talking he was like “let me leave you cos I have nothing else to say to you” And I was like “Okay bye”. Then he said “is that all you have to say” and am like “what else do you want me to say? I have nothing to say” then he cut the line.

All these happened on Wednesday evening o

So later that night during happy hour. I called him. I wanted us to talk about the argument we had earlier and I was in the mood to apologize for everything even though I didn’t see what I said/did to deserve all his rant. So I called and it rang severally but he didn’t pick up. I wasn’t perturbed cos I thought he was probably asleep and wasn’t expecting my call.

The next morning, Thursday morning, I sent him a text:
“Hello Baby. How are you doing this morning? Feeling better? Called you last nite but you were probably fast asleep. Just wanna wish you a great day. Take care.”

I was hoping he’d have gotten over our argument the previous day and would reply my text but he didn’t. All day, my hands itched to dial his number but I suppressed the urge. I wanted to see if he would call. He didn't.

By Friday evening. I hadn’t received a call or text from him but I couldn’t suppress the urge to call him any longer so I dialed his number. It rang repeatedly and he didn’t pick up. I waited a while and dialed again. Same thing happened. He didn’t pick up. Now I was sure he was deliberately refusing to take my calls.

I was hurt. Why does he always act this way. We have a problem and instead of sorting it out, he decides to cut me off. This wasn’t the first time he’d be doing this and I was getting fed up!

Saturday morning. I woke up depressed and wanting to talk to him and get things sorted out once and for all but after unsuccessfully dialing his number and getting ‘number not available’, I decided to send another text:
“ Hmmm…u get mind o. I don’t know how u do it…carrying grudges for days. Anyway just wanted to talk but obviously u don’t want to. Take care”

It wasn’t until later in the day-towards evening that I got a reply from him:
“I’m not carrying any grudge. It’s just that I feel that no matter what I do, u don’t believe that I truly care for you. Your comment about drama and issues wasn’t nice too”

Shio! What is this guy talking about? Caring truly for me? Is not calling or taking my calls for three whole days, his own way of showing how much he truly cares for me? If that was what caring for someone meant then i don't want to be cared for o!

Anyway so I got his text but I didn’t reply it. It was obvious he was still angry about what transpired between us but then I wasn’t bothered anymore. He isn’t the only one who can do the silent treatment thing. I have decided am not going to call him and if this is the end of our relationship, so be it. I don’t even want a husband who I’ll be begging anytime we have a small argument.

I also want to be spoilt and pampered jare!

Just in case, you care to know. He hasn't called up till this moment.

Go be with her and leave me alone!!!

WHY ARE MEN LIKE THIS?!!!!
CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHY MEN LIE??!!!!

They always say babes are deceitful, liars and all that but they are the ones who are full of lies!
A girl decides to give her heart and everything to a man yet he still lies and cheats on her, it’s just not fair!

Why am I ranting?
It’s because right now, am hurting, am hurting badly.

I have been as honest as I could and he hasn’t.
I don’t have enough proof that he has been cheating
but I think what I have is enough to conclude that he hasn’t been totally honest.

He claims he loves me, he is crazy about me, and he can’t do without me
But I don’t believe it!

I knew he had a girlfriend before he met me.
Yes he told me.
I also wasn’t single, you guys know that.
There was B.G.
I wasn’t in love with him no doubt but we were in a relationship.
We were shagging and doing all the stuffs lovers did until I decided I didn’t want to continue living a lie.
Giving him my body but not my heart.
So I stopped.

We didn’t know things were going to get serious.
We didn’t plan for it but it happened
We got more involved and committed
Our other partners had to be cut off
He said he had broken it off with her-his girlfriend
I believed him.
I also told B.G how things were
Although till now, he refuses to accept it.

Now it turns out he may have been lying
He may just have been playing with my feelings
How else do you explain this:


We were chatting on the phone in the middle of the night as usual
Suddenly he puts me on hold
I am surprised, what’s happening? I ask myself
I couldn’t hold no any longer so I ended the call and called back
Three times it rang, three times he didn’t pick it
It was on ‘call waiting’
He was on another call.
Upset, I gave up trying.
Then he calls me minutes later to tell me
It was a mixup
Mixup my ass!!!
I insist he has to explain what that meant
Finally he tells me, it was her, his ex
She had called, she was crying, pleading with him to take her back
Yeah right! So you had to put me on hold for that? Without the courtesy of even telling me to hold on?
And when I called thrice you didn’t pick till you were done talking with her
What did you tell her?
That I meant nothing to you?

It obvious she means more than I do to you
So stop calling my phone to say sorry
Go be with your girlfriend and leave me alone!
Am tired of ur lying ass!!!

Cheapskate or not??

It’s been 2 days now since I last spoke to O and two really hard days they have been for me. I miss the way he makes me laugh with all his clowning.

Yesterday night I deleted his number and text messages from my phone because the temptation to call him was beginning to overwhelm me. It was like a drug I desperately needed a fix of. I tried to sleep but couldn’t. My mind kept going back to him even when I tried to dwell on other stuffs.

Finally, I decided to call Efe. Efe is another guy who has been on my case for a while now. Always going on about how in love he was with me and why I should give him a chance. I had told him that he was Urhobo and my parents would never allow me marry an Urhobo man which is actually just a lame excuse. The truth is that I don’t love him afterall O is from Edo state yet here I am tripping for the guy.

So back to yester night, I called Efe and he was ecstatic to put it mildly. Dude was surprised I called him. He had been calling me repeatedly these past few days and I hadn’t been picking his calls and he wondered what could have made me call him at so late an hour. I felt bad cos I knew in my heart that I was just using him to escape the loneliness I was feeling because of O but the fact that I had also made him(Efe) happy made it seem a bit fair to both of us.

So we chatted. I wasn’t really feeling the chat cos really the voice I wanted to hear then was O’s and not Efe’s. I spent some time with Efe on the phone, he also sang one of his songs for me(he is a budding musician). At a point I grew bored and wanted to end the call but I didn’t know how to without hurting him so I stylishly ended the call and quickly diverted all calls on my phone to voice mail. He had served his purpose and I needed to sleep. I later cancelled the call divert before I drifted off to sleep when I remembered that O may still try to reach me during the night.

The first thing I did when I awoke this morning was to check my phone but there was no messages/missed calls from O. Miserably I dragged myself from the bed to get ready for work.

All through the day, I kept hoping he would call or text me but he didn’t. Scrolling through my phone I saw some messages I had sent to him a while back. I had forgotten to delete them yesterday. I quickly retrieved his number and started dialing. Fortunately for me, I stopped myself just in time. “Aphrodite, you need to take it easy” I said to myself.

Finally I gave in when I got back from work in the evening and still he hadn’t called. I sent him a text message. It was a forwarded message I got from a friend. Nice and funny and no mention of how I was feeling bad cos I hadn’t heard from him.
He replied with a text asking how I was and telling me how he tried my number the previous night and it didn’t go through.

I didn’t know what to feel. Anger or sadness?? Like so he couldn’t call me during the day or something? Why does it have to be during free calls period that we can only talk?? If he couldn’t spend his credit on calling me during the day, wasn’t he a cheapskate afterall?? These were the thoughts that went through my head. Don’t misunderstand me guys, he has called me during the day in the past but I think we speak more during the happy hours(free call period). Does that say something?

Anyway, I think I’ll call him tonight and see what he has to say for himself. But now, when I think of it again, I really do not have any right over him after all he hasn’t even asked me formally to be his girlfriend. Hell…I don’t even know what it is we are right now and I am not going to ask before he begins to feel I am too forward.

Peeps what’s ur take?

Complicated

I just deleted O’s number from my phone!
I deleted his text messages too.

Maybe it’s stupid or crazy but I just felt it’s the right thing to do.
I think I am getting too attached to this guy.
He didn’t call me all day and I have been feeling miserable.
I don’t even feel like myself again…I am so out of control with this guy!

I am also mightily pissed off at him like why didn’t he call me all day?! I really longed to hear his voice all day but he didn’t call me. Not even to ask how my day went. God! I sound really pathetic!

Don’t ask me why I didn’t call guys. I don’t want him to begin to feel like am becoming too needy. You know how guys begin to take one for granted when they find out you are into them and am not even sure what I feel for him now.
Maybe I’m just trying to prove to myself that I can do without him.

It’s 12.30am (free calls time) now and usually, I would call him about now but tonight I aint calling him. Lets see if he calls and if he doesn’t I don’t care(lol! Who am I kidding??)

Even if I wanted to call, I can’t be tempted to anymore.
I already deleted his number.

This love business seems complicated sha….I don’t want a heart break o!