Monday, December 14, 2009


Had a depressing weekend.

Right from Saturday when Bobo Nice handed me that card...his traditional wedding card , I haven't been able to shake off this feeling....this feeling of being left behind.

Of cos, I smiled and gushed about how happy I was for him but deep down, I felt an ache.

Don't get me wrong, I never wanted to marry him and it's not like am regretting not saying yes to his proposal. NO.

Just that well...i just feel...I don't know how to explain this sad feeling!

To worsen things he told me he was travelling this weekend to attend the wedding of a mutual friend of ours.

It was't just the fact that I wasn't invited to the wedding that saddened me...

It just feels like the train has left me behind.


Okay...okay...I know it's not the best comeback post but pls bear with me people. Will be back soon hopefully.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Bobo Nice, O & Mr. Holland Update

How una dey my peeps?

Me I just dey bubble like champagne o!

Nice anon & Madam Verastic wanted to know about Bobo Nice & Mr. Holland so here's the update:

Bobo Nice & I are still cool though there hasnt been any talk of relationship much less marriage between us since last year when he sat me down and proposed for the umpteenth time.
Sadly, I turned him down. I felt really bad for him but there was nothing I could do. My head dey scatter for O dat time sef :).
I told him I was in love with someone else and couldnt be with him. He took it badly sha and since then stopped calling as frequently as before. I guess the bobo was trying to forget me so I helped him out by not bothering him too.

This year, we've seen a couple of times and spoken too tho like i said earlier, it hasnt been as frequent as before. His birthday was yesterday and I called to wish him a happy birthday. We used to celebrate our birthdays together since they are only a few days apart(mine is Sept 2nd so start getting ur pressies ready o...).
We usually have a birthday dinner or hang out at the beach or go see a movie and we would definitely exchange gifts. Well,this year, I wasnt expecting anything of the sort seeing as we haven't been very close of late so u can imagine my surprise when i asked him how he was celebrating and he replied " As usual now...i'll come by to see you this weekend so we'll plan it". I said fine, no wahala..

Anyway, he still thinks i'm still with O and I dont intend to correct that impression. Truth is, I still don't feel he is the man I want to spend my life with.(sorry Bobo Nice Fans)

Talking about O, the guy called me some weeks back o! Telling me how he misses me and wants us to be back together. Me thinks he isn't serious and just wants to find out if I still got the hots for him. He sent me this text a few days ago:
"I miss you, what wouldnt I do for one kiss....ok...ok...I know I ask for too much but at least a great, big, warm hug will do for starters"

Imagine the cheek!
Devil go solder im yansh!,lol...(pardon my french).
I no kuku reply the maga jare.

And to even show that he is still as inconsistent as ever, he hasn't even called since the last time. talk about a leopard never changing his spots.

Back to better people jare,
Mr. holland and I have been getting on quite well o. In fact since I decided to stop harassing the poor guy on the phone(I used to be very rude yet it didnt put him off), I have actually discovered that he has a good sense of humour as in he cracks me up a lot with the silly stuff he says at times.

He is actually coming into the country to see me in a two weeks time. Yes to see moi!
Okay I admit, I hoodwinked him into coming :)
He had told me that he planned his leave for December so he could spend Xmas in Naija. Well, yours sincerely told him that maybe he would also be attending my wedding when he came cos by Xmas, I may just be settling down.
Guess what, dude called me a couple of days later to say he was going to take week off work to come down to Naija to see me so come second week in September, I'm going to meet him.
According to him, once I see him, i'll never let him go. make we dey watch now...

So far, he has quite some pluses going for him.
I have totally pissed him off several times deliberately to see his reaction and yes he had gotten really angry and sometimes vented but always calls back to apologise and say "Lets talk about it" unlike some people I used to know :0

...and then, not forgetting that he has the ability to make me laugh too.

Oh and did I mention he is from my villa? That is sure to please my folks,lol...

No, I dont love him yet o, let's wait till he comes to see if the sparks will fly by then.

Got plenty to yarn but lets save some of the tory for later, aight?

Love u all...


Wednesday, August 12, 2009


I met him a couple of months ago.

Handsome, Suave, Good dresser(you all know how i heart this!), Funny, Caring, Godfearing (I thought) and a lot more...
I should have seen the red sign blinking, I mean one couldn't be that perfect yet unsnagged by all this Lagos Chicks wey their eye dey red(I follow o!),lol...

I was wary though...
Coming from where I was with O and all...
I wasn't ready to commit my emotions to another guy just yet.
Despite his insistence that I let him in, I fastened the door to my heart and buried the key.

And just when I thought, maybe this guy was for real and decided to open up the door ajar. It turns out he was just a PRETENDER-a wolf in sheep clothing!

Somebody please tell me, are there still good guys out there?????!!!!

I can't believe that all the time, he was pleading with me: "Give me a chance baby to prove myself. I want something serious with you...Girl, I'm in LOVE with you...bla bla bla"...

...this dude was very very MARRIED!

When I heard it from E, I thought she was joking until I saw the wedding website and pictures.
It was a mega Shock for me....I mean, stuff like this was only supposed to happen in the movies and books and to make it worse, he had only just been married three months!!!

What was his agenda?

To get me to love him back, jump into his bed(I almost did o...yes he was the guy from last post) and then what??

Some guys are just bastards!

P.S: He has been calling, begging me to allow him explain. Explain what abeg??!! I just pity im wife.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Sensibly Horny,lol...

His lips on my breast ignited passions long forgotten.

As his hand wandered downwards, I knew what was coming

A part of me wanted to stop him for sensible reasons…

another wanted the pleasure to go on forever,

“Come on girl, it’s been a while!” my naughty mind urged.

Uuuuhh….aaahhhh…..stroke me…yea….like dat…yea…

The sound of his zipper brought me back to earth. Hmmm... did I really want to go this far yet?

Oh but I REALLY, TRULY want this!

I pulled his head up from my breast.

“Where is the Condom?”

“I don’t have any”

“ Whaaaaaaaaaaaat???!!! So what’s ur plan? You want to do without?

“Come on baby, it don’t matter, I won’t come inside of you…” he pleaded.

“Dude! Who is talking about coming? You aint ever heard of AIDS???”

“Come on babe, I'm clean…pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeee”

“Please ke? Okay so u are clean, do you know if I am? Abeg bros e no do me like dat!”

I went to bed horny as hell.

But I guess it’s better than risking my life for a few minutes of pleasure.

Missed u all...


Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Lunch + Room =????

Been away too long, right?
Really ...really sorry for abandoning my peeps like dat.
I could say that I've ben busy as hell...
or that I travelled for an official assignment.
But that would be a lie...
I have come here, lots of times with so much to write about, yet there was no zeal to put down anything.
I have been at your blogs, yes all ur blogs!
Read all the gists but left as silently as I came.
Dont ask me why cos I dont know...
Just had this silly reluctance to show my presence,lol...

Today, I said, warrahelll!
I'm gonna put something down on this blog whether the devil likes it or not,lol...

Got nothing much to say tho....
I've been okay, work's been good, Family's fine. Nothings's happened in my love life yet. Not that the toasters aint coming but am not ready to commit my heart to just any guy anymore especially after what happened with O.
I'm gonna take my rush.

I just got a text from one of my clients now. It read:
" Hi, Aphro, Is ABC Hotel okay for lunch? Should I book a room so that we can have a good chat? We can order Room service, if you dont mind. Pls reply."

My reply was: "ABC is okay. No need booking a room, we can chat conveniently at the restaurant. Thank you."


My people, see me see wahala o...

You wan carry me go lunch, wetin concern booking room inside that one now? Abi no be extra something this one dey find?lol...

Okay lemme explain,

This guy is married. He has been my client for more than 3 years now so we are kinda very friendly as in chat on a personal level some times.
He offered to take me to lunch sometime last year and since then I have been non commital.

Well, yesterday after a meeting I had with him. I accepted his offer for lunch.
I was especially feeling very grateful to him cos I had gone to apologise for something that happened on a job he gave my company to handle. It was my fault and I had to fix it, my boss had emphasized.
Luckily for me, he(client) graciously accepted the apology but again raised the issue of lunch which I agreed to.

Now this text message...

Men! Men!!!

Why do they do this...all the time???

But wait I thinking too far? Maybe it's just an innocent request?

Ur take guys?

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Still smoking like fire!!!!

While at work yesterday, my cousin called to say she was dropping by...
She's starting her biz and wanted some PR ideas...
"You look good!" she exclaimed when she came.
"Thanks" I replied, taking a sweeping look at myself.
Just a black shirt on a black & white skirt. What's the big deal, I thought.
Took an excuse from Mr. Boss...
Then we headed to a nearby eatery for a hearty meal and some discussion.

Discussion...going well...
Waiter calls me out to move my car cos someone needed to leave.
On my way back in...
"Excuse me Ma'am" It was the waiter.
"Yes?" I turned to him.
Handing a Business card to me...
"A customer asked me to give this to you"
Quick glance at the card. It read ...bla bla bla Motors....M.D...
"Which Customer?" I queried.
"He has left. He tried to get your attention but couldnt so he asked me to give you this so you can call him"

*Na so dem dey call?*(in my head)

Got back to the table.
Dropped Card in front of my cousin.
Eye brows raised, "What's this?" she asked
"The new style of toasting"
We both laughed.

Still eating and ideas flowing...
I glanced to the table on my left.
This dude was in really STARING at me.
Looked away...
Looked again...
He mouthed the words "Y-O-U L-O-O-K B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L"
I looked away, pretending I didnt get the message.

Mid-discussion with cousin, dude butts in.
"Sorry, but are you a wedding planner?" No dude, am not Oluwadee,lol... (In my head)
He was looking at me.
Cousin looks irritated.
I look amused. Actually I was amused.
What a line...
"No I' m not" smiling, I turn my attention back to Coz.

I was describing something to her,
She was listening attentively
He was staring stupidly,lol....
"You know, you will do very well as a marketer in a bank"
It was the guy again,
Cousin was irritated again,
I was amused, yet again.

"I am in marketing, but I dont work in a bank"
"Can I get your card?"
Split-second thinking...
It wont hurt...
He may even be a new business prospect...
"Okay" I handed over my Biz card.
"I'll call you" he said as he got up to leave.

I turn to cousin.
Now, she looks amused.
"Babe, you haven't lost it still smoking like fire!!"

*Smug Smile*

"Oh yes I am! Too bad for those who can't see it..."

Monday, March 23, 2009


My heart just broke as in literally shatter to pieces.
I thought it was already broken and I was trying to put the pieces back together...
I thought the worst was over and it could never get any more painful or worse...
But the pain I feel right now is even worse than the one I felt before.
The ache I feel in my heart is so real...
So real, I can almost touch it.

I didnt know he still had the power to hurt me like this.
Was it that somewhere in my heart, I still hoped...
or maybe somehow I still cared even when I told myself otherwise?

Why then did that little phrase I just saw on his FB page affect me so?
Why did I feel like the world was pulled off from under my feet when I read it?
I wont lie...
My eyes stung from trying to hold back the tears.
My heart beat increased from anxiety...

It was only a short phrase...
a short phrase on his FB page...
a short phrase that hurt me and broke my heart all over again...
A short phrase that said...
"In a relationship"

Of course, I didnt expect him to live a hermit's life.
I even suspected it was another woman all along...
but it still came as a shock(don't know why)

I confess
I secretly hoped...
That he was pining away...
missing me terribly...

A silly wish, I know

But guys...

He used to profess undying love to me...

We made all those crazy plans for our future together...

Its only natural that I feel this way, right?

You know that part that hurts the most?

All through the months we dated, he never put it up there
on Facebook that he was in a relationship.

Maybe I should just take him off my FB friends list.

What do y'all feel?

:( :(

Monday, March 16, 2009

Standards or Limitations??

Hey guys!

What’s good?

Happy new week to you all...

Not much have been going on in my Love life o...

Okay except for my suitor from Holland. Yea the one I spoke about in my last post. The one whose English is not Kosher(like Afrobabe puts it,lol…)

Let's call him Mr.Holland from now on...

He hasn’t relented in calling me and sending text messages despite my unfriendly attitude at times.

My younger sister even called me ‘Harsh’ once when I told him matter-of-factly on the phone:

“I can’t marry you cos you don’t have a University education…”

He wasn’t fazed by my statement anyway and replied:

“But I can always get a University education. In fact I have plans to…”

The guy seems determined sha…


My love horoscope reading today says:

“You’re a true delicacy and if others can't see that, they don't deserve you. So stop selling yourself short. Your rare qualities are a fantastic match for someone who adores you. Hooking up just to hook up is truly a waste of your time right now”

It amazes me how right on point these readings can be at times.

Here I was beginning to think maybe I should take it easy with Mr. Holland and give him a chance after all,

Now this reading don put ‘comma’ inside o…

Now people what do you think this means?

That I shouldn’t lower my standards just because I want to get married?

Talking about standards…

Why do we limit ourselves with these standards sef?

Be back shortly…

Friday, March 13, 2009

Ese o...


I have been so out of touch in blogville.

Sorry my people o...flenty flenty tins to do like Musa my maiguard says,lol...

Logged into the naija Bloggers Award page this morning only to find that I was nominated for an award- Best Personal Blog.

I just wanted to say Ese o..., Daalu nu o... Thank you everyone who nominated my blog.

I never expected to get a nomination seeing as there are so many lovely, interesting Naija blogs out there.

Even if i no win, my belle dey full with happiness.

But wait o...make una go complete wetin una start o...

Won't be bad to win the award, dont you think?

Then we'll all have a very merry party :) :)

Catch ya...

Thursday, February 19, 2009

The dream, the Vision and the Suitors...

Last night, I got a text from a secondary school friend. She is getting married this weekend and had gotten my number from another friend of ours so she sent me an invite to her wedding.
In the text she had included her wedding website so this morning, I decided to check it out.
Their's was a sweet love story. As I browsed through the website I kept telling God in my heart-“Father this is what I want, this is what I want…”
Their love story inspired me and almost made me believe that someday even I will find love.

Now to the main koko of the my gist today,

A few days back, I got a call from a strange number. It was an international call from Holland.
I picked up. The caller was strange too but he knew my name cos he went:
“Hello, am I speaking to Aphro?”
I replied in the affirmative and he went on to introduce himself.
He was from my town, had gotten my number from my cousin, blab la bla…
I instantly knew what was up.
Someone had been doing some matchmaking!

Fast forward to days later.
I have learnt more about the guy cos he has been calling everyday and we chatted a few times online.
Some stuff i have learnt...
He isn’t bad looking (seen his webcam)
He works in a transport company in Holland.
He seems honest (He told me he works as a transport officer aka Driver. Many guys will not do this. They’d rather form and feed you lies. Trust me, am talking from experience)
But wait for this…
Bobo dey ‘tagbon’ well well for im English o! meaning am not too impressed with his spoken English especially with the fact that I happen to have an excellent grasp of the language.
Na that last one spoil the whole…
One thing I appreciate in the opposite sex is a man with eloquence. A man who speaks well. A man whom I wont be too embarrassed to introduce to my friends for fear of him ‘disgracing’ me,lol…
No, he doesn’t have to speak phonetics and all, he just needs to know his tenses and not make statements like-“ I wented to work this morrrin”
Okay he is not that bad sha but am not impressed with what I have heard coming from his mouth so far.

However, the kain dream wey I dream last night don put me for ‘Gbagharia’ (Confusion).

In the dream, I was with my parents and some relations and somehow we were talking about a suitor who was asking for my hand in marriage.
I had told them that I wasn’t interested in the man cos he wasn’t my type.
My mum then replied that it was okay. If he wasn’t my type, someone better will come along.
Next thing, someone in the meeting(cant remember which of my aunts it was) shouted:
“Haaaa…don’t say that o. Don’t you know that this is spiritual. She will keep finding faults with everyman that comes her way and in the end, she’ll never marry. Let her stop finding fault and marry this man before it is too late o!”

I woke up at that point and spent sometime thinking about that dream before sleep came again.
Since morning, I have been thinking about this dream. I havnt even been able to properly concentrate on my work all day.

I recalled something a friend once told me when we were in the university.
She was one of the “born again’ ones then in school but we had a good rapport.
One day, she approached me and told me about a dream/vision she had about me.
According to her, in the dream, she had seen me with so many suitors coming around, yet I rejected each one and it was revealed to her that I had a marine husband that was determined that I’d never get married in real life. He was the one who was always making me find one fault or the other in my suitors and even if I love someone, something will come between us to break the relationship.She went further to tell me that I may end up being unmarried if I didn’t go for deliverance and reject the spiritual husband.

Anyway, I did go for deliverance then and rejected the ‘so called’ spiritual husband but that incident had stayed with me ever since.

To be honest, I have had more than my fair share of suitors. More than your average girl.
In fact, I started having suitors since I was 17years.
Many of my cousins and friends always tell me that they are surprised I am still single till date. Everyone thought I’d be married with a brood of kids by now .

I still have some suitors hanging around, begging me to accept them.

There is K who hasn’t given up all these while even after all the shabby treatment I have given him.
There is Bobo Nice who is still hoping against hope.
There is this new guy who seems quite serious.

Now what is my problem?
Why can’t I accept one of them and take the plunge?
What is it I am looking for?
Why do I seem to find faults here and there?

And to worsen matters, the man I finally met and loved decided he didn’t want to be with me.

Na wa…
Am I under a curse?
Do I have a spiritual husband for real?

What do u think guys?
Help a sister out,plzzzzzzzzzz...

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

I still search...

In a couple of days, It will be St.Valentine's day.

Sadly I am one of those who are not looking forward to it.

I wish I could go to bed on the 13th and wake up to the 15th. It's silly yea, but that's how i feel.

This is not the way I hoped things would turn out.

This is not the love-life I ordered.

I dreamt of celebrating Val's day with the one I loved-the one I would have willingly given up everything for.

But sadly, it is not going to be.

It's all good though...

I'm still alive and that counts for something, right?

As long as there is life, there is hope...

If not this year, then next year...

I wont give up in my search for lasting love.

I still search...

PS: To all of you my darling friends, happy Vals day in advance.

Thursday, January 15, 2009


I logged into my blog this morning to find a whole lot of comments.

Thanks peeps. I know you all got my back but somehow it seems as if my last post generated a lot of furore.
Apparently ‘Submission’ is a very controversial/sensitive issue for many people/couples.
After reading all your opinions, I think its only fair to voice out exactly what I feel about a woman submitting to her husband/boyfriend in a relationship.
I believe it’s not just plain this & that or black and white.
One has to apply a lot of wisdom and caution to matters of the heart. I also agree with princesa that there can’t be two captains in a ship. One person has to defer to the other.

The bible tells us that it’s the woman’s duty to defer to her husband but who says a woman can’t steer the ship for, instance? Some times a man out of LOVE can decide to let his wife/girlfriend’s decision prevail. It doesn’t mean he has let go of his position as the head of the home. It only means that he is mature enough to know that they are in the ship together and have equal stakes as individuals.
I think it all boils down to the big word-LOVE. If a man loves his wife thoroughly, submission won’t be an issue cos it will come naturally to the woman. It’s simple!

That's just my opinion. Feel free to disagree. Check out this blog too. She has something interesting to say on the issue of submission between couples.

FFF, you wanted to write about this issue too. Go ahead dear as long as no names are mentioned.

Moving on, I want to apologise for just hitting you guys with that previous post without giving you some background gist first which was why Laughter was asking if I was the one who initiated the meeting with O’s mum.

Anyway, I have decided to put up this post that I had typed before the last one. I wasn’t able to post it then and somehow, events just overtook each other.

I must warn you tho, it’s in my usual fashion, very looooong! lol…You might want to grab some popcorn and coke first ;) Oh well, just read on.

I look forward to reading ur comments meanwhile I’ll be at ur spots sooner that you know…


Hey guys!
I’m sorry if it seemed as if I had gone AWOL on you all.
First of all, let me say a very big Happy New year to everyone.
Hmmmmmphhh…*catching back my breath*
May 2009 be a year of fulfillment for all of us, Amen.

A lot’s been happening to me just that I haven’t had time to blog for a while. Been busy rounding up 2008, work and all…

Now I have a lil’ bit time, I guess I’ll just update you all on the happenings.

No I haven’t found a new love yet although there have been prospects just that they weren’t my type.

One of them was a cousin of a friend who is based in the U.S but returned to the country for the Xmas hols. I had gone to visit this friend on Xmas day, okay it was more like I had gone to eat Xmas rice at her place,lol…I hadn’t bothered to cook cos I was home alone(everyone had traveled to the Village for Xmas) and my friend had invited me to have lunch at hers so off I went.
Got there, ate and was busy chatting with her when this cousin of hers walked into the sitting room.
Her younger sister exclaimed:
“Aha! Aphro, have you met my fine cousin?”
I turned to look at the new comer.
He was fine all right but not my type of fine. For one, he was too light and looked like he used bleaching creams. That was number one minus. I didn’t want to be dragging cream in the house with my man,lol…don’t mind me ;)

I passed by him in the hallway as I was leaving their house and said goodbye but dude pulled me back and started asking for my details(name & number). I didn’t like the way he went about it but I didn’t want to embarrass him in front of my friend so I acquiesced and gave him the info he sought. His approach was number 2 minus for him tho.

Now, he is back in the U.S and has called me twice already but I don’t see any potential hook-up with him sha.

Maybe I’m still hung on O.
Scratch that, I am still hung up on him.
Yea, I know some of you might want to give me a slap right now,lol….
But the truth is that I still love him too much for my own good.
The temptation to call him has been really strong since this new year especially after my visit to Uncle E’s place on the 1st.

I had gone to visit Uncle E after I saw him at a family function and he had insisted I come by. He was alone with his wife at home when I went. All his kids were grown up now and were either married or on their own.

We had a nice time, gisting and all…Uncle E had always been fun to hang with. He has this very youthful disposition to life and always refers to himself as a ‘small boy’,lol…
His wife is also very warm so I was enjoying my time with them until talk about ‘O’ came up.
Remember his wife is O’s aunt. Refer to this post here.

So somehow the talk drifted to O. I think it was when uncle started complaining about his youngest son who worked in a bank and how he never had time for himself cos he was always working. He had even worked on Xmas day!
Then he said “It’s the same thing O’s mum is complaining about him. He is always working even on weekends, It’s too bad what these banks are doing to our young ones”

I agreed with him but also remarked that in O’s case, I seriously doubt if it was only the bank job that was keeping him busy.

Uncle laughed and retorted “What else then? Okay and you too!” His wife joined in the laughter. I had to defend myself. “Me? Noooo! He hardly even has time for me. In fact to tell you guys the truth we are no more together”

Of course, they were curious to know the whole story so I had to tell them. His aunt(uncle E’s wife) kept insisting that there was no other girl and it was his work at the bank that was keeping him always busy. Uncle was of the opinion that he wouldn’t vouch for him cos he was a young man and anything was possible.

Uncle E’s wife also mentioned that she had spoken to him a few days back and enquired about me. According to her he didn’t say anything to suggest that we had broken up. I only replied that maybe he didn’t want them to know.

They however said they were going to call him to hear his own side of the matter despite my insisting that it wasn’t necessary and I didn’t want him (O) to feel as if I came to report to them so that they could talk to him.

Later that same evening, when I was at home. Guess who called?
O’s mum.
She had called to wish me a happy new year and then she asked the question again:
“What is happening, why haven’t we been seeing you?”
I tried to dodge the question by saying it was nothing.
Then she said “I want to see you. Can you come by the house sometime?”
I answered “Okay ma

I have been thinking whether to go see her or not. Maybe Uncle E’s wife had talked to her. I don’t want O to start feeling important or anything like that. His ego is already big enough but I also don’t want to appear disrespectful to O’s mum.

What do u guys think?

More gist...

Ehen…O and I had a long midnight conversation last night.
It all started with a text he sent that read thus:

“I’m listening to your boy Chris Brown singing our song-‘With you’ and am hearing the song in your voice. Why did you change and plunge us into this state of existence? Why Aphro?”

I didn’t quite understand him so I sent a reply:
“Me, plunge us into this state? It was you who decided you had had enough of the relationship and stayed away. I only left you alone to lick my wounds in private. Am not surprised tho, it’s always my fault when things go wrong”

He replied:
“Nne m, its not like that. I have my faults too. U just don’t strike me as making enough effort to meet me halfway on issues. If I didn’t come to you, why didn’t you attempt to come to me?”

My reply:
U talk about meeting you halfway when you didn’t even take a step? Maybe am old fashioned but I still believe a man should make the first move and the woman will follow”

“Remember when u would come see me on ur way out of the office. I always felt so happy seeing you. Was that old fashioned?

"That should tell you, I would do much more only if I felt that u cared for me. I stopped coming when I stopped feeling loved. U stopped caring and treated me like trash”

“It would be a Herculean task to stop caring about you, if not impossible”

I was tired of the back and forth texting so I called him. It was midnight and already ‘Free calls time’.
We talked for quite some time. Mostly about how we ended up where we were. For him, it was our regular quarrels over silly stuffs that made him stay away. I still held my opinion that if he loved me he wouldn’t give up on the relationship but try to work things out.
I cant really recall all we talked about that night but I remember getting pissed at some things he said. Like when he said:

“Aphro, if we come back together, I’m going to have to be hard on you. I think I spoilt you and let you get away with some things. You are stubborn and I admit, I am too but we can’t keep struggling for supremacy in this relationship. It’s not possible”

I wanted to take him up on that statement but realized that things were still delicate at that point and I didn’t want to worsen the situation so I pretended I didn’t hear him.

We didn’t come to any conclusion that night cos his phone battery went dead and we couldn’t continue talking.

That was two days before the meeting at his mother’s.

Now, I don’t really know what the situation is…if we are back together or not.
We’ve been communicating but there is still a lot of underlying issues that we need to thrash.
A guy pal said to me yesterday:

“Aphro, you really love this guy so you just need to accept him the way he is and learn how to follow him so you guys won’t be having any more quarrels”

I agree I love him but does this mean I have to sentence myself to a life of unhappiness?

I deserve to be loved the way I want. I deserve it!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

To comply or not...

So his mum called us for a meeting last Sunday.

Just me, him and her.

And she pointed out where we had both gone wrong

So we both said “I’m sorry” to each other

And promised to put the past behind us.

Obviously she loves me and wants me for a daughter-in-law

But her son’s got to love me too, innit?

She played all those childish games:

“Oya Aphro, go and sit on his laps…” “O, you go and hug her…”

And even though I found it all funny

The bitter taste of rejection and hurt lingers on in my mouth.

It’s not as easy as she made it seem

We still got a lot of issues to resolve

Like our silly quarrels over nothing

He also gave a condition…

“We can't both be captains in this relationship, Aphro. You’ve got to be the woman and let me be the man”

His mum concurred “My dear, you have to be submissive. I was too to my husband and he loved me until his death”

I agree, a woman should be submissive but do I have to lose my sense of self.

Do I have to agree to all he says even when I don’t feel like?

Can’t I even voice my own views without him thinking am trying to dominate him?

I have always had a strong personality…never been the meek type.

Why do I have to be someone else now?

I always thought, love should accept you the way you are and not try to change you.

It’s up to you, he said.

Comply or Forget me.