The dream, the Vision and the Suitors...

Last night, I got a text from a secondary school friend. She is getting married this weekend and had gotten my number from another friend of ours so she sent me an invite to her wedding.
In the text she had included her wedding website so this morning, I decided to check it out.
Their's was a sweet love story. As I browsed through the website I kept telling God in my heart-“Father this is what I want, this is what I want…”
Their love story inspired me and almost made me believe that someday even I will find love.

Now to the main koko of the my gist today,

A few days back, I got a call from a strange number. It was an international call from Holland.
I picked up. The caller was strange too but he knew my name cos he went:
“Hello, am I speaking to Aphro?”
I replied in the affirmative and he went on to introduce himself.
He was from my town, had gotten my number from my cousin, blab la bla…
I instantly knew what was up.
Someone had been doing some matchmaking!

Fast forward to days later.
I have learnt more about the guy cos he has been calling everyday and we chatted a few times online.
Some stuff i have learnt...
He isn’t bad looking (seen his webcam)
He works in a transport company in Holland.
He seems honest (He told me he works as a transport officer aka Driver. Many guys will not do this. They’d rather form and feed you lies. Trust me, am talking from experience)
But wait for this…
Bobo dey ‘tagbon’ well well for im English o! meaning am not too impressed with his spoken English especially with the fact that I happen to have an excellent grasp of the language.
Na that last one spoil the whole matter.lol…
One thing I appreciate in the opposite sex is a man with eloquence. A man who speaks well. A man whom I wont be too embarrassed to introduce to my friends for fear of him ‘disgracing’ me,lol…
No, he doesn’t have to speak phonetics and all, he just needs to know his tenses and not make statements like-“ I wented to work this morrrin”
LOL….
Okay he is not that bad sha but am not impressed with what I have heard coming from his mouth so far.

However, the kain dream wey I dream last night don put me for ‘Gbagharia’ (Confusion).

In the dream, I was with my parents and some relations and somehow we were talking about a suitor who was asking for my hand in marriage.
I had told them that I wasn’t interested in the man cos he wasn’t my type.
My mum then replied that it was okay. If he wasn’t my type, someone better will come along.
Next thing, someone in the meeting(cant remember which of my aunts it was) shouted:
“Haaaa…don’t say that o. Don’t you know that this is spiritual. She will keep finding faults with everyman that comes her way and in the end, she’ll never marry. Let her stop finding fault and marry this man before it is too late o!”

I woke up at that point and spent sometime thinking about that dream before sleep came again.
Since morning, I have been thinking about this dream. I havnt even been able to properly concentrate on my work all day.

I recalled something a friend once told me when we were in the university.
She was one of the “born again’ ones then in school but we had a good rapport.
One day, she approached me and told me about a dream/vision she had about me.
According to her, in the dream, she had seen me with so many suitors coming around, yet I rejected each one and it was revealed to her that I had a marine husband that was determined that I’d never get married in real life. He was the one who was always making me find one fault or the other in my suitors and even if I love someone, something will come between us to break the relationship.She went further to tell me that I may end up being unmarried if I didn’t go for deliverance and reject the spiritual husband.

Anyway, I did go for deliverance then and rejected the ‘so called’ spiritual husband but that incident had stayed with me ever since.

To be honest, I have had more than my fair share of suitors. More than your average girl.
In fact, I started having suitors since I was 17years.
Many of my cousins and friends always tell me that they are surprised I am still single till date. Everyone thought I’d be married with a brood of kids by now .


I still have some suitors hanging around, begging me to accept them.

There is K who hasn’t given up all these while even after all the shabby treatment I have given him.
There is Bobo Nice who is still hoping against hope.
There is this new guy who seems quite serious.

Now what is my problem?
Why can’t I accept one of them and take the plunge?
What is it I am looking for?
Why do I seem to find faults here and there?

And to worsen matters, the man I finally met and loved decided he didn’t want to be with me.

Na wa…
Am I under a curse?
Do I have a spiritual husband for real?

What do u think guys?
Help a sister out,plzzzzzzzzzz...

Dogs, Text messages & Mixed Vibes

Living with Dogs have taught me one thing.
They are very greedy and selfish.
A dog may not want something but would rather hold on to it that let another person/dog have it.
If it’s a bone, that one na another matter,lol…

I just realized that O is acting like the typical Dog.

Bobo no want me again, I mean he showed me all the signs- Not calling, Not replying messages, Not picking his calls, always too busy to find time for me and all.

He even confirmed it(See last post)
He was staying away cos we’ve been having too many issues of late(his own words).

So what was I expected to do.
Stay put and let another man rub shit in my face?

No way!

I decided to move on.

I spoke to an older friend(yea, the same older friend I normally talk to) who is very experienced in love matters.

His advice was that I should send him a text of Finality.
A text that would show him that I was moving on.

According to him(my friend) his response will determine the next course of action.

I argued. “I don’t want to send any text… He wouldn’t even reply the text”

In response, my friend said:
“Aphro dear, if he doesn’t bother to reply the text then please, I beg you….PLEASE forget the guy, he doesn’t deserve you. Cut every tie between the both of you and move on. The man who will appreciate you will come.”

I finally agreed to send the text.

“We don’t have to be strangers just because we are no more in a relationship. My prayer for you is that you find someone to love and who will love you the way you always wanted. Bye.”

Surprisingly, he replied immediately.

“We need to talk. Will find time during the week to come by. Is that okay?”

I replied: “It’s okay”


During the week, he called me one evening on my way home from work to say he was about to leave the office to my place. I wasn’t home yet and it would still be an hour or so before I got home so I told him not to bother coming cos I was still far from home.

He said Fine. Tomorrow then?

Okay. I replied.

He went on.
“So why haven’t you called all this while?”

I was surprised at the question.
“Call? Have you forgotten that you normally ignore my calls?”
“Aphro, I would never ignore your calls baby…”
“Ha ha ha, that’s really funny, I cant believe you are saying that. Anyway, lets not argue. We’ll talk when we see”

The next day, I was missing him so I sent a text.
“How are you? Miss me?”

His reply came in immediately.
“Am doing okay dear. Do you miss me?”

I replied.
“I asked you a question and you replied with the same question”

His reply:
“I have been thinking about you everyday Aphro. I began to call other peeps your name. You mean so much to me. I didn’t mean to stay away, just dat I don’t wanna cos you more pain”

My reply:
“I really cant understand how staying away is supposed to make things better. A relationship can only succeed if the two people involved work at it equally. Sometimes I feel that you are not ready for serious commitment. That can only be the explanation for your actions.”

His reply:
“It’s not that dear. I am ready to settle down but at times you seem like someone else to me and we both become stubborn and misunderstand each other. I stay away cos I am confused”

Me:
“You say we both become stubborn, right? You know how we women get at times, you are the man, you should know how to calm me down and let me understand you”

Him:
“Yes, That is what u have decided and the feelings I have for you are noble enough for me to do the right thing and calm you down when the troubles begin to rage between us”

Me:
“You decided that? Who gave you that advice? Anyway we'll see later. am leaving for home now.”

That was the text banter we had.

I was supposed to see him last week but he didn’t show up.

I put it down to his been very busy at work and reasoned, the weekend was coming and there was the sallah hols on Monday & Tuesday so no matter how bad it was, he would be able to make out time during those four days to see me for the talk we were supposed to have.

Saturday came and went.
No word from him.
Sunday too.

Monday evening, I sent a text.
“I thought we were meant to see but unfortunately, you are too busy even on public hols. Hope you enjoyed urself today”

He replied:
“Sugar, I didn’t enjoy myself o! I was at the office all day. My pathetic story with my bank continues. Will try to come by tomorrow if I can”

Yeah right! I thought. I wasn’t buying that spending all day in the bank shit!

On Tuesday, I was determined not to stay at home waiting for his call so I went out with a girl pal of mine. We had fun and I was able to forget about him for a while until I got home.
Around 8pm, I couldn’t resist the temptation to call to find out if he was still coming.
The phone rang for a while and then cut off. He didn’t answer.

I slept off that night with my phone beside my pillow thinking he would call.

The next morning, I saw his text message.
“Hi angel, sorry I missed your call. Was meant to come over but didn’t finish at the office till about 10pm. I could have still come down to your place but I knew it would be too late for you to come out of your house”


I didn’t bother to reply it.
Jerk! What stopped him from calling back when he saw my missed call?!


I had started to gradually condition my mind to forgetting him finally.
I was really suceeding at it o cos I realized that I wasn’t thinking of him as much as I used to.
I admit, his not calling all these while kinda made things easier.

Only to get this text last nite:
“Listening to some of the love songs you used to sing to me and remembering how we fell in love, thinking of your beautiful face and our first tender moments. I miss you.”

Now it’s obvious, this guy is playing some serious game with me.
He doesn’t have the right to toy with my emotions this way.
He no want…He want…
Which one I go take?

He had better be clear as to what he wants cos I don’t want to be the bone in this dog's paw no longer...

I see that fine mongrel eyeing me,lol....

Katch ya guys!

Unexpected morning visit

Oh my God!
Guys guess who just left my office now.
O!
I was standing at the reception talking with a colleague when he walked in. My heart did a backflip, I swear. You know, it was just so unexpected like he is the last person I expected to see this morning.
I led the way to my office and thankfully, my colleague who I shared office with wasn’t around so we had all the privacy we needed.
Long and short of the tory is that. Bobo has been miserable for the past one week and doesn’t want me to give up on us easily. I told him, I had already given up and was trying to heal. He said he was going to pretend he didn’t hear that. “Trying to heal over what now?” he asked.

Anyway, he is ready to meet my folks and wants me to meet his mum but then again he still wants us to take things a bit slow. In his own words “Let’s us grow together Aphrodite”.
I asked him “O tell me the truth, do you think you are psychologically ready for marriage” and his reply was “Yes I am very ready”.
"I hope I am not pressuring you or anthing. I want my husband to be crazy about marrying me and not feel that that I pressured him into doing so"
"Babes, stop saying that now. I am crazy about you, serious!"

Me I don’t know what to do again o. I’m kinda confused. I am still very much in love with him. In fact lemme confess. He was sitting far from me o, but do you know when he left, I realized my panties were soaking wet. Kai dis my treacherous body!

He has left now. He had an official assignment outside the office and used the opportunity to drop by although he promised to come back as soon as he is through with the assignment.

The last thing he said to me before he left was “Aphrodite, I love you. I really do”.

Jesu!

O or X?

Helloooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!
The truant is back!
Yes o, no be for only school na im person dey be truant o. I have given myself the title-“Ogbonge truant of Blogville”,lol…
First of all, let me apologize to those that haven’t seen me at their blogs. Really am truly sorry but you know the reason now…work! I dey try small sha to pop in once in a while but it’s not been easy I must confess. I hail those who are able to update everyday and check all the blogs cos e no easy ra ra…

Secondly, I’ll like to thank everyone who drops by to read and comment. I appreciate all of you and y’all make me look forward to coming here everytime.

Okay that done. Now to give u the latest gist.

O finally broke the silence by Monday evening. He sent a text asking how I was and all. I replied his text telling him I was doing fine and asking after his affairs too. A few minutes after I sent the text, he called. I guess he was probably waiting for the green light(my reply) lol…

We spoke at length. He apologized for blanking me out and I accepted his apologies. However, I told him I didn’t like his way of cutting me out each time we had an argument and he promised he was going to stop doing that.

So we made up.

I haven’t spoken about X for some time now and it’s not becos we haven’t been in touch. We have been seeing each other; you all know his office is just opposite mine so he comes in regularly to say hi. Then again we live in the same vicinity so he comes around to the house sometimes. I must admit that I haven’t been discouraging him. Truthfully, he has been exceptionally good to me. Really caring and all…it’s almost like we are back to the way we used to be.

Am sure peeps like Charizard and LG go don dey frown by now,lol…

Okay I confess, I have started liking X all over again o. Maybe its becos O has been acting sme-sme of late and X has been like the perfect boyfriend model. I don’t know if that’s the reason but I sha know I am liking the guy even though my likeness never reach the point wey I go dey accept im sexual advances,lol…

Sometime last week, X was in my house and my folks had all gone out. We were watching TV together when small time bobo come begin to dey rub my body and come dey try to kiss me. I put on this fierce face and told him to “Stop... I don’t want!” Then I moved over to another couch. The bobo didn’t like it but wetin im go do? True am feeling him but not to that level yet. Man must tread cautiously abeg and O still dey there sef.

Anyway some times when we are together and O calls. I see the look X gives me but I sha ignore him. Once, I got a text from O and as I was reading it, I forgot X was there and I was smiling this goofy smile. When I finish reading and looked up, X was looking at me with a funny look on his face. I asked him “What?” and he said “That was a guy’s text that is making you smile abi?” I didn’t reply.

Then I asked him a question.

“Are we back together, what are we really doing?”
He says. “Yes we are back together babe”
Am like, “How did that happen…you do remember I told you there was someone in my life?”
He goes. “Yes I do and now you mention it, we need to talk about it. I noticed you have been receiving phone calls from some guy and text messages too. I know you’ve said it before but I didn’t believe you. Now I want to hear it from you again. Do you have another guy?”
I look at his face and see the seriousness. “Yes I do, am seeing another guy”
He looks like he had just been slapped and I noticed he tries to pull himself together and give me that macho attitude that guys give.
“Okay so now we need to get this settled finally. You have been with me and now you are with this guy. I want you back, in fact I want to marry you but I don’t want to be the second guy in your life. It’s either me or that guy. I want you to choose now so we can sort this once and for all”

The last time this came up between X and I , I somehow got out of it, now this is looking really tight!

Most of you probbably think i should tell X off and stick with O but It's not that easy. I couldn't! At that point when X asked me to choose, I realized that I still feel something for him a lot of things flashed through my mind. I remembered when we used to date and how good and caring he always was. X always went out of his way to ensure i was happy. He never gave me attitude like O does sometimes. Even when I misbehave he is always quick to forgive and forget. Do I really want to give up X for O?

And then I remembered the last time I was with O. That was a day after we had made up over the phone. We hung out after work and he had apologized all over again, saying he was going to put in more effort to make our relationship work.
I had asked him the ultimate question most unserious guys hate to hear. “What do you want out of this relationship”. I didn’t mean to pressure him to say he wanted to marry me o, I just wanted to psych him up a little.
His response was: “I really care about you babe and want you in my life but I want us to take this one day at a time”

O wants to take things a day at a time.
X wants to marry me today today

What do I want?
I want to marry a man that I love and respect and who will love and respect me forever.

The question now is who will that man be? O or X.

O hasn’t proposed o and X seems to be getting impatient for an answer.

Una fit help me for this one?

Happy weekend everyone!

Stuck in the middle of O and X

So I have been gone for a while. Am sorry guys but duty called and blogging does not put food on my table:), a girl's gat to work for her pay, right?

Anyway, lots have been happening o, I don’t even know where to start from. I must warn you all at this point that this post promises to be a long one o! So grab a snack, sit back and relax as I nack una tory,lol…

Those that have been following my gist know who O and Mr. X are. For those who don’t know, O is my current bobo while Mr. X as his name sounds is my ex-boyfriend.

Some weeks back, I blogged about how Mr. X was staging a serious comeback into my life and proposing marriage.
Well I ‘ll take my gist back to weeks back too. Mr. X had called me that evening to say he was at my house gate and I should come and open the gate for him. I had told him to stop visiting my home so I don’t send the wrong signals to my folks. Knowing my mum, it wont be long before she started asking if we were back together and i was yet to bring O home cos I didn’t know what their reaction would be since he wasn’t Ibo.

So that evening when X came calling, I was in a sour mood. I had been expecting O’s call all day to no avail so I was kinda pissed before X called to say he was at my gate. He wasn’t the one I wanted to see so I snappily told him that he had come at the wrong time and I was sleeping. He wasn’t going to go back so easily without seeing me so he kept pleading that I come down even for 5 mins so he could see my face. I was getting really annoyed at his insistence and when he said “Please honey, just come down so I can give you a kiss before before I leave”, I couldn’t help retorting “Kiss? I have told you to stop deceiving urself, I am not ur girlfriend so stop acting like I am, if you insist on carrying in this way, I’ll have to stop answering ur calls. I am sleeping so just go!”.
I said some more rude stuff to him so I wasn’t surprised when his tone grew angry and he told me that he didn’t like the way I talked to him. He was being nice and caring to me while I always treated him like shit. He was saying “Aphrodite, what do you mean by you will stop taking my calls, you have to mind the things you say to me…” I didn’t wait to listen to the rest of his tirade, I ended the call. Rude… I know…I wanted to be rude.

A while later when i thought about what had happened, I felt remorse at the attitude I had given him and all because of O who didn’t even call me much less visiting. I felt like calling him-X to apologize but I decided to leave things till the following day.

I didn’t call the next day. Two days later, I called him. I thought he was probably still mad at our exchange the last time so I was surprised when I called and he sounded really calm and sweet like nothing happened. He even told me he had wanted to visit me at work that day but couldn’t because of work pressure at his office. When I said I was sorry about how I dropped the phone on him during our last conversation, he quickly accepted my apologies and said that it was okay. He obviously didn’t expect that I would call to apologise so it had come as a surprise to him. Before we ended the conversation, he told me he wasn’t feeling very well and wanted to go to the hospital the next day.

Fast forward to days later, X hadn’t called me unlike him so I called to find out if he was okay.(Guys, I remembered ur advice on how I should not close the door totally on X till I was sure of things with O). It turned out that since the last time we spoke, his sickness had gotten worse and he hadn’t even been going to work. Well, I kept calling each day to check up on him but I realised that he was getting the impression that my calls meant that I had accepted him back into my life cos he kept saying things like- “Come down to the house and prepare Ukwa(an ibo delicacy) for me” or “I was expecting that you would visit after work today”.
He was ill and I didn’t want us to get into any argument so I always replied that I was very busy in the office and couldn’t come.

Meanwhile things with O were going on well although I was feeling that he wasn’t paying me enough attention. He wasn’t calling as often as I would have liked and when I complained that I was feeling neglected, he always apologised and explained that he was caught up with stuff at the office. It was during that period, I wrote my previous post on how I needed some reassurance that he really cared about me the way I did for him.

This gist is getting too long sha. I better get to summarizing sharpish.

Last weekend, I didn’t see O. He had to work Saturday(told you guys some time ago that he is a banker). He had promised to see me after his work that day only to call back and tell me that his car had developed a problem and he wouldn’t be able to make it down as agreed. I told him it was okay although I really wanted to see him. I had even made a new hairdo that day and wanted him to see it. Too bad.

Sunday came and O called to say his car was still bad. Something about overheating and a leaking radiator. He couldn’t drive it until his mechanic had a look at it which wouldn’t be until Monday. I resigned myself to not seeing him again and went out to visit my cousin who had just given birth to a baby girl.

When I returned, X called to say he was around my neighbourhood and wanted to see me. I told him to wait outside my house and went down to meet him. We took a walk down to this cool spot where we used to go in the old days when we were still an item. Then we would go there, sit on the huge stones and gist for long periods.
So that Sunday evening, we went there. It was the first time we would be going there since our break-up more than a year ago. I felt we needed to talk. He needed to understand that my show of concern during his illness was just that-a show of concern from a friend- and didn’t signify that we were back together or that I had broken off my relationship with O although he had never accepted the fact that I was in a relationship anyway.

So I brought up the issue. I told him not to misinterpret my actions during his illness. He laughed as if I had said the funniest thing in the world. He said I was his and that no man could take me away from him. He insisted I wasn’t dating anyone and was only telling him that to make him jealous. Even after showing him some of O’s text messages on my phone, he still refused to acknowledge him. We talked for hours, him pleading that we should start afresh and me insisting I couldn’t just end my relationship with my boyfriend cos he asked it.
I asked him “Why didn’t you just stay out of my life? Why did you have to come back and make things complicated for me?”
I wasn’t prepared for his reply. “Seriously now, do you really want me to leave you? Should I stop coming around you and just forget you?”
Meeen…this was the point where I needed to stamp my foot on the ground and say a very solid YES! But guess what people, I was tongue tied. I didn’t know what to say. His question was very serious and he sounded very final about it like if I just say yes, he would leave and never bother me again. I wasn’t too sure if that was what I really wanted anymore. These past weeks, he had been really loving, bringing back memories of how good we were together. Unlike O, he really showers me with attention the way I like not to forget that he is Ibo and catholic like me. My folks like him and am not sure if they would accept O.
All these were thoughts racing through my mind as I sat there. He was looking at me, waiting for an answer to his question then he asked again. “Do you want me to leave you alone? If that’s what you want, then I will cos I don’t want you mentioning another guy again after today”
I looked into his face and I knew he meant every word he was saying.
“Can I give you an answer when next we see?”
“No, i need an answer now”
“I said I’ll give you an answer when next we see”
“And when will that be? Tomorrow?”
“No not tomorrow…next Saturday, I’ll definitely have an answer for you by then”

That’s it friends. I still haven’t decided what to do next. I have two options before me.
One, accept X back and leave O or Two, tell X to go to hell and stick with O.

I should also add that yesterday-Monday, O surprised me by showing up very early in my office. He said he had some official errand to run in the area and wanted to use that opportunity to see me since he had missed me so much. I was very happy. It’s the little things like that bring the smile to my face. Later on in the day, I was chatting with O online and brought up the issue of my ex. I told him X wanted us to get back together and I needed to know exactly how he felt about me cos sometimes I am not so sure if his feelings for me are really strong and not just some fickle infatuation cos i've got a pretty face and a nice body.
I wanted to hear him say how much he loved me and how it would break his heart if I left him for some other guy and how he would give me more attention from now on.
He didn’t say any of that. Instead he asked me what I wanted to do. His question was: “So do you want to go back with ur ex?” I replied “No but I need to know that you will be there for me always”.
His reply was that he was the one who wasnt sure of me and my feelings for him.
Later that night, he sent me a text message that read- “I feel like I have already lost you”.

Guys I have to stop here now cos if una leave me I go just dey yarn dey go.
I need your sincere advice everyone.