A Post in Two parts.

*Very Very long post alert* Read at ur own discretion,lol...

Sorry guys for not putting up this post earlier. Just been caught up with so many other stuffs. I haven’t been very happy too. Yea, O is the cause, who else? Fineboy agbero, oya gloat all you want, lol…

Am sure most of you already know that we were blessed with a long holiday these past days. FIVE WHOLE DAYS to rest and play! It was meant to be a wonderful one. I made so many plans. Plans on how I and O would spend the holiday together, enjoying each others company. Something which we haven’t been able to do in a while cos of his crazy work schedule. He is always working, even most weekends so you see why I was very excited about the holidays especially as it coincided with their bank’s financial year end and he had promised me that we would have enough time to spend with each other.

Things didn’t go as planned. We had one of our worst lovers tiffs during the period and well, yea the hols turned out to be a sad, boring and depressing one for me. I don’t know how it was for him. I dont know If he was as miserable as I was, but then he stayed away so I guess he was comfortable with the situation.

Why am I rambling?

I am supposed to gist you guys how the meeting with Sister Prayer warrior on Friday went. Okay I better start with that gist first, will still get to I and O’s issues later.

This post will be in two parts.

PART 1- MEETING WITH S.P
Friday morning, I didn’t go to work. I dressed up as decently as I could(Not that I don’t dress decently before o, just that I needed to polish up my good girl image,lol…). In my long gown, jacket and scarf, I drove down to Sister Prayer’s place. Incidentally, She lived in my vicinity so it was more like a 5mins drive.
My friend had told me she starts to see people from 9a.m so I wanted to get there on time cos I assumed there were going to lots of people there(you all know how our Naija peeps love prophecy and miracles) and I didn’t want to be the last on the line.

I got to Sister Prayer’s house at about five mins to Nine. It was a nice looking compound with a big white house. It wasn’t the usual prayer house setting. She held her prayers and consultations with people in her living room. It was more like a group of close family friends having a tea party thing, u get? I discovered that it wasn’t a crowd affair. All through the time I was there up till when she finally saw me, there were only about 8 of us. Three I had met there when I came and four others who came later. I shouldn’t have worried about coming late and being last in line cos there was no line. I learnt from one of the ladies I met there that sister prayer didn’t start her office till 10a.m so I had to wait one extra hour after I got there. I soon drifted off to sleep while waiting. Don’t blame me, the cushion was plush,lol…

From the look of her home, It was obvious Sister Prayer and her family were not hungry people. I remembered my friend telling me that she didn’t accept money or gifts from people. She always said that Jesus was providing for her family and she didn’t need anyone’s money. That helped to reduce my skepticism cos I was always wary of those prayer warriors that ask you to bring money for all sorts of things ranging from oil to candles and all what not. Some even tell you to pay for people who will fast for you if you cant do it urself, imagine!

Back to my gist…

At about 10a.m, Sister prayer(let’s call her S.P from now) came into the living room. She wasn’t as old as I had expected. She looked to be in her early forties. She greeted everyone and asked that we knelt down for prayers. Sorry, I didn t menton this earlier. S.P is catholic which was one reason I agreed to go see her. I am also catholic and I can tell you that in the catholic church, stuffs like prophets, visioners, prayer warriors are not that common. The church frowns at them not cos it is wrong or anything but because they believe that a lot of times, it is difficult to discern btw those who are working with the power of God and the fake ones who are working with the devil so before the church recognizes a person to be a prophet/prayer warrior they must have done a lot of investigations spiritually and otherwise to be sure he/she is working under the dictates of the holy spirit. I decided to go see S.P cos my friend also told me that the priests in my parish recognized her and were aware that she held prayers and counseling sessions in her home.

After the prayers, she started to call people one after the other to a corner of the living room(the dining area) where she had set up a mini-office.
Soon enough, it got to my turn. After introducing myself, I explained the reason I was there. I was having a lot of suitors and I needed to know the will of God concerning my marriage. She smiled and spoke very softly(She had the softest voice). She talked about how first of all, I needed to amend my life and get closer to God in prayers. She asked about the last time I received communion which I must confess had been a long time (Una no say aphro na big sinner now. Number 1 sin-FORNICATION,it’s a sin whether we like to admit it or not).
We talked for a while. During the discussion, she made me see reason why I needed to go to confession and renew my relationship with God all over. She also gave me some prayers to say for a month after which I should come back to see her and by then she would have a message from God for me.
It wasn’t what I had expected. I mean, I had expected her to lay hands on me or something and start seeing visions or something but it wasn’t like that. It was more like a conversation with a friend. She made me feel very comfortable and after the session, my heart was made up that she was for real. I must add tho that while she was talking, I was wondering what to do with O cos if I go to confession, I couldn’t continue in the same sin. I couldn’t continue making love with him although am not sure if kissing and touchery is also out of the question.
Guys, I need your opinion on this. Am thinking, if he is really sincere, it shouldn’t be a problem, right?

I haven’t started the prayers yet. I plan to go for confession this weekend then start the prayers afterwards.

Okay, so that was how my meeting with S.P went.

PART 2- HOLIDAY QUARREL
O had told me some time past that his mum was eager to meet me and he wanted me to meet her on Sunday(last Sunday). I agreed.

So Sunday morning, after church, He called to say he was coming to get me in the afternoon. I was apprehensive. What if she didn’t like me? What if I didn’t like her? He waved off my fears saying she loved me already and It was just a formality.

So I got dressed up, looking like a cute, good girl in my white shirt and red top,lol…

To cut long story short. The meeting with his mum went well. we hit it off rightaway. She regaled me with gists about O from when he was a kid. It was obvious she thought the world of her son. I laughed hard when she said “My son is a hot cake o!” I responded “Mama, I am a hot cake too o…ask my mama” All in all, it was a fun meeting. She brought out a bottle of wine and asked O to say a prayer over it. It was funny cos I didn’t know he could pray like dat. After the prayer, we shared the drink while listening to his mum's non-stop gists.

O stylishly whispered in my ears that we had to leave cos his mum would go on and on if we let her. Hugs and bye-byes done, we left for the mall to see a movie.

We didn’t do the movie again cos it was too late when we got there and I didn’t want to stay out too late. So we decided to do some window shopping in some of the stores there. While walking around the stores, I noticed O wasn’t looking bright and he wasn’t responding to me like before. I kept asking what was wrong with him and he kept saying “nothing, I’m okay”. It was soon obvious that he wasn’t okay and I kept badgering him to tell me what was wrong. After much pressure he told me he wasn’t feeling too well, he was feeling dizzy. I insisted we sit down somewhere so he could rest. After some time, I asked if he was feeling better and he said yes. It was getting late so we had to leave. I offered to drive us home even tho I don’t drive a manual car but he refused saying he could manage. As we walked to the car park, I noticed he kept wincing so I asked again how he was feeling. He didn’t reply. I kept asking but he wasn’t talking.

On the drive back home, I asked again. He still didn’t talk, just kept wincing like he was in pain. Then I asked If there was anything I could do to make him feel better. He said No, and that just being there was enough. Seeing as he didn’t want to talk anymore I decided to keep quiet but in my heart I was feeling sad and miserable cos I didn’t like to see him like dat.

At a point, during the drive he spoke:
“Aphro, why are you sulking? Be yourself, sing, dance for me like you used to”
But I wasn’t in the mood for singing and dancing so I replied “I don’t feel like…”
We didn’t talk to each other after that although I kept sneaking glances at him. He had stopped wincing and was beginning to look okay. I soon drifted off to sleep only to wake up when he drove into my close. I turned to look at him and he asked “So have you finished sulking?” I was like “I wasn’t sulking, just felt that you didn’t want to talk so I kept quiet”
Next he started talking about how uncaring I was and how I was supposed to know what to do to make him feel okay. I was like "What did you expect me to do? You weren’t even talking to me. When I asked how you were feeling, you wouldn’t respond. I just assumed you wanted to be left alone"

I don’t even know how it happened but next thing, he was screaming at me“Stop it aphro, just stop it! I am fed up of this attitude of yours. It doesn’t always have to be about you everytime"….I was shocked at his outburst. This wasn’t the first time he was making that statement about it being all about me always.
“All about me? You keep saying this everytime when it is really you who makes it all about you everytime…” I tried to stop the tears but they were already flowing. When he saw I was crying, he reached for my hands and stroked them while I cried on in silence. I finally pulled myself together and said quietly “I should be going”. He nodded and I got down from the car. No goodbyes, no kisses, nothing.
Maybe I shouldn’t have left that way but I felt hurt at what he had said. There I was trying to reach out to him, if possible bear some of his pain and he wasn’t responding to me. Maybe I shouldn’t have given up easily, maybe I should have tried another approach to make him feel better but one thing I know is I never make it all about me like he said.

Later when I had calmed down, I sent him a text.
“Hope you got home safe. Sorry for this evening. I really wished I could do some thing to lessen ur pain but sadly I couldn’t be for you what you wanted. I want ur happiness always but I may not be the girl for you. Loved meeting ur mum anyway, she is cool. Good night”

His reply didn’t come until after I had slept. I saw his missed calls and text the next morning.
“Nice touch about you not being the girl for me. It’s very amusing especially after just meeting my mum. Trying to tell me something?”

Later that Monday he called on the phone. Our conversation went something like this:
O: How are you? Haven’t you been seeing my missed calls?
Me: I have…
O: So? You couldn’t call back or what?
Me: I didn’t have credit(Lie)
O: Okay. So what did you mean by you not been the girl for me?
Me: Just what I meant. That maybe we are not meant for each other. I have never been a quarrelling person but with you, its almost as if we are always quarrelling over the littlest things
O: Oh yea? You know what Aphro? If that’s the way you see it, then do what you want.
The line went dead. He dropped the phone.
I couldn’t believe it. Did he just drop the phone on me? I wanted him to apologise for making me cry yesterday and here he was dropping the phone on me. I made up my mind, I wasn’t going to call him. If that’s the way the relationship would end, then so be it.

Meeeen, this has got to be my longest post ever!

To wrap up this gist, he didn’t call back. I didn’t call him too so the rest of Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday was spent with me wallowing in depression, resisting the temptation to call him and wishing he would call. I had to drag myself out on Wednesday to go see a movie although it wasn’t fun without him. I even sent him a text to wish him a happy independence day which he didn’t reply.

Thursday morning, I finally called him. I was upset he hadn’t bothered to check on me or even reply my text. He couldn’t give any excuse and apologized for not replying or calling. Later he sent me a text:
“Happy Independence day my love. This text is dated 01/10/08”

Can you believe this guy?!!!

Maybe I should just forget about this whole love business and settle with B.G, K or Bobo Nice.

The stress is too much!

Ur opinion guys?

Tumbo, Tumbo

I am still here. I haven’t relocated to Mars yet or is it Venus since am the girl in search of love, that should be the planet for me…don’t you think? lol.

Anyway, it’s been a while. I have been caught up in los of stuffs but I just had to find the time to update my blog. This blogging thing is not as easy as I thought initially but don’t worry guys, I aint giving up yet.

So O and I are still cool just that recently am discovering each day that if I have to pitch my tent with him for life, I have to be ready to accept the fact that I won’t be getting pampered the way I like. With O, I am the one that has to do the pampering. He always needs some sort of reassurance that I truly care for him. I have told him to stop being insecure but I don’t blame him too much, dude knows that there are lots of other guys hanging around and ready to take over his position if he f…ks up.

I care about him. I am sure of that but I also know I want a man who will dote on me and worry himself to death if I even as much as have the slightest of headaches. That’s K for you but unfortunately I don’t love K like he does me. Too bad.

Talking about Mr. X. He has really been outdoing himself these days. Calling regularly to check up on me, bringing me lunch at work (remember I told you his office is opposite mine) and some other loving stuffs. He says he is not giving up till I forget what happened and give him another chance.

Now to what happened that led to our breakup…I have shared this with my mum and a few close friends and most of them believe that what happened wasn’t enough for me to break up with X.
Actually, what happened is this-I had found out he had something with this other girl. He denied it but I found out that he was lying to me. I called the girl under the guise of being X’s sister and she opened up to me. When I confronted X with my discovery, he insisted that she wasn’t anything serious but then I didn’t trust him anymore so I ended the relationship. I must say this, I am a very jealous lover. I cant stand to share my man with anybody. If I am being faithful to you, I demand that same loyalty from you, finito.

A few days ago, I was discussing X’s comeback with an older male friend of mine and he said to me that sometimes people lie to those they love because they are either scared of hurting them or losing them. He went on to tell me that X may have lied about what happened then cos he was scared of how I would react.
Anyway, the long and short of the matter here is that most peole I have talked to believe that X is a perfect match for me-he is catholic, Ibo and loves me- three necessary criteria for my parent’s approval. Unfortunately O is not catholic, he is from Edo (although he can be said to be part-ibo cos his mum is Ibo) and I feel he loves me but I still see my folks giving me a hard time over him.

More gists o…

I spoke to O’s mum over the phone. We were talking; O and I when he suddenly told me that someone wanted to speak to me. I didn’t expect that it would be his mother. She sounded very nice and warm, said she had heard a lot about me, asked about my family and told me that her younger sister’s husband was from my place. Before she dropped the line she said I should take care of O very well. I replied that it was his duty to take care of me to which her response was that she was sure he was already doing that.
I don’t know but her saying that to me seems like she really approves of the relationship between me and her son or what do you think guys?

And O told me that she wants to meet me.

I don’t know if I should meet her. Isn’t it too early especially with this new developments with X?

Something very funny happened recently.
My mum called me and expressed her concerns over the fact that I haven’t ‘brought the man home finally’. She felt that I was getting confused so she had come up with this brilliant idea (according to her). I was supposed to give her the names of all the guys proposing to me which I did. She wrote out their names on little pieces of paper and folded them then she asked me to pick one of the tiny folded pieces of paper.
It was ridiculous, you know picking my husband out like that, but I went ahead with it just to humour her.
Guess what…I picked Mr. X’s name!
My mum happily announced prophetically to me that X was my destined husband and the sooner I realized it the better.
I don’t agree with the way she went about it-the inny minny maany mo style(tumbo, tumbo) and I’ll like to know what you all think.
That’s it for now guys.

Will do my blog rounds now.

UPDATE ON O

I am happy.
Yes, it’s because of O!
I think he really cares for me.

Okay let me start from where I stopped the last time.
That night I planned to call him by midnight(during happy hours) but slept off and didn’t wake until about 3am.
Then I decided to call but his phone kept ringing and he wasn’t picking it. After 4 tries, I gave up and went back to sleep. When I got up to prepare for work in the morning I had a text message on my phone. It was from him. He was sorry he had missed my calls and blab la bla.

I didn’t reply the text. I just went ahead to prepare and leave for the office. Unfortunately for me I forgot my phone at home. I only discovered after I had gotten to work and there was no way I was going back because of the phone. I simply resigned myself to being phoneless for the day.

On getting home later that evening, I had like twenty three missed calls on the phone. O’s was like 5 out of them. He had also sent me a text message that read:
“Too busy to take my calls? Even during the day?
Okay if you don’t wanna talk to me, at least send me a text. Am concerned
about you ”

When I read the text my heart melted and I replied, telling him I forgot my phone at home. A few minutes later he called and we talked for a while. He was so sorry he hadn’t called me for a while and he explained that he had been having some issues in the office and he was even angry at me that if he didn’t call, I wouldn’t.
We finally apologized to each other and I promised to call him at midnight so we could talk more.

Later, in the middle of the night , we talked a whole lot more. 1am till 4am(three whole hours!) and it was only when I insisted that we had to sleep cos both of us had jobs to go to in the morning that we finally ended the call. It’s always so good to talk to him cos he really makes me happy and he says it’s the same for him too.

He also came to pay me a visit at the office later in the day. I was so delighted when he called me to say he was in front of my office. I was impressed. He spent about 45mins with me in my office before he left.

On another note.

I think I might have a problem in my hands soon if this thing with O keeps getting deeper. You see I am an Ibo babe and my folks are VERY tribalistic…you know insisting I marry from my own tribe and all that. Thing is up till now, I never had issues with that because I had never met a non-ibo guy I really liked well enough to get serious with until I met O that is.
With O, things are different. I really like this dude and there are indicators that he feels the same way but I forsee a bleak future(if any) for us because of my folks. It would really be a WAR getting them to accept O as a son-in-law. There is something though. O is partly Ibo. His dad is Edo while his mum is Ibo. He’s got an Ibo name and he speaks a little funny ibo too,lol! Anyway, I don’t know if that is gonna give him an advantage with my parents.

Another thing is this, we are Catholics and my parents would love so much for me to get hooked to a catholic man too. Parents whose children don’t marry from the church lose certain priviledges like they can’t join the knighthood or for the mother, she loses the chance to ever receive the prestigious “Ezinne”(Good mother) award. Only mothers whose daughters do not get pregnant out of wedlock or marry outside the catholic church are eligible for the award.

Yesterday evening I was chatting with my mum and somehow our conversation drifted to INTER-RACIAL/DENOMINATIONAL MARRIAGES. The daughter of a family friend(they are Ibo) recently gotten married to a Yoruba guy from Osun state and a cousin of mine(they are Catholics) had just come to inform my folks that she was getting married to a guy who is Anglican.

Mum: You know her mum said they had to consent to the marriage when they
realized she was already in the family way. (She was talking about my cousin).

Me: I suspected! The last time she was here, she looked pregnant.

Mum: Yes. Initially her dad insisted he wasn’t going to be a party to the wedding but
her mum finally convinced him to. For her, its better that her daughter got married to an Anglican than for the story to be that she got pregnant in her father’s house.

Me: I guess so. It’s a better deal for all of them.

Mum: Ehen…you know Mr. Obi(pauses as I nod in affirmation). His daughter just
got married to a guy from Osun state! (She said it like that was a abomination,lol!)

Me: Really!! Osun state??(I was genuinely surprised. This is a very rare occurrence where I come from. I thought about the battle the girl must have fought with her parents before they gave in and silently gave the girl kudos in my mind)

Mum: Yes o! I hear he was her childhood friend in Benin where they grew up.

(Slight pause in our discussion as I was still deep in thought. I looked up at my mum, she was engrossed in the programme showing on TV )

Me: Mum…??

Mum: Yes…??(She turned to look at me with raised eyebrows)

Me: Which would you prefer? For me to marry a non-catholic or a non-Ibo guy??

She looked at me intently, probably searching for clues to know if I was dating any of the above. After a while, she looked away and seemed to ponder about my question

Mum: Hmmm…that’s a hard one o! Non- catholic I don’t like…and Non- Ibo…that
one too is out of it.

Me: But mum…I can’t keep limiting myself like that! If the Ibo guys are not coming, will I kill myself or wait forever??

She didn't say a word, she just kept mum.

I knew it was time to stop before she began interrogating me to find out which of the forbidden two I was dating. The Non-ibo or the Non-catholic,lol! I already had the answer I sought. She obviously didn’t like any of the two options.

Pity O is both of them. Non-ibo and Non-catholic. This thing go hard o!
Anyway make we dey look, its not as if O has proposed or anything of that sort yet but is it better not to start what looks like I wont be able to finish or should I just keep going with my heart and pray we’ll cross the bridge successfully when we get to that river?

I have talked to him about this and he says he doesn’t want to lose me because of the fact that we don’t come from the same tribe or we don’t attend the same church. He feels we should not let them(my folks) come between us. We have agreed to just take it slowly and see where it all leads.
Hopefully someplace good. *Fingers crossed*

Opinions peeps??