Okay so I just called him now.
Yea, I know I said I wasn’t going to call again.
But guys, plzzzzzz don’t be too quick to crucify me.
I had to do it.
I don’t even know why.
I just know I had to call.
Maybe I was seeking some sort of explanation or closure…
Not sure which one it was
I know for sure, I wanted answers
I wanted to know where things stood.
I mean, relationships don’t just end like this…
One minute, you guys are good together,
The next everything is in disarray and it's like someone pulled the mat from under your feet and you are hanging in the air.
He left me hanging…
And I didn’t want that.
I needed closure. I needed to know that we were done.
I needed to hear it from his lips.
“Aphrodite, this relationship is over”
So I called.
He picked up at second ring.
"Hello"
“Hi”
I tried to sound as nonchalant as possible. There is no way I was going to let show in my voice, how broken I was.
Well, after some small talk,
I went straight to the reason why I called.
“So you chose to dump me and are not man enough to tell me?”
His reply:
“Is that what you want?”
I understood the game he was playing. Sly guy.
“It’s not about what I want, after all your actions these past weeks have shown me that you are no more interested in the relationship. How else do you explaining not picking my calls, replying my text messages. You won’t call even when you see my missed calls. How do you want me to interprete that?
To cut the story short.
His explanation was that we had been having a lot of quarrels recently and he just felt that he wasn’t adding any value to the relationship and he decided to just stay away since he was always making me unhappy.
What an excuse!
What was this guy going on about??
Didn’t all relationships have one problem or the other? Are couples not supposed to work out their issues?
In his own case, he doesn’t want to try to work things out rather he feels the best thing to do is to cut me off??
Gratefully, the line cut off. I didn’t call back. There was no point.
Did I get the answer I sought?
I don’t know.
* Saw his missed calls later on my phone. He probably called when I wasn't with the phone and No, i didnt call back.
On the side.
I just want to mention this to clear those who feel that O’s mum may have something to do with his behaviour.
Some days back. I just felt this urge to call her. O’s Mum , I mean.
The phone rang for a while but she didn’t pick.
I didn’t call back.
Later, I was sleeping when my phone woke me up. I glanced at the clock. It was a minute to midnight.
I picked up the phone and it was his mum calling. I pressed the green button but the line went off before I could answer so I called her back.
Our convo went something like this
Her: Hello…
Me: Hello ma
Her: Hello my dear. How are you? I saw your missed call on my phone.
Me: Yes mummy. I called you earlier but you didn’t pick up.
Her: Yes I left my phone at home then. Where have you been? I haven’t seen you in a long while.
Me: I have been around.
Her: You know today is my birthday (It was past 12 midnight by now)
Me: Oh yea? I didn’t know o! Let me be the first to wish you a happy birthday. Happy birthday to you ma and I wish you God’s blessings.
Her: Thank you my dear. May God grant you all your heart desires.
Me: Amen.
Her: O is upstairs o! You want to talk to him? Should I call him?
Me: Noooooo! No ma. There is no need for that. Enjoy your birthday. Good night ma.
Her: Okay my dear. Good night.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
I called...
Posted by Aphrodite at 2:13 AM
Labels: Birthday, Break-up, Issues, Mother-in-law, O, Phone calls
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51 comments:
FIRST! I understand the need to call esp. since it seems like this is something y'all need to talk out. Wish you the best!
You wanted answers and you got some, not necessarily the ones you want. I understand, sometimes you have to go back to go forward. It may seem that your happiness lies with him but it doesn't. Call him to find out what he wants, I mean has he not done enough damage? If you really want to save this, you could talk to his Mum, she seems really nice. God is your strength.
Sorry Dear. I know what you mean by seeking closure, its really important. But now you know what you need to know to move on with your life. Although it may be hard to believe this, others will come. You will find your Mr. right. Goodluck dearie.
im glad you called, at least now its not just based on assumptions.
wat else can i say......
follow ur heart'
I don't think anyone can jump down ur throat about calling. we've all been there. I hope you've found closure. one thing i'm proud of u is that u're not begging him to be with you. u go girl!!!
I would have done the same if I was you. Issues of the heart are not like on and off button.
I know you are worth better than such treatment. Sooner than you think, your eyes will open to Mr. Right.
All the best and God be with you.
Its a good thing you calld. As human being we always need some form of closure. Not sure you got exactly what you wanted but at least you got smething. Cheer up babe, things will soon start to look up...xoxo
Hmmmmmm I have missed all the action...O???? what's gone wrong?? Wasn't O the one u were shagging in the car???
i knew you would call again, and you guys will still see again. the only time you will really walk away is when he tells you it is over. because untill he says that, you will always wonder if there is something you could do differently to make it work. you will believe there is just one more try and it will work
but i pray this wontt be how it plays out for you, for the sake of the time you need to heal.
pls, forget that guy and forget him fast. I know what im talking about. it murders your self esteem. pls. right now dear, get urself distracted. unfortunately we are entering that season where it is posiible to become really depressed when you dont have 'that' person.
im talking too much, but let ur female friends spoil you this period. dont hang with those other guys oh, X and the others, so you dont have a rebound. read, go shopping, go to church, visit new churches you have heard off. form a new habit.
in everything, you need to forget O.
Babes, follow your heart but let it go my dear, it is easier to say as it may feels like we have not been in ur shoes but until you yourself are ready to close that chapter, you will still call. Don't call his mum again my dear. Just leave it as it is and let God heal you and if it is O, God will sort it out. Sometimes we feel that if we don't have that one person life cease to move on but babes i must agree with Uzezi on this, move on and hang out with the girls.
The best is what God will do.....
Girl very few men will tell you straight up to your face that they dont love you anymore and it is over. If thats the kind of closure you are looking for it will probably never come. His actions are saying what his voice can not. I agree with Laughter, you deserve better, you need better, try and move on, he has to be with you because he wants to, and not because you want him to, or his mum has pushed him into it. It hurts but all wounds heal.
...we always call.
At times like these we appreciate answers (no matter how wrong as long as they are thot-ful) to give us the closures we want.
Without closures, even when we see someone else; 'tis always seemingly difficult to move on.
...why we always call.
in seeking closure,u get more entangled n u neva rily find wt ur luking 4.in any case a guy wu has abandond d rel like dat simply dosnt wnt 2 b in it.wteva d reasons.d ans.is,he dosnt wnt 2 b in d rel. anymo,he dosnt nid ur consent,hes proving it by his actions.he once loved u but pls thou its difcult,move on
i know it wouldnt been easy for you not to call and check where u stood, hon, you'll be alright trust me..just follow your heart and as always whenever you need a friend i'll be here!! xoxo
My dear… I knw its hard…especially wen u r d one left to wonder wat happened. But babes…u need to move on…try 2 get closure somehow….and move on…wen u meet that bone of ur bone…flesh of ur flesh….u will be in no doubt as regards his luv and commitment towards u…and u will regret that u wasted all dese time chasing after someone not worthy of u
@wordsmith, thanks.
@Tina, thanks but i dont think i want to talk to his mum. Wouldnt want for him to be with me cos his mum pressured him into it. We have a mutual uncle too but i dont want to get him involved also.
@Temite, will i? I hope.
@bumight, yes...
@LG, thanks
@tigeress, thanks babes. No matter how much i love a man, i wont ever beg him to be with me. Never!
@Nwachi, thanks.
@ms.O, yea at least i got something.
@Afro,lol...I DIDNT SHAG HIM IN THE CAR!!! okay okay maybe almost,lol... Good to have you back girl.
@uzezi, i admit, there is still hope in my heart that we can work things out but i wont force anything. Thanks for the advice.
@laughter, yes i do need to engage my mind with other things.Hang out with the girls? I have no girl to hang with,lol...
@MissDM, yes. Thanks.
@rethots, thanks for that bro. Closures are important.
@mizcynic, though it hurts, i admit you are right.
@shona, thanks a lot darl.
@doll, thanks sweets.
its better you called. so that you will have a clear insight to what's happening.
but i'm not sure its clear enough though? so are you calling him for further clarification?
Its ok you called...girl we all do it,sometimes we don't even leave it to one call..we call again and again!
I understand you may be looking for closure but sometimes people cannot give you that..you need to get it yourself...i know life sucks when this happens but please chin up. You deserve better and you definately can get better
You and your hawt self!!! Just don't let it weigh you down too much xxx
I undestand ur calling him babes.
If na me sef, i go call.
It must be hard being in that place where you dont know whether to move on or stay put.
My advise is let him follow up if he is still interested.
Dont call again.
and it's good you are not letting his family in on what is happening so they dont influence anything.
Like i always say, what will be will be!
u calling is natural. his behavious too is textbook. don't worry abt it any more, dear. move on!
Omigod! That's sad.
its not new to me aphrodite....ur actions i mean, smtimes we just need reconfirmation, try to see if there smthin we can do ......
but in the end its stil the same conclusion.....
its part of the healing process, he just was not worth u gal,
try seein it that way, its easier
hugs dear
the guy is an ass men! i hope u're ok sha...
I know you are familiar with the saying that one should be careful of what they wish for, because they might end up getting it.
Hey you,where have u been all my blogging life?
My first question before commenting on calling and not callin "O" is that,what did SP say?isnt it over a month yet?
av felt like giving up on my rel cos of quarrels before so its not strange to me he said/thought dat.wat did SP say 1st sha?
Aphrodite, you need to ask yourself what you want, be clear about it and stick to it.
One thing is clear with O there seems to be a lot of drama.
Is that really what you want at this point of your life?!
MAN! scary s**h happens babes.
we not gettin any younger, but i think we xpect too much from people, especially us GUYS, though u'all gat ur own issues.
donno much bout ur story BUT...
d guy said and i quote
"we had been having a lot of quarrels recently and he just felt that he wasn’t adding any value to the relationship and he decided to just stay away since he was always making me unhappy."
now to me, dats an open cheque, u fill the blanks urself.
in a serious guy world, dats like hittin the reset button, u cld wipe the slate clean and start afresh or move on 2 d next guy who wont be any diff. cos we all wired the same way.
indicators show dat hell will freeze b4 he gives u a closure cos im sef no knw wetin im want, wants u to make dat decision.
i really wish u the best.... everything will be alright....
Nice Anon:Yes oh. Most men will never tell you that it is over. Some will even resort to txting or something else. Sometimes we want the answers that will never come. If it is for you... then it will happen if not the right person will come along. I feel for you alot!
Hmmmm,i have just finished reading all your posts and i cant help but sigh!!!!
i still need to know wat the prayer warrior said before i conclude.reason been that i kinda believe those people as well...
hmm.. i definately have been absent from here for a while.. urs wud come someday.. believe.
@darkelcee, No i am not but it seems he wants to talk now.
@jarrai, thanks babes. no am not letting it weigh me too much.
@princesa, thanks babes. I agree.
@FFF,lol...his behaviour is textbook? How do u mean girl?
@kay-shawn, yes it is.
@ms.emmotions, yes if he cant treat me right then he isnt worth it.
@s.chic, Big ass o...
@Emeka, yea i know that saying but come and explain more.
@Qmoney, lol...i have been right here girl. About S.P,I havnt been to see her yet. Didnt start the prayers she gave me till recently, My bad , i know :).
@30+, Drama is the last thing i need in my life right now.I need stability.
@teebay, hmmm...hitting the reset button...just maybe...
@funms, i pray so. Thanks.
@Nice anon, thanks so so much.
@Qmoney, yes some of them are real too...You read all my posts? You try o...will head to urs soon.
@zara,its been a while dear. yes i belive.
@
my dear, what is yours comes to you. u don't struggle 4 it! & u've struggled enuf wit dis relationship.
wot i mean by his behaviour being textbook is cos it's just typical of dudes. now, him putting d ball n ur court as it seems is him passing d blame 2 u. he is saying 'u r d reason am dumping u!' babe, na so? even if na so, den i'd recommend u learn ur lessons wit another man, & not wit him. if no b so, KICK HIM TO HELL. Any man who won't take responsibilities 4 his actions aint no man. he is a boy, & dearie, u r looking 4 A MAN at this point in ur life. & no, am not saying dis cos i never wanted O 4 u 4rm d very start.
hey babes, read ur posts a bit further *i know i was jobless*
and i got a bit confused like ... WTF...
newayz, there is nothing on earth a little sitting down and talking cant fix, even if it means breaking up, it'll be done in a really cool and mature way. *not dat am suggesting dat o*
think both of you should be honest with each other, and talk about this in not hurry at all.
find out what he thinks bout u *gud and bad* then do the same!
and at the end of the day u would both b hitting the reset button together or saying ur good byes together.
i think theres more to it than spectators can comment on. u gats 2 sort it out by talking to each other instead of carryin some weight on urselves.
;-)
I have soo been waiting for you.infact i have my reply to u already typed but i needed to know SP's response 1st.
So,what do i do now?tell u what i think and typed over days or just wait for the next thing to happen?
Let me wait,see you said he wants to talk but i suspect i know how this is going to end.see me giving u suspense over your own life again,i am a frog:)
i would do a proper long reply(includin what i think of previous posts) after your next post!
waiting......
@FFF, babes, i know you are speaking the truth and plenty sense but nne o dikwa very very hard to wipe him off like dat o
@teebay, thanks for taking the time to read other posts. You said exactly what an older friend of mine said. Even if we are ending things, it has to be done civilly.
@Qmoney, babes u make me fall in love with u already,lol... Will be at urs right away and truly i cant wait to read ur long reply :)
How are you doing?
You did get the answer you sought.
It still Sux though!
Mista Jaycee
gosh, i dont understand why this thing called love can be the sweetest and yet the most painful thing ever..its horrible!!!
i hope u feel better babe.
its a pity that u didnt get the closure u desired..honestly, his actions have said it all, u deserve so much better.
Aphrodite, I will never, ever recommend that you lead any1 on. That being said, the quickest way to get over O is to talk to another. Understand me: DO NOT LEAD ANYONE ON OOOO!!!! But go out more. Hang out. Look around you, babes, you'll see there are people (guys & gals alike) that are just dying for your company. Why don't yo oblige them??
You'll be too busy to think of O. It'll surprise you how fast he'll dissipate from your memory. You won't even be trying to forget him anymore; it's just happen naturally. He'll be a fly on the wall. Trust me, it works.
Happy forgettin'!!
you need to move on, i understand its hard but you can't keep living your life this way.. every girl deserves better
Nice anon: Aphrodite Holla me @ chikason69@yahoo dot com. I have something to tell you. Only if that's ok
@rita, am doing okay dear. thanks for asking.
@Mister jaycee, yea it sucks.
@soupasexy, i dont understand it too babes.
@buttercup, now he is confusing me further with his actions.
@vera, thanks for the tip babes. Went out during the Sallah hols with a girlfriend and true, like you said, i didnt even think of him throughout. Will do it more often.
@princessjumai, u are right.
@Niceanon, okay...
I want to cry
for some reason
ALthough I have not been here in a while, I'd like to say what's worth having in the first instance is worth keeping.
You cannot let go now. You think you want to but you really don't. You can only let go when u r sure it's all over. From the look of things, it's not because your questions have not been answered.
i think his mom's a witch
don't you know mother's arealways nice
they'll be nice and be crying and telling their son NO!o
not that girl
as far as i am concerned
father's are more honest.
hey i hope u forget him soon
know how you feel.
(hugs)
Hey babes..happy new yr..may u meet guys worthy of ur time and dis blog dis yr
sniff am lost
need to catch up
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