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Tuesday, June 10, 2008

I HATE SMALL THING!

Hey friends!
What’s going on in blogsville? I know I have been out of touch for sometime now. I haven’t been able to check on some of your blogs cos I have been out of town. Had to go represent my company at a workshop in ABJ. You guys, be not deceived o, am not one big shot executive o,lol…I wish say my job responsibilities dey equal to the salary, by now man pikin for don dey drive hummer,lol…

Nothing much has been happening in my love life o, lol…I lie, so much has been happening joo.

Okay let me start from last Friday, the last time I posted.

O called me that night to say that we had to spend the whole of Saturday together cos he had missed me so much. I was only too happy to agree and so we fixed a date. He would come pick me from home and we would have a nice cosy time at the beach whispering sweet nothings in each other’s ears,lol…at least that was the plan until Saturday morning came with its serious downpour. It rained cats, dogs and elephants that Saturday morning and I knew our beach plan had been spoilt.

Later when the rain stopped, O came around. We couldn’t do the beach again so we settled for a movie at the cinema. The movie was a nice one, made better by the fact that I was there with O and we spent most of the time snuggling up and stealing kisses.lol…

Movie ended, we headed for home. It was quite late and the traffic was crazy because of the earlier downpour. Then I started to get the funny feeling, yea your girl started feeling horny o,lol…I really wanted O to take me there and then, it was crazy! I took his hand and snuck it under my top. He turned to look at me with a smug smile playing at the corner of his mouth. Then he started to fondle my nipples, mheen…the feelings were heightened, It took all my self control not to take off my top there and then. Then the traffic started moving and he had to remove his hands back to the steering. I was frustrated.

I hope some peeps are not thinking ‘This aphrodite is a rotten babe’ o! But what’s the essence of having a blog if I can’t say it as it is. You guys don’t go all holy holy on me now abeg.

Okay so back to my gist.
We soon got home and as he made to park in front of my house. We looked at each other and we both knew what the other was thinking. I wanted him, and he wanted me. At the end of my close is a mini-parking lot. That was where we headed.

As soon as he killed the engine, we were in each other’s arms, kissing and tearing away at our clothes.

Everything was going smoothly until I unzipped his trousers and put my hands inside his boxers. It wasn’t what I bargained for o…the thing was small...as in ssssssmall!
Mheen na so i weak o! How fine boy like dis, huge and nice physique go come get small 'kini' like this now?

I no go lie o, my interest just died down and I withdrew.

He turned to me, concern written all over his face.
“What is it baby?”
“Nothing, just that I don’t think we should be doing this here, the place and time is not right and I really have to get home now”
I hoped my disappointment was not showing on my face.

I think he suspects I wasn’t too happy with his ‘kini’ that night. Funny enough, since that evening, he has been unusually all over me, calling me, saying all the nice things I love to hear and sending sweet text messages but oddly, am not impressed anymore. I just keep remembering his small ‘kini’

The truth is that...

I DON’T LIKE SMALL THINGS!!!

Peeps do you think am being shallow?

45 comments:

LG said...

1st!!!

LG said...

buhahahahaha,
did yeye gurl, werrin u want sef, tell me?

Aphrodite said...

@lg, my dear, all i know be say i no like small thing jare.

bumight said...

hmnnnn, so you like big things poppin? (in the words of T.I)

I dont think you're being shallow, but then small is subjective.

some people have big things but dont know how to use it. be careful what u ask for!

Unknown said...

Size is not all that matters but it's a pretty BIG part of the equation. Lol. Small kini ke... I no fit deal o. Na bye bye be that. No point prolonging the matter. I'll let him down... gently and nicely.

Afrobabe said...

danngggg lg, you no dey sleep???

Smaragd said...

lmao! O is such a goner!after all the shakara...

so now what? truth is u probably didnt like him as much as u thot if ur feelings can change with size...lol

and yea, u sound a bit shallow here babe.

Afrobabe said...

Lmao….sweetie, small thing no mean small action oh…

I know I go on and on about big things but love, sometimes (whispering, don’t tell anyone) big things hurt oh…and you get all dry and don’t even want again…so go the full deal with him and see if u come or not….

Aphrodite said...

@bumight, but some people have big thing and know how to use it too,lol...

@naijalines, lmao@letting him down nicely,lol...

@afro, i no know for lg o!

@smaragd, you think so?

@afro,lol...crazy girl! Thanks for that bit of info love. E dey pain me, e dey sweet me,lol...

Anonymous said...

i know these story,my sister dumped a boy too because of the size of his bussiness(penis),her reasons is that she doesn't want to cheat on him later on in the relationship

Anonymous said...

small can be good,if he knows how to use it,like they say small can also be mighty

Flourishing Florida said...

rotflmao. gini na eme eba a!!!! wetin!!!!! still laughing

no, no. wait b4 someone things am laughing @ O. am not. am just recalling an 'advise' someone gave me. 2 always do 'quantitative analysis' wen i think i might b heading down dat road some day with someone. makes a lotta sense, my dear. abi, if aphro do am, she 4 don know all along wetin she bin dey bargain 4?

kai, babes. i no wish say i b u now o. i remember one of my greatest fears with MM was if he'd b big or small there. so, d chance i got, i checked it out o. i no dey play! even if say e no good 4 me like dat, it'd have offered me ample time 2 make decisions weda i'd stick around nonetheless b/c of love.

hmm, aphro love, guess u've got one more impediment 3 ur love 4 O. i so don't wish 2 b u right now

come o, just exactly how small r we talking abt????? like, UHU glue stick small? or cigarette stick small?

Flourishing Florida said...

rotflmao @ 'e dey pain me, e dey sweet me' abi o. @ least e dey sweet me. not like d ones, pain e no pain me, sweet e no sweet me

Flourishing Florida said...

4 me, average is ok. i can work with it. but small? where i wan stay?

Flourishing Florida said...

by d way, i so love ur honesty n dis post!!!!!!

Femi Adeyemi said...

you'd be amazed. big surprises come in small packages..or used too..
you wouldn't know until you test drive it..
believe me big can be brash atimes..the small ones would usually hit the right spots at the right times as long as the bobo knows how oh..
goodluck..
ur honesty is refreshing..tk cre

Simi Speaks said...

LMAO.. how small is small?! wink! workable small or hell nah small??

lol.. cant stop laughing. ok, ok,ok. not funny. but still.. hahahahahah.


after all the stress of dis O self, he cant come correct, hissss!!

soupasexy said...

hahahaha are us serious? fine boy with small things? what a shame! i feel u babes...no long tins, no action..lol
but if u really like him, i dont think him having a small pennis would change how u feel. he might know how to work you real good with it.

Chari said...

who is going holy holy on u...u sef!

ah fuck! (forgive ma french!)

omg! I was having a happy day until u put your hand in his boxers..hahahahahahaha!!!!

GIRLS!!!....tell the truth! but nooo you guys have to be so damn diplomatic...shish

I ono mehn...I dunno what to say how it feels cause am at the other end of the scale, the extreme end to be exact

@ bumight u can like not to generalise o...me I know how to use my own ehen...

Chari said...

wait...uhmmm...aphro did u ever consider the fact that maybe he wasnt fully uhmm...erect?

Unknown said...

Charizard, very good point. A guy might look small when not (fully) erect. But when erect it's a totally different story. Even up to three times bigger than the non-erect size :D

Anonymous said...

Read my lips - S-I-Z-E M-A-T-T-E-R-S and then some.

belissima said...

Reposting:

S-I-Z-E M-A-T-T-E-R-S and then some. You just need to go B-I-G and B-L-A-C-K... :-8)

NikkiSab said...

My darling!!! U shallow??!!!! Not in my books u aint. I rmbr i guy wen i was dating, he shocked me to d bones. It was like holding dat small gold-door padlock, u rmbr those ones dat look green or red. I felt like weeping dat he wanted to put DAT in me..lol sha i faked sth n got out of it. Chei, so wat u gonna do now?

Jayn Sean said...

Hahahahahahah...girl you shud've just tried it out. You'll never know this things you know? Like somebody said, it might come big but no action. Please get your feelings back to how you felt when you and O were coming from the movie.... Okay at least try. He might be good you know?

Hey...believe you me i know what i'm talking about...

Flourishing Florida said...

mehn, am seriously getting hooked on dis blog. can't wait 4 d next update! & aphro's responses

Afrobabe said...

Kai, see as Free flowing like this topic...lmao..

LG said...

Babes, i nor like am o, c how u dey make dem dey yab O,its not fair, its not fair at all, *frowns* wen u c BIG one na! u go begin cry4help,take time o

Chris Ogunlowo said...

Hahahahaha....

Let me quickly go and tell the guy.

You finished him.

...but some of the best things in life come in small sizes ;)

Hmmm, I'm thinking... you want to try something else?

Jay said...

LMAO....its a lie...eyha poor guy

You should have tried it a bit now...maybe the man gots skilss...

Funny funny funny...lol

ejura said...

I am no authority on this but I read somewhere that the size doesn't matter. Big, small...as far as it functions right?
We've got different sizes of boobs and all too, you know...abi?

tobenna said...

I didn't leave Aphrod.
I just couldn't comment.

Trust me, you are far from rotten. Normal would be a better way to describe your feelings.
We've all been there. Trust me.

BTW
He has a small thing!
DAMN!!!
But still, you never know. Small things may have a way of tickling things in places you never knew about.
NO! I am not talking from experience!

D@AC said...

roflmao and tearing up a bit. damn girl u just killed O

Unknown said...

Dis babe self! I like the fact that you sincere about your feelings. No pretence! But you got me rolling on the floor with this beautifully written piece.

But remember that it is not by size but my skills (says Dammy. Lol!)

No long thing!!!

flawsandall said...

kai poor boy...see wetin small dick can cause..i heard its not size but the motion that matters..plus i heard small dicks are more likely to hit the g-spot..i heard oh..lol

Naija Idol said...

LMAO. i dont think ure being shallow on this one, well i dont know. we alll get horny sometimes.

princesa said...

ha ha ha ha ha
He he heh ehe
ho ho ho ho
Which other stlye of laughter remain, abi make i laugh for french?lol!

Babes, i TOTALLY feel you on this one but like the others have said, small can be mighty o, you never knwo till u try!

Aphrodite said...

@anonymous, I think if you know you cant manage small thing, better not marry o. Your sister did the right thing. Small and mighty,lol..

@florida, Ihe na eme ebea is dat I don’t dig small things, lol..
Babes, dat ur friend gave you correct advise o, I made the mistake of thinking a great body physique means a guy will be well endowed down there :(
Anyhoo, its not too late abi? lol@ cigarette/UHU glue stick small, truthfully I didn’t get a look, it was dark,lol… Babes you know dat saying- If you want to eat frog, eat fat one so if they call you frog eater you will answer,lol…

@genius, maybe I should do a test drive before I conclude enh? I just hope it hits the right spots o, if not…

@simi, I need to find out if its workable small. After the stress jare, dat one na im dey pain me pass.

@soupa, lol…I don’t know what work small thing can do o

@chari, how will you feel if you were in O’s shoes and I told you I lost interest cos of your ‘kini’? am sure you wont be happy, so you see diplomacy has to come in at such times. So you at the other end of the scale, your girlfriend is lucky!
Come to think of it, you just might have a point, maybe he wasn’t fully erect sha.

@naijalines, is dat so? Hmmm…*thinking seriously*

@anon, yea I think it does too.

@belissima, you anon above? B & B???

@nikki, Jesus! Small Golddoor padlock ke?!! I think O’s own is not that bad sha. What to do? Don’t know yet.

@jaybabe, lol…will try, will try, its just hard when I remember the small ‘kini’,lol…

@florida, now I know you are a confirmed bad girl,lol…don’t mind me girl, I love you just the way you are.

@afro, don’t mind the babe, e be like say congeal hol am sef, oya Flo you better hop in the next bus to Lag o,lol…

@lg, lol…you want fight for O? I think say the better thing to do na to fast and pray to baba God make e increase O thing small,lol..
Big thing no dey fear me at all o

@aloofar, you want go tell the guy? For where now? Try something else? Bad boy!

@jarrai, skills…maybe

@ejura, likening boobs and dicks…I don’t know if they are the same o

@tobenna, oya swear, you aren’t talking from experience,lol..good to know you think am perfectly normal

@xena, did I kill him?lol…

@dammy, y’all seem to be saying the same thing, skills not size matters. Okay maybe I shouldn’t write him off completely

@zephi, now its motion again no more skills abi? I hope what you heard is true sha, did you really hear it?lol…

@naijaidol, yea it’s a natural feeling.

@princesa, you didn’t do hu hu hu hu , naaa…that would be crying right? Anyway e be like say una don win, make I try first before I complain.

bumight said...

florida needs to be banned from this blog!

No long thing! ( i just had to say that)

Flourishing Florida said...

@ bumight: wetin i do u na? abeg, make i no enjoy myself? lmao. my dear, no be congeal hold me o. na over-do dey worry me now! rotflmao

Aphrodite said...

@bumight, lol...no long thing ke?

@florida,overdo? abeg no kill that poor guy o,lol...

Aphrodite said...

am updating in a few mins!

Sasuke said...

LOOOOOOOLLLLLL. abeg no bi the guy fault now. you just left him and yourself high and dry. my dear its not about the size of a mans equipment and it would never be. its more about the loving and work he can put in there.pity u didn't give him a shot.

Anonymous said...

lmao..this is ur funniest post yet.

but seriously u never know, it all depends on the individual's skills. someone that I thot was "small" has bn my best experience so far.

Buttercup said...

dang....u know, u cud read them kama sutra books, there r various positions to accommodate er, small things..*runs to read updates*