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Thursday, December 11, 2008

Dogs, Text messages & Mixed Vibes

Living with Dogs have taught me one thing.
They are very greedy and selfish.
A dog may not want something but would rather hold on to it that let another person/dog have it.
If it’s a bone, that one na another matter,lol…

I just realized that O is acting like the typical Dog.

Bobo no want me again, I mean he showed me all the signs- Not calling, Not replying messages, Not picking his calls, always too busy to find time for me and all.

He even confirmed it(See last post)
He was staying away cos we’ve been having too many issues of late(his own words).

So what was I expected to do.
Stay put and let another man rub shit in my face?

No way!

I decided to move on.

I spoke to an older friend(yea, the same older friend I normally talk to) who is very experienced in love matters.

His advice was that I should send him a text of Finality.
A text that would show him that I was moving on.

According to him(my friend) his response will determine the next course of action.

I argued. “I don’t want to send any text… He wouldn’t even reply the text”

In response, my friend said:
“Aphro dear, if he doesn’t bother to reply the text then please, I beg you….PLEASE forget the guy, he doesn’t deserve you. Cut every tie between the both of you and move on. The man who will appreciate you will come.”

I finally agreed to send the text.

“We don’t have to be strangers just because we are no more in a relationship. My prayer for you is that you find someone to love and who will love you the way you always wanted. Bye.”

Surprisingly, he replied immediately.

“We need to talk. Will find time during the week to come by. Is that okay?”

I replied: “It’s okay”


During the week, he called me one evening on my way home from work to say he was about to leave the office to my place. I wasn’t home yet and it would still be an hour or so before I got home so I told him not to bother coming cos I was still far from home.

He said Fine. Tomorrow then?

Okay. I replied.

He went on.
“So why haven’t you called all this while?”

I was surprised at the question.
“Call? Have you forgotten that you normally ignore my calls?”
“Aphro, I would never ignore your calls baby…”
“Ha ha ha, that’s really funny, I cant believe you are saying that. Anyway, lets not argue. We’ll talk when we see”

The next day, I was missing him so I sent a text.
“How are you? Miss me?”

His reply came in immediately.
“Am doing okay dear. Do you miss me?”

I replied.
“I asked you a question and you replied with the same question”

His reply:
“I have been thinking about you everyday Aphro. I began to call other peeps your name. You mean so much to me. I didn’t mean to stay away, just dat I don’t wanna cos you more pain”

My reply:
“I really cant understand how staying away is supposed to make things better. A relationship can only succeed if the two people involved work at it equally. Sometimes I feel that you are not ready for serious commitment. That can only be the explanation for your actions.”

His reply:
“It’s not that dear. I am ready to settle down but at times you seem like someone else to me and we both become stubborn and misunderstand each other. I stay away cos I am confused”

Me:
“You say we both become stubborn, right? You know how we women get at times, you are the man, you should know how to calm me down and let me understand you”

Him:
“Yes, That is what u have decided and the feelings I have for you are noble enough for me to do the right thing and calm you down when the troubles begin to rage between us”

Me:
“You decided that? Who gave you that advice? Anyway we'll see later. am leaving for home now.”

That was the text banter we had.

I was supposed to see him last week but he didn’t show up.

I put it down to his been very busy at work and reasoned, the weekend was coming and there was the sallah hols on Monday & Tuesday so no matter how bad it was, he would be able to make out time during those four days to see me for the talk we were supposed to have.

Saturday came and went.
No word from him.
Sunday too.

Monday evening, I sent a text.
“I thought we were meant to see but unfortunately, you are too busy even on public hols. Hope you enjoyed urself today”

He replied:
“Sugar, I didn’t enjoy myself o! I was at the office all day. My pathetic story with my bank continues. Will try to come by tomorrow if I can”

Yeah right! I thought. I wasn’t buying that spending all day in the bank shit!

On Tuesday, I was determined not to stay at home waiting for his call so I went out with a girl pal of mine. We had fun and I was able to forget about him for a while until I got home.
Around 8pm, I couldn’t resist the temptation to call to find out if he was still coming.
The phone rang for a while and then cut off. He didn’t answer.

I slept off that night with my phone beside my pillow thinking he would call.

The next morning, I saw his text message.
“Hi angel, sorry I missed your call. Was meant to come over but didn’t finish at the office till about 10pm. I could have still come down to your place but I knew it would be too late for you to come out of your house”


I didn’t bother to reply it.
Jerk! What stopped him from calling back when he saw my missed call?!


I had started to gradually condition my mind to forgetting him finally.
I was really suceeding at it o cos I realized that I wasn’t thinking of him as much as I used to.
I admit, his not calling all these while kinda made things easier.

Only to get this text last nite:
“Listening to some of the love songs you used to sing to me and remembering how we fell in love, thinking of your beautiful face and our first tender moments. I miss you.”

Now it’s obvious, this guy is playing some serious game with me.
He doesn’t have the right to toy with my emotions this way.
He no want…He want…
Which one I go take?

He had better be clear as to what he wants cos I don’t want to be the bone in this dog's paw no longer...

I see that fine mongrel eyeing me,lol....

Katch ya guys!

49 comments:

LG said...

1sttttttt

LG said...

@O: bros abeg' wetin u want o???????

Aphrodite said...

@LG, nne i tire for am o!

doll (retired blogger) said...

let me claim position
2nd

kk said...

sorry to be blunt but... you know what you should do. Asking for any more signs is like prolonging torture. Can you honestly see him making a firm commitment of marriage to you and sticking to it aithout blowing hot and cold? Games aside it seems he puts his job well before you and it'll be nice to go into the new year being clear what the situation is between 2 of you.

doll (retired blogger) said...

babes move on...stop d calls and the text mesages till u can deal with him...its only an invitation for him to come mess with u further....

i work like crazy...but if my boyfriend was breaking off with me and we'v agreed to see and i couldnt make it cuz am stuck at work..i wont wait for him to call me or text me before i call with a proper explanation and apology..

This guy is not serious its as clear as ABC

princesa said...

I know we’ve all been saying move on, move on.
But I have to say this, I can only imagine how hard it must be for you to just wipe him off ur mind like we advise.
Take it easy girl, seek the face of God on this matter, stop calling or texting.
As far as I am concerned you have done enough of that already. Let God take the wheel.
All the best.

Anonymous said...

Afro - please forget this guy. I'm a guy and I can actually identify with the games that his playing. I have done it before too when I was younger and wasn't ready for a commitment. There is no way, no matter how busy you are that you won't make time for the one you love. He can't make up his mind then make it up for him.

ShonaVixen said...

hmmm i guess its easy for us to just type out move on when we're not in ur situation...and this O..hmmm Mr O likes playing games, he doesnt want you to be with some1 else and yet he cant committ to you...confused human being!!!Hon, it will all work out, i know that..but dont play the games too long, its just not emotionally healthy
xoxo

doll (retired blogger) said...

That said I realize it isn’t easy….i had an experience lately that made me realize all this move on thing are easier said than done….just look for anything that will give you closure…(I knw the phone calls, texting, scheduling meetings wont tho)….am sure u will be alright….take a cyber hug

Ms. emmotions said...

aphro, be mindful of a guy that calls u various pet names at various point in time...not a good sign, could mean a lot of things,

take care gal

Anonymous said...

hmmm bobo had berra have a plausible excuse for his hot and cold behaviour!Ahn ahn what is it self! hope you're cool though!

Rita said...

Aphro, I dont want anyone toying with your emotions...not at all. But what if his statement is true "Sometimes I feel that you are not ready for serious commitment..."? The only time someone told me that, in the end he was right. For me think that if you have to move on, you may want to understand what he really means by that statement so that you don't send out the same vibes to any blessed guy who may be coming your way.

Laughter said...

Aphro......... you know what i identify with you because we women can be like that sometimes. But all these texts are like mind games. He is not ready. All these so called working hard at work is so unreal. My dear nobody can be too busy for the one they truly love. God will see you through.

Aphrodite said...

@kk, thanks for ur comment. his job has always come first.
@doll, i know what u are saying girl.i know...
@princesa, glad u feel me babes. I am praying about everything now o
@anon, thanks.I may have to make it up for him seriously.
@shona, not good for my health at all.
@doll, thanks for the hug love.
@ms.emmotions, hmmmm...noted dearie.
@Nolimit, lol...i feel u girl. he berra do!
@rita, oh dear! I think u got it mixed up. I was the one that asked that question, not him.

Aphrodite said...

@laughter, abi o! I have always maintained that one cant be too busy for the person they love. thanks babes.

Anonymous said...

Babe, i have been following this your episode for a while and I hate to be a party pooper...but dude is wasting your tyme (this is not about marriage, this is about HIM - end of!) You're only dragging out the pain - the random as hell texts/calls r for him to just check that he still has "game"...move on, when you get the urge to call/text...throw ur fone away,lol...seriously tho...switch off...dont settle for any guy either, YOUR own will come!

Ps: "What is worth having is worth fighting for" does not apply here...a relationship is a partnership...you both have to want the same thing and be on the same page...dude has issues...You r a fine babe o!

:)

Anonymous said...

If a man loves you, nothing can keep him away from you. Please stop making excuses on his behalf, you need to step into 2009 with no drama.

Unknown said...

babes, are u sure this guy is not married or something? i can guarantee u that it's not all work sha...Is he the regional manager or something? Abeggi!

either married or has another relationship and can't make up his mind....

I beg u...let this one go!

I'm surprised u're not irritated and tired of his BS right now...i'm even angry for u sef...lol

Flourishing Florida said...

i've said it b4 & i'll say it again. Aphrodite MOVE ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! none of us girls ho have given u dis advise r talking dust. we have all been here, some of us over & over. we have felt d frustration u r facing now, called/texted a million times in d hope dat what we r seeing & what everyone else is telling us is wrong. but n d end, u'd discover, as we did, dat nothing dey dia. den, u'd cry d cries we did - out of anger 4 d nights we pined away 4 a man totally not worthy of it, & d mumu-ness we mumu'ed 4 dis man. den, u r going to wipe ur eyes clean & do what we've advised u all along!

believe me, love. this is d last word am going to say abt this O matter. yeah, am sure i sound like ur mom right now. but i refuse to supercoat it anymore

Tigeress said...

Aphrodite, i thot u & i agreed that O was no good. :) well i understand how u feel sha. But he's clearly distracted by someone/something and not serious. cos even if he cld not make it- courtesy demands that he call to tell u. thats the least he cld have done. U deserve better my dear. a dude who is crazy about you and appreciates what you have to offer.

NEXT!!!!!

Rebirth said...

what kind of game is this? ha, i no gree o. i think u should ignore him for a while. like ur friend said, if he wants u, he knows where to find u. guys love games and he probably is just confused. dont text him or call, if he calss, answer but dont call back or check up on him.........
let him come back on his own terms

Rita said...

Yeah dear, I mixed it up. Sorry. Well, in that case, you know my verdict...not different from what I have said in the past.

Ms Sula said...

He has been clear enough time Aphro. I know you don't want to hear this, but O has been telling you ALL ALONG that he's not that into you...

Maya Angelou said something that stuck with me: "We should trust when a person is telling us who they are" instead of having all those constructs in our heads of who we want them to be.

O is bad news. You deserve better. Just be on your own for a while, trust me, it will do you loads of good.

Miss Definitely Maybe said...

what does a man have to do,
for a woman to finally realise
that it is truly over?
you dont deserve all this BS
surely there comes a point when we should just let go......

Buttercup said...

*sighs*

i really wonder what kinda confusion he's going through..ok, let's ASSUME he's really confused, he's still putting you on a bad ass roller coaster which can't be healthy..it's really UNFAIR to you..can't he see that???????!

ibiluv said...

you need to be spanked

i dont know how long you need him to tell you-i dont want you

i'm kinda tired of reading about you not being able to let go

you and only you indulge him

you miss him because you spend a lot of time thinking about him

the guy doesnt want you

how many ways do you expect him to tell it to you

ask a girlfriend of mine

she was strangled by her ex one night in bed

thats when she understood his blowing hot and cold meant he was not interested

she's not totally over him yet

and she used to torture herself--calling.....texting.....

NO MAN IS EVER TOO BUSY FOR HIS PUSSY

take it anyway you like

he wants to dig it only-he'll make time

he wants to spend the rest of his life with you-he'll make time

i dont care if he has teh key to teh vault of his bank

i know many bankers-they make time

if not physical time

emotional time

guy is giving you neither

you are clinging onto him

fashy his sorry ass
take up a sport(gym)
hang out with your female friends more
make new friends
change jobs
move out

do something new

why

you'll meet someone new

(hate me all u want)

Aphrodite said...

@everyone, thanks thank thanks.
Your advice has been taken o...Ibiluv darling, how can i hate you when all you have said is so true.You actually made me laugh,lol...

@FFF, yea, u sounded like my mum there babes. I don hear o!!!!

@everyone, again, this is the last time i'll come here to whine about O,I promise. As from now he is a closed chapter!

NEXT!!!

:)

ibiluv said...

bless u for not hating me

i just CANT stand it when guys act like stupid mo'fos

for us its so easy to say

I'M NOT INTERESTED

i promise you a guy that will bless the day you came into his life

Padosh said...

This is a vicious cycle just wen you convince urself he is an asshole and u are going to move on, he finds a way to make u doubt urself, u fall back in love and expect things to get better but then its back to the same cycle.

Hun this will go on and on , he isnt ready for a commitment and ul probably want to stay close hoping ur the one to change him, and that if u leave him it ul regret it cos he actuall DID love you.

You need to get out somehow cos its unhealthy for you, it stops you from moving on but wont give you the satisfaction of a true relationship.

Same thing happened to me from the age of 16 till i was 20. Pple that havent felt this wil probably think ur stupid or just plain dumb but its an emotional rollercoaster and i know hoe it feels .

I wish i could tell you wat happened that made me move on, i really dont know i was a virgin for years waiting for this asshole cos i wanted him to be my first but we were never in the right place at the right time but one day i just snapped and i think it helps that he is married now.

My heart goes out to you but even if you get nothing from my ramblings get this

1)Let go!!! Stop creating dreams and fantasies around him and see things the way they are,

2)Iv been there and ur not alone.
Holla if u need anything luv, even if its my hit mans number!!

Afrobabe said...

I am going to be a real friend to you here girl, you are acting all clingy to him and not letting him go and because of that u cant let yourself go on with life either...

If a man wants you he calls u till his calls piss u off...he texts, he is scared at the tot of u not wanting to be with him or even doubting him...let him go...ur demand for a commitment has scared him off, he isn't ready for it or he isn't ready for it with u...

Don't take this too hrad babes, just trying to be a friend...sorry if it offends...

Nice Anon said...

I hope when you say he's a closed chapter that he really is. He has someone else and i wont be surprised if I hear he's getting married soon.

princesa said...

How far?
I hope say u don fashi dat mugu totally o!

Man wey no know good thing, nonsense!

Vera Ezimora said...

Aphrodite, I'm tired of telling you the same thing.

If it walks like a duck, looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it's a darn duck!

In other words, if it seems like O is not serious (which is OBVIOUS), it means he isn't.

U know what it is? He has someone else somewhere that he's tryna make sure he doesn't want or cannot get.

Babe, this one na bridge to nowhere oo. I bin dey talk am sinceeeeee

Anonymous said...

Dearie,

Where emotions are involved,it is very difficult to meddle.
Have you asked him what exactly it is he does at work that makes him so busy that he rises and sets with the sun. If he truly loves you ........... he'll create the time.
Take care

Anonymous said...

This is so sad but its obvious he doesnt want you enough... I found myself getting angry reading your post... you deserve better than him... stop calling him please.
Guys these days are so annoying but when they find a girl they really want they can be really good. the fact that he forgets about you until you remind him via text or calls shoould tell you that its time to move on...cheers
PS your blog is the most interesting Nigerian blog i've read in ages.

Femi Adeyemi said...

I've missed loads of posts on blogville, but i've read all the ones on your front page..Sorry to hear it isn't going so well with boyfie.
I'm probably the last person to think of even giving anyone relationship advise.

All i'd say is that, i pray that God gives you the man who would love you right and treat you the way you want to be treated. Amen!

Take care dear..cyber hugs

Lighty 'neferet' Kopearl said...

am surprised u're still wit O seriously!!!

wot da hell are u still doing wit this guy?

the 1st time i read ur blog. he was the same, as i read along he remained the same.

this guy is still the same. come on aphro, u've got to do better than this guy. honestly.

just imagine u getting married to him, i reckon its gonna be bitter for u. and dearie... i want to believe ure too beautiful to purposely put a burden of heartache on urself.

please listen to no more of his excuses and lies that dont even make sense, the guy is a bummer.

and if i want to be truthful, i'll tell u he's seeing some1else. thats the 1 taking all his time.

please dont stay with him. i know it will be really difficult but u av to let urself breath and be made available for that guy that truly deserves u.

O doesnt, he shuld be past tense.

i dnt mean to come out rude or blunt. forgive mi if i came out that way.

Bond Girl said...

Kick the man to the curb. He is running a game on you. You are now insurance. He knows you will be there and continues to pay your premium with the emotional crap. Cut him loose.

LG said...

Hellooooooooooo' anybodi home?????
i ve got sum hampers 4 u :)
*merry christmas hon'
mwaah'

Waffarian said...

It is very hard sweetie, but hang on, you will get there. Try your best, okay? Ndo...this too will pass. Hold on.

Anonymous said...

The fate of man....i must move on before she does.

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

happy new year, my sista.

Let that sucker go. No mind am!

'Yar Mama said...

Happy New Year.

FineBoy Agbero said...

where are u???

Aphrodite said...

@everyone thanks for ur comments.

QMoney said...

Whoa,i am sure the only reason i dint comment here cos they had said it ALL so there was no point repeating anything.
How are u in God's name?happy new year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

theicequeen said...

*sigh* been reading...if you now how much i relate to this right now ehn...*sigh*

...oya, i'm moving on,his crap is too ridiculous, does he think im stupid? feeding me lame excuses that lack creativity and logic?oya, i won't call or text him. idiot like him, i'm done!...two days later..oya, lemme just send a text, maybe he thinks i'm ignoring him...

me=idiot *sigh* :P

good to know you're working thinks out somehow somehow. hugs

Ewoma said...

your blog is like a movie. keep it up