Stuck in the middle of O and X

So I have been gone for a while. Am sorry guys but duty called and blogging does not put food on my table:), a girl's gat to work for her pay, right?

Anyway, lots have been happening o, I don’t even know where to start from. I must warn you all at this point that this post promises to be a long one o! So grab a snack, sit back and relax as I nack una tory,lol…

Those that have been following my gist know who O and Mr. X are. For those who don’t know, O is my current bobo while Mr. X as his name sounds is my ex-boyfriend.

Some weeks back, I blogged about how Mr. X was staging a serious comeback into my life and proposing marriage.
Well I ‘ll take my gist back to weeks back too. Mr. X had called me that evening to say he was at my house gate and I should come and open the gate for him. I had told him to stop visiting my home so I don’t send the wrong signals to my folks. Knowing my mum, it wont be long before she started asking if we were back together and i was yet to bring O home cos I didn’t know what their reaction would be since he wasn’t Ibo.

So that evening when X came calling, I was in a sour mood. I had been expecting O’s call all day to no avail so I was kinda pissed before X called to say he was at my gate. He wasn’t the one I wanted to see so I snappily told him that he had come at the wrong time and I was sleeping. He wasn’t going to go back so easily without seeing me so he kept pleading that I come down even for 5 mins so he could see my face. I was getting really annoyed at his insistence and when he said “Please honey, just come down so I can give you a kiss before before I leave”, I couldn’t help retorting “Kiss? I have told you to stop deceiving urself, I am not ur girlfriend so stop acting like I am, if you insist on carrying in this way, I’ll have to stop answering ur calls. I am sleeping so just go!”.
I said some more rude stuff to him so I wasn’t surprised when his tone grew angry and he told me that he didn’t like the way I talked to him. He was being nice and caring to me while I always treated him like shit. He was saying “Aphrodite, what do you mean by you will stop taking my calls, you have to mind the things you say to me…” I didn’t wait to listen to the rest of his tirade, I ended the call. Rude… I know…I wanted to be rude.

A while later when i thought about what had happened, I felt remorse at the attitude I had given him and all because of O who didn’t even call me much less visiting. I felt like calling him-X to apologize but I decided to leave things till the following day.

I didn’t call the next day. Two days later, I called him. I thought he was probably still mad at our exchange the last time so I was surprised when I called and he sounded really calm and sweet like nothing happened. He even told me he had wanted to visit me at work that day but couldn’t because of work pressure at his office. When I said I was sorry about how I dropped the phone on him during our last conversation, he quickly accepted my apologies and said that it was okay. He obviously didn’t expect that I would call to apologise so it had come as a surprise to him. Before we ended the conversation, he told me he wasn’t feeling very well and wanted to go to the hospital the next day.

Fast forward to days later, X hadn’t called me unlike him so I called to find out if he was okay.(Guys, I remembered ur advice on how I should not close the door totally on X till I was sure of things with O). It turned out that since the last time we spoke, his sickness had gotten worse and he hadn’t even been going to work. Well, I kept calling each day to check up on him but I realised that he was getting the impression that my calls meant that I had accepted him back into my life cos he kept saying things like- “Come down to the house and prepare Ukwa(an ibo delicacy) for me” or “I was expecting that you would visit after work today”.
He was ill and I didn’t want us to get into any argument so I always replied that I was very busy in the office and couldn’t come.

Meanwhile things with O were going on well although I was feeling that he wasn’t paying me enough attention. He wasn’t calling as often as I would have liked and when I complained that I was feeling neglected, he always apologised and explained that he was caught up with stuff at the office. It was during that period, I wrote my previous post on how I needed some reassurance that he really cared about me the way I did for him.

This gist is getting too long sha. I better get to summarizing sharpish.

Last weekend, I didn’t see O. He had to work Saturday(told you guys some time ago that he is a banker). He had promised to see me after his work that day only to call back and tell me that his car had developed a problem and he wouldn’t be able to make it down as agreed. I told him it was okay although I really wanted to see him. I had even made a new hairdo that day and wanted him to see it. Too bad.

Sunday came and O called to say his car was still bad. Something about overheating and a leaking radiator. He couldn’t drive it until his mechanic had a look at it which wouldn’t be until Monday. I resigned myself to not seeing him again and went out to visit my cousin who had just given birth to a baby girl.

When I returned, X called to say he was around my neighbourhood and wanted to see me. I told him to wait outside my house and went down to meet him. We took a walk down to this cool spot where we used to go in the old days when we were still an item. Then we would go there, sit on the huge stones and gist for long periods.
So that Sunday evening, we went there. It was the first time we would be going there since our break-up more than a year ago. I felt we needed to talk. He needed to understand that my show of concern during his illness was just that-a show of concern from a friend- and didn’t signify that we were back together or that I had broken off my relationship with O although he had never accepted the fact that I was in a relationship anyway.

So I brought up the issue. I told him not to misinterpret my actions during his illness. He laughed as if I had said the funniest thing in the world. He said I was his and that no man could take me away from him. He insisted I wasn’t dating anyone and was only telling him that to make him jealous. Even after showing him some of O’s text messages on my phone, he still refused to acknowledge him. We talked for hours, him pleading that we should start afresh and me insisting I couldn’t just end my relationship with my boyfriend cos he asked it.
I asked him “Why didn’t you just stay out of my life? Why did you have to come back and make things complicated for me?”
I wasn’t prepared for his reply. “Seriously now, do you really want me to leave you? Should I stop coming around you and just forget you?”
Meeen…this was the point where I needed to stamp my foot on the ground and say a very solid YES! But guess what people, I was tongue tied. I didn’t know what to say. His question was very serious and he sounded very final about it like if I just say yes, he would leave and never bother me again. I wasn’t too sure if that was what I really wanted anymore. These past weeks, he had been really loving, bringing back memories of how good we were together. Unlike O, he really showers me with attention the way I like not to forget that he is Ibo and catholic like me. My folks like him and am not sure if they would accept O.
All these were thoughts racing through my mind as I sat there. He was looking at me, waiting for an answer to his question then he asked again. “Do you want me to leave you alone? If that’s what you want, then I will cos I don’t want you mentioning another guy again after today”
I looked into his face and I knew he meant every word he was saying.
“Can I give you an answer when next we see?”
“No, i need an answer now”
“I said I’ll give you an answer when next we see”
“And when will that be? Tomorrow?”
“No not tomorrow…next Saturday, I’ll definitely have an answer for you by then”

That’s it friends. I still haven’t decided what to do next. I have two options before me.
One, accept X back and leave O or Two, tell X to go to hell and stick with O.

I should also add that yesterday-Monday, O surprised me by showing up very early in my office. He said he had some official errand to run in the area and wanted to use that opportunity to see me since he had missed me so much. I was very happy. It’s the little things like that bring the smile to my face. Later on in the day, I was chatting with O online and brought up the issue of my ex. I told him X wanted us to get back together and I needed to know exactly how he felt about me cos sometimes I am not so sure if his feelings for me are really strong and not just some fickle infatuation cos i've got a pretty face and a nice body.
I wanted to hear him say how much he loved me and how it would break his heart if I left him for some other guy and how he would give me more attention from now on.
He didn’t say any of that. Instead he asked me what I wanted to do. His question was: “So do you want to go back with ur ex?” I replied “No but I need to know that you will be there for me always”.
His reply was that he was the one who wasnt sure of me and my feelings for him.
Later that night, he sent me a text message that read- “I feel like I have already lost you”.

Guys I have to stop here now cos if una leave me I go just dey yarn dey go.
I need your sincere advice everyone.