Thanks guys for all the love and concern you showed me when I was at my lowest. You guys are more like family than online friends. Everyday I thank God I started this blog, how would I have met all you wonderful peeps?
I am doing great, better than I ever thought I would. I still miss him-O, plenty but what can a girl do? A popular proverb in Igbo says “Person wey dem reject no dey reject imself”. I am trying to take my mind off him by burying my head in work (These days the piling desk is very welcome). And this weekend I'm going to register in the gym.
It’s all about me as from now on!
I have never been a ‘Clinger’ my whole life. By ‘Clinger’, I mean the person who tries to cling on to a loved one even when all the signs are there that he/she is not wanted. I have always believed that ‘Clinging’ is only postponing the ‘hangday’. If a partner is no longer interested in a relationship, he/she may take pity on you cos of your desperado moves(begging and clinging) but I assure you, it is only a matter of time before the insults start coming and you finally get dumped flat on your ass or probably you finally ‘wisened’ up and packed your ‘kaya’ out of the toxic relationship.
Even in my early days of relationships, I have never subscribed to the idea of ‘Clinging’. In fact, many of my friends know that I have always maintained the principle of ‘Leave before he breaks your heart’. Once you see the signs-He doesn’t call as he used to, he is always busy… he doesn’t answer when you call, he doesn't return your call or reply your messages….Girl plzzzzzzzzzz remove your slippers and start running. That guy is no more interested. He has probably found someone else and doesn’t know how to tell you. Let him go.
I almost became a ‘Clinger’.
I almost became the woman I never wanted to be.
I called, I texted, I called some more and texted some more too
Almost lost a sense of who I was because of a man…
Then it was like cold water poured on a sleeping man.
It hit me like a jolt.
I was becoming the ‘Clinger’
I had to stop and think…
I came here, blogged…
And you guys came through for me
You all gave me the wake up call I needed.
the strength I needed to let go.
I haven’t called for 8 days now.
I haven’t sent a text for 5 days now.
I have no intention of doing any of the above
I have decided to move on...
He doesn’t deserve an ounce of me
I will find my man, my love…
I believe it now
After that dream I had some nights ago…
I know it will happen
I believe it.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
I won't be a 'Clinger'
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46 comments:
you haven't called for 8 days, and he didnt call u back?
neways, you'll be fine babes.
he's not worth the hassle
you deserve
someone you can
spend the rest of your life
loving not begging.
Take care sweetie
Aphrodite- na correct sense wey u get. I dont get it with women and that are clinging- dont they have self pride? Beg man- tofiaka!!!! did it when i was 20- first and the last time!!! There is no need. There are guys that wld remove their eyes for u so why pine over one that clearly doesnt send you. I hope our fellow female bloggers will take after u. U rock jare!!! As i always say- u'll get over him. keep busy, get toasters, do whatever- eventually u'll think of him less.
@bumight. I am fine already dearie. Thanks.
@Tisha, thanks babes.
@tigeress, yea all babes need to wisen up. The guys too cos there are some guys that will just be forcing themselves on a girl that doesnt want them.
It's not even fair on you so stop!
hmmm...u're on the rite path...
I'm glad u finally took this step. Your own man will come in the rite time. One that will truly love u.
Yes babe, u deserve beta.
Stay strong babe, you will be fine,*hugs*
thank God for the 'cold water'
at least now you can concentrate on trying to put the past behind you so that you can move on...slowly but surely
glad you feel better.
I might have been a member of team O, back then but gurl u're doing the right thing, there's no point on you holding on, you'll be just fine...and as always we will be here for you xoxo
Good for you, babes!!! I always had my suspicions about him - dunnow why. He has not removed any doubts from my mind either. Eight days and he hasn't called?!
Babe, don't worry. Hapu cha! I'm also searching for "the one." I hope to know him when I see him. I know one thing 4 sure: I will not be begging him 2 call me. What rubbish!
You'll be surprised @ the wonderful men that will come ur way. When you meet someone who truly loves & appreciates you, you'll be amazed @ how much time you wasted with the wrong guy.
All my love....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xv6lHwWwO3w
Here is some therapy, get the loudest speakers you can find even if u have to borrow it, put on high heels and make up and hold get a hairbrush and blast this song then sing to ur hearts content.
Or better yet grab some friends and go for to a Kareokee bar and let it RIP!!!!
Im happy for you. Finally is all that's going through my mind right now. When falling, in anything at all, career, relationships etc, if you dont reach the lowest and fall the hardest, you will hardly understand what is happening. but at that zero point you realise it. what you do after realising is what is important. and im glad you have decided. pls dear, don't waver in your decision. u deserve the very best. everybody does.
i went through the same circle you did too and today all i can do is thank God more and more He didn't answer the prayers I prayed for righting that terrible relationship because He wanted the best for me.
And it's same for you. He has a plan. letting go and Letting Him is good. He will surprise you and all you will wonder is where this love has been all the while.
Good girl you are now. now we can be real friends.
aww Dearest! I am so proud of you. Please keep putting yourself FIRST afterall you only really have yourself at the end of the day. And remember yours will come too. Kisses!
OGADINMA
Awwwwh....babes, this was a long time coming. Glad you finally took a decision. It's his loss not urs.
@s.chic, thanks.
@Iwalewa, Amen. Thanks babes.
@naijalines, yes i do
@30+, *Hugs back* Thanks sis.
@MissDM, yes thank God.
@incognaija, thanks bro...
@shona, thanks babes
@Vera, we shall find 'em good guys,Amen.
@padosh, thanks for the suggestion.
@uzezi,lol...now we can be real friends. Okay so lets start with a hug?
@temite,thanks babes. One has to think about herself first.
@LG, abi o...Hope dey.
@princesa, yea...long time coming...
yes u can!!!!!!!!
believe it
the one for you shall not pass you
Your doing the right things...gym, work, etc...any distractions are good when 'unclinging'
I believe it too. The right man will come at the right time.
Keep your head up!
xx
glad uve moved on nd did nt become a "clinger". There are other men out there who would kill to have u. like princesa said, its his loss not urs..
Yeah we men can tend to be insensitive at times. Sorry for the pain, hope u feel better
You go girl. That clinger persona just rubs you in the dirt. You don't want to be that, and you will not be that! Go full speed ahead & explore yourself. Get excited about YOU. Fall in love with YOU all over again. Enjoy life...You will be fine, I know.
If he calls tomorrow....?
Senior babes do not cling! And we for sure do not call or text. Erase the guy from your life. If he did not have the sense to come on hands and knees, he is not worth your time, effort or brain function/capacity.
God made you beautiful, if the guy eye no open, make e go!
Take care, girl!
Kai, Solo-Sydelle said it too well - "if the guy eye no open, make e go!" U're better than that hun! Way better!
@ibiluv, Amen. I believe it.
@NDQ, thanks babes.
@naijaidol, yea i guess...
@omocalabar, it still hurts but i'll survive. Thanks.
@anyaposh, thanks darl...
@okeyC.C, unless God intervenes, my mind is made up.
@solomonsydelle, thanks for the encouragement dear.
@anyaposh,YES I AM!
Take care babe!
You will be okay. Just keep busy like you said. Be strong.
Everything will eventually pass, you just have to hold on. Ndo.
Knowing when to quit and accepting it is an elusive cure to certain relationships for some people. You have it going for you and as such, you are going to come out alright.
Pele, you will be fine o Aphro, 8days is a long time for not calling the supposed person you love, unless he is in hospital and about to die i can understand but you will be more than fine my dear. Hang in there, a better one is on the way.
have u guys broken up..??ave i been gone that long???
am sure u will be alright...pele...its his loss
I'm glad you have finally decided to stop contacting him. You calling him and all that gives him some kinda power over you. I know how scared you must be . . like Gosh will i ever meet someone who will love me? blah blah. I have been through a similar situation except mine was waay worse.BUT with time . . you will snap out of it. Trust me you will.
Good for your babes!!!
Wow you've joined the gym...hmmn is someone gonna look "hawtre" for xmas?!!!
Go gal!!!
Evryone here already said all i was goin to say,
so i will say ..congrats gal, get ready to have fun with 'the one' soon, God's grace
@waffy,thanks babes.
@emeka, i hope i will...
@laughter, lol...he isnt in hospital or about to die. It's obvious he isnt interested anymore.
@doll, yes its his loss.
@nice anon, thanks.
@no limit, i wish,lol...
@ms.emmotions, AMEN :)
If he calls tomorrow...?
----------------------
Send him to hell then he will come back to you.
Then show him hell if you can.
But can you generate some hell ?
I doubt you can. You are not capable I am sure...
I have been following your blog for quite some time, but I had refrained from commenting on the O saga...
I didn't believe O was the one. But I also don't believe in telling people what they should do, especially when like you they seem to have a very solid head on their shoulders. I read as you described your outings, his reactions and behaviors and I knew at some point you would realize what was happening.
I hate to sound cliche, but when one door closes, 10 windows might open.
You're taking the right approach. Focus on YOU, grow YOU, build YOU, love YOU.
And the rest will fall into place as it may.
Good luck dearie.
awww...i was a clinger oh and i have never been one b4!!! so i had to shoot him down :( he also shot me down though! these men..hiss abeg they can make u self desturct oh...we'll always come thru sha!
don't worry love. wen d right man comes, it'd all make sense. sometimes we need to be dumped hard on our ass 4 our eyes to open. den, u'd look back & realise u aren't experiencing anything new. or maybe u r experiencing them in higher magnitude, but it's not new 2 u at all. now, u tell urself, am going to look 4 a man what wouldn't do d same 2 me. am going to date a different kind of man. am going to do things different 2 attract this different kind of man. then u finally realise, u really had to be banged in d head 2 wake up. it's well, sista. we have all been 2ru this (most of us sha), & have our war tales. good thing is we r not signing our victory songs
Thats the spirit sweetie...u'll be just fine. The man God made just for u will come ur way. Mwah!
@chukbyke,lol...i can only laugh bro but dont underestimate me, i just might be the typical scorned woman. Remember hell hath no fury...
@ms.sula, thanks babes.
@misslove, yes we will
@fff, lots of sense made there dear.
@buttercup, yes he will. Thanks.
....the aftermath is known.
Why does it happen thus? Unfortunately, they 'always' come back.
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