Chronicles of a girl in search of love

STUCK AT D STATION.

2009-12-14T03:37:00.000-08:00

Had a depressing weekend.

Right from Saturday when Bobo Nice handed me that card...his traditional wedding card , I haven't been able to shake off this feeling....this feeling of being left behind.

Of cos, I smiled and gushed about how happy I was for him but deep down, I felt an ache.

Don't get me wrong, I never wanted to marry him and it's not like am regretting not saying yes to his proposal. NO.

Just that well...i just feel...I don't know how to explain this sad feeling!

To worsen things he told me he was travelling this weekend to attend the wedding of a mutual friend of ours.

It was't just the fact that I wasn't invited to the wedding that saddened me...

It just feels like the train has left me behind.

SANTA, I ONLY WANT ONE THING!

Okay...okay...I know it's not the best comeback post but pls bear with me people. Will be back soon hopefully.

Bobo Nice, O & Mr. Holland Update

2009-08-25T06:59:00.000-07:00

How una dey my peeps?

Me I just dey bubble like champagne o!

Nice anon & Madam Verastic wanted to know about Bobo Nice & Mr. Holland so here's the update:

Bobo Nice & I are still cool though there hasnt been any talk of relationship much less marriage between us since last year when he sat me down and proposed for the umpteenth time.

Sadly, I turned him down. I felt really bad for him but there was nothing I could do. My head dey scatter for O dat time sef :).

I told him I was in love with someone else and couldnt be with him. He took it badly sha and since then stopped calling as frequently as before. I guess the bobo was trying to forget me so I helped him out by not bothering him too.

This year, we've seen a couple of times and spoken too tho like i said earlier, it hasnt been as frequent as before. His birthday was yesterday and I called to wish him a happy birthday. We used to celebrate our birthdays together since they are only a few days apart(mine is Sept 2nd so start getting ur pressies ready o...).

We usually have a birthday dinner or hang out at the beach or go see a movie and we would definitely exchange gifts. Well,this year, I wasnt expecting anything of the sort seeing as we haven't been very close of late so u can imagine my surprise when i asked him how he was celebrating and he replied " As usual now...i'll come by to see you this weekend so we'll plan it". I said fine, no wahala..

Anyway, he still thinks i'm still with O and I dont intend to correct that impression. Truth is, I still don't feel he is the man I want to spend my life with.(sorry Bobo Nice Fans)

Talking about O, the guy called me some weeks back o! Telling me how he misses me and wants us to be back together. Me thinks he isn't serious and just wants to find out if I still got the hots for him. He sent me this text a few days ago:

"I miss you, what wouldnt I do for one kiss....ok...ok...I know I ask for too much but at least a great, big, warm hug will do for starters"

Imagine the cheek!

Devil go solder im yansh!,lol...(pardon my french).

I no kuku reply the maga jare.

And to even show that he is still as inconsistent as ever, he hasn't even called since the last time. talk about a leopard never changing his spots.

Back to better people jare,

Mr. holland and I have been getting on quite well o. In fact since I decided to stop harassing the poor guy on the phone(I used to be very rude yet it didnt put him off), I have actually discovered that he has a good sense of humour as in he cracks me up a lot with the silly stuff he says at times.

He is actually coming into the country to see me in a two weeks time. Yes to see moi!

Okay I admit, I hoodwinked him into coming :)

He had told me that he planned his leave for December so he could spend Xmas in Naija. Well, yours sincerely told him that maybe he would also be attending my wedding when he came cos by Xmas, I may just be settling down.

Guess what, dude called me a couple of days later to say he was going to take week off work to come down to Naija to see me so come second week in September, I'm going to meet him.

According to him, once I see him, i'll never let him go. make we dey watch now...

So far, he has quite some pluses going for him.

I have totally pissed him off several times deliberately to see his reaction and yes he had gotten really angry and sometimes vented but always calls back to apologise and say "Lets talk about it" unlike some people I used to know :0

...and then, not forgetting that he has the ability to make me laugh too.

Oh and did I mention he is from my villa? That is sure to please my folks,lol...

No, I dont love him yet o, let's wait till he comes to see if the sparks will fly by then.

Got plenty to yarn but lets save some of the tory for later, aight?

Love u all...

Aphro

THE EVIL THAT MEN DO....

2009-08-12T01:30:00.000-07:00

I met him a couple of months ago.

Handsome, Suave, Good dresser(you all know how i heart this!), Funny, Caring, Godfearing (I thought) and a lot more...

I should have seen the red sign blinking, I mean one couldn't be that perfect yet unsnagged by all this Lagos Chicks wey their eye dey red(I follow o!),lol...

I was wary though...

Coming from where I was with O and all...

I wasn't ready to commit my emotions to another guy just yet.

Despite his insistence that I let him in, I fastened the door to my heart and buried the key.

And just when I thought, maybe this guy was for real and decided to open up the door ajar. It turns out he was just a PRETENDER-a wolf in sheep clothing!

Somebody please tell me, are there still good guys out there?????!!!!

I can't believe that all the time, he was pleading with me: "Give me a chance baby to prove myself. I want something serious with you...Girl, I'm in LOVE with you...bla bla bla"...

...this dude was very very MARRIED!

When I heard it from E, I thought she was joking until I saw the wedding website and pictures.

It was a mega Shock for me....I mean, stuff like this was only supposed to happen in the movies and books and to make it worse, he had only just been married three months!!!

What was his agenda?

To get me to love him back, jump into his bed(I almost did o...yes he was the guy from last post) and then what??

Some guys are just bastards!

P.S: He has been calling, begging me to allow him explain. Explain what abeg??!! I just pity im wife.

Sensibly Horny,lol...

2009-07-28T02:41:00.000-07:00

His lips on my breast ignited passions long forgotten.

As his hand wandered downwards, I knew what was coming

A part of me wanted to stop him for sensible reasons…

another wanted the pleasure to go on forever,

“Come on girl, it’s been a while!” my naughty mind urged.

Uuuuhh….aaahhhh…..stroke me…yea….like dat…yea…

The sound of his zipper brought me back to earth. Hmmm... did I really want to go this far yet?

Oh but I REALLY, TRULY want this!

I pulled his head up from my breast.

“Where is the Condom?”

“I don’t have any”

“ Whaaaaaaaaaaaat???!!! So what’s ur plan? You want to do without?

“Come on baby, it don’t matter, I won’t come inside of you…” he pleaded.

“Dude! Who is talking about coming? You aint ever heard of AIDS???”

“Come on babe, I'm clean…pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeee”

“Please ke? Okay so u are clean, do you know if I am? Abeg bros e no do me like dat!”

I went to bed horny as hell.

But I guess it’s better than risking my life for a few minutes of pleasure.

Missed u all...

Aphro

Lunch + Room =????

2009-06-03T03:04:00.000-07:00

Been away too long, right?
Really ...really sorry for abandoning my peeps like dat.
I could say that I've ben busy as hell...
or that I travelled for an official assignment.
But that would be a lie...
I have come here, lots of times with so much to write about, yet there was no zeal to put down anything.
I have been at your blogs, yes all ur blogs!
Read all the gists but left as silently as I came.
Dont ask me why cos I dont know...
Just had this silly reluctance to show my presence,lol...

Today, I said, warrahelll!
I'm gonna put something down on this blog whether the devil likes it or not,lol...

Got nothing much to say tho....
I've been okay, work's been good, Family's fine. Nothings's happened in my love life yet. Not that the toasters aint coming but am not ready to commit my heart to just any guy anymore especially after what happened with O.
I'm gonna take my time...no rush.

I just got a text from one of my clients now. It read:
" Hi, Aphro, Is ABC Hotel okay for lunch? Should I book a room so that we can have a good chat? We can order Room service, if you dont mind. Pls reply."

My reply was: "ABC is okay. No need booking a room, we can chat conveniently at the restaurant. Thank you."

Shouuuuuuu!!!

My people, see me see wahala o...

You wan carry me go lunch, wetin concern booking room inside that one now? Abi no be extra something this one dey find?lol...

Okay lemme explain,

This guy is married. He has been my client for more than 3 years now so we are kinda very friendly as in chat on a personal level some times.
He offered to take me to lunch sometime last year and since then I have been non commital.

Well, yesterday after a meeting I had with him. I accepted his offer for lunch.
I was especially feeling very grateful to him cos I had gone to apologise for something that happened on a job he gave my company to handle. It was my fault and I had to fix it, my boss had emphasized.
Luckily for me, he(client) graciously accepted the apology but again raised the issue of lunch which I agreed to.

Now this text message...

Men! Men!!!

Why do they do this...all the time???

But wait o...am I thinking too far? Maybe it's just an innocent request?

Ur take guys?

Still smoking like fire!!!!

2009-04-02T03:37:00.000-07:00

While at work yesterday, my cousin called to say she was dropping by...
She's starting her biz and wanted some PR ideas...
"You look good!" she exclaimed when she came.
"Thanks" I replied, taking a sweeping look at myself.
Just a black shirt on a black & white skirt. What's the big deal, I thought.
Took an excuse from Mr. Boss...
Then we headed to a nearby eatery for a hearty meal and some discussion.

Meal...nice
Discussion...going well...
Waiter calls me out to move my car cos someone needed to leave.
On my way back in...
"Excuse me Ma'am" It was the waiter.
"Yes?" I turned to him.
Handing a Business card to me...
"A customer asked me to give this to you"
Quick glance at the card. It read ...bla bla bla Motors....M.D...
"Which Customer?" I queried.
"He has left. He tried to get your attention but couldnt so he asked me to give you this so you can call him"

*Na so dem dey call?*(in my head)

Got back to the table.
Dropped Card in front of my cousin.
Eye brows raised, "What's this?" she asked
"The new style of toasting"
We both laughed.

Still eating and ideas flowing...
I glanced to the table on my left.
This dude was staring...as in really STARING at me.
Looked away...
Looked again...
He mouthed the words "Y-O-U L-O-O-K B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L"
I looked away, pretending I didnt get the message.

Mid-discussion with cousin, dude butts in.
"Sorry, but are you a wedding planner?" No dude, am not Oluwadee,lol... (In my head)
He was looking at me.
Cousin looks irritated.
I look amused. Actually I was amused.
What a line...
"No I' m not" smiling, I turn my attention back to Coz.

I was describing something to her,
She was listening attentively
He was staring stupidly,lol....
"You know, you will do very well as a marketer in a bank"
It was the guy again,
Cousin was irritated again,
I was amused, yet again.

"I am in marketing, but I dont work in a bank"
"Can I get your card?"
Split-second thinking...
It wont hurt...
He may even be a new business prospect...
"Okay" I handed over my Biz card.
"I'll call you" he said as he got up to leave.

I turn to cousin.
Now, she looks amused.
"Babe, you haven't lost it sha...you still smoking like fire!!"

*Smug Smile*

"Oh yes I am! Too bad for those who can't see it..."

Pain...

2009-03-23T08:35:00.001-07:00

Guys...
My heart just broke as in literally shatter to pieces.
I thought it was already broken and I was trying to put the pieces back together...
I thought the worst was over and it could never get any more painful or worse...
But the pain I feel right now is even worse than the one I felt before.
The ache I feel in my heart is so real...
So real, I can almost touch it.

I didnt know he still had the power to hurt me like this.
Was it that somewhere in my heart, I still hoped...
or maybe somehow I still cared even when I told myself otherwise?

Why then did that little phrase I just saw on his FB page affect me so?
Why did I feel like the world was pulled off from under my feet when I read it?
I wont lie...
My eyes stung from trying to hold back the tears.
My heart beat increased from anxiety...

It was only a short phrase...
a short phrase on his FB page...
a short phrase that hurt me and broke my heart all over again...
A short phrase that said...
"In a relationship"

Of course, I didnt expect him to live a hermit's life.
I even suspected it was another woman all along...
but it still came as a shock(don't know why)

I confess
I secretly hoped...
Prayed...
That he was pining away...
missing me terribly...

Lol...
A silly wish, I know

But guys...

He used to profess undying love to me...

We made all those crazy plans for our future together...

Its only natural that I feel this way, right?

You know that part that hurts the most?

All through the months we dated, he never put it up there
on Facebook that he was in a relationship.

Maybe I should just take him off my FB friends list.

What do y'all feel?

:( :(

Standards or Limitations??

2009-03-16T09:23:00.000-07:00

Hey guys!

What’s good?

Happy new week to you all...

Not much have been going on in my Love life o...

Okay except for my suitor from Holland. Yea the one I spoke about in my last post. The one whose English is not Kosher(like Afrobabe puts it,lol…)

Let's call him Mr.Holland from now on...

He hasn’t relented in calling me and sending text messages despite my unfriendly attitude at times.

My younger sister even called me ‘Harsh’ once when I told him matter-of-factly on the phone:

“I can’t marry you cos you don’t have a University education…”

He wasn’t fazed by my statement anyway and replied:

“But I can always get a University education. In fact I have plans to…”

The guy seems determined sha…

Anyway...

My love horoscope reading today says:

“You’re a true delicacy and if others can't see that, they don't deserve you. So stop selling yourself short. Your rare qualities are a fantastic match for someone who adores you. Hooking up just to hook up is truly a waste of your time right now”

It amazes me how right on point these readings can be at times.

Here I was beginning to think maybe I should take it easy with Mr. Holland and give him a chance after all,

Now this reading don put ‘comma’ inside o…

Now people what do you think this means?

That I shouldn’t lower my standards just because I want to get married?

Talking about standards…

Why do we limit ourselves with these standards sef?

:)
Be back shortly…

Ese o...

2009-03-13T01:33:00.000-07:00

OMG!

I have been so out of touch in blogville.

Sorry my people o...flenty flenty tins to do like Musa my maiguard says,lol...

Logged into the naija Bloggers Award page this morning only to find that I was nominated for an award- Best Personal Blog.

I just wanted to say Ese o..., Daalu nu o... Thank you o...to everyone who nominated my blog.

I never expected to get a nomination seeing as there are so many lovely, interesting Naija blogs out there.

Even if i no win, my belle dey full with happiness.

But wait o...make una go complete wetin una start o...

Won't be bad to win the award, dont you think?

Then we'll all have a very merry party :) :)

Catch ya...

The dream, the Vision and the Suitors...

2009-02-19T04:12:00.000-08:00

Last night, I got a text from a secondary school friend. She is getting married this weekend and had gotten my number from another friend of ours so she sent me an invite to her wedding.
In the text she had included her wedding website so this morning, I decided to check it out.
Their's was a sweet love story. As I browsed through the website I kept telling God in my heart-“Father this is what I want, this is what I want…”
Their love story inspired me and almost made me believe that someday even I will find love.

Now to the main koko of the my gist today,

A few days back, I got a call from a strange number. It was an international call from Holland.
I picked up. The caller was strange too but he knew my name cos he went:
“Hello, am I speaking to Aphro?”
I replied in the affirmative and he went on to introduce himself.
He was from my town, had gotten my number from my cousin, blab la bla…
I instantly knew what was up.
Someone had been doing some matchmaking!

Fast forward to days later.
I have learnt more about the guy cos he has been calling everyday and we chatted a few times online.
Some stuff i have learnt...
He isn’t bad looking (seen his webcam)
He works in a transport company in Holland.
He seems honest (He told me he works as a transport officer aka Driver. Many guys will not do this. They’d rather form and feed you lies. Trust me, am talking from experience)
But wait for this…
Bobo dey ‘tagbon’ well well for im English o! meaning am not too impressed with his spoken English especially with the fact that I happen to have an excellent grasp of the language.
Na that last one spoil the whole matter.lol…
One thing I appreciate in the opposite sex is a man with eloquence. A man who speaks well. A man whom I wont be too embarrassed to introduce to my friends for fear of him ‘disgracing’ me,lol…
No, he doesn’t have to speak phonetics and all, he just needs to know his tenses and not make statements like-“ I wented to work this morrrin”
LOL….
Okay he is not that bad sha but am not impressed with what I have heard coming from his mouth so far.

However, the kain dream wey I dream last night don put me for ‘Gbagharia’ (Confusion).

In the dream, I was with my parents and some relations and somehow we were talking about a suitor who was asking for my hand in marriage.
I had told them that I wasn’t interested in the man cos he wasn’t my type.
My mum then replied that it was okay. If he wasn’t my type, someone better will come along.
Next thing, someone in the meeting(cant remember which of my aunts it was) shouted:
“Haaaa…don’t say that o. Don’t you know that this is spiritual. She will keep finding faults with everyman that comes her way and in the end, she’ll never marry. Let her stop finding fault and marry this man before it is too late o!”

I woke up at that point and spent sometime thinking about that dream before sleep came again.
Since morning, I have been thinking about this dream. I havnt even been able to properly concentrate on my work all day.

I recalled something a friend once told me when we were in the university.
She was one of the “born again’ ones then in school but we had a good rapport.
One day, she approached me and told me about a dream/vision she had about me.
According to her, in the dream, she had seen me with so many suitors coming around, yet I rejected each one and it was revealed to her that I had a marine husband that was determined that I’d never get married in real life. He was the one who was always making me find one fault or the other in my suitors and even if I love someone, something will come between us to break the relationship.She went further to tell me that I may end up being unmarried if I didn’t go for deliverance and reject the spiritual husband.

Anyway, I did go for deliverance then and rejected the ‘so called’ spiritual husband but that incident had stayed with me ever since.

To be honest, I have had more than my fair share of suitors. More than your average girl.
In fact, I started having suitors since I was 17years.
Many of my cousins and friends always tell me that they are surprised I am still single till date. Everyone thought I’d be married with a brood of kids by now .

I still have some suitors hanging around, begging me to accept them.

There is K who hasn’t given up all these while even after all the shabby treatment I have given him.
There is Bobo Nice who is still hoping against hope.
There is this new guy who seems quite serious.

Now what is my problem?
Why can’t I accept one of them and take the plunge?
What is it I am looking for?
Why do I seem to find faults here and there?

And to worsen matters, the man I finally met and loved decided he didn’t want to be with me.

Na wa…
Am I under a curse?
Do I have a spiritual husband for real?

What do u think guys?
Help a sister out,plzzzzzzzzzz...

I still search...

2009-02-11T07:46:00.000-08:00

In a couple of days, It will be St.Valentine's day.

Sadly I am one of those who are not looking forward to it.

I wish I could go to bed on the 13th and wake up to the 15th. It's silly yea, but that's how i feel.

This is not the way I hoped things would turn out.

This is not the love-life I ordered.

I dreamt of celebrating Val's day with the one I loved-the one I would have willingly given up everything for.

But sadly, it is not going to be.

It's all good though...

I'm still alive and that counts for something, right?

As long as there is life, there is hope...

If not this year, then next year...

I wont give up in my search for lasting love.

I still search...

PS: To all of you my darling friends, happy Vals day in advance.

REWIND

2009-01-15T03:59:00.000-08:00

I logged into my blog this morning to find a whole lot of comments.

Thanks peeps. I know you all got my back but somehow it seems as if my last post generated a lot of furore.
Apparently ‘Submission’ is a very controversial/sensitive issue for many people/couples.
After reading all your opinions, I think its only fair to voice out exactly what I feel about a woman submitting to her husband/boyfriend in a relationship.
I believe it’s not just plain this & that or black and white.
One has to apply a lot of wisdom and caution to matters of the heart. I also agree with princesa that there can’t be two captains in a ship. One person has to defer to the other.

The bible tells us that it’s the woman’s duty to defer to her husband but who says a woman can’t steer the ship for, instance? Some times a man out of LOVE can decide to let his wife/girlfriend’s decision prevail. It doesn’t mean he has let go of his position as the head of the home. It only means that he is mature enough to know that they are in the ship together and have equal stakes as individuals.
I think it all boils down to the big word-LOVE. If a man loves his wife thoroughly, submission won’t be an issue cos it will come naturally to the woman. It’s simple!

That's just my opinion. Feel free to disagree. Check out this blog too. She has something interesting to say on the issue of submission between couples.

FFF, you wanted to write about this issue too. Go ahead dear as long as no names are mentioned.

Moving on, I want to apologise for just hitting you guys with that previous post without giving you some background gist first which was why Laughter was asking if I was the one who initiated the meeting with O’s mum.

Anyway, I have decided to put up this post that I had typed before the last one. I wasn’t able to post it then and somehow, events just overtook each other.

I must warn you tho, it’s in my usual fashion, very looooong! lol…You might want to grab some popcorn and coke first ;) Oh well, just read on.

I look forward to reading ur comments meanwhile I’ll be at ur spots sooner that you know…
Kisses…

THE POST THAT SHOULD HAVE COME BEFORE

Hey guys!
I’m sorry if it seemed as if I had gone AWOL on you all.
First of all, let me say a very big Happy New year to everyone.
HhhhaaaappppyyyyyyNnnneewwwyyyeeeaaarrrr!!!!!
Hmmmmmphhh…*catching back my breath*
May 2009 be a year of fulfillment for all of us, Amen.

A lot’s been happening to me just that I haven’t had time to blog for a while. Been busy rounding up 2008, work and all…

Now I have a lil’ bit time, I guess I’ll just update you all on the happenings.

No I haven’t found a new love yet although there have been prospects just that they weren’t my type.

One of them was a cousin of a friend who is based in the U.S but returned to the country for the Xmas hols. I had gone to visit this friend on Xmas day, okay it was more like I had gone to eat Xmas rice at her place,lol…I hadn’t bothered to cook cos I was home alone(everyone had traveled to the Village for Xmas) and my friend had invited me to have lunch at hers so off I went.
Got there, ate and was busy chatting with her when this cousin of hers walked into the sitting room.
Her younger sister exclaimed:
“Aha! Aphro, have you met my fine cousin?”
I turned to look at the new comer.
He was fine all right but not my type of fine. For one, he was too light and looked like he used bleaching creams. That was number one minus. I didn’t want to be dragging cream in the house with my man,lol…don’t mind me ;)

I passed by him in the hallway as I was leaving their house and said goodbye but dude pulled me back and started asking for my details(name & number). I didn’t like the way he went about it but I didn’t want to embarrass him in front of my friend so I acquiesced and gave him the info he sought. His approach was number 2 minus for him tho.

Now, he is back in the U.S and has called me twice already but I don’t see any potential hook-up with him sha.

Maybe I’m still hung on O.
Scratch that, I am still hung up on him.
Yea, I know some of you might want to give me a slap right now,lol….
But the truth is that I still love him too much for my own good.
The temptation to call him has been really strong since this new year especially after my visit to Uncle E’s place on the 1st.

I had gone to visit Uncle E after I saw him at a family function and he had insisted I come by. He was alone with his wife at home when I went. All his kids were grown up now and were either married or on their own.

We had a nice time, gisting and all…Uncle E had always been fun to hang with. He has this very youthful disposition to life and always refers to himself as a ‘small boy’,lol…
His wife is also very warm so I was enjoying my time with them until talk about ‘O’ came up.
Remember his wife is O’s aunt. Refer to this post here.

So somehow the talk drifted to O. I think it was when uncle started complaining about his youngest son who worked in a bank and how he never had time for himself cos he was always working. He had even worked on Xmas day!
Then he said “It’s the same thing O’s mum is complaining about him. He is always working even on weekends, It’s too bad what these banks are doing to our young ones”

I agreed with him but also remarked that in O’s case, I seriously doubt if it was only the bank job that was keeping him busy.

Uncle laughed and retorted “What else then? Okay and you too!” His wife joined in the laughter. I had to defend myself. “Me? Noooo! He hardly even has time for me. In fact to tell you guys the truth we are no more together”

Of course, they were curious to know the whole story so I had to tell them. His aunt(uncle E’s wife) kept insisting that there was no other girl and it was his work at the bank that was keeping him always busy. Uncle was of the opinion that he wouldn’t vouch for him cos he was a young man and anything was possible.

Uncle E’s wife also mentioned that she had spoken to him a few days back and enquired about me. According to her he didn’t say anything to suggest that we had broken up. I only replied that maybe he didn’t want them to know.

They however said they were going to call him to hear his own side of the matter despite my insisting that it wasn’t necessary and I didn’t want him (O) to feel as if I came to report to them so that they could talk to him.

Later that same evening, when I was at home. Guess who called?
O’s mum.
She had called to wish me a happy new year and then she asked the question again:
“What is happening, why haven’t we been seeing you?”
I tried to dodge the question by saying it was nothing.
Then she said “I want to see you. Can you come by the house sometime?”
I answered “Okay ma”

I have been thinking whether to go see her or not. Maybe Uncle E’s wife had talked to her. I don’t want O to start feeling important or anything like that. His ego is already big enough but I also don’t want to appear disrespectful to O’s mum.

What do u guys think?

More gist...

Ehen…O and I had a long midnight conversation last night.
It all started with a text he sent that read thus:

“I’m listening to your boy Chris Brown singing our song-‘With you’ and am hearing the song in your voice. Why did you change and plunge us into this state of existence? Why Aphro?”

I didn’t quite understand him so I sent a reply:
“Me, plunge us into this state? It was you who decided you had had enough of the relationship and stayed away. I only left you alone to lick my wounds in private. Am not surprised tho, it’s always my fault when things go wrong”

He replied:
“Nne m, its not like that. I have my faults too. U just don’t strike me as making enough effort to meet me halfway on issues. If I didn’t come to you, why didn’t you attempt to come to me?”

My reply:
U talk about meeting you halfway when you didn’t even take a step? Maybe am old fashioned but I still believe a man should make the first move and the woman will follow”

Him:
“Remember when u would come see me on ur way out of the office. I always felt so happy seeing you. Was that old fashioned?

Me:
"That should tell you, I would do much more only if I felt that u cared for me. I stopped coming when I stopped feeling loved. U stopped caring and treated me like trash”

He:
“It would be a Herculean task to stop caring about you, if not impossible”

I was tired of the back and forth texting so I called him. It was midnight and already ‘Free calls time’.
We talked for quite some time. Mostly about how we ended up where we were. For him, it was our regular quarrels over silly stuffs that made him stay away. I still held my opinion that if he loved me he wouldn’t give up on the relationship but try to work things out.
I cant really recall all we talked about that night but I remember getting pissed at some things he said. Like when he said:

“Aphro, if we come back together, I’m going to have to be hard on you. I think I spoilt you and let you get away with some things. You are stubborn and I admit, I am too but we can’t keep struggling for supremacy in this relationship. It’s not possible”

I wanted to take him up on that statement but realized that things were still delicate at that point and I didn’t want to worsen the situation so I pretended I didn’t hear him.

We didn’t come to any conclusion that night cos his phone battery went dead and we couldn’t continue talking.

That was two days before the meeting at his mother’s.

Now, I don’t really know what the situation is…if we are back together or not.
We’ve been communicating but there is still a lot of underlying issues that we need to thrash.
A guy pal said to me yesterday:

“Aphro, you really love this guy so you just need to accept him the way he is and learn how to follow him so you guys won’t be having any more quarrels”

I agree I love him but does this mean I have to sentence myself to a life of unhappiness?

I deserve to be loved the way I want. I deserve it!

To comply or not...

2009-01-13T02:02:00.000-08:00

So his mum called us for a meeting last Sunday.

Just me, him and her.

And she pointed out where we had both gone wrong

So we both said “I’m sorry” to each other

And promised to put the past behind us.

Obviously she loves me and wants me for a daughter-in-law

But her son’s got to love me too, innit?

She played all those childish games:

“Oya Aphro, go and sit on his laps…” “O, you go and hug her…”

And even though I found it all funny

The bitter taste of rejection and hurt lingers on in my mouth.

It’s not as easy as she made it seem

We still got a lot of issues to resolve

Like our silly quarrels over nothing

He also gave a condition…

“We can't both be captains in this relationship, Aphro. You’ve got to be the woman and let me be the man”

His mum concurred “My dear, you have to be submissive. I was too to my husband and he loved me until his death”

I agree, a woman should be submissive but do I have to lose my sense of self.

Do I have to agree to all he says even when I don’t feel like?

Can’t I even voice my own views without him thinking am trying to dominate him?

I have always had a strong personality…never been the meek type.

Why do I have to be someone else now?

I always thought, love should accept you the way you are and not try to change you.

It’s up to you, he said.

Comply or Forget me.

HAPPY NEW YEAR MY DARLINGS!

Dogs, Text messages & Mixed Vibes

2008-12-11T04:45:00.000-08:00

Living with Dogs have taught me one thing.
They are very greedy and selfish.
A dog may not want something but would rather hold on to it that let another person/dog have it.
If it’s a bone, that one na another matter,lol…

I just realized that O is acting like the typical Dog.

Bobo no want me again, I mean he showed me all the signs- Not calling, Not replying messages, Not picking his calls, always too busy to find time for me and all.

He even confirmed it(See last post)
He was staying away cos we’ve been having too many issues of late(his own words).

So what was I expected to do.
Stay put and let another man rub shit in my face?

No way!

I decided to move on.

I spoke to an older friend(yea, the same older friend I normally talk to) who is very experienced in love matters.

His advice was that I should send him a text of Finality.
A text that would show him that I was moving on.

According to him(my friend) his response will determine the next course of action.

I argued. “I don’t want to send any text… He wouldn’t even reply the text”

In response, my friend said:
“Aphro dear, if he doesn’t bother to reply the text then please, I beg you….PLEASE forget the guy, he doesn’t deserve you. Cut every tie between the both of you and move on. The man who will appreciate you will come.”

I finally agreed to send the text.

“We don’t have to be strangers just because we are no more in a relationship. My prayer for you is that you find someone to love and who will love you the way you always wanted. Bye.”

Surprisingly, he replied immediately.

“We need to talk. Will find time during the week to come by. Is that okay?”

I replied: “It’s okay”

During the week, he called me one evening on my way home from work to say he was about to leave the office to my place. I wasn’t home yet and it would still be an hour or so before I got home so I told him not to bother coming cos I was still far from home.

He said Fine. Tomorrow then?

Okay. I replied.

He went on.
“So why haven’t you called all this while?”

I was surprised at the question.
“Call? Have you forgotten that you normally ignore my calls?”
“Aphro, I would never ignore your calls baby…”
“Ha ha ha, that’s really funny, I cant believe you are saying that. Anyway, lets not argue. We’ll talk when we see”

The next day, I was missing him so I sent a text.
“How are you? Miss me?”

His reply came in immediately.
“Am doing okay dear. Do you miss me?”

I replied.
“I asked you a question and you replied with the same question”

His reply:
“I have been thinking about you everyday Aphro. I began to call other peeps your name. You mean so much to me. I didn’t mean to stay away, just dat I don’t wanna cos you more pain”

My reply:
“I really cant understand how staying away is supposed to make things better. A relationship can only succeed if the two people involved work at it equally. Sometimes I feel that you are not ready for serious commitment. That can only be the explanation for your actions.”

His reply:
“It’s not that dear. I am ready to settle down but at times you seem like someone else to me and we both become stubborn and misunderstand each other. I stay away cos I am confused”

Me:
“You say we both become stubborn, right? You know how we women get at times, you are the man, you should know how to calm me down and let me understand you”

Him:
“Yes, That is what u have decided and the feelings I have for you are noble enough for me to do the right thing and calm you down when the troubles begin to rage between us”

Me:
“You decided that? Who gave you that advice? Anyway we'll see later. am leaving for home now.”

That was the text banter we had.

I was supposed to see him last week but he didn’t show up.

I put it down to his been very busy at work and reasoned, the weekend was coming and there was the sallah hols on Monday & Tuesday so no matter how bad it was, he would be able to make out time during those four days to see me for the talk we were supposed to have.

Saturday came and went.
No word from him.
Sunday too.

Monday evening, I sent a text.
“I thought we were meant to see but unfortunately, you are too busy even on public hols. Hope you enjoyed urself today”

He replied:
“Sugar, I didn’t enjoy myself o! I was at the office all day. My pathetic story with my bank continues. Will try to come by tomorrow if I can”

Yeah right! I thought. I wasn’t buying that spending all day in the bank shit!

On Tuesday, I was determined not to stay at home waiting for his call so I went out with a girl pal of mine. We had fun and I was able to forget about him for a while until I got home.
Around 8pm, I couldn’t resist the temptation to call to find out if he was still coming.
The phone rang for a while and then cut off. He didn’t answer.

I slept off that night with my phone beside my pillow thinking he would call.

The next morning, I saw his text message.
“Hi angel, sorry I missed your call. Was meant to come over but didn’t finish at the office till about 10pm. I could have still come down to your place but I knew it would be too late for you to come out of your house”

I didn’t bother to reply it.
Jerk! What stopped him from calling back when he saw my missed call?!

I had started to gradually condition my mind to forgetting him finally.
I was really suceeding at it o cos I realized that I wasn’t thinking of him as much as I used to.
I admit, his not calling all these while kinda made things easier.

Only to get this text last nite:
“Listening to some of the love songs you used to sing to me and remembering how we fell in love, thinking of your beautiful face and our first tender moments. I miss you.”

Now it’s obvious, this guy is playing some serious game with me.
He doesn’t have the right to toy with my emotions this way.
He no want…He want…
Which one I go take?

He had better be clear as to what he wants cos I don’t want to be the bone in this dog's paw no longer...

I see that fine mongrel eyeing me,lol....

Katch ya guys!

I called...

2008-11-29T02:13:00.000-08:00

Okay so I just called him now.

Yea, I know I said I wasn’t going to call again.

But guys, plzzzzzz don’t be too quick to crucify me.

I had to do it.

I don’t even know why.

I just know I had to call.

Maybe I was seeking some sort of explanation or closure…

Not sure which one it was

I know for sure, I wanted answers

I wanted to know where things stood.

I mean, relationships don’t just end like this…

One minute, you guys are good together,

The next everything is in disarray and it's like someone pulled the mat from under your feet and you are hanging in the air.

He left me hanging…

And I didn’t want that.

I needed closure. I needed to know that we were done.

I needed to hear it from his lips.

“Aphrodite, this relationship is over”

So I called.
He picked up at second ring.

"Hello"
“Hi”
I tried to sound as nonchalant as possible. There is no way I was going to let show in my voice, how broken I was.

Well, after some small talk,
I went straight to the reason why I called.

“So you chose to dump me and are not man enough to tell me?”

His reply:
“Is that what you want?”

I understood the game he was playing. Sly guy.

“It’s not about what I want, after all your actions these past weeks have shown me that you are no more interested in the relationship. How else do you explaining not picking my calls, replying my text messages. You won’t call even when you see my missed calls. How do you want me to interprete that?

To cut the story short.

His explanation was that we had been having a lot of quarrels recently and he just felt that he wasn’t adding any value to the relationship and he decided to just stay away since he was always making me unhappy.

What an excuse!

What was this guy going on about??
Didn’t all relationships have one problem or the other? Are couples not supposed to work out their issues?
In his own case, he doesn’t want to try to work things out rather he feels the best thing to do is to cut me off??

Gratefully, the line cut off. I didn’t call back. There was no point.

Did I get the answer I sought?

I don’t know.

* Saw his missed calls later on my phone. He probably called when I wasn't with the phone and No, i didnt call back.

On the side.
I just want to mention this to clear those who feel that O’s mum may have something to do with his behaviour.

Some days back. I just felt this urge to call her. O’s Mum , I mean.
The phone rang for a while but she didn’t pick.
I didn’t call back.

Later, I was sleeping when my phone woke me up. I glanced at the clock. It was a minute to midnight.
I picked up the phone and it was his mum calling. I pressed the green button but the line went off before I could answer so I called her back.
Our convo went something like this

Her: Hello…
Me: Hello ma
Her: Hello my dear. How are you? I saw your missed call on my phone.
Me: Yes mummy. I called you earlier but you didn’t pick up.
Her: Yes I left my phone at home then. Where have you been? I haven’t seen you in a long while.
Me: I have been around.
Her: You know today is my birthday (It was past 12 midnight by now)
Me: Oh yea? I didn’t know o! Let me be the first to wish you a happy birthday. Happy birthday to you ma and I wish you God’s blessings.
Her: Thank you my dear. May God grant you all your heart desires.
Me: Amen.
Her: O is upstairs o! You want to talk to him? Should I call him?
Me: Noooooo! No ma. There is no need for that. Enjoy your birthday. Good night ma.
Her: Okay my dear. Good night.

I won't be a 'Clinger'

2008-11-20T07:00:00.000-08:00

Thanks guys for all the love and concern you showed me when I was at my lowest. You guys are more like family than online friends. Everyday I thank God I started this blog, how would I have met all you wonderful peeps?

I am doing great, better than I ever thought I would. I still miss him-O, plenty but what can a girl do? A popular proverb in Igbo says “Person wey dem reject no dey reject imself”. I am trying to take my mind off him by burying my head in work (These days the piling desk is very welcome). And this weekend I'm going to register in the gym.

It’s all about me as from now on!

I have never been a ‘Clinger’ my whole life. By ‘Clinger’, I mean the person who tries to cling on to a loved one even when all the signs are there that he/she is not wanted. I have always believed that ‘Clinging’ is only postponing the ‘hangday’. If a partner is no longer interested in a relationship, he/she may take pity on you cos of your desperado moves(begging and clinging) but I assure you, it is only a matter of time before the insults start coming and you finally get dumped flat on your ass or probably you finally ‘wisened’ up and packed your ‘kaya’ out of the toxic relationship.

Even in my early days of relationships, I have never subscribed to the idea of ‘Clinging’. In fact, many of my friends know that I have always maintained the principle of ‘Leave before he breaks your heart’. Once you see the signs-He doesn’t call as he used to, he is always busy… he doesn’t answer when you call, he doesn't return your call or reply your messages….Girl plzzzzzzzzzz remove your slippers and start running. That guy is no more interested. He has probably found someone else and doesn’t know how to tell you. Let him go.

I almost became a ‘Clinger’.
I almost became the woman I never wanted to be.
I called, I texted, I called some more and texted some more too
Almost lost a sense of who I was because of a man…

Then it was like cold water poured on a sleeping man.
It hit me like a jolt.
I was becoming the ‘Clinger’
I had to stop and think…
I came here, blogged…
And you guys came through for me
You all gave me the wake up call I needed.
the strength I needed to let go.

I haven’t called for 8 days now.
I haven’t sent a text for 5 days now.
I have no intention of doing any of the above
I have decided to move on...
He doesn’t deserve an ounce of me
I will find my man, my love…
I believe it now
After that dream I had some nights ago…
I know it will happen
I believe it.

Depressed...

2008-11-14T05:56:00.000-08:00

(Heavy sigh)Hmmph…

What do you do when the man you love so deeply doesn’t give a hoot about your feelings?

I know…

Forget him.

But why is it so hard to do?

What do you do when your every waking thought is just about this guy and he obviously isn’t sparing you any thought?

I know…

Let go and let him be.

But it just seems impossible.

What do you do when he doesn’t call, doesn’t pick up when you do, doesn’t call back and doesn’t even reply ur text messages?

I know…

Have some pride and don’t call too, he obviously doesn’t want to hear your voice which is why he hasn’t called.

But it’s taking all my will power restraining myself from calling him.

He says he cares…

But is this how to show it?

By giving me the cold shoulder?

Oh love! LOVE!!

I searched for you…

Found you…

But you don’t want to stay with me…

Don’t I deserve you?

Don’t I deserve to be happy and bask in the love of someone I desire?

If you leave me, Love…

I just might let you be and search no more.

PS: Sorry for the long silence. Just been too depressed to write anything that won’t be gloomy and I didn’t want to spread the sadness too.
I hope I can come back here soon to give you guys the real gist as usual.
Love you all.

A Post in Two parts.

2008-10-03T02:13:00.000-07:00

*Very Very long post alert* Read at ur own discretion,lol...

Sorry guys for not putting up this post earlier. Just been caught up with so many other stuffs. I haven’t been very happy too. Yea, O is the cause, who else? Fineboy agbero, oya gloat all you want, lol…

Am sure most of you already know that we were blessed with a long holiday these past days. FIVE WHOLE DAYS to rest and play! It was meant to be a wonderful one. I made so many plans. Plans on how I and O would spend the holiday together, enjoying each others company. Something which we haven’t been able to do in a while cos of his crazy work schedule. He is always working, even most weekends so you see why I was very excited about the holidays especially as it coincided with their bank’s financial year end and he had promised me that we would have enough time to spend with each other.

Things didn’t go as planned. We had one of our worst lovers tiffs during the period and well, yea the hols turned out to be a sad, boring and depressing one for me. I don’t know how it was for him. I dont know If he was as miserable as I was, but then he stayed away so I guess he was comfortable with the situation.

Why am I rambling?

I am supposed to gist you guys how the meeting with Sister Prayer warrior on Friday went. Okay I better start with that gist first, will still get to I and O’s issues later.

This post will be in two parts.

PART 1- MEETING WITH S.P
Friday morning, I didn’t go to work. I dressed up as decently as I could(Not that I don’t dress decently before o, just that I needed to polish up my good girl image,lol…). In my long gown, jacket and scarf, I drove down to Sister Prayer’s place. Incidentally, She lived in my vicinity so it was more like a 5mins drive.
My friend had told me she starts to see people from 9a.m so I wanted to get there on time cos I assumed there were going to lots of people there(you all know how our Naija peeps love prophecy and miracles) and I didn’t want to be the last on the line.

I got to Sister Prayer’s house at about five mins to Nine. It was a nice looking compound with a big white house. It wasn’t the usual prayer house setting. She held her prayers and consultations with people in her living room. It was more like a group of close family friends having a tea party thing, u get? I discovered that it wasn’t a crowd affair. All through the time I was there up till when she finally saw me, there were only about 8 of us. Three I had met there when I came and four others who came later. I shouldn’t have worried about coming late and being last in line cos there was no line. I learnt from one of the ladies I met there that sister prayer didn’t start her office till 10a.m so I had to wait one extra hour after I got there. I soon drifted off to sleep while waiting. Don’t blame me, the cushion was plush,lol…

From the look of her home, It was obvious Sister Prayer and her family were not hungry people. I remembered my friend telling me that she didn’t accept money or gifts from people. She always said that Jesus was providing for her family and she didn’t need anyone’s money. That helped to reduce my skepticism cos I was always wary of those prayer warriors that ask you to bring money for all sorts of things ranging from oil to candles and all what not. Some even tell you to pay for people who will fast for you if you cant do it urself, imagine!

Back to my gist…

At about 10a.m, Sister prayer(let’s call her S.P from now) came into the living room. She wasn’t as old as I had expected. She looked to be in her early forties. She greeted everyone and asked that we knelt down for prayers. Sorry, I didn t menton this earlier. S.P is catholic which was one reason I agreed to go see her. I am also catholic and I can tell you that in the catholic church, stuffs like prophets, visioners, prayer warriors are not that common. The church frowns at them not cos it is wrong or anything but because they believe that a lot of times, it is difficult to discern btw those who are working with the power of God and the fake ones who are working with the devil so before the church recognizes a person to be a prophet/prayer warrior they must have done a lot of investigations spiritually and otherwise to be sure he/she is working under the dictates of the holy spirit. I decided to go see S.P cos my friend also told me that the priests in my parish recognized her and were aware that she held prayers and counseling sessions in her home.

After the prayers, she started to call people one after the other to a corner of the living room(the dining area) where she had set up a mini-office.
Soon enough, it got to my turn. After introducing myself, I explained the reason I was there. I was having a lot of suitors and I needed to know the will of God concerning my marriage. She smiled and spoke very softly(She had the softest voice). She talked about how first of all, I needed to amend my life and get closer to God in prayers. She asked about the last time I received communion which I must confess had been a long time (Una no say aphro na big sinner now. Number 1 sin-FORNICATION,it’s a sin whether we like to admit it or not).
We talked for a while. During the discussion, she made me see reason why I needed to go to confession and renew my relationship with God all over. She also gave me some prayers to say for a month after which I should come back to see her and by then she would have a message from God for me.
It wasn’t what I had expected. I mean, I had expected her to lay hands on me or something and start seeing visions or something but it wasn’t like that. It was more like a conversation with a friend. She made me feel very comfortable and after the session, my heart was made up that she was for real. I must add tho that while she was talking, I was wondering what to do with O cos if I go to confession, I couldn’t continue in the same sin. I couldn’t continue making love with him although am not sure if kissing and touchery is also out of the question.
Guys, I need your opinion on this. Am thinking, if he is really sincere, it shouldn’t be a problem, right?

I haven’t started the prayers yet. I plan to go for confession this weekend then start the prayers afterwards.

Okay, so that was how my meeting with S.P went.

PART 2- HOLIDAY QUARREL
O had told me some time past that his mum was eager to meet me and he wanted me to meet her on Sunday(last Sunday). I agreed.

So Sunday morning, after church, He called to say he was coming to get me in the afternoon. I was apprehensive. What if she didn’t like me? What if I didn’t like her? He waved off my fears saying she loved me already and It was just a formality.

So I got dressed up, looking like a cute, good girl in my white shirt and red top,lol…

To cut long story short. The meeting with his mum went well. we hit it off rightaway. She regaled me with gists about O from when he was a kid. It was obvious she thought the world of her son. I laughed hard when she said “My son is a hot cake o!” I responded “Mama, I am a hot cake too o…ask my mama” All in all, it was a fun meeting. She brought out a bottle of wine and asked O to say a prayer over it. It was funny cos I didn’t know he could pray like dat. After the prayer, we shared the drink while listening to his mum's non-stop gists.

O stylishly whispered in my ears that we had to leave cos his mum would go on and on if we let her. Hugs and bye-byes done, we left for the mall to see a movie.

We didn’t do the movie again cos it was too late when we got there and I didn’t want to stay out too late. So we decided to do some window shopping in some of the stores there. While walking around the stores, I noticed O wasn’t looking bright and he wasn’t responding to me like before. I kept asking what was wrong with him and he kept saying “nothing, I’m okay”. It was soon obvious that he wasn’t okay and I kept badgering him to tell me what was wrong. After much pressure he told me he wasn’t feeling too well, he was feeling dizzy. I insisted we sit down somewhere so he could rest. After some time, I asked if he was feeling better and he said yes. It was getting late so we had to leave. I offered to drive us home even tho I don’t drive a manual car but he refused saying he could manage. As we walked to the car park, I noticed he kept wincing so I asked again how he was feeling. He didn’t reply. I kept asking but he wasn’t talking.

On the drive back home, I asked again. He still didn’t talk, just kept wincing like he was in pain. Then I asked If there was anything I could do to make him feel better. He said No, and that just being there was enough. Seeing as he didn’t want to talk anymore I decided to keep quiet but in my heart I was feeling sad and miserable cos I didn’t like to see him like dat.

At a point, during the drive he spoke:
“Aphro, why are you sulking? Be yourself, sing, dance for me like you used to”
But I wasn’t in the mood for singing and dancing so I replied “I don’t feel like…”
We didn’t talk to each other after that although I kept sneaking glances at him. He had stopped wincing and was beginning to look okay. I soon drifted off to sleep only to wake up when he drove into my close. I turned to look at him and he asked “So have you finished sulking?” I was like “I wasn’t sulking, just felt that you didn’t want to talk so I kept quiet”
Next he started talking about how uncaring I was and how I was supposed to know what to do to make him feel okay. I was like "What did you expect me to do? You weren’t even talking to me. When I asked how you were feeling, you wouldn’t respond. I just assumed you wanted to be left alone"

I don’t even know how it happened but next thing, he was screaming at me“Stop it aphro, just stop it! I am fed up of this attitude of yours. It doesn’t always have to be about you everytime"….I was shocked at his outburst. This wasn’t the first time he was making that statement about it being all about me always.
“All about me? You keep saying this everytime when it is really you who makes it all about you everytime…” I tried to stop the tears but they were already flowing. When he saw I was crying, he reached for my hands and stroked them while I cried on in silence. I finally pulled myself together and said quietly “I should be going”. He nodded and I got down from the car. No goodbyes, no kisses, nothing.
Maybe I shouldn’t have left that way but I felt hurt at what he had said. There I was trying to reach out to him, if possible bear some of his pain and he wasn’t responding to me. Maybe I shouldn’t have given up easily, maybe I should have tried another approach to make him feel better but one thing I know is I never make it all about me like he said.

Later when I had calmed down, I sent him a text.
“Hope you got home safe. Sorry for this evening. I really wished I could do some thing to lessen ur pain but sadly I couldn’t be for you what you wanted. I want ur happiness always but I may not be the girl for you. Loved meeting ur mum anyway, she is cool. Good night”

His reply didn’t come until after I had slept. I saw his missed calls and text the next morning.
“Nice touch about you not being the girl for me. It’s very amusing especially after just meeting my mum. Trying to tell me something?”

Later that Monday he called on the phone. Our conversation went something like this:
O: How are you? Haven’t you been seeing my missed calls?
Me: I have…
O: So? You couldn’t call back or what?
Me: I didn’t have credit(Lie)
O: Okay. So what did you mean by you not been the girl for me?
Me: Just what I meant. That maybe we are not meant for each other. I have never been a quarrelling person but with you, its almost as if we are always quarrelling over the littlest things
O: Oh yea? You know what Aphro? If that’s the way you see it, then do what you want.
The line went dead. He dropped the phone.
I couldn’t believe it. Did he just drop the phone on me? I wanted him to apologise for making me cry yesterday and here he was dropping the phone on me. I made up my mind, I wasn’t going to call him. If that’s the way the relationship would end, then so be it.

Meeeen, this has got to be my longest post ever!

To wrap up this gist, he didn’t call back. I didn’t call him too so the rest of Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday was spent with me wallowing in depression, resisting the temptation to call him and wishing he would call. I had to drag myself out on Wednesday to go see a movie although it wasn’t fun without him. I even sent him a text to wish him a happy independence day which he didn’t reply.

Thursday morning, I finally called him. I was upset he hadn’t bothered to check on me or even reply my text. He couldn’t give any excuse and apologized for not replying or calling. Later he sent me a text:
“Happy Independence day my love. This text is dated 01/10/08”

Can you believe this guy?!!!

Maybe I should just forget about this whole love business and settle with B.G, K or Bobo Nice.

The stress is too much!

Ur opinion guys?

Breakfast with B.G and Prayer warriors.

2008-09-25T05:32:00.000-07:00

This morning, I hooked up with B.G for breakfast. It had been a while(like 5 months) since we last saw. Yes, he called and sent texts regularly but anytime he tried to initiate a hook up, I always came up with some excuse or the other. I wanted him to understand that we were over and I was with someone else now but it was obvious that was a fact he wasn’t ready to accept.

So why did I finally agree to do breakfast wit him today? I don’t even know myself. Just that I thought, what da heck? It was just breakfast right? But I was wrong. It wasn’t just breakfast for him. He wanted to talk. Talk about us. About why we broke up and how he wanted us to get back together.

He looked good. Better than the last time I saw him. I had to compliment him on his look.

Breakfast was okay and he had a lot to say. He really wants us to get back together. He can’t see himself with any other woman except me. He hasn’t been able to open up to any other woman since I left him. The last time he had sex was with me and so on.

He wanted to know what the issues I had with him were so he could make amends and try to right the things that went wrong. How do I begin to tell a guy that I left him because he wasn’t a sharp dresser or his tee-shirts always had holes in them and his apartment lacked taste? Yea, I know, it sounds shallow abi? The truth is I probably didn’t love him cos if I did those things wouldn’t matter or would they?

Well, after much prodding from him as to why I left him. I had to mention some of the things above like his dress sense, his lack of taste and all. I was surprised at his reaction. He actually agreed with me that those were enough reason for me to have left. He told me that he was already working on himself as I could see(I told you he was well dressed). Then he asked me: “Aphro, if I got a better apartment, improved my dressing and got a new car. Do we still have a chance?” I didn’t say a word but I thought about his question. Would I go back to him? i didn't think so. Why? Because I was in love with someone else, Simple!

I didn’t say that to him though but am sure he understood what my silence meant cos he looked forlorn and disappointed. Then he went on:
“A new car, beautiful apartment, new clothes, all that would not mean anything to me if you are not there to share them with. You are the only woman whose compliment on my appearance matters to me. I want you to be the first woman to sit in my new car, I want to share the new apartment with you and you are the only woman I want to make love with on my new bed”
Na wa o!
This guy serious no be small. If only O can be as serious and in love as this, then I no get problem,lol...

Anyway, we had to cut the breakfast short. I had to get back to the office, same with him too. However we had an understanding. I had no plan of ending my relationship to get back with him and my suggestion was that he should try to open up to other women cos life doesn’t start and end with Aphrodite. He didn’t agree with this though, cos for him, there is nothing to live for without me.

It’s times like this that it hits me hard in the face. LIFE IS NOT FAIR!

On to something else.

A friend visited me last Sunday. She just recently got married. So we were talking about stuff and as usual with young women, the topic drifted to marriage issues. We both agreed that it was important to pray very hard before one takes the plunge into marriage but then she took it a bit further. According to her, it is very good to consult with prayer warriors who will seek the face of God regarding the marriage and tell you whether to go ahead or not. She told me her own experience.
She was supposed to get married about 3 years ago but before going ahead with the marriage plans, her mum went to this woman, a prayer warrior who prayed about it and told them not to go ahead cos he wasn’t her husband. She really liked the guy but decided to heed the woman’s advise. Today the guy is dead and she is very happy she didn’t marry him cos she would have been a widow by now.

I asked if she went to the prayer woman before accepting her current husband’s marriage proposal and she said Yes and that the woman had said she should go ahead, that God was in support.

Then she suggested that I see the woman because of all the guys coming for my hand (B.G, K, Bobo Nice and O) cos the person I want may not be the right one for me.

I don’t know if I should go cos am thinking, what if the woman says its Bobo Nice or K that is my husband and that O is not the man for me? Will I leave O and marry Bobo Nice just cos someone said that was what God said?

I no sure o.

So my friend has arranged for me to meet with this woman tomorrow. She only sees people on Tuesdays and Fridays. I have even got my boss’s permission to miss work tomorrow but am still undecided.
Should I go?
What do u guys think?

I dont see myself kissing him...na reason?

2008-09-18T04:36:00.000-07:00

Hmmm…so I have been gone for a while. I am so sorry people. Had to make an emergency work-related trip but am back in Lasgidi now.
Princesa dearest, sorry I couldn’t make it to the SBR as promised. I hope I get to pick up my T-shirt really soon. Saw the pics, they were nice.
Nikki and Oluwadee, the vows have been exchanged now right? Wish you both a happy and blissful married life with the men you love. Very very soon we go join una, all the single babes/guys out there shout a big amen…AMEN!!!!

Ehen...So besides work, what has been happening to Aphrodite? That’s the question right?

Aphrodite has been good. Things with O have been pretty cool. Fineboyagbero sorry to disappoint you bro but it doesn’t look like I will come crying to you about O anytime soon if he keeps things up the way they are right now. He made me a promise to be more dedicated to our relationship. So far he has been trying sha. Giving me attention and all and you all know how much I crave attention,lol…

X is totally out of my life now. I hope.
Doll, bumight, Flo, am sure you are happy to hear this cos you guys have really been on my case to Fashi him totally.
How did I finally get rid of him? Well, I didn’t really do anything o…he kinda got rid of himself by himself,lol…
So the last time I saw him was the day after my birthday.
On my birthday he had sent me a text to wish me happy birthday. He couldn’t even call. He sent me a text! I got tons of text that day even old pals from school that I hadn’t heard from in years sent me a text! So what was the big deal? I didn’t expect just a text from him. I expected that he would have called at least even if he couldn’t send a card, gift or a cake after all he’s been claiming to love me abi?

Truth be told, he had visited me a few days before my birthday and brought up the Ghana trip issue. Remember I told you guys he had suggested taking me to Ghana for my birthday but I declined the offer. Going to Ghana with him would automatically mean that I had accepted him back cos we would have to share a room or something and you know now, something fit happen wey person no plan,lol…

Anyway so that day he came around before my birthday, he brought up the Ghana trip issue again and I declined again. Then he said fine, so how are we going to spend my birthday as in where do I want him to take me to here in Lagos. I was like I didn’t want to go anywhere. I just wanted a quiet birthday. No celebrations, nothing. He kept pressuring and I kept insisting I didn’t want to go anywhere. Finally he gave up.

But even though I had said I wanted a quiet birthday devoid of fanfare and all, does it stop him from sending a gift or cake now my people? That I didn’t want to celebrate didn’t mean I wasn’t going to accept gifts now. Anyway that was how he(X) didn’t even call on my birthday much less send a gift or try to see me. He merely sent a text.

So I still had a grouse with him when he walked into my office a day after my birthday smiling one kain big smile like dat. There was a half-cut cake on my table. Bobo Nice had sent it on my birthday and I had shared part of the cake amongst my colleagues in the office. X opened the cake box and exclaimed: “Hey! Cake…Nice!! So do we get a slice?”
I looked at him. The bobo no dey shame sef, he want chop cake when he no even fit call me wish me happy birthday. No be only cake he go chop, na KAKE! Looking him straight in the eye, I said: “So you want to eat the cake someone else sent? Which one did you bring along while coming abi you didn’t know my birthday was yesterday? Or you didn’t know that they use cake to celebrate birthdays?”
Harsh, I know. But I meant it to be.
The guy just stared at me speechless. He wasn’t expecting that from me.
After some moments, he replied: “But you don’t even know if I brought something for you and it is in the car” I was like “Okay so if it is in the car, go and bring it now…” He didn’t move an inch. I knew he hadn’t brought anything and was just trying to bluff.
Anyway, what I said to him touched him cos even when I offered him the cake, he refused to eat. Wetin be my own? Beg him to eat the cake? I no send anybody o!

He later explained that he felt hurt when I refused his proposal to take me out on my birthday and he assumed that I had plans to spend my birthday with someone else which was why he didn’t bother calling or coming around. He was right sha cos I did spend my birthday with O but then I still don't think that was enough reason for him not to at least call.

He stayed a while in my office and then left and since then I haven’t heard a word from him. He hasn’t called or dropped by. Me thinks he has finally advised himself. Good for him, if that’s the case. Yesterday as I was leaving for home in the evening, I saw him outside his office. I don’t know if he saw me and pretended not to but me I just did like I didn’t see him sha and went on my way.

So that is all on X for now.

On to Bobo Nice.
I told you guys he just got his own apartment abi? So last week he called me and begged that I help him get some stuff, you know house hold stuff and all that. He hasn’t got a girlfriend and couldn’t do it by him self. Being the good friend that I am now, I agreed to help him purchase the stuff so he sent the money across.
Last Saturday morning, I packed all the stuff I had bought down to his place. I was helping him set up his kitchen when his elder brother came in. We had met at the wedding of another brother of his some time back so he recognized me. We exchanged pleasantries and he went into the sitting room.
Later on while I was showing Bobo Nice how to operate some of the kitchen stuff, his brother joined us and was like I shouldn’t bother teaching Bobo Nice how to use the appliances, I should just pack my load and come and take my place in the house. We all laughed about it especially Bobo Nice. I wanted to say something like “No o…its not my place o cos Bobo Nice is not my boyfriend or husband” but I just decided to let things lie. From his comment tho, I could see that he (Bobo Nice’s brother) assumed that we were dating and to even worsen things, Bobo Nice kept calling me Baby in front of him. I didn’t know what he had told his bros about me but I made a mental note to discuss it with him later cos he was obviously giving the wrong impression. On impressions, it also occurred to me that anyone who walked in on us as I was busy arranging and setting up stuff in the house would automatically assume I was Bobo Nice’s girlfriend so maybe I was at fault too. Maybe I shouldnt have accepted to help him but it was too late to regret anyway.

I didn’t get to talk about it with him cos I had to leave in a hurry and he was with his brother. Later on that day, he sent me a text thanking me for the help and everything. In the text message he had also sent a recharge card pin number and asked that I credit my phone with it. It was more like a thank you gift. Also in the text message, he talked about how he would be the happiest man if only I would accept him as a life partner. I sent him a reply thanking him for the credit and I also said that as for marriage, I couldn’t consider it cos my heart is with someone else. His reply came shortly. He was finally accepting defeat but advised that I look well before leaping so I do not make a mistake.
I thanked him for the advise. Bobo Nice is a great guy. I do not doubt for a second that he would make a great husband but it’s just unfortunate that I don’t have feelings for him. Sometimes when we are together, I look at his lips and cannot imagine me kissing them. Don’t get me wrong, he doesn’t have ‘pomo’ lips or anything but I just don’t find them sexy. I love Kissing and I need to find the lips of the man am going to marry attractive, don’t you think so? LOL......

I have this aunt that thinks that am making a mistake by not accepting Bobo Nice as a husband. When she asked me what my reason for not wanting to marry him was and I replied “I don’t find his lips attractive”. She thought I was crazy,lol…according to her, there are important things to consider in marriage and the lips or dentition of guy doesn’t count as one. Her opinion sha. I still think, I need to be physically attracted to my man abeg. Like O for instance now, you won’t beg me to kiss him. I LOVE KISSING HIM!

Okay, so that’s it for Bobo Nice gist.

I have got work to get back to people. I know I have been slacking in visiting blogs, make una no vex, will try to remedy that.
See you around...Love you all plenty plenty!

Me...Madam Mushy

2008-09-03T05:56:00.000-07:00

Okay so I didn’t plan to spend the night in the arms of O. It just happened.

We had not been talking.
It had taken all the will power I had in me to stop myself from calling him all this while.
He had been sending all those texts that made me wonder if he really missed me as he claimed…I mean...what stopped him from calling?

Anyway Monday afternoon(the day before my birthday), I couldn’t hold out any longer. I missed him terribly and wanted us to see and talk so I sent this message.

“Hey what’s up? Can we see this evening?’

He replied shortly.
“Yes we can. I’ll be right over as soon as am through in the office”
So I got home from work and waited.
Soon enough, he arrived all smiles as if we never had any issues.
I kept a straight face sha, we had issues and they needed sorting out!

So we went to this hangout. Nice place. Poolside and music. Really romantic.
We talked.
About a lot of stuff. Random stuff. How have you been and all….
He asked about my birthday and how I intended to spend it. I didn’t have any plans to celebrate, I told him.
Then he told me he had missed me so much and the past days had been pure hell. Each time he picked up his phone to call, he had to drop it right back cos he didn’t know what to say to me. He knew exactly what I wanted to hear-“Baby let’s get married immediately!” but he really needed time, a few months to sort some things out.

I was like…. I wasn’t asking for marriage immediately o! I just needed to define where we were headed. What you wanted from me and all…

He said, okay so we are on the same page then. Why did we have to put ourselves through all that emotional turmoil? I really want to marry you aphro…all am asking for is some time.

I was silent.

Soon we drifted off to some other random stuffs. It felt so good to be in his company again, laughing at silly jokes like old times.

Time to leave came sooner than I wanted but we had to go, it was getting late. There were no plans to spend the night together as at then yet.

He was dropping me off in front of my house. We said our good nights and I made to get down when he pulled me back and claimed my mouth with his.

It was a mind blowing kiss!

“Baby, can we spend this night together? I just want to wake up next to you on your birthday” he pleaded.
“No way hosey! We still got unresolved issues. Sex will just complicate things right now”
“Who is talking about Sex? I just want to be with you baby. Hold you in my arms all night. I have really missed you so much”
I laughed.
“He he he he he…you hold me in your arms all night? Why does that sound so unbelievable?”
“Let me prove it to you. nothing is going to happen dear”
“No way…NO WAY! Just go home okay? It’s getting late already”
I got down from the car.
He got down too and came over to my side.
“Pleaseeeeeeeeeee babyyyyyyyyy”
“Nooooooooooooooooo…”
I looked at his face. I guess that was my undoing. He had this sad, lost puppy look on his face that melted my heart. What da heck! I also wanted to be with him so damn the torpedoes!
“Okay, okay, lemme get my stuff”

I didn’t regret spending the night with him.
He popped a bottle of wine at midnight and toasted to me. It was lovely.
Some other things went down too,lol…
Yes, he didn’t keep his promise....
Okay I admit, he did try but na me no let am,lol…
Anh…anh don’t blame me jooo…
Since that last time, nothing…nothing and we’ve only done it that once o! We dey try abi?lol….

And he also apologized formally.
I was standing in front of the mirror brushing my hair when he hugged me from behind.
“I know I have been an ass lately love. I am so sorry. Forgive me baby…”

I smiled. I had already forgiven him. If I hadn’t I wouldn’t be in that hotel room with him.

Okay so I subscribe to this daily horoscope reading thing. This morning in my mail, I saw this.

My Romantic horoscope reading for today:

“How unrealistic are your goals when it comes to love? Do you think your lover will be a drop-dead gorgeous genius with the patience of a monk and the passion of a tango instructor, or are you cool with just dating a mere human? Time to reassess reality.”

I was staring the hard stark truth in the face…sometimes these readings are right on point o!

You know what?
I'm smiling like a cat that just drank a big bowl of milk right now.
Here's why...

O and his elder sister just left my office now. She sells stuff as in jewellry, clothes and perfumes and he brought her so I could pick what I wanted from her stock.
It wasn't just the fact that he wanted me to pick something from her that tripped me. It was the fact that HE LEFT WORK! If you know how tight it is for this bobo to leave office eh? You go understand wetin I mean.
Anyway, his sister's stuffs were expensive o...
I didn't want to be greedy and just took a bottle of perfume (Jennifer Lopez-Live) and a watch although his sis was urging me to take more.
I was like "We don't want to finish our money o"lol...
Even at that, the stuff I took came to about 25K.
In my mind, I was like E no go better say them give me the money cash?
He He he He...No mind my Ijebu traits,lol...

Haa...i just received a text from O now on my phone.
I'll share it with you guys.
"Aphro.....I can call ur name all day and night and it wouldn't be able to convey the depth of my love for you. You are the music of my life. Shall we dance?"

The bobo dey impress me sha...

Abeg make una leave me o...

I be Madam Mushy today, lol...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

2008-09-02T03:28:00.000-07:00

It's my birthday today and am deliriously happy!
No, not just cos it's my birthday but you see...

I WOKE UP IN THE ARMS OF THE MAN I LOVE!!!

Did I wake ur curiousity?lol....

Gist coming up...

In the meantime, get ur gifts ready. If you impress me, I just might be back with the juicy gist before you know it,lol...

Ciao....

Mixed Signals...

2008-08-25T06:26:00.000-07:00

Hello People.
How was ur weekend. Hope it was blast. Mine was just there but hey, I can’t complain! Am alive and well this beautiful Monday and there is every reason to be grateful for that, abi?

Thanks for your kind and as usual, sincere comments on this blog. I appreciate you all.

Today what gist do I have for you? Plenty as usual…you know how it is now, lol…lots of you have already dubbed me ‘The girl with a drama-filled love life’. Anyway, I no argue at all. I know you guys are right. My love life reach to act Nollywood home movie sef,lol…

This morning on my way to work. I was just thinking about everything that has been happening of late and before I knew what was happening, the tears were welling up in my eyes. Why are things not working out the way I want them to? Since my adolescent years up until now, I have never lacked male attention. In fact I get more than my necessary due. Unfortunately, most times, the attraction is not mutual. I get guys that are fallin over themselves to get my attention but who I don’t feel an iota of attraction for. It is a really rare thing for me to find a man who I love. In all my years of relationships with the opposite sex, I have only being in love with a few but the thing about me is that when I actually fall in love with a person, I fall really hard but then again, I don’t believe in stupid love o…as in mumu blind love wey no dey see road. You go know say man no send you yet you go dey die put for there. God forbid bad thing abeg!
I have been very lucky that the few men I have loved have reciprocated equally or even more sef. Well that is until now…until O.

God knows I love this man(O) with all my heart. My mum called it infatuation(I’ll come to that in a minute) but it is really sad and painful that he doesn’t feel the same way. He may have feelings for me like he claims but the truth which I have come to realize is that the feelings he claims to have are not as strong or deep as the ones I have for him.

Abeg, lemme stop lamenting and take you guys through what has been happening in the past few days.

So it was last Thursday that O dropped in to see me at work. He said he was coming back later on but I didn’t see him after that day up until this moment. I tried to resist the urge to call him up to find out if all was well but then I couldn’t stop myself from sending him a text yesterday.

“Was thinking you would have called or tried to see me this weekend. Its times like this that makes me really wonder if you truly care. Happy Sunday anyway”

He sent a reply:
“Traveled out of town for a training. I am actually in transit now. Miss you much…”

Hmmm…na wa o…I didn’t buy that excuse cos even if he had to travel, he should had mentioned it that day he came around, or even called to tell me. Everywhere in Naija has GSM network now even my remote little village so he can't say he doesn't have network wherever he is. I mean, he replied my text so what stops him from calling?

My prayer this morning was “Dear God please help me forget this guy. He is causing me too much heartache abeg…”

Other gists…

Saturday morning, I woke up very depressed. It was almost like I didn’t want to wake up if it wasn’t to O’s phone call so I just laid in bed feeling sorry for myself(yea, even I feel ashamed of myself,lol…). Finally I decided to send a text to Bobo Nice. I had recently told him about my feelings for O so I was sure he wouldn’t hassle or stress me with pleas to consider him like either B.G or K would. So I texted him: “Am bored and depressed. Don’t wanna stay home all day feeling sorry for myself. Would love to hang out. Are you free?”
In a few minutes, his call came. He was very worried about me and wanted to know why I was depressed but I told him it wasn’t stuff we could talk about over the phone and that I’d tell him when we see. He informed me that he had just gotten a new apartment and was heading over there to set things up so I offered to come help him set up and after we were through, we could hang out somewhere and talk over drinks. He liked the idea so as soon as we ended the call, I got out of bed and went to get ready to head over to his new place.

Later on, dressed up and on my way out of the house, my mum asked me where I was going to and I told her. She knew Bobo nice cos he had come to the house a couple of times and even called her on her birthday. So she asked “Hmmm…so it’s Bobo Nice now?” I knew exactly what she meant and I replied “Noooo! Mummy, Bobo Nice is just a friend now…you know that. although he wants something more but I don’t love him like that. He is almost like a brother to me”.
She said “But he is a good boy and he is very God fearing” I rolled my eyes “Mummy! I don’t love him like that!!” She laughed and joked in Ibo “My child, whoever did this to you it will not work for him/her o!” lol…I burst out laughing and said “It will not work o!” My mum like many other mothers is concerned and wants her first daughter to get married and since it isn’t as if there is a drought of suitors, she doesn’t understand why it is taking me so long to make a decision. I don’t blame her at all, even me, I don’t even understand myself,lol…

Anyway, she went on “So who is the person you love? The Edo boy?” I nodded.
She said, “You have known Bobo Nice for four years now, yet you don’t love him and this one you just met six months ago, you love him. My dear, what you are feeling is infatuation”
I laughed. “Infatuation? I don’t think so mum”.

How could this thing I feel be infatuation? This feeling is much deeper than any fleeting thing. I really, really care for O, imperfections and all. I don’t even care that one of his front teeth is broken (he had a bad fall when he was kid). Trust me, I used care about such things,lol…

Anyway after a few arranging and rearranging in Bobo Nice’s place, we went to a nearby eatery for lunch and there he asked.
“ So Aphro, what is depressing you?” I didn’t wish to discuss it again cos I didn’t want to make him feel bad. You know, you love a girl and she is telling you how she is feeling heartbroken over another guy and all that. That should make anybody feel bad so I declined from discussing it. I just shrugged off his question with “Oh that! I was just in a funny mood then. Don’t worry, am over it now. Am not feeling depressed anymore”
He didn’t buy my explanation and kept insisting that I tell him what the problem was.
So I asked “What if it is about another guy? Would you still want to hear about it?” He said “Sure…of cos! I want to hear every little detail”.
So I told him every thing. I emptied my heart and poured out all my troubles and frustrations of the past days. At the end of it all. He said to me. “Aphro, I’ll tell you the truth. When a guy says to a girl that he wants to take things a day at a time, he isn’t sure he wants to commit yet and probably has other options he is considering. I am not saying this cos I want you but because it is the truth”

Bobo Nice’s response only served to re-enforce what I already knew. O isn’t ready for serious commitment and even though on his last visit he had said otherwise, I am still not convinced. Even his attitude these past days don’t depict a man in love.

Is it just me who thinks that he is sending mixed signals?

I just want to be over him, serious!

I know he’s got a lot of fans but you guys, just look at things objectively abeg…is he treating me right?

Unexpected morning visit

2008-08-21T03:31:00.002-07:00

Oh my God!
Guys guess who just left my office now.
O!
I was standing at the reception talking with a colleague when he walked in. My heart did a backflip, I swear. You know, it was just so unexpected like he is the last person I expected to see this morning.
I led the way to my office and thankfully, my colleague who I shared office with wasn’t around so we had all the privacy we needed.
Long and short of the tory is that. Bobo has been miserable for the past one week and doesn’t want me to give up on us easily. I told him, I had already given up and was trying to heal. He said he was going to pretend he didn’t hear that. “Trying to heal over what now?” he asked.

Anyway, he is ready to meet my folks and wants me to meet his mum but then again he still wants us to take things a bit slow. In his own words “Let’s us grow together Aphrodite”.
I asked him “O tell me the truth, do you think you are psychologically ready for marriage” and his reply was “Yes I am very ready”.
"I hope I am not pressuring you or anthing. I want my husband to be crazy about marrying me and not feel that that I pressured him into doing so"
"Babes, stop saying that now. I am crazy about you, serious!"

Me I don’t know what to do again o. I’m kinda confused. I am still very much in love with him. In fact lemme confess. He was sitting far from me o, but do you know when he left, I realized my panties were soaking wet. Kai dis my treacherous body!

He has left now. He had an official assignment outside the office and used the opportunity to drop by although he promised to come back as soon as he is through with the assignment.

The last thing he said to me before he left was “Aphrodite, I love you. I really do”.

Jesu!

STATUS REPORT

2008-08-20T03:00:00.000-07:00

Woah! It’s been a while o. How una dey? I deliberately avoided blogville these past few days cos a lot has been on my desk and y’all know how distracting this place can be. Once you click, you can’t stop,lol…

I have been well o. Never knew I had so much emotional strength in me. Been holding on, even tho I must admit it’s been very tough for me. I havn’t called O since our last encounter. He called once tho, I think on Saturday morning. He didn’t say anything new anyway. Talked about how he loved me but needs to put certain things in place first(things like getting his place o) before talking about marriage. I told him that I understood very well that he wasn’t psychologically ready for marriage. He said No, that it was more like physically ready not psychologically ready. Anyway after that brief conversation over the phone, he hasn’t called again till now and today is what? Wednesday! He sent a text yesterday evening tho :“To say I miss you is a huge understatement. This has been one of the most difficult periods for me, being away from you. I believe things will still work out for us”
Na wa for this guy o. His actions does not convey what he is saying. Na im sabi joo! I don’t intend to reply him anyway but if I say that my feelings for him are dead then I would be lying. I don’t know if I’ll be able to be all mean and cold if I see him face to face,lol…

So on to other tory…

I may just have chased X away for good o…

Okay, thing is that I have been a bit blue of late cos of O’s issues and all and somehow too, I have also been venting my frustrations on X. Not that I have said anything o but my actions have said it all.

X’s mum has been in his place for close to two months now. She came visiting from the East. X actually informed me the day she arrived that his mum was round and that he would love for me to visit and meet her cos she has been asking of me and all(yea, he’s told her about me. His popsie is late). I agreed that I was going to come see her but truth is I never had plans to. I just didn’t want to argue with him but two months down the line and she preparing to leave back to the east. The pressure from X to see her mounted.

Last week, X had told me that she was leaving on Sunday(last Sunday) and I promised to come by on Saturday. Friday evening he called to confirm if I was still coming the next day. I was in a foul mood(mourning my relationship with O) and wasn’t in the mood to see X so I lied that I was going to the market to shop for the house and I wouldn’t be able to make it. Maybe at a corner of my mind, was the hope that O would call and ask that we see that Saturday and talk things over so I wanted to leave the day free for him. Maybe, I said o!lol…

Anyway, I didn’t go to see X’s mum and she left. Monday evening, when he closed for the day, X dropped into my office. I must confess again, I was a bit cold towards him. He sat for a while and when he saw I wasn’t talking to him. He got up and said he was leaving. I just nodded my head, like I didn’t care. Since that Monday, he hasn’t called or dropped by again. Not sure I miss him tho but I definitely miss the attention ;)

Ehen, I told you guys, I talked to Bobo Nice abi?
That was like two weeks ago.

So I had called Bobo Nice like a week before that day, after I received that call from SL(Strange lady). I was really upset with him for giving her my number to call and plead with me to marry him. He was shocked when he learnt that she had called me cos according to him he didn’t give her my number or ask her to call. What happened was that, she had visited him and was going through his phone when she saw my name and asked him who I was. He had told her about me. How he loved me but I wasn’t reciprocating and all. She told him that she could call and talk to me for him but he said he didn’t want that cos he knew I wouldn’t like it. He didn’t know she copied my number all the same and called.
I believed him sha. Bobo nice wasn’t the type to lie about something like that but when he said he was going to call S.L and berate her for what she did. I told him not to and that he should just it go cos I felt she did what she did in good spirit and felt she was being a good friend. He finally agreed to forget about it after which I told him that we needed to sit down and talk about the issue. He said okay and we agreed to meet the following weekend.

That Saturday, we met up at a pizza place and in between munching pizza and coke. I told him about O and how I felt about him. He already knew about X and he knew also when we broke up but I told him that X was staging a comeback and that I was considering him since things may not work out with O cos of his tribe and my folks. He felt really bad cos I wasn’t even considering him but I told him that I loved him as a friend and I didn’t have any romantic feelings towards him. I encouraged him to give other girls a chance and see where it leads to. We talked for very long o! At the end of it all sha, when we hugged and said our goodbyes, I felt kinda relieved and even though I knew he had been hurt, I was sure he realized It was all for the best. We promised to keep in touch with each other and agreed that nothing stopped us from hanging out once in a while.

So that’s the latest with Bobo nice.

Then B.G…

Kai! I have never met a more unrelenting guy in my whole entire life, I swear.
Even though I broke up with him when I started seeing O. He has never stopped hoping that we would still come back together.
These days, he sends me text messages at least four times a day. One in the morning asking how my night was. One in the afternoon, asking how my day is going, another one late evening asking if I got home okay. Then one last one at night, wishing me a good night’s rest. Besides, he still calls at least once in the day just to hear my voice, he says,lol…Na wa for this thing called love o! Why can’t one love a person that loves him/her equally? Things would be lots easier that way or don’t you guys think so?

Then again recently, B.G seems to have gotten it into his head that somehow he was responsible for our break-up. I have tried to reassure him several times that he wasn’t the cause. I met somebody else, fell in love and that was it! Although when I think about it more deeply, it was probably something that I found lacking in B.G and which O had that attracted me to him in the first place.

For instance, I like my man to dress sharp and smell nice. B.G is kinda like a sloppy dresser. When I met him, he was much worse but I tried to get him to pay more attention to his looks. I must give it to him that he tried to change a bit but then he still didn’t get to the level I wanted. I so hate a man wearing torn, ‘It was white’ singlets and jeans with dirty hems that looked like they hadn’t been washed in ages. B.G was like that. O on the other hand sure knows how to pull it off. Even when he is dressed in a Tee and jeans, he still looks & smells edible,lol…same goes for X too. He is also a good dresser.

Then again, just before i broke up with B.G, I had reason to travel to his place(as in his villa) cos of his mum's burial. Meen, what i saw enhhh! I didn't like at all. The way they lived in their place. One compound with a lot of extended families. To me, that is the perfect recipe for plenty wahala cos one doesn't even have his/her own privacy. My mother's father's compound was like that and i know all the troubles and diabolical activities that went down before my grandpa had to ask his brother's and their families to find their squareroot,lol...

I talked to B.G about it and his response sealed my mind for me. He didn't see anything bad with it. In fact he even preferred the whole 'Communal living' style. Na so i pack my kaya, pick race,lol...

So on that note, maybe somehow he (B.G) was partly responsible for me breaking up with him. Now he is begging me to give him another chance, I am very reluctant cos you all know what they say about adults. “It is hard to learn how to use the left hand when you are grown up”. That's an Ibo adage which means that it is hard to change an adult cost they are already set in their ways so it’s either I accept B.G the way he is or forget about him totally cos trying to change him may not be possible.

I know I promised to yarn about doctor but pls guys, lets leave that for the next post. I am trying to make my posts short these days, lol…as if this one never long pass river Nile sef.

Am out abeg, we go dey see for yonder…

The talk.

2008-08-15T03:19:00.000-07:00

I didn’t wait too long before O calls to say he was outside my house. I quickly freshen up and rush outside to meet him. We walk to our usual spot at the end of my close. No one is around cos it’s late and everyone is in the comfort of their homes so we have all the privacy we need.
I have this serious look on my face which he notices and tries to get me to loosen up. “Ha, aphro why the strong face now? Looosen up now…oya give me a smile, smileee now…”
I try to smile but I know it isn’t convincing cos the smile feels fake even to me. He shrugs and goes “Okay so what is this thing we need to talk about”.

I can’t recount what I said to him word for word but I can summarize it.
So I tell him how I feel he hasn’t been showing enough commitment in our relationship cos If I don’t call, he won’t call. How I feel I am the one trying to make the relationship work. How I need to know what exactly he has in mind for the relationship cos it’s been since months now and I believe a six months old baby has started crawling at least and taking solid foods so we need to establish a course for our relationship. How I felt by now he should know if I was the kind of woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with and vice versa. I also tell him about my discussion with my mum and her reaction but that I needed to know what he was thinking before starting an unnecessary war with my folks.

After talking for a while, I stop and look at him to see if he is getting the message. He looks at me amused then says “Go on now, am listening…”
I reply “But I just said a lot now and I want you to respond to all I said”
Then he chuckles quietly, adjusts himself properly on the pavement floor where we are seated and speaks.
“Aphro, you know how I feel about you. You know my people love you already. My mum and brothers havn’t met you but they are always asking about you. My sister likes you…”
I cut in “That is not what am asking you. This is not about ur family but about you and me. What do you really want? I need to know”
“Aphro, I love you and I will love to marry you. How can I not want that? You are a great person and I can wake up to your face everyday for the rest of my life but I am scared. I'm scared your parents will not accept me. Look at what you just said about your mum’s reaction. I have always wanted to marry into a family that accepts and loves me and I don’t want to be a problem for you and your family. I don’t want you to hate me later on in life for putting you against your parents”
My head is bent down and I am quietly listening to him but my mind is working seriously.
He goes on.
“What happens if I come to ask for your hand and they reject me? What happens then aphro?”
I look up at him. The sadness in my heart threatening to break out as tears from my eyes but I steel myself before I begin to talk.
“I have heard all you said. Whether they accept you or not doesn’t arise now. The main issue should be is this what you and I want? If we are both sure that we want to be together then facing my parents is the next step. I am not thinking of the problems I may encounter in your family. Am not worrying If they will accept me or not or if they will change their attitude towards me later. You are not ibo but am not thinking whether I will be able to adjust to your culture or not. All that are secondary issues. The main issue is Do I want to be with this man for the rest of my life? Anyway my interpretation of all you just said to me is that you are not ready for marriage and you are just trying to use my parents as an excuse. It is okay. The last thing I will do is to marry a man who doesn’t want it as much as I do. I should have talked to you first before bringing it up with my mum. Maybe it wouldn’t have been necessary to tell her about you in the first place”

At this point, he tries to pull me into his arms as he speaks
“Aphro, is that your own interpretation of what I said? It is not true at all. Am not trying to use your parents as an excuse. All am saying is the truth. I know how you feel about me. Infact if I was in doubt before, your actions today and what you just said now has just dispelled that. You say you shouldn’t have discussed me with your mum today but I think it is a good thing. I am happy that you did. I just know that there will be problems. Your parents will see me as an intruder which I don’t want…”

I cut in.
“You know what? I am not convinced you love me enough. I will tell you something. The guy I broke up with when I met you, B.G. He wanted to marry me but I wasn’t sure I wanted that and anytime he brought up the issue, I always told him that my parents won't accept him cos he wasn’t catholic and he is not from my place. Do you know what he would say? He would say to me “Aphro, forget about ur parents. If you love and accept me, your parents will have no choice but to accept me. That is a man in love. O, that is a man in love!”

I stop at this point. There is a palpable silence. I glance sideways at him and he looks really quiet and deep in thought. I know that what I just said has touched a raw nerve. Maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned B.G. I know how men hate to be compared with other men and O really hates it. Anyway, I needed to stress my point and that was the best way I could do it. It may have been a wrong way but I have done it. All there was to do now was to wait for him to speak. It was a long wait but he finally did when I started sobbing silently.

“*Clearing his throat* I have heard all you said Aphro. You know I hate been compared with anybody but it’s okay. I have heard you. Maybe I was seeing things differently from the way you are seeing it. You are upset now so i don’t want us to continue this. I need to digest everything that has gone down here and you need to calm down too so maybe we should just stop talking about this now okay?”

By now, am sobbing even harder but I respond still.
“I have always dreamt that when i would get married, it would be a romantic marriage proposal where my man would go down on his knees and ask me to marry him and I would jump on him and say yes. This is not how I wanted it. I shouldn’t be the one asking you if you want to spend your life with me or not..."

He stands up and pulls me up into his arms. I hug him tightly and look up at him with tear filled eyes still speaking.
“I understand if you want to think about it... It’s okay…”
“No, It’s not that. I don’t need to think about it…I just think that emotions are high now. I love you baby, I do even if you do not believe it…”
Wiping my eyes, I glance at the clock on my mobile phone.
“You need to start going now. It’s getting really late”

We walk back towards the house in silence. At the front of my house, we stare at each other. I don’t know if he expects a good night kiss. I want to kiss him but I know the mood is not right so I turn away and walk into my gate. He also gets into his car and drives off.

That was Tuesday night.

Wednesday all day, I expected his call but he never called. Got a text from him as I was preparing to leave for home in the evening. It read-

“I have not been myself since our talk last night. I don’t wanna lose you, the mere thot of it renders me clueless as to how life would be without you-unbearable”

I didn’t reply it though...didn’t know what to say.

I am typing this post on Friday morning and till this moment he hasn’t called or sent another text. I have decided to let him be. It is hard but I won’t call or text either. Let him take all the time he needs. Marriage is an important step; I do not expect him to take it if he isn’t ready.

Just that he may not find me willing when he finally decides to.

There is still plenty gist o. I haven't told you guys I talked with Bobo Nice. Then there is B.G too who of late has been sending sweet text messages to me asking that I have a rethink about us. Aha! There is Doctor too. I have never blogged about him before. He is currently in the UK doing a course but will be back in the country sooon.

So guys, keep a date next week for more tory(Una like gist well well o,lol...)

Great weekend everyone.

Out in the Open finally...

2008-08-14T05:39:00.000-07:00

Before I start today’s post, I’ll like to say this.
I do not write these stuff about my love life because I don’t have a mind of my own and I need people to tell me what to do.
No!
The reason I come here to post happenings in my love life is for the sole reason that nobody knows it all. It is always good to have a neutral opinion about issues. One could be thinking one thing based on one’s understanding and another person comes up with an entirely different perspective of the same issue and you realize that things are not exactly how you initially thought them to be.
Most times, it is the person who stands at the side watching a fight that can actually give a correct account of what led to the fight and which party was at fault not the one who was involved in the fight himself.
I find that a lot of times from the comments you leave I have been enlightened further or my eyes have been opened wider to see certain things in a different light than I initially did. You my friends, have been really awesome so far and I do not regret starting this blog or sharing my experiences with you. Not at all. I will continue to write them down and I hope you continue to bless me with your intelligent comments.
Thank you my dears.
Aphro.

Phew!
Finally got that little speech over with.
Now to today’s post.

It turns out that X didn’t put me on suspension afterall.
Okay lemme start with O.
The whole of that day (Monday), I didn’t pick his calls or reply his messages till late evening when I got back from work. By then I was beginning to feel sorry for him so when he called again for the umpteenth time that night, I answered. He sounded really worried and asked if there was any problem and why I hadn’t been picking his calls. I said there was no problem and that I had been busy all day. Then he asked why I didn’t return his calls when I saw them and I said I didn’t want to. From my reply, he knew something was up and kept asking me what it was. I finally caved in and said I was mad at him for not calling me all through Sunday. His reply was that he thought I would call if I was free but I didn’t so he felt I had other plans. I said
“hmm…hmmm, na so!” He sha apologized and I said he shouldn’t bother cos there was nothing to apologize for. Then he asked if we could talk during happy hour (free midnight call time). I said he could call if he was awake. Conversation ended. He didn’t call that night. I guess he over slept. I didn’t call too although I was awake.

Oh! Before I forget. I called X that Monday night too. Had some spare credit on my phone and felt wharrahel, lemme just lhim and feel his pulse. It was a very brief one.
Me: Hello…
X: Hello…
Me: What’s up? Are you okay?
X: Yea I am…
Me: Okay, I just called to make sure you were okay cos I haven’t heard from you all these while. Good nigh…
X: Am fine. How is Mum, Dad and everybody…
(I didn't let him finish. If he was that concerned about my folks he should have called to enquire about how they were doing and not wait till I call to start asking me long questions)
Me: Everybody is fine. Good night.
X: Okay Good night. Will see you tomorrow…
Click.(line dropped.)

Next morning (Tuesday). I was still trying to settle in for the day’s work when X dropped in. I looked up and said “So the reason you dropped in today was cos I called you last night abi? If I didn’t call you, you probably won’t be here this morning”.
He tried to refute what I said and explained that he had been very busy as they had been having training since the previous week in his office and he was in charge of co-ordinating things.
I wasn’t accepting that excuse though. “So your training extended even to your house after work? What happened to all those times you dropped in after work? Anyway whether you admit or not, I know that the only reason you came here this morning is cos I called you last night”
He would not agree with that. “It’s not true baby. I have been very busy. Okay am very sorry please forgive me. You know I don’t like it when you are angry”.
I looked at his face. “Me, angry?! Nooo, for what now. No need to apologise ke”.
After some awkward minutes of silence. He goes “Okay, I have to get back to the office now. I’ll see you later”.
I nod my head and he turns to leave but stops suddenly.
“Ehen! how are we celebrating your birthday?”My birthday is coming up soon-September 2nd. I was impressed he remembered but I reply nonchalantly.
“My birthday? I’m not celebrating”
“I’ll like to take you on a trip to Ghana”
“Ghana? I don’t think I want to go anywhere…”
He stares at my hand on the table and says “And I have something I want to give you but it has to wait till then”
Next he lifts my hand off the table, holds my ring finger and asks “Hmm…what size of ring do you wear?”
In my head. Am already doing the logic & reasoning.
“Why are you asking?"
“Nothing just wanted to know…”
“Anyway, I don’t know the size…”
I give him this odd look. He has a funny smile on his face. “It’s okay. Don’t worry” he says and turns and leaves finally.
I look at the closed door in alarm.
OH MY GOD…HE WANTS TO GIVE ME AN ENGAGEMENT RING ON MY BIRTHDAY!
I feel the panic rise in my throat and my mind goes into a riot.
Yeee…Things are getting serious. It’s high time I make a decision what road to take and stick to it o! What if he gives me an engagement ring? What do I do? Accept it…or reject it? I don’t even have the answer to that. I want to get married and X is not a bad guy but O…ha O!..I love O! But does he love me as well? Does he think am worth sharing the rest of his life with? Maybe he doesn’t love me like that. Aphrodite stop jumping to conclusions. Talk to him first. Gauge his reaction. That should give you a clue as to what to do next.

All these were the thoughts going on in my mind.

Finally, I arrive at a conclusion.
I need to have that talk with O again.
This time I was not going to take “let’s take it a day at a time” for an answer. It is either he wants or he doesn’t want. Six months is enough time for him to know if he wanted this relationship to be a permanent one or not.
My mind made up to talk with O, I calmed down and faced the day’s work

I was in the middle of work when he called me. O i mean.
He apologized for not staying awake to call as promised the previous night. I said it was okay. He noticed I wasn’t sounding too bright and he asked “Aphro what is the matter? Are you still angry with me?” “Nothing is the matter. Just that we need to talk” I replied.
“Talk? About what? Tell me what it is” I could feel the rising curiosity in his voice.
“It’s not a telephone conversation. We’ll talk when we see”
“Okay, I’ll try to leave the office early and come by to see you at home this evening. Is that okay?”
“Yea, it is. See you then”
“Bye”

Throughout the rest of the day. I kept thinking about the impending discussion with O and how I was going to present the issue.I didnt want it to look like i was a desperado for marriage or anything like that. I even chatted with a close girlfriend about it. She had never being a fan of O and kept telling me “Aphro fashi dat guy, he is not going to marry you”. However when I gisted her about how O spent the night at the hospital recently with me when I was admitted for one day (Sorry I didn’t blog about that). She had a change of heart and said she didn’t know he was that caring. She also agreed with me that it was necessary to talk with him and determine exactly where the relationship was heading.

Buoyed by my chat with my friend. I was ready for 'The Talk'

I got home that evening to find my mum in the mood for a chat. She asked how my day went and I found myself telling her everything. She already knew X was staging a comeback in my life but she didn’t know how serious things were. I have never been more open on love issues with my mum as I was that evening. I told her about how I wasn’t feeling the love for X as I used to. How I think he is planning to propose to me on my birthday. The Ghana trip. Then I told her my biggest secret these past six months. I told her about O.
How he was the one I loved now. How nice he was and that he works in a bank. She seemed cool with my gist until I mentioned he was Edo but his mother was Ibo. She sat up straight, looked me in the eye and said “Why do you always like to go the negative way?”
I'm like “How mum?” She goes on. “Edo? God forbid! Let them use their witchcraft and kill my daughter for me, no way!”
I know better than to argue so I let her finish talking before I start explaining the connection O has with uncle 1004. Remember I had said in an earlier post- The pleasant surprise that O’s aunt(his mother’s younger sister) is married to my uncle(Mum’s relation). After my explanation. Mum calms down a bit. She didn’t look like she was ready to kill anyone anymore,lol…but she goes on to advise me to forget about O and stick with X because the devil you know is better than the angel you don’t know(her words exactly).
I say “Mum, but you haven’t met him yet now…” She says “Why do I have to meet him? There is no point. Nne you can’t go to Edo please”. She goes on to lecture me about Edo people and how they are known for diabolical stuffs. I listen in silence. After a while she says. “Talk to your father about it, let us hear what he has to say”
I go “Haa…I can’t o! You want him to kill me?!! Mum you tell him for me”
She laughs. “Nooo! Tell him yourself”
Shaking my head vigorously and saying “Noooooo” I get up and head to my room. I needed to change and wait for O.

Sorry guys. I have to continue this post later. Damn! it is too long as it is already and my fingers are numb from typing. Promise to be back sooner than you think. Gist plenty ooooo...so stay tuned,lol...

Expecting to read your sincere intelligent comments as usual.

xxkissesxx

Suspension for O & X

2008-08-11T05:04:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone.
Am back and better! Thanks for all the beautiful, insightful comments you left on my previous post. You can’t possibly know how much I appreciate all of them. May God continue to bless every one of you and grant your heart’s desires, AMEN!!!

The latest gist now is this- X and O are on suspension,lol…

Okay more like, X put me on suspension and I put O on suspension.

Let me add more flesh to the gist…before I start, I must warn you all that this is going to be one of my usual long assed post so get urself some salt&sugar popcorn, than sit back and read,lol...

Starting with X…

The Friday(before my last post). I was back at home from work and just lying in bed when X’s call came in. He was like “Babes, are you home? I want to see you”. I said okay fine. Then he asked if I wanted him to get me Suya (he knows I have a soft spot for suya,lol…), I said it was okay.

I was still waiting for X to come when O called me. While on the phone with O. X’s call came in but I didn’t answer it since I was still talking with O. Just as I ended the conversation with O, X call came in again. This time I answered and he said he was outside my house so I went out to meet him.

When I got outside, he handed over the Suya and drink to me. I took it and thanked him. Then he said “I called you before, didn’t you see my call?” . I was like “yeah, I did…I was on the phone then”. “So why didn’t you call me back when you were through with your call” he continued. I said “Cos you called almost immediately”. Then he went on about how long he had been waiting outside my gate and all. I was getting pissed and asking myself if the Suya and Coke was worth listening to his lamentations,lol… Anyway sha, after a while he now chilled and we talked about some other stuffs. He didn’t seem like he was in a hurry to leave and I wanted him to cos O had said he may come see me that evening if he was able to round up his work on time. So I told him I was busy with some stuffs inside the house and I had to get back inside. He said okay and moved closer to give me a kiss but I turned my head away. He was like “What is it? Cant I give you a kiss?” I retorted “Must you give me a kiss every time we see?" Then he said “We need to have a serious talk, You know what i want(marriage) but I don’t understand your attitude to me at times. Can we see tomorrow?” I wasn’t sure what O’s plans were for the weekend and I didn’t want to couldn’t commit myself to seeing X the next day so I said, “Maybe, if am around, we will see” He didn’t like my answer and kept pressuring me to be more definite but I kept saying maybe, maybe as I headed back inside my compound. He drove off resignedly.

That weekend, O had to go to work but he came around in the evenings for an hour or so. I didn’t pick X’ calls all through that weekend. I knew he wanted an answer to his marriage proposal and I didn’t have an answer for him yet. I know it’s not fair to keep a man hanging like that and it was quite selfish of me but I avoided him all weekend.

I must say it here that since that weekend. X hasn’t called me or dropped by even though his office is just opposite mine and I know he’s been coming to work cos I see his car outside everyday. Once, I called him at night but he didn’t answer his call. He may have been asleep but then he must have seen my missed call when he woke up but he never called back so I have decided to let him be. Maybe that is the way God wants to resolve the matter.

Now to O and his own suspension…

After reading some of your comments on my last post especially doll who said, it was obvious that I am into O more than he is into me. I had to ask myself certain pertinent questions and then decided to lay low for a while and not call him or contact him and see how it all plays out.
I did that post last Tuesday right?

So Tuesday, I didn’t call. He didn’t call.
Wednesday, I didn’t call, he didn’t call as well.
By this time, I was like so I have been the one keeping this relationship alive all this while? So if I don’t call, he won’t call enh? Okay oo…

Thursday morning, he called.
“Baby I havn't heard from you for a while. What’s happening now? Anyway I got you ur gizzard”(There is this woman that brings smoked gizzard to their office and he had bought some for me once which I liked)
I said “Oh how sweet of you dear. Will pass by your office and pick it on my way home” His office is on my way home.

As promised, on my way home, I stopped by his office. I deliberately put up a cold attitude when he came out and didn't give him a hug or kiss like I used to. I was all formalish, asked him about work and other stuff. He noticed and was like he didn’t like my attitude after all he left his work and came down to see me and all am giving him is this cold attitude. In my head, I was like see this guy o, Me that came all the way to see you nko? Is that not a bigger deal than you that just came out of ur office? Anyway I didn’t say anything. I just said I was not feeling too well. We didn’t spend much time together cos he had to go back to his work and I had to go home.

Friday, I didn’t call. He didn’t call too. Friday night, I called him cos I needed to know if we would be hooking up during the weekend as planned. He had promised me when I complained about his having to work every weekend that we would hang out together this weekend.
So I called, but he didn’t answer. He was probably sleeping cos it was quite late at night then.

Saturday morning he called me. He explained that he was fast asleep and didn’t hear his phone ring. Then he asked me what the plan was? I was like how do you mean? He said “Do you want to see me today”. I don’t know why I felt pissed at that moment. Maybe it was all the long days of silence or maybe I felt like he took it for granted that I didn’t have any other thing to do except wait for him to decide to see me.
So I told him , I had other plans and it wouldn’t be possible to see him. It felt good to burst his bubble. He was like okay, I guess I have to find something else to do. That was not quite the reaction I wanted. I wanted him to feel sad and even try to talk me out of my supposed plans but no, the bobo didn’t even raise issues. So I said “Why are you calling me on Saturday morning to ask what the plans are? I could have other plans too…” He cut in “But I told you last week that we would spend this weekend together, anyway it’s okay, go ahead with ur plans”

I was at the market later that evening when he called and he was like he had been expecting my call. I said I had been busy and planned to call him later. I asked what he was up to and he said he was at his brother’s place cos he couldn’t go have fun by himself without me. I was touched small sha,lol…

I didn’t call him later that night. He didn’t call either.

Sunday was pretty boring but I resisted the urge to call him. I thought he would call but he didn’t. At the last minute, I packed my stuff and headed over to the salon to do my nails. At least the day wouldn't be wasted.

At night, when I hadn’t still heard from him, I sent a text:
“Hey, how are you babes, How did your day go?”
He didnt reply immediately and i fell asleep.
This morning i saw his reply “My day was okay. How was urs?”

So I have deleted his number from my phone(Okay I admit I left it on my second phone,lol…). It has become very obvious that we are not operating on the same frequency so until he gives me reason to believe otherwise. He is on suspension starting today.

Catch you all larer…

PS: Am still doing the thinking and praying o...

UPDATE
O just sent me a text now.
"How are you pooky?(whatever does pooky mean?) I asked how your day was yesterday but you didn't reply. Been a busy bee lately, havn't you? It's okay, I understand. I'm often guilty of that . Miss you lots. O"

He has obviously noticed there is some changes but wants to put it down to me being busy. Okay ooo, he is still on suspension so i won't reply or do I?

Settling...

2008-08-05T03:25:00.000-07:00

Mummy said to me recently…
“Aphrodite, my dear, I would love for you to get married soon and to someone from our place. It is a thing of pride for a mother who’s daughter marries from home and not from faraway. However, I don’t mind if the man is not from our town but he has to be of the same tribe as us. A first daughter doesn’t go too far from home, you hear?”

I heard her loud and clear.

These past few days, its becoming more and more imminent that I may have to say ‘yes’ to X. O hasn’t asked anything yet so there is no question to say yes to. I know where my heart lies but it is unfortunate that I have to make a decision that may not be in line with my heart’s desire.

X is not a bad guy. He is actually good to me and I think he will make me a good husband. I may never get to know what kind of husband O will make. I used to love X, am sure I can still rekindle that love and make the best of married life with him after all it is said that if life hands you lemons, you make lemonade out of them!
I might as well try to make lemonade out of my lemons.

Love, everyone says is a decision.
I did not choose to fall in love with O. It just happened!
But I chose to fall out of love with X then. Maybe I can try to fall back into love with him again.

I know some of you my friends may feel that am ‘settling’. Maybe I am. The truth is that I really want to settle down and have those beautiful babies and if X is the man, so be it! For many girls, X could be the man of their dreams. Is it becos there is O and I am opportuned to have choices that I do not know that I should appreciate what God has presented before me?

I don’t need a soothsayer to tell me that my parents will not accept O simply because he is not Ibo. X is not from my town but at least he is Ibo and my family already know him and do not have anything against him.

I must admit also that I am a bit scared of waddling into unknown rivers. Marrying a man from a different tribe scares me really. They may have some strange culture and traditions that doesn’t tally with my own beliefs and values as a person. What happens then? Call it cowardice but the truth is I am more comfortable amongst my own.

I haven’t said anything to O yet. I don’t even know how to bring the issue up. X has been waiting patiently for an answer to his proposal. I don’t know how long his patience will last.

I wanted so much to find the kind of mind-consuming, heart skipping love I desired which was why I named this blog-‘Girl in search of love’ . Just when it seems I had found what I wanted. I have to let it go.

It’s so sad…
:(

FUNNY PHONE CALL AND OTHER GISTS

2008-07-28T03:42:00.000-07:00

Something funny happened Sunday night. I got a call from some strange lady. I’ll just take you through our phone exchange. Let’s call the strange lady S.L

Me: Hello…
S.L: Hello, am I speaking to Aphrodite?
Me: Yea…who is this?
S.L: My name is S.L. Bobo Nice’s friend.
You guys know Bobo Nice now. My friend I met during NYSC that has always wanted something more but who I don’t feel any attraction for. Remember now?
Me: Oh…okay…
S.L: Bobo Nice has been my friend since our uni days and I went to visit him today and saw your pictures in his album. I fell in love with you instantly and asked who the fine babe was and he told me all about you. How much he loved you and everything…
At this point am suspecting where the conversation is headed so I chuckle.
Me: Hmmm,hmmm...
S.L: Please I just want to ask you a favour…
Me: Okay…
S.L: Please marry Bobo Nice. He is a very good guy and he is madly in love with you. He doesn’t know how else to prove his feelings to you so he poured out his feelings to me today so am begging you, please marry him. I am married and six months pregnant, I beg you with the baby in my womb please accept him, you will never regret it.
At this point I burst into laughter. Begging me with the baby in her womb ke? This na serious matter sha.
Me: Ha ha ha…did Bobo Nice put you up to this?
S.L: Noooo! He didn’t but I had to call you because he told me how he felt about you and he really wants to marry you, moreover I told you I loved you the moment I saw your picture. Please my dear, pleaseeeeeeee you won't regret it…
Me: You know what, am actually somewhere now so can you call me back later when it will be conducive for us to talk.
I was actually outside my house gisting with my neighbour.
S.L: Okay I‘ll call you later then. Bye.
Me: Bye.

Thinking about that call later. I felt sorry for poor Bobo Nice. I didn’t need anyone to tell me he was a good guy and all afterall we’ve been friends like 4 years now. Unfortunately, he was in love with me but I wasn’t with him. Why is life so complicated, I mean why can’t a person love the person that loves him/her equally? Why would Mr.A be in love with Miss B who in turn will be in love with Mr. C. It’s not just fair! It is only very few lucky ones that find a partner who they love and who reciprocates equally. I guess one can only pray to get lucky in love.

See now, Bobo Nice, K, B.G, X are all in love with me and wish to marry me but stupid me, instead of reciprocating the love to one of them, am following one coconut head(O of course!) who sometimes I wonder If he really feels for me the same way I feel for him. Na wa for this life o!
Anyway am waiting for S.L to call again and I’ll politely tell her that I am in a relationship with a guy I really like(Please note I said like not love cos recently I have been trying to re-evaluate what it is I really feel for O. Not sure yet if it is love, I may just be infatuated,lol…) and that Bobo Nice is simply my friend and nothing more. Marrying him doesn’t come up at all!

Ehen! Something else happened last week that I wanted to blog about but didn’t have time to do so. I guess I can blog about it now abi?

I was in my office jejely facing my work when O came in unannounced (that reminds me, I need to have a word with the office receptionist about this. She doesn’t even inform me when he comes these days. She just lets him right in. Even if he was my husband sef, I still think it’s not right for her to usher him in without my notice). So he came with his elder sister and guess what! Concidentally, we’ve met before(I and his sister). My company did some business with her some time ago. You see, this world is a really small place. Thank God we had a cordial contact then. What if we had some issues then and now she turns out to be my boyfie’s sister? E for hard o,lol…

Anyway, it was a pleasant surprise. He had told her about me and she said she knew me, so he brought her to my office. His sister is married to an Ibo man. I remember the first time we met, I had thought she was Ibo cos she really looks like a typical Ibo woman and speaks the language. I was surprised when she told me she was from Edo. O speaks and understands Ibo too although that should be expected since their mum is Ibo.

They didn’t stay long cos O had to get back to his office. When they were about leaving, I got up to see them off to the car. As we strolled to the car, guess who I saw in the premises? X! Remember he works just opposite my office. I think he came to do some stuff in my office premises or maybe he was actually coming to see me. I stopped briefly to greet him with a formal handshake. I could see O was giving me an inquiring look. O knew about X and that he worked opposite my office but he hadn’t met him before. X also knew about O but he also hadn’t met him in person. They gave each other some funny look, me I quickly greeted X and walked on ahead with O and his sister.

As they made to enter the car, O pulled me aside and asked: “Who was that guy you greeted?” I turned to look in the direction of X and he was staring at us. I quickly turned back to O and told him “We’ll talk about that later, your sister is waiting”. So he got into the car and I walked back towards my office. I sensed that he was watching me to see if I’d go back to meet X so I didn’t even stop when I passed by X. I just moved straight ahead into my office.

A few minutes later, O’s call came in. I was expecting it so I smiled when he asked
“Aphrodite, who was that guy?”
I replied “You know him now…”
“Know him? How?”
“Okay he is my X, the one I told you about”
“Your X. When will they leave you for me enh baby?”
“You don’t have to worry about him, he is not a threat at all”
“Are you sure?”
“Yea I am”
Na so that one come take end sha.

Later X dropped in. I expected him to ask about O and his sister but surprisingly he didn’t even say a word about them or even mention how I treated him as in just walking into my office without looking at his side. I guess he wanted to be matured about things cos it was really obvious that there was some thing up between me and the guy I saw off.

I have to admit that is one good thing about X. he doesn’t pry too much especially if he feels that he may not like the answer he’ll get. If it was O enh…wahala for dey that day,lol…

I didn’t see O all through last weekend. It was end of the month and as usual he had to work weekends. Na wa for that their bank o. I have friends who are bankers and who do not have to go to work on weekends even at the end of the month but not O’s bank. They must all work weekends at the end of the month especially those in O’s department (Operations).
Its annoying me cos its only weekends that we get to see and one demanding job like that will now be coming between us. Hiss!

Anyway, I think I have overyarned as it is. I planned to make this post as short as possible so nikkisab wont have to go on break this time,lol…

Take care y’all and have a lovely week.

I’ll try to drop by your blogs.

xxx kisses xxx

Do I trust him or not...

2008-07-18T07:46:00.000-07:00

I know I have been AWOL. I’m so sorry for that peeps. It was due to unavoidable circumstances,lol…
However, am back now so you can please stop missing me ,lol…(I wish...right?)

So what’s been happening? Any interesting drama lately? Did I miss any birthdays, weddings, naming ceremonies?

I hope not!

As far as I know Oluwadee and Florida’s D day never reach unless them don go behind my back reschedule the date so that I no go fit chop wedding cake,lol…

So to the main Koko for today.

Na wa o…gist scarce sha. I no even know wetin to yarn una my fine people and I no want start to formulate gist(I know some people dey do am for this obodo blogville,lol…)

Anyway make I just dey yarn dey go. Gist must flow abi….?

First of all, I have a crazy midnite stalker o!

I have complained on this blog sometime ago that someone was always flashing me in the wee hours of the morning. Then I suspected K but now am not sure anymore o…If it is really K, then the guy must be in dire need of a psychiatrist counseling abi how else will you explain someone who stays up at night when im mates dey sleep just to be flashing another person’s child with unknown number. Sometimes the idiot really calls and when he/she finally succeeds in ruining my beauty sleep, they refuse to speak, Sometimes I can actually hear the ewu mmee breathing sef….Shiou!!!
Last night the jobless mofo called again and when I answered the phone and he/she did the annoying silence thingy. I simply said “Who is this stupid freak that calls people at night without talking?” I knew the idiot could hear me so he/she probably got the message. Rubbish concobility!

Abeg make I give una better gist jare…

O and I almost broke up last weekend o…

Wetin happen?

Na me find trouble sha…as inyanga dey sleep jejely and i no let am rest,lol…

But somehow sha am kinda glad I did…

So O came around last Sunday to visit and we hung out at one isi-ewu joint like dat. After enjoying a hot plate of nkwobi(I don’t know what its called in English abeg). We sha left the joint and headed back home. Got home and me I felt like not leaving him so quickly so we chilled in the car listening to some cool jams on the stereo.

Okay so he just bought this cute blackberry phone and am like let me admire your phone jare, you know see the functions and all. You know as man pikin no get blackberry, I can still admire abi?lol…

So I was admiring phone o and pressing keys o when I now stumbled on Message Inbox. The temptation to click was just too much abeg. I resisted o, really I did but the flesh was weak,lol…

So I clicked and the first message I see just cause katakata for my brain

“Am sorry baby, please we are in the house of God, let’s not quarrel, I love you”

Jesus!

I glanced to look at O. His head was flung back against the chair head-rest and his eyes were closed. He was obviously into the music blaring from the speakers and was oblivious to what I was doing.

So I continued, albeit stylishly sha before them catch me now,lol…

I checked the date on the text.

It read 12-7-08.
That day was 13th so 12th was the previous day.

But I was with him the whole of yesterday I thought. Then I remembered he didn’t come to pick me up for our date till afternoon. He had told me he had some office duties to attend to that morning so he would be coming late to see me.

Hmmm…so na where this man come go? I wondered. And who be dis opeke wey dey send am text dey say I love you blab la bla…

I stylishly perused the next text messages while glancing at him occasionally to make sure he didn’t suspect what I was doing.

I saw another one o…

“I waited for you so we could get his present together but since you didn’t show up, I had to go on…”

And another one…

“I sent some money to mum and told her it was from you. She was very happy”

By this time, my eyes were seeing reeeeeeeeeeddddd!!!!
I couldn’t believe what I was seeing at all.
Who was this babe and what was between her and O?!!

I needed to find out.
I needed to read more but not illegitimately so I closed the messages and gave the phone back to O. He was singing the song playing on the stereo to me but no be dat one dey worry me by then. I was so disappointed!

Before I go on, I must admit that I am no saint myself. Afterall, you all know some of my kuru-kere moves with X abi? But even then, I have never hid the fact that I was having contact with X from O. O knew very well that X was making efforts to win me back. He also knew about K, B.G and others and knew very well that he was the only one I was dating and doing intimate stuff with. The others are just wannabe boyfriends!

So back to my gist.

I gave the phone back to X while thoughts on how he was going to give the phone back to me to read his text messages himself was going through my mind.

I can be a manipulator o…don’t try me,lol…

So I started talking about how open I have been with him in this relationship and how I wanted him to be open to me too. I asked him if there was any girl in his life who he has never told me about. He replied that except for his ex who was trying desperately to come back with him, there was no other girl and I was the only one. Then I asked if he was encouraging her in any way and he replied that he wasn’t. If anything, he was impressing it on her that he was in love with someone else now and they were over.

Then I went on to talk about how trust is very important for a relationship to work…about how I need to trust him and how he needs to trust me. He agreed with me. Then I said one way to establish the trust would be for us to exchange our handsets that very minute and go through each other’s message inbox. It would help us to know exactly what is going on in each other’s lives. I knew I had a lot of crazy text messages in my inbox. Messages professing love from X, K , B.G, Bobo nice and co…but I also knew they were just that-messages professing love, nothing more and I was ready for him to read them!

O was reluctant. He didn’t buy the idea at all but I was insistent. I told him that this was a test of our love and if he didn’t hand over his phone, I’ll know he has a lot of skeletons in his cupboard and I won’t be able to trust him again even if he gave me the phone at a later date. When he saw there was no getting out, he handed over his phone and collected mine but not before he said: “I don’t know why you insist on this but I have a feeling, this won’t end well” I smiled. I already knew it wouldn’t!

Meeen this post don over long o…but why do I know you guys will have my head if I stop here and post part two next week ,lol…

THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING!!!

LOL…am not going to try it before una go swear for me…

So continuing my gist

But I don tire na…una no dey tire for gist sef?lol...

Okay, okay…

So we exchanged phones. Now I had every right under the sky to read and peruse the texts as I liked. He had given it to me himself!

I opened his inbox and he opened mine.

We were both reading at the same time and exclaiming at the same time too.

Me: (Reading out loud)I love you! Who is this telling you I love you?

Him: Hmmm…that’s my ex. I told you she was coming on strong, didn’t I?

Him: (Reading out loud) Baby make me the happiest man on earth and I will love you forever…Aphrodite, who is this person and what does he mean by this?

Me: It’s K and he means he wants me to agree for him now…

On and on. We kept reading, asking questions and answering questions.

He had more questions to answer than me though.

There were lots of explanations he needed to make. For instance, where did he go Saturday morning? God’s house? Church? With who? Who was the girl who was apologizing? Who wanted to pick a card with him?

Questions, Questions , Questions. I needed answers.

He started explaining.

He was on his way to the office when a pastor friend who was a mutual friend of his and his ex called to remind him that that day was his birthday and he was having a special service and he(O) had to be there unless he(pastor) would not be happy with him. He had promised him that he would make it so he had to head there from the office, spent some time briefly before he came to see me. He and his ex almost had issues in the church when she was trying to give the impression that they were still an item which was why she was apologizing at a point.

I was disappointed and I told him so. How come he conveniently left out the fact that he had gone for a pastor’s birthday service with his ex when he came late to see me?

There were some other notable text messages from the same girl.

“Thanks for giving me the time of my life. I love you so very much”

I read this one and screamed: "TIME OF HER LIFE??? So you’re still going out with her? Where did you take her to that she is thanking you for giving her the time of her life?"

He was like, she was thanking him for the time they were together while they were still dating.

I dint know what to make of his response but i read on...

“I am talking to some agents for the house as per the specifications. It just pains me that after all these wahala, it’s another woman that will be enjoying it not me”

Okay for this one. I know O has been house hunting for a while now. He still stays at his family house since his dad is late and he is the first son but he wants his own place now even though his mum doesn’t want this.

But how come this girl is house hunting for him too? Which kain ex-friendship be this one now?

He explained sha that before they broke up. They were house hunting and talking to house agents together and that some of the agents still contact her thinking they are still together and all which was why she sent that text.

Anyhooo, to cut the long matter short.

I was so so pissed that I told him it was over between us and that he should get back with his ex since they were still so chummy and all(I no mean am o,lol…)

But then he pleaded and pleaded. He said she just seemed so helpless and miserable which was why he was trying to be nice with her. I insisted that he had to cut all ties with the girl if he wanted us to continue the relationship and he promised to do so.

I almost requested that he gave me the girl’s number so I could call her and ask her to stay away from my man just incase he wasn’t telling her the truth about the whole situation but then again, I decided against that. It was his mess to clean up, not mine.

So as at now, we are still together but i don't know whether i believe all he told me and if I say I trust him one hundred percent now, I'd be lying.

Na wa for man wahala jare!

Am out.

The party and the pleasant surprise.

2008-07-07T09:42:00.000-07:00

Happy new week everybody.
Hope ur weekend went down well and no wahala at all?
We thank God for life and I thank him for all of you my friends. Una too much jare.
May this week bring all the favours and blessings we hope for, Amen.

Okay so what gist do I have for you guys today.

Plenty!

I just pray I have enough time to spill it all out.

There is a challenge between O and I going on now.

We call it the Romance Challenge.

Its like this, we realised that we haven’t been particularly romantic towards each other as we should so everyday each person has to try and outdo the other with some romantic gesture. So far it’s been cool sha and guess who has been winning. Moi of cos! That guy has no romantic bone in his body at all. I have told him, he has a lot to learn in the romance department.

Last night I serenaded him with my favourite song of the moment-No Air(Jordin Sparks/Chris brown). He was so happy. Who no like beta thing? Anyway am waiting to see what he’ll do today. So far I haven’t been impressed at all.

Last Saturday was my mum’s birthday and she had a party. I planned to invite O to the party and use the opportunity to introduce him to my family as my friend o, nothing more! I never ready to answer question yet,lol…

Anyways, that plan was spoilt when I realized K and X would be coming. Mum is friendly with both guys and invited them both. Knowing them(K & X) very well, I knew they would try to cling to me all through the event so I decided not to put O through the embarrassment. He wasn’t too happy that I didn’t invite him cos somehow I let it slip that we were having a party that weekend, however he thought it was probably cos I wasn’t ready for him to meet the parents yet.

I also invited B.G. The guy I used to date before I met O(see earlier posts). True, he is also still nursing the hope that we can still end up together. Sincerely I know he truly cares for me sha. In fact if u ask me between O, X and B.G, who loves me more. I’d say B.G and am very sure about that. He proved it in more ways than one while we were dating even up till now despite the fact that I broke things off with him and told him I was in love with some other guy(O).

So that day, There were three guys jostling for my attention at the party. X, K and B.G.

K and X knew they were rivals but they still put up a show of greeting each other with smiles although I wonder if it reached their hearts. B.G didn’t know either of them and they didn’t know him too. I tried to busy myself with attending to the guests but every chance they got, one of them was sure to corner me at a spot acting all husbandy and all. Even B.G had to go introduce himself to Mum as ‘my friend’. Mum being the sharp woman she is later asked me what kind of friend i was with that guy that came to greet her. I replied that he was my friend too,lol…

X’s own was the one that pissed me off sef. Anytime he saw me talking to a male guest for more than 5 minutes, he would come around and introduce himself to the guy and before he left us, he was sure to tell me some thing using the prefix ‘Honey’. I just tire for the guy. Sometimes when he called that Honey, I go just do ear like say I no hear at all. Which kain marking territory be that one now?
One of my friends(a guy) who attended even commented-“Wetin dey do that guy sef? Even if u be im wife, make e take am easy now!”

K adopted a much more mature attitude. He just kept his distance. He obviously noticed I didn’t want any gumming body not to add that X was always hovering around like fly over shit so the poor guy no see chance to take corner me.

I just kept thanking God that I didn’t make the mistake of inviting O. The guy eye for just turn reeeeed!!!

The party went well sha.

Later that night. O called me and it was to give me a surprising news. It was a pleasnt surprise.

He had told me some time back that his aunty(mother’s younger sister) was married to a guy from my town. I just waved it aside as one of those gists so you can imagine my shock when he called me that Saturday night. Our conversation went thus:

O: Aphrodite, you can’t believe this…my uncle knows ur family very well.
Me: Your uncle?
O: Remember I told you my mum’s younger sister was married in your place. They both know ur family very well. Speak with him.
(At this point another voice comes on)
Uncle: Nne, kedu?(How are u?)
Me: O dim ma(am fine). Who is this?
Uncle: Your mother’s brother…
Me: My mother’s brother? Which one?
Uncle: Uncle E. 1004(He used to live with his family at 1004 in V/I. As kids we called him Uncle I004)
Me: Uncle!!! Good evening sir! Kee ka unu mere(How are you people doing?)
Uncle: We are doing fine. How is your mummy? Is she there, let me greet her.
Me: She is fine, hold on let me give her the phone

I ran to give mummy the phone only to find the line had cut off.
Later O called and gave me the gist. Uncle 1004 who is my younger brother’s god father(yea our families are that close!) is his auntie’s husband. They had given him a lot of gist about my family and all. In fact O was just giving me gist about my family. I didn’t worry sha cos there are no skeletons in our cupboard so nothing to fear. Later on when mumsy was asking me how come Uncle 1004 called me on my phone to greet her instead of calling her. I had to explain what happened. She asked me who the friend of mine was. I told her he was just a friend. She asked where he was from. I said Edo state, then she said okay she remembered Aunty T(uncle’s wife) had a sister who married an Edo man.

Anyway, that’s the gist o!

O and I have some sort of connection. I wonder if this is a sign from God that things will work out between us and the tribe thing wouldn’t be a barrier at the end of the day.

O however told me that uncle E had told him that it would be a difficult battle to get my folks to accept him as a son-in-law cos they are really staunch Catholics and also wont like me to marry a non-ibo even though his case was slightly better since he was half Ibo (his mum is Ibo).
Oh well, make we dey see sha…

What else?
Okay, I know y’all have been asking what happens to X?
Truth is I haven’t told him anything yet but it’s beginning to look like I will have to soon given the way he acted at the party last weekend-like he owned me and had paid my bride price or something.
I am just being relauctant to tell him off outrightly cos again am feeling I may be making a mistake. O hasn’t declared his stand as per marriage. X has and like a lot of people(my mum too) have pointed out, he has a lot of nice qualities to make a good husband. A friend of mine (a much older guy who should know) also told me that what makes a marriage successful happens within it and not before it and I shouldn’t be deceived by that rush of ‘hot love’ that most young ladies seek.

Me I no know again sha.

The long awaited gist and some more...

2008-07-02T04:34:00.001-07:00

Ehen…am back to tell the gist everyone has been waiting to hear. I no say if I no do this post today, some peeps go swear for me,lol…
Una see how much I love una wey go make me leave my work come dey update blog. And it’s not like am getting paid for it o,lol…in fact we need to start collecting fees for reading blogs sef or wetin una feel,lol…

Okay so how did the deed happen? Florida I hope you'll stop feeling one kind after reading.

Make una coolu temper, i dey come now(no pun intended o), patience...patience,lol…

As usual, am going to start from the last time I posted before the last(am I making sense?) Okay from two posts back.

As at last Friday, I was so sure O was becoming past tense in my life. X had been really nice and great and I was beginning to feel the way to go was with him and not with O. Yea O had apologized a few days back and promised to put more effort into the relationship than he had been doing previously but still he spoilt it all when I asked what plans he had for our relationship and he replied that we should take things a day at a time unlike X who stated confidently that he wanted to spend the rest of his life loving me as in marriage and all the works.

Saturday, I had an event to attend. A friend’s baby’s naming ceremony. X asked to accompany me and I said fine why not. We went together and later on went to see a movie at the cinema. All the time we were together, my mind kept going back to O. O had told me earlier that he would be working that day but he would call to check up on me throughout the day. My phone was on silent cos I didn’t want an embarrassing situation with X. The plan was to avoid picking O’s calls except when it was okay and convenient to answer it. Unfortunately, it was never convenient. X superglued himself to me all day, the guy just didn’t want to let me out of his sight justifiably though cos I was looking so yummylicious,lol…

So there we were...X and I and O’s calls kept coming in. My phone was on silent so X wasn’t aware but I knew and next thingI started feeling bad for O. I suddenly wanted the date to end so I could be rid of X and be able to call O. Anyway, our date didn’t end till late that evening and I practically had to beg X to go home cos he still wanted to hang out at my place a while before leaving. Finally he left and I called O. There was relief in his voice when i called cos he had been worried that something was wrong cos he had been calling all day and I wasn’t picking. I assured him that all was well and I wasn’t able to pick his calls cos I was in a noisy place. He didn’t pry as to where I went and I didn’t volunteer any more info. However he insisted that we were spending the next day Sunday together and even though he still had some unfinished work at the office he would try to round up on time so that we could spend some time together. I was willing cos spending the Sunday with O looked more interesting than spending it with X.

So Sunday, after church, I sent O a text asking what time he would be coming. I wanted him to come early so we could spend enough time together. He called to say he would make it around 1pm. I decided to take a short nap before it was time to get ready. I overslept and woke up around 2.30pm. OMG! I thought. I had kept the poor guy waiting! I checked my phone expecting to see several missed calls but there was none so I called to find out what was up only for him to tell me that he was stuck in the office as his boss had just arrived but that he would try to make it down before 5 so we could catch the 6 o’ clock movie. I wasn’t happy but wetin I go do now? So I just chilled.
X called to ask if he could come over but I told him I was out of the house.
Na so I begin wait for O o! I waited and waited and waited until I fell asleep again out of boredom,lol… This time I woke up around 6pm. No O…No missed calls. By now I was so furious that if I called him, I would probably eat him raw so I decided not to call, I just stewed in my anger. Then his text came in:
“Baby am so so sorry. Finally left the office now and on my way to ur end. Will make it up to you, I promise”
Hiss. I was pissed.
Around few minutes to 8pm, he arrived and was all apologies. I was angry but my anger was more because the day had been wasted and we hadn't been able to spend the time together as I had planned.
I didn’t talk. I was just boning. Then he said he was going to try to get us to the cinema in 15mins so we could catch the 8pm movie. This was a trip that normally took like 35mins o! I got into the car and he started doing some Jackie chan stunts on the road. Na im me I remember say I be my parents first pikin and I never ready to die yet so I told him I wasn’t interested in the movie again and we should just hang out in the neighbourhood. We usually hang out at this dance bar close to my house so we decided to go there for some drinks but not before we stopped over at a suya spot to buy some suya.

At the dance bar we sat a corner hidden from the view of other customers. We talked and we smooched. Okay we smooched more than we talked,lol… there was just something about that evening. Maybe cos we hadn’t seen each other for a while. We were really absorbed in ourselves. We couldn’t get our hands off each other. The heat got really intense and he began to stroke me under my top,fondling my boobs and tweaking my nipples. Then he buried his head in my chest and sucked on my boobs like a new born baby. I cradled his head with my arms and if you were passing our seat, you probably wouldn’t guess what was going on. The excitement mounted , I could feel his erection and my juices had begun to flow. We had to stop before things got out of hand.

Later as he dropped me off, we kissed. It was meant to be a goodbye kiss o but the next thing I knew we were tearing away again at each other. This time we went farther than we did at the dance bar. His hands found their way into my pants and he started pleasuring me.

Abeg me I no sabi gist erotic stories like afrobabe o!

He wanted us to do right there and I was like the place is not right and all. Doing it in the car is not just my idea if how I want our first time to be. Then a wild thought came into my head. My folks were out of town and my younger ones would be probably asleep cos it was late. Why not we head to a nice cosy hotel and spend the night together. Immediately I suggested it, I wasn’t sure anymore but then I had already said it and O was all for it(before nko,lol…). I went into the house, picked up a few things and we drove straight to this hotel near my house.

I stayed in the car while he went to make the arrangements then he came to get me and we went in. The room wasn’t bad. It was small and cosy but it was okay. It felt like a honeymoon even though we knew in our hearts why we were there. It wasn’t just about sex for me although I must admit I wanted to satisfy my curiosity and all but I also wanted to spend the night in his arms and he also confessed that he had dreamt of the day we would spend the night together for so long. Remember we’ve been dating since February and this would be our first time together. I know 5months is not too long but we try na, some people dey do am for the first date sef,lol…

Okay so back to my gist.

We got in. I went to have my bath first and locked the door. O was laughing at my shyness. It was funny cos it was only a matter of minutes before he saw the whole thing so what was the point locking the door,lol…anyway I sha locked the door and wore my nightie before coming out of the bathroom. Then he went into have his bath. He didn’t lock the door. What’s up with men and their lack of shyness sef?!! They love to fluant their stuff especially when they know they are well endowed,lol...Well since he left the door open, I went to peep,lol... He knew I was peeping cos I was like “Am looking o!” That was when I saw the sneak preview of what was down there. It wasn’t exactly massive but you wouldn’t call it small. I started wondering what it was I felt the other day. Did my hands deceive me?

I was still wondering when he finished his bath and came out. One thing led to the other and we landed on the bed. Charizard you were right o! You can never tell how big a man is until he is fully aroused. When O’s kini was fully erect, I couldn’t believe the transformation…in short, the bobo try for that side and he get gather small skills join am.

Abeg wetin una want hear again? I don talk am say I no sabi give details o

Anyway he was very anxious that I had as much pleasure as he did. At this point I must confess something. This is the part Smaragd was anxious to know. I don’t even know how to say it sef peeps. Okay here it is…I have never come as in the mind blowing, body tingling orgasm. I haven’t experienced it like that. Maybe I have come but didn’t know I did but wait o, the way people describe it, I should know when I do abi?
In fact the thing tire me sha. Maybe I am the problem here. Maybe am not destined to ever know what it feels like to come. I think I was circumcised as a baby. Could that be the reason why?
Another confession, I even bought a vibrator recently and a CD titled-‘A female’s guide to multiple orgasms’ but for where, I tried all the techniques wey I see inside, no show.

Anyway to cut the long story short cos this post is getting wayyy too long and revealing. We did it. O and I. It was one of my best experiences so far but still I did not come. O wanted me to come before he did so he delayed his orgasm for long but when I couldn’t take it anylonger cos I was getting very sore and tired, I urged him to come. He wasn't too happy that he didn’t get me to come but I assured him it was okay but really it wasn't, I just wanted him to stop feeling bad.

Since that episode, things have been fine with us. We've been really chummy like stamp and letter. He hasn’t stopped showering me with attention and he assures me that things will only get better.

But will they? Will I ever come?

I bow o...

Una don put me for trouble o...

2008-06-30T09:03:00.000-07:00

THE DEED HAS BEEN DONE…
I was mistaken…maybe my hands deceived me or my eyes been no see well,lol…My friends, I must confess say wetin my eyes and ‘that part’ of my anatomy see enh… my mouth can’t fit talk,lol…

Infact to cut long story short, I no fit siddon well for now.

I dey come make I go buy Vaseline…

O too much...

O or X?

2008-06-27T02:53:00.000-07:00

Helloooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!
The truant is back!
Yes o, no be for only school na im person dey be truant o. I have given myself the title-“Ogbonge truant of Blogville”,lol…
First of all, let me apologize to those that haven’t seen me at their blogs. Really am truly sorry but you know the reason now…work! I dey try small sha to pop in once in a while but it’s not been easy I must confess. I hail those who are able to update everyday and check all the blogs cos e no easy ra ra…

Secondly, I’ll like to thank everyone who drops by to read and comment. I appreciate all of you and y’all make me look forward to coming here everytime.

Okay that done. Now to give u the latest gist.

O finally broke the silence by Monday evening. He sent a text asking how I was and all. I replied his text telling him I was doing fine and asking after his affairs too. A few minutes after I sent the text, he called. I guess he was probably waiting for the green light(my reply) lol…

We spoke at length. He apologized for blanking me out and I accepted his apologies. However, I told him I didn’t like his way of cutting me out each time we had an argument and he promised he was going to stop doing that.

So we made up.

I haven’t spoken about X for some time now and it’s not becos we haven’t been in touch. We have been seeing each other; you all know his office is just opposite mine so he comes in regularly to say hi. Then again we live in the same vicinity so he comes around to the house sometimes. I must admit that I haven’t been discouraging him. Truthfully, he has been exceptionally good to me. Really caring and all…it’s almost like we are back to the way we used to be.

Am sure peeps like Charizard and LG go don dey frown by now,lol…

Okay I confess, I have started liking X all over again o. Maybe its becos O has been acting sme-sme of late and X has been like the perfect boyfriend model. I don’t know if that’s the reason but I sha know I am liking the guy even though my likeness never reach the point wey I go dey accept im sexual advances,lol…

Sometime last week, X was in my house and my folks had all gone out. We were watching TV together when small time bobo come begin to dey rub my body and come dey try to kiss me. I put on this fierce face and told him to “Stop... I don’t want!” Then I moved over to another couch. The bobo didn’t like it but wetin im go do? True am feeling him but not to that level yet. Man must tread cautiously abeg and O still dey there sef.

Anyway some times when we are together and O calls. I see the look X gives me but I sha ignore him. Once, I got a text from O and as I was reading it, I forgot X was there and I was smiling this goofy smile. When I finish reading and looked up, X was looking at me with a funny look on his face. I asked him “What?” and he said “That was a guy’s text that is making you smile abi?” I didn’t reply.

Then I asked him a question.

“Are we back together, what are we really doing?”
He says. “Yes we are back together babe”
Am like, “How did that happen…you do remember I told you there was someone in my life?”
He goes. “Yes I do and now you mention it, we need to talk about it. I noticed you have been receiving phone calls from some guy and text messages too. I know you’ve said it before but I didn’t believe you. Now I want to hear it from you again. Do you have another guy?”
I look at his face and see the seriousness. “Yes I do, am seeing another guy”
He looks like he had just been slapped and I noticed he tries to pull himself together and give me that macho attitude that guys give.
“Okay so now we need to get this settled finally. You have been with me and now you are with this guy. I want you back, in fact I want to marry you but I don’t want to be the second guy in your life. It’s either me or that guy. I want you to choose now so we can sort this once and for all”

The last time this came up between X and I , I somehow got out of it, now this is looking really tight!

Most of you probbably think i should tell X off and stick with O but It's not that easy. I couldn't! At that point when X asked me to choose, I realized that I still feel something for him a lot of things flashed through my mind. I remembered when we used to date and how good and caring he always was. X always went out of his way to ensure i was happy. He never gave me attitude like O does sometimes. Even when I misbehave he is always quick to forgive and forget. Do I really want to give up X for O?

And then I remembered the last time I was with O. That was a day after we had made up over the phone. We hung out after work and he had apologized all over again, saying he was going to put in more effort to make our relationship work.
I had asked him the ultimate question most unserious guys hate to hear. “What do you want out of this relationship”. I didn’t mean to pressure him to say he wanted to marry me o, I just wanted to psych him up a little.
His response was: “I really care about you babe and want you in my life but I want us to take this one day at a time”

O wants to take things a day at a time.
X wants to marry me today today

What do I want?
I want to marry a man that I love and respect and who will love and respect me forever.

The question now is who will that man be? O or X.

O hasn’t proposed o and X seems to be getting impatient for an answer.

Una fit help me for this one?

Happy weekend everyone!

SILENT TREATMENT

2008-06-23T06:26:00.000-07:00

I’m truly sorry for leaving y’all hanging like hangers(lol) since the last time I posted. You know how it is with work and other stuff that take one’s time now ;). So am responsible for making you guys drink countless bottles of soda and lots of popcorn too?lol… Eh ya…and the ladies were supposed to be on a diet too…chineke! Aphro see what you’ve caused now,lol…they’ve all gone and added more pounds…oya I declare seven days fasting for all of you, that should take care of the excess weight,lol…

Okay on to serious matters now, am sorry to inform y’all that ur wait for the BIG DEED is over. No…I didn’t do it yet and may never will. In fact the truth is that we may never get to know how well small things can perform anymore:(
O and I may never work out!

By now am sure you are all wondering what am going on about.

Hold your breath. I’ll give you gist.

So last Wednesday-the last time I posted-when O came to pick me up for lunch from the office and I was so excited about it. Well, things didn’t work out as planned. Just as I was about rounding up the work I had at hand and gearing up to go ask for permission from my boss to take the rest of the day off. I got a call from one of our clients to attend to some urgent brief. There and then I knew there was no way I was running away from the office especially as there was no one to delegate the job to.

So there I was attending to the client’s brief and O was sitting opposite my desk leafing through some newspapers. He had this bored look on his face so I wasn’t surprised when he asked to leave so he could attend to some other stuffs. He said I should call him as soon as I was through with work so he could come pick me up. I thought it wasn’t a bad idea at least he would be utilizing his time better than just sitting there doing nothing in my office.

My people na so I come dey office dey attend to work o…time come dey go! I kept glancing at my watch miserably but there was nothing i could do...i was stuck!

You won’t believe that I was only able to round up my work by few minutes to 7pm. It was crazy! I felt so bad then I remembered I hadn’t called O as I promised. He also hadn’t called since he left.

So I called. As soon as he picked up I started apologizing, saying how sorry I was that my work had to spoil our plans and all. Then I asked where he was and if he could still make it down to my office. I felt we could still do dinner since lunch had been impossible. He said he was very far from my office and couldn’t come down so I said, “cool…no stress…I’d just go home then”
But then things didn't end there. O went on to say that he had taken the two days off (that day was the second day. He had come the previous day to my office but didn’t spend much time cos he was just coming from the hospital and said he needed to rest. I had had no qualms about it and urged him to go home) just because of me…because he wanted to spend some time with me and I didn’t have his time at all.

I replied that it wasn’t true cos the reason he had taken time off work was cos he was ill and not just cos he wanted to spend time with me.
I didn’t bargain for his outburst. He was really angry that I said that. According to him, I didn’t appreciate what he did by leaving his office for two days because of me and there I was telling him it was because of his illness. He ranted on while I was just wondering what the rant was all about. I felt he was taking everything too far so I mumbled “Issues…drama”. He stopped talking for a minute and asked “What did you just say?” I replied “I said "Issues…drama”

Before I go on friends, I must explain what I meant by that “issues…drama” statement. The thing is that we are always fighting over minor issues and I keep telling him that we have too much issues and drama in our very young relationship. So that was why as he went on about how I wasn’t appreciative and all, I mumbled “Issues…drama”. Get it now?

Okay so back to my gist. When I said what I said. He now grew even more angry and upset and went on this time about how am trying to push him away and succeeding. Then he said the one that hurt me the most “Maybe it because of the fact that a lot of guys are after you that’s why you are acting this way”. I felt there was absolutely no need for that statement but as is usual with me, when am angry I try not to say a word cos I could say something I’d regret later on. So after talking he was like “let me leave you cos I have nothing else to say to you” And I was like “Okay bye”. Then he said “is that all you have to say” and am like “what else do you want me to say? I have nothing to say” then he cut the line.

All these happened on Wednesday evening o

So later that night during happy hour. I called him. I wanted us to talk about the argument we had earlier and I was in the mood to apologize for everything even though I didn’t see what I said/did to deserve all his rant. So I called and it rang severally but he didn’t pick up. I wasn’t perturbed cos I thought he was probably asleep and wasn’t expecting my call.

The next morning, Thursday morning, I sent him a text:
“Hello Baby. How are you doing this morning? Feeling better? Called you last nite but you were probably fast asleep. Just wanna wish you a great day. Take care.”

I was hoping he’d have gotten over our argument the previous day and would reply my text but he didn’t. All day, my hands itched to dial his number but I suppressed the urge. I wanted to see if he would call. He didn't.

By Friday evening. I hadn’t received a call or text from him but I couldn’t suppress the urge to call him any longer so I dialed his number. It rang repeatedly and he didn’t pick up. I waited a while and dialed again. Same thing happened. He didn’t pick up. Now I was sure he was deliberately refusing to take my calls.

I was hurt. Why does he always act this way. We have a problem and instead of sorting it out, he decides to cut me off. This wasn’t the first time he’d be doing this and I was getting fed up!

Saturday morning. I woke up depressed and wanting to talk to him and get things sorted out once and for all but after unsuccessfully dialing his number and getting ‘number not available’, I decided to send another text:
“ Hmmm…u get mind o. I don’t know how u do it…carrying grudges for days. Anyway just wanted to talk but obviously u don’t want to. Take care”

It wasn’t until later in the day-towards evening that I got a reply from him:
“I’m not carrying any grudge. It’s just that I feel that no matter what I do, u don’t believe that I truly care for you. Your comment about drama and issues wasn’t nice too”

Shio! What is this guy talking about? Caring truly for me? Is not calling or taking my calls for three whole days, his own way of showing how much he truly cares for me? If that was what caring for someone meant then i don't want to be cared for o!

Anyway so I got his text but I didn’t reply it. It was obvious he was still angry about what transpired between us but then I wasn’t bothered anymore. He isn’t the only one who can do the silent treatment thing. I have decided am not going to call him and if this is the end of our relationship, so be it. I don’t even want a husband who I’ll be begging anytime we have a small argument.

I also want to be spoilt and pampered jare!

Just in case, you care to know. He hasn't called up till this moment.

Ramblings

2008-06-18T08:01:00.000-07:00

Hey people! How una dey? I hope y’all are bouncing fine, eh?
Okay I hear a loud yeaaaaaaaaaa, that’s very good.

Sorry I abandoned blogville for a few days. It’s been crazy with work meeen…e be like say this people no want make I blog o cos the rate with which the work dey pile up enh, my people una go pity me,lol…

So what’s been happening? Anybody slap any body? Anybody thief anybody boyfriend? Did afro get a tatoo or join the convent? Florida don open sex education school or did smaragd become an air-hostess yet?lol..

Don’t mind me, just fooling :)

So I know your ears are twitching for some gists.

Nothin much has been happening.

This time I mean it.

I haven’t sampled O’s ‘kini’ so I can’t tell you anything about it.

Hmmm…just remembered something.

Last weekend we were talking about stuff and somehow our gist drifted to sex.

O: Ehen…you know we still got unfinished business babe?
Me: What unfinished business?
O: You know what am saying girl…since that night…I haven’t stopped thinking about it…you know babe, I cant wait to show you the stuff am made of.

Wetin this bobo dey yarn? Which stuff? The one wey I know abi na another one?

Me: Plzzzz…stop blowing you trumpet…I’ll like to see for myself and not hear…lets wait till then”
O: Okay…okay I won’t talk about it…lets wait till then

Hmmm…the bobo fit get some hidden skills o. Make we dey see now

Eh ya…peeps I gotta run now. O is in my office waiting for me to round up work so we can go have lunch someplace. He didn’t go to work today cos he is not feeling well so I got him to myself all day. Hurrray!!!
What’s left is for me to convince Bossie that am not feeling too well too,…am not lying o…your girl’s got headache,lol…

I haven’t ever seen a movie on a weekday, hmmm…would be nice if I can do that today, don’t ya think so?

It’s weird. O is seated right in front of me and am typing away about him,lol…if only he knew!

God no go let am read this blog lai,lai

Peace out guys!

BIG thing no be Ultimate o!

2008-06-13T03:44:00.000-07:00

Hey y’all!
Your comments on my previous post are very much appreciated. Some of them cracked me up badly, some made me think hard. I confess when I was typing that post, I had almost made up my mind that O and I cannot work. I just didn’t see myself doing business with ‘small’things,lol…However after your enlightening comments, I have decided to give the ‘small thing’ the benefit of the doubt. Let’s see if small thing can do great things,lol… as they say small can also be mighty, right?

Afrobabe’s comment particularly got me thinking.

It was so true.

Sometimes BIG thing is not the best o. The pain can supercede the sweetness and then you end up feeling uncomfortable even days after the deed is done.
Maybe small thing isn’t so bad afterall, as long as it can hit the right spots and the guy is also good with his tongue and hands, things should be alright or what do you think?

I remember doing it with X and how painful and sore I usually was after each encounter. X is well endowed down there and has a way of going at it fast and rough. One of my friends I discussed it with then said he was f..king me and not making love to me. According to her theory, f..king is when a guy just goes at it for his own satisfaction instead of pleasuring his partner. I don’t know if she was right but one thing I knew for sure was I never came!

I hope am not spoiling any underage pikin o!

Two days ago, I met up with X for drinks after work.

We were talking about stuff generally when I blurted.
“You know all the time we made love when we were together, I never came?”
He looked stunned. After a few minutes of silence he spoke
“You never came…why?”
Staring at him unflinchingly, I continued
“You were always so rough, remember I used to complain then (at this point he nods his head) about how painful it was for me whenever we made love and how i used to dab my privates with hot water to soothe the soreness”
“But I thought I used to ask if you came and you said yes”
“Asked? You never did”
“Hmmm….”

So my peeps, you see BIG things are not always the ultimate.

I’ll give O’s small thing a chance

Hopefully, I won’t be disappointed.

Enjoy ur weekend everyone and don't do what i wouldn't do,lol...

I HATE SMALL THING!

2008-06-10T06:43:00.001-07:00

Hey friends!
What’s going on in blogsville? I know I have been out of touch for sometime now. I haven’t been able to check on some of your blogs cos I have been out of town. Had to go represent my company at a workshop in ABJ. You guys, be not deceived o, am not one big shot executive o,lol…I wish say my job responsibilities dey equal to the salary, by now man pikin for don dey drive hummer,lol…

Nothing much has been happening in my love life o, lol…I lie, so much has been happening joo.

Okay let me start from last Friday, the last time I posted.

O called me that night to say that we had to spend the whole of Saturday together cos he had missed me so much. I was only too happy to agree and so we fixed a date. He would come pick me from home and we would have a nice cosy time at the beach whispering sweet nothings in each other’s ears,lol…at least that was the plan until Saturday morning came with its serious downpour. It rained cats, dogs and elephants that Saturday morning and I knew our beach plan had been spoilt.

Later when the rain stopped, O came around. We couldn’t do the beach again so we settled for a movie at the cinema. The movie was a nice one, made better by the fact that I was there with O and we spent most of the time snuggling up and stealing kisses.lol…

Movie ended, we headed for home. It was quite late and the traffic was crazy because of the earlier downpour. Then I started to get the funny feeling, yea your girl started feeling horny o,lol…I really wanted O to take me there and then, it was crazy! I took his hand and snuck it under my top. He turned to look at me with a smug smile playing at the corner of his mouth. Then he started to fondle my nipples, mheen…the feelings were heightened, It took all my self control not to take off my top there and then. Then the traffic started moving and he had to remove his hands back to the steering. I was frustrated.

I hope some peeps are not thinking ‘This aphrodite is a rotten babe’ o! But what’s the essence of having a blog if I can’t say it as it is. You guys don’t go all holy holy on me now abeg.

Okay so back to my gist.
We soon got home and as he made to park in front of my house. We looked at each other and we both knew what the other was thinking. I wanted him, and he wanted me. At the end of my close is a mini-parking lot. That was where we headed.

As soon as he killed the engine, we were in each other’s arms, kissing and tearing away at our clothes.

Everything was going smoothly until I unzipped his trousers and put my hands inside his boxers. It wasn’t what I bargained for o…the thing was small...as in ssssssmall!
Mheen na so i weak o! How fine boy like dis, huge and nice physique go come get small 'kini' like this now?

I no go lie o, my interest just died down and I withdrew.

He turned to me, concern written all over his face.
“What is it baby?”
“Nothing, just that I don’t think we should be doing this here, the place and time is not right and I really have to get home now”
I hoped my disappointment was not showing on my face.

I think he suspects I wasn’t too happy with his ‘kini’ that night. Funny enough, since that evening, he has been unusually all over me, calling me, saying all the nice things I love to hear and sending sweet text messages but oddly, am not impressed anymore. I just keep remembering his small ‘kini’

The truth is that...

I DON’T LIKE SMALL THINGS!!!

Peeps do you think am being shallow?

Update Gist.

2008-06-06T03:12:00.000-07:00

“Babe are you enjoying the movie?”
X moved in to close the space between us and wrapped his arms around my shoulders.I felt he was too close for comfort and tried to pull myself away but he held on tightly.
“Yea, I am”
That was not particularly true cos I was yet to fully understand what the movie was all about. So far, it had seemed boring and I wasn’t really feeling the movie and the unpopular faces being paraded in it.
It was a Saturday and I was at a cinema with X. I had been too happy to accept his offer when he called to propose it cos I didn’t have anything better planned for the day and my other option would have been to stay in bed feeling blue over O’s recent attitude and wishing he would call.
So there I was with X in the cinema and he was trying to get all touchy feely and lovey dovey but I was trying to squirm out of his grip without making it so obvious.
I stared sideways at him and couldn’t help noticing the goofy grin on his face. He seemed so happy being with me there. I asked my self if I was happy to be there with him or was it just a welcome escape from a dreary day. I hadn’t arrived at an answer yet when he butted into my thoughts with a comment on the movie. I didn’t even hear what he said but nodded smiling as if I did.

I turned my attention back to the movie but yet again I couldn’t stop my thoughts from wandering. I thought of the woman at the body care shop. We had stopped over there to look around before we headed for the cinema. Coincidentally, X had known her from somewhere and they exchanged pleasantries like long-lost friends. X introduced me to her as ‘My woman’. I wasn’t sure I was comfortable bearing that tag just yet. I had bought a facial soap and promised the woman I’d be back some time in the future to buy the body shop oil perfume I liked.
I wondered what she would think if I sauntered into her shop at a later date with O cos this particular mall was one I visited with O at times. Of course she would expect me to be with X since he had given her the impression we were an item, a hot item at that. Would she think I was a loose girl who dated several men at the same time? What did I care really? I wondered.

The movie soon ended and I was grateful. I had seen better movies and this one didn’t cut it with me at all, something about a bank job(robbery). It was the same old, same old, nothing new there.

As we drove out of the mall, O asked if I wanted some ice-cream. We could head to a particular popular ice-cream joint, he offered. I wasn’t too keen on that cos I was on some kind of diet. Diet? Who was I kidding? I usually spoilt the diet soon after I started,lol…. I made a mental note in my head not to spoil this particular diet with my longthroat,lol..

So I declined and asked that we head home. I had an appointment with my tailor that evening so I might as well go see her. He said okay and we headed home.
As he dropped me off at my tailor’s, he made to kiss me. I still wasn’t ready to start exchanging mouth liquids with him just coupled with the fact that I was still technically with O and I was still kissing him(we are not shagging o). That is one thing with me, I can’t bring myself to kiss two guys at the same time talk less of shagging them both, am not just that type of girl!
So I turned my cheek for a peck, thanked him for the date and got down.

Sunday came.
I didn’t hear from O still and I wasn’t ready to hang out with X again. Two days in a row would just confirm that we were back together and I wasn’t sure about that yet so I prepared for a quiet day of lounging at home. I was lying in bed reading a novel when K’s call came in. God! I had practically forgotten he still existed. I picked the call and we yakked a lil’bit. How have you been and all that bla bla bla. Then he asked if we could see cos it had been a while and he wanted to talk to me. I didn’t bother asking him about what cos I already knew it won’t be on anything else than how much he loved me and wanted me to consider him and bla bla bla,lol..
Anyway I was in a low spirits cos of O and it wouldn’t be bad to have someone toast me and make me feel good about myself (Not fair on K, I know so hold on with the preaching guys). I spent the rest of the day with K, he took me to a buffet lunch at one popular hotel like that and I have to admit, I had fun although at a point I was thinking how it would have been much more fun if I was there with O and not K.

Through out our date, K kept asking me about my boyfriend. I kept saying which boyfriend? Did you dash me boyfriend? But he insisted that he knew I was in love with someone and I was dating this person. He made reference to those times he’d called my phone in the middle of the night only to discover I was talking with someone. I knew he was talking about O but I didn’t want to confirm anything so I just sat there and smiled all through.

Something else he said caught my attention. He said although he wanted to marry me, he wouldn’t kill himself if I gave him an invite to my wedding soon. He’d take it as one of those things but that it would hurt him terribly if it turned out to be X, I was getting married to(yea, they know themselves and there is some sort of rivalry btw them).
I laughed and asked him why marrying some other guy would hurt him less than me marrying X. He didn’t give me a cogent reason but I suspect it had something to do with X finally getting what he(K) didn’t get.

On to O.
I saw O for the first time in more than two weeks, yesterday.
I was at my desk working in my office, trying to finish a presentation I was working on before leaving for home when I saw his familiar figure at the door. How come the receptionist didn’t call to inform me he was here, I wondered. Plus I was looking really harassed and disheveled. If she had informed me, I could have applied powder and brushed my hair or something. I hadn’t seen him(O) for a while and I would have loved him to see me looking fab.
“There was no one out there so I let myself in” he said as he walked in.
I looked at the time, phew! It was after 5pm already, the receptionist must have left, she hardly waited for the official closing time before taking off. Probably to see her own bf, what my own sef?lol…

I didn’t know what to do. All at once so many emotions were conflicting in my head. Anger, Excitement, Sadness, Happiness, I just didn’t know what to feel exactly so I turned my attention to the computer monitor, my work suddenly seemed more interesting.
Then he came close, wrapped his arms around me and buried his head in my neck. I caught a whiff of his scent, Kouros, I had made him buy it, it was one perfume that almost always get me weak in the knees and that moment wasn’t an exception. Then he tuned my face and kissed my lips. I could already feel the throbbing down there and I needed him to stop before I gave myself away.

Anyway he stayed for a while and we talked.
He apologized for his recent attitude and told me the issues he had with his former bank had been sorted out.
I was silent for a while, then i asked. “Was it some other woman?” he shook his head.
“It was just work stress and the issues you had?” I questioned again. He nodded his head.

As we hugged and kissed before he left, I was in no doubt that I truly cared about this guy. Why is it that it’s the one we love that causes us so much heartache? Why can he be just as doting as K or X or Bobo Nice or BG? Maybe we don’t have a future together but one thing I know is this, I’m going to enjoy it while it lasts!

Have a great weekend y’all, love ya!

O's Issues

2008-06-03T07:35:00.000-07:00

These past few days, I have been tempted so many times to come online and update my blog but I wasn’t just able to find the time to do so. Things have just been crazy and I have been very busy.
So much has happened since I last posted and I can’t tell all with this post but I’ll try and update y’all as much as I can. Where do I start from now sef?

Okay, let me start with O.
I told you guys that he had called last week Monday to tell me he had a surprise for me. Well na so I dey dey wait for surprise o, monday passed.

Tuesday, I arrived the office to be told that my boss had called in sick and asked that I represent him at some event that day. I quickly discharged some of my duties and when it was time, I left for the event. Boss had said it was a Launching or something of the sort. I wondered what it was that they were launching. I didn’t realize he had meant Luncheon and I was the one who misunderstood him so I was delighted when I arrived the hotel where the event was scheduled to hold only to find that it was a buffet lunch organized by one of the media houses to appreciate those of us in the P.R sector. Who no like beta thing? Na so una sister just start to dig in o. I sampled almost everything that was on display and they all tasted really nice. I was still enjoying my meal when my phone started ringing and I glanced at it to find that it was O calling me. I quickly answered the call.

“hello baby, guess where…” I was still talking…the excitement in my voice, when he cut in.
“Aphrodite where are you??” I was surprised at the urgent tone in his voice. Wondering what was up, I replied “Am at P Hotel for a buffet”.
“Buffet?” he didn’t sound impressed. “Anyway I’m just coming from your office, I came with L to see you and was told you went out”. L was his elder sister.
“Eh…ya, you came with L and I missed seeing her…I had to come represent my boss at this luncheon…”
He didn’t let me finish. “So why didn’t you tell me you were going out?”.
I was shocked. Which kain question be dat one now? I couldn’t hold my tongue. “Why didn’t I tell you I was going out? So I have to tell you before I leave my office now or what?”
“What do you mean by that? No you don’t have to tell me anything, enjoy ur buffet, bye” and he cut the phone.
For a few seconds I just stared at my phone wondering what just happened.
Later, when I got back to the office. I called him back. I told him that I didn’t understand his anger since it wasn’t like he had told me that he was coming with L and I left the office without telling him. He insisted I shouldn’t have talked to him the way I did, telling him that I don’t have to tell him anytime I leave my office. I didn’t see what I said wrong and told him so. We argued a little while and when I realized that things were getting heated up I told him that I had to attend to some other issues and ended the call.

We didn’t speak again that day. He didn’t call and I didn’t call too.
Wednesday came, he didn’t call. I didn’t either.
Thursday still no word from O. I wasn’t going to call too. Remember I said I wasn’t going to push things anymore, so I chilled and played the silence game with him
Friday, three whole days and yet no word from him. WTF? I could understand him blanking me out for one day or two but three whole days?!! Which kain vexing be dat now? Then I started getting scared. I hope nothing had happened to him. Maybe he was sick or had an accident. Several thought were flying through my head. I couldn’t keep playing the silence game. I had to call to find out if he was okay. So I called.
“Hello, are you okay? Why haven’t I heard from you for three days now?”
His voice was low “I was upset with you…you scolded me”
WTF?!!!
“You were upset with me? That’s why you didn’t call? That is so childish and am very disappointed, well I just called to make sure you are okay and I can see you are so I guess we’ll talk later, bye bye”
I ended the call.
I didn’t know if I felt better or worse after calling him. He sounded so fickle telling me the reason he didn’t call me for three whole days was because he was upset with me. Upset for what? I didn’t know! Somehow, it opened my eyes a little. Those three days I didn’t hear from him were pure hell for me. I longed to hear his voice every minute and there he was telling me he didn’t call because of the little argument we had. I felt so sad. What that said to me was that probably we weren’t operating on the same frequency at all. My fears all this while were being confirmed gradually. It was pretty obvious now that he didn’t care about me as much as I did for him.

Anyway, later he called to tell me that he had said that to me then because he was somewhere then and he couldn’t talk at the time I had called. He said there were things he was dealing with and he would tell me about it later. I said okay and he dropped the phone.
I didn’t hear from him all through the rest of that Friday.
Saturday morning,i woke up with him on my mind. I hadnt seen him for almost two weeks now and was really missing him so I sent him a text.
“Are you pushing me away? Is that it? Tell me”
He didn’t reply immediately. Hours later, his reply came.
“Why would I push you away? There’s some stuff going on with me now. I know how you feel but don’t worry, I‘ll tell you everything”
There was nothing I could do except to wait for him to tell me what this thing that was coming between us was.

Later that evening he called and gave me some explanation on how he was having some issues at work, something that had happened at the previous bank where he used to work had come up again and it could threaten his job in his current bank if he didnt resolve it without their knowing. It sounded really serious and I got the feeling that he wasn’t telling me everything.
I didn’t know what to make of the whole situation. I mean, even if he was having problems, shouldn’t that be the more reason to call me and talk to me about it. I thought being in a relationship with someone you care about means having someone to share your joys and pains with.
So that’s the situation now guys. I hardly get to speak to him on the phone cos his phone is almost always switched off and it seems like ages since we last spoke at our usual happy hour(middle of the night).
I know I still care about him deeply but am not sure about ús and where all this is leading.
Will just wait it out, I guess.

I have to run now. Will be back to give you more gists on X and others. Sorry i havnt been able to visit all my blog pals, no be my fault abeg, na work abi if them sack me, una go employ me?

take care for now y'all!

No more pushing things abeg!

2008-05-27T03:06:00.000-07:00

One whole week since I last posted, phew! Am sure you guys can’t wait to hear the latest happenings in my love life. I can’t wait to spill the gist too but before I start, I’ll like to thank everyone who dropped a comment on my last post. Am so grateful to you all. It’s a wonderful feeling knowing there are people out there- people you have never met before who care as much as to give advice, a listening ear or a warm hug(even if its virtual). You guys are super cool.

Okay to my today’s gist.

You all know how I was confused last week cos it was like I was stuck in the middle of O and X and I had to make a decision on who to be with. Two bloggers comments on my last post gave me an insight as to how to progress with my situation. One was soupasexys’ where she advised me to just let things flow, play the two guys and see who makes it in the end. The other was naijachickito who felt that it wasn’t a do/die affair and I needed to take things easy and focus on being myself and have fun cos i may not end up with either guy at the end of the day.

I decided that I was going to just let things be. No pushing things. No worrying if O really loves me or not. No answers for X yet but I won't push him away like I was doing initially. I’ll just wait things out at least until am sure it was time to make a move.

So I chilled. I didn’t call any of them, neither O nor X. I just chilled and found other stuffs to amuse myself with. Even when the weekend came, I didn’t call O to find out if we were hooking up. I felt like if he wanted to see me, he would initiate the move, ask me for a date and all.
He called me on Saturday morning to say his bank was having some training that day and though he would have loved to spend the day with me, he couldn’t. Surprisingly, I took it calmly. I told myself not to feel bad and I called a couple of friends and we arranged to hang out on the island.

Thankfully, X didn’t call. I had promised to give him the answer to his question on Saturday and since I didn’t have any answer for him, my plan was to avoid him all weekend.

Sunday came, still no word from O as to whether we were seeing or something. I didn’t call either. Later on, in the afternoon he sent me a text saying how special I was to him and all that lovey dovey ish. Me I was getting fed up with his talk talk and no action so I just read the text and didn’t bother to reply it.

The rest of Sunday looked boring for me until I remembered Bobo Nice. He had called me during the last week to ask that we hang out during the weekend and I had promised to call him if I was free.

A brief background on Bobo Nice.

I met Bobo Nice in camp four years ago during my NYSC and since then we’ve been good friends. We hang out once in a while and he has never hidden the fact that he wants more than friendship with me. When we first met I was in a relationship so dating him was out of the question. A year later, I broke up with the guy I was dating then and Bobo Nice cashed into the opportunity to ask me for a more intimate relationship. I said No because I couldn’t imagine having a love relationship with him. He was my friend and that was it. I told him how I felt then and I thought he understood where I was coming from but last year, after one of our dates, he had told me how he loved me so much and how he wanted to settle down and had prayed about it and how he believed I was the woman for him and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and have me bear his kids.

Meeen, I was speechless. I didn’t know what to say. He asked that I think about it and he didn’t want me to give him an answer immediately so I promised that I would but sincerely my peeps, I have thought about it a lot and though Bobo Nice is a great guy, very reserved and God fearing, not into women(he had confessed to me that for three years now, he hadn’t been with a woman not because he didn’t have urges but because he had promised God that the next woman he would be with would be his wife), he has a great job and a promising career. The truth remains that I am not sexually attracted to him. Don’t get me wrong, am not a sex freak but I believe that I need to sexually desire a man I intend to marry, correct me if am wrong abeg my friends but that’s how I feel.

Bobo Nice is not bad looking, infact some people may even call him handsome but when I look at him, I can’t picture myself in his arms or kissing him or making love to him. I just see him as my friend and nothing more. My heart doesn’t do a flip when he looks at me like it does for O. Anyway, I think that’s enough background on Bobo Nice already.

So that Sunday afternoon, I called Bobo Nice. I needed to get my mind off O and try to have fun. Fortunately, Bobo Nice was in my area so we met up at a bar for some drinks. The music at the bar was nice and I had fun. It was a welcome distraction for me and I enjoyed myself.

Later as I was saying goodnight to Bobo Nice. He brought up the marriage issue again and told me that he had been praying about it seriously and it was revealed to him in a dream that there were three men who were strong contenders in my mind and I was confused as to who to choose among them. I told him that his dream was wrong cos they were more than 3 guys asking for my hand in marriage. He insisted that they may be more than 3 but the dream revealed that three of them were at the forefront. If I tell you guys, I wasn’t shocked, I’d be lying but I tried to cover up my shock and laughed at his dream. When he left, I thought more about what he had told me. Who were these 3 guys? There was O, X, K, B.G and Bobo Nice. Now that was 5 abi? Anyway dreams can be funny at times

Later, Sunday night O called to apologise for not seeing me all weekend. He said he had to go to the office too on Sunday. I told him I was getting used to his excuses now and it didn’t bother me too much anymore. He kept apologizing and said he had a surprise for me-something I would love very much. I wasn’t excited at all and i just told him, I’ll wait and see what it was.

Monday afternoon, X showed up in my office. He had been out of Lagos on an official assignment and just returned which was why i didnt hear from him all weekend.
He asked me out to lunch and I accepted. I was dreading the moment when he would ask me for an answer to his last week question but thank God, he didn’t even bring up the subject. We had a pleasant lunch and later in the evening after close of work, he dropped me off at home. As I was getting out of his car, he made to kiss me on the lips but I turned my cheek. Men! They don’t waste any time. For now, a peck is as far as I’ll let him go.

There, that’s a recap of all that’s been happening. I’ll be back with some more gists soon. Feel free to leave your comments without bias. I love reading them.

Toodles,

Aphrodite.

Stuck in the middle of O and X

2008-05-20T04:44:00.000-07:00

So I have been gone for a while. Am sorry guys but duty called and blogging does not put food on my table:), a girl's gat to work for her pay, right?

Anyway, lots have been happening o, I don’t even know where to start from. I must warn you all at this point that this post promises to be a long one o! So grab a snack, sit back and relax as I nack una tory,lol…

Those that have been following my gist know who O and Mr. X are. For those who don’t know, O is my current bobo while Mr. X as his name sounds is my ex-boyfriend.

Some weeks back, I blogged about how Mr. X was staging a serious comeback into my life and proposing marriage.
Well I ‘ll take my gist back to weeks back too. Mr. X had called me that evening to say he was at my house gate and I should come and open the gate for him. I had told him to stop visiting my home so I don’t send the wrong signals to my folks. Knowing my mum, it wont be long before she started asking if we were back together and i was yet to bring O home cos I didn’t know what their reaction would be since he wasn’t Ibo.

So that evening when X came calling, I was in a sour mood. I had been expecting O’s call all day to no avail so I was kinda pissed before X called to say he was at my gate. He wasn’t the one I wanted to see so I snappily told him that he had come at the wrong time and I was sleeping. He wasn’t going to go back so easily without seeing me so he kept pleading that I come down even for 5 mins so he could see my face. I was getting really annoyed at his insistence and when he said “Please honey, just come down so I can give you a kiss before before I leave”, I couldn’t help retorting “Kiss? I have told you to stop deceiving urself, I am not ur girlfriend so stop acting like I am, if you insist on carrying in this way, I’ll have to stop answering ur calls. I am sleeping so just go!”.
I said some more rude stuff to him so I wasn’t surprised when his tone grew angry and he told me that he didn’t like the way I talked to him. He was being nice and caring to me while I always treated him like shit. He was saying “Aphrodite, what do you mean by you will stop taking my calls, you have to mind the things you say to me…” I didn’t wait to listen to the rest of his tirade, I ended the call. Rude… I know…I wanted to be rude.

A while later when i thought about what had happened, I felt remorse at the attitude I had given him and all because of O who didn’t even call me much less visiting. I felt like calling him-X to apologize but I decided to leave things till the following day.

I didn’t call the next day. Two days later, I called him. I thought he was probably still mad at our exchange the last time so I was surprised when I called and he sounded really calm and sweet like nothing happened. He even told me he had wanted to visit me at work that day but couldn’t because of work pressure at his office. When I said I was sorry about how I dropped the phone on him during our last conversation, he quickly accepted my apologies and said that it was okay. He obviously didn’t expect that I would call to apologise so it had come as a surprise to him. Before we ended the conversation, he told me he wasn’t feeling very well and wanted to go to the hospital the next day.

Fast forward to days later, X hadn’t called me unlike him so I called to find out if he was okay.(Guys, I remembered ur advice on how I should not close the door totally on X till I was sure of things with O). It turned out that since the last time we spoke, his sickness had gotten worse and he hadn’t even been going to work. Well, I kept calling each day to check up on him but I realised that he was getting the impression that my calls meant that I had accepted him back into my life cos he kept saying things like- “Come down to the house and prepare Ukwa(an ibo delicacy) for me” or “I was expecting that you would visit after work today”.
He was ill and I didn’t want us to get into any argument so I always replied that I was very busy in the office and couldn’t come.

Meanwhile things with O were going on well although I was feeling that he wasn’t paying me enough attention. He wasn’t calling as often as I would have liked and when I complained that I was feeling neglected, he always apologised and explained that he was caught up with stuff at the office. It was during that period, I wrote my previous post on how I needed some reassurance that he really cared about me the way I did for him.

This gist is getting too long sha. I better get to summarizing sharpish.

Last weekend, I didn’t see O. He had to work Saturday(told you guys some time ago that he is a banker). He had promised to see me after his work that day only to call back and tell me that his car had developed a problem and he wouldn’t be able to make it down as agreed. I told him it was okay although I really wanted to see him. I had even made a new hairdo that day and wanted him to see it. Too bad.

Sunday came and O called to say his car was still bad. Something about overheating and a leaking radiator. He couldn’t drive it until his mechanic had a look at it which wouldn’t be until Monday. I resigned myself to not seeing him again and went out to visit my cousin who had just given birth to a baby girl.

When I returned, X called to say he was around my neighbourhood and wanted to see me. I told him to wait outside my house and went down to meet him. We took a walk down to this cool spot where we used to go in the old days when we were still an item. Then we would go there, sit on the huge stones and gist for long periods.
So that Sunday evening, we went there. It was the first time we would be going there since our break-up more than a year ago. I felt we needed to talk. He needed to understand that my show of concern during his illness was just that-a show of concern from a friend- and didn’t signify that we were back together or that I had broken off my relationship with O although he had never accepted the fact that I was in a relationship anyway.

So I brought up the issue. I told him not to misinterpret my actions during his illness. He laughed as if I had said the funniest thing in the world. He said I was his and that no man could take me away from him. He insisted I wasn’t dating anyone and was only telling him that to make him jealous. Even after showing him some of O’s text messages on my phone, he still refused to acknowledge him. We talked for hours, him pleading that we should start afresh and me insisting I couldn’t just end my relationship with my boyfriend cos he asked it.
I asked him “Why didn’t you just stay out of my life? Why did you have to come back and make things complicated for me?”
I wasn’t prepared for his reply. “Seriously now, do you really want me to leave you? Should I stop coming around you and just forget you?”
Meeen…this was the point where I needed to stamp my foot on the ground and say a very solid YES! But guess what people, I was tongue tied. I didn’t know what to say. His question was very serious and he sounded very final about it like if I just say yes, he would leave and never bother me again. I wasn’t too sure if that was what I really wanted anymore. These past weeks, he had been really loving, bringing back memories of how good we were together. Unlike O, he really showers me with attention the way I like not to forget that he is Ibo and catholic like me. My folks like him and am not sure if they would accept O.
All these were thoughts racing through my mind as I sat there. He was looking at me, waiting for an answer to his question then he asked again. “Do you want me to leave you alone? If that’s what you want, then I will cos I don’t want you mentioning another guy again after today”
I looked into his face and I knew he meant every word he was saying.
“Can I give you an answer when next we see?”
“No, i need an answer now”
“I said I’ll give you an answer when next we see”
“And when will that be? Tomorrow?”
“No not tomorrow…next Saturday, I’ll definitely have an answer for you by then”

That’s it friends. I still haven’t decided what to do next. I have two options before me.
One, accept X back and leave O or Two, tell X to go to hell and stick with O.

I should also add that yesterday-Monday, O surprised me by showing up very early in my office. He said he had some official errand to run in the area and wanted to use that opportunity to see me since he had missed me so much. I was very happy. It’s the little things like that bring the smile to my face. Later on in the day, I was chatting with O online and brought up the issue of my ex. I told him X wanted us to get back together and I needed to know exactly how he felt about me cos sometimes I am not so sure if his feelings for me are really strong and not just some fickle infatuation cos i've got a pretty face and a nice body.
I wanted to hear him say how much he loved me and how it would break his heart if I left him for some other guy and how he would give me more attention from now on.
He didn’t say any of that. Instead he asked me what I wanted to do. His question was: “So do you want to go back with ur ex?” I replied “No but I need to know that you will be there for me always”.
His reply was that he was the one who wasnt sure of me and my feelings for him.
Later that night, he sent me a text message that read- “I feel like I have already lost you”.

Guys I have to stop here now cos if una leave me I go just dey yarn dey go.
I need your sincere advice everyone.

2008-05-13T03:13:00.001-07:00

When you are in love…
You want to be with that person,
Talk to him all the time
Hear him say all the sweet nothings to you
Give all you got to make him happy
Cup his chin, plant your lips on his and kiss him till God’s kingdom comes (lol)
You want to wrap your arms around him in public and let the world know that he is yours.

I want to do all the above and more with O
So can I say am in love ?

Thing is, I get confused at times.

Like, am I really sure what I feel is Love?
Am I crazy about him cos of his height?
Or his huge biceps and the fact that he can lift me up effortlessly?
Or cos of his sweet shy smile?
Or the way he calls my name that makes my heart beat faster?

How do I know am not just infatuated?
And that this feeling I feel for him will not fade away soon?

How can I be sure he truly loves me?
And will never let me down…
leave me or break my heart?

Sometimes I wonder if he really cares.
If he sincerely means what his mouth professes.

I am scared cos I don’t want to end up heart broken.
So I hold on…
I hold on to a part of my heart
Not fully letting go
Vulnerability is not my style
I hate the feeling of helplessness I feel sometimes
The feeling that someone’s got a hold over your emotions
And can make you very happy
And extremely sad at the same time.

I think about him every idle moment
And can’t help but wonder if he thinks about me too
Or only does so when am around him
And when am not, does he conveniently leaves me out of his mind?

A girl needs some reassurance…
I need to be assured.

...............................................................................................................................................

APHRODITE'S SIX QUIRKY THINGS

I was tagged to do this post by uzezi, jarrai and simplegal.

I love to sleep especially when am depressed. Somehow things seem better when I wake up.

Unlike other people who probably take their bath before retiring for the night, I prefer to sleep than wake up in the middle of the night like 1am to take my bath before going back to bed for the second round of sleep

I collect odd things like nylon bags, empty tins, used bottles and other funny stuff. My mum thinks it’s crazy, maybe it is.

I am most comfortable in my underwear. When I come back home, the first thing I do is to undress. Nothing makes me happier than lounging in my panties and bra.

I love to think in the bathroom. When I have something very serious to figure out, I find it easier to do while bathing. Maybe the water pouring down my head helps me think more clearly

I love eating at odd times, like waking up in the middle of the night for some cereal or biscuits. I know its really bad and am trying to stop.’

That’s it…Six finally!

I tag anyone who wants to be tagged.

Tumbo, Tumbo

2008-05-05T04:57:00.000-07:00

I am still here. I haven’t relocated to Mars yet or is it Venus since am the girl in search of love, that should be the planet for me…don’t you think? lol.

Anyway, it’s been a while. I have been caught up in los of stuffs but I just had to find the time to update my blog. This blogging thing is not as easy as I thought initially but don’t worry guys, I aint giving up yet.

So O and I are still cool just that recently am discovering each day that if I have to pitch my tent with him for life, I have to be ready to accept the fact that I won’t be getting pampered the way I like. With O, I am the one that has to do the pampering. He always needs some sort of reassurance that I truly care for him. I have told him to stop being insecure but I don’t blame him too much, dude knows that there are lots of other guys hanging around and ready to take over his position if he f…ks up.

I care about him. I am sure of that but I also know I want a man who will dote on me and worry himself to death if I even as much as have the slightest of headaches. That’s K for you but unfortunately I don’t love K like he does me. Too bad.

Talking about Mr. X. He has really been outdoing himself these days. Calling regularly to check up on me, bringing me lunch at work (remember I told you his office is opposite mine) and some other loving stuffs. He says he is not giving up till I forget what happened and give him another chance.

Now to what happened that led to our breakup…I have shared this with my mum and a few close friends and most of them believe that what happened wasn’t enough for me to break up with X.
Actually, what happened is this-I had found out he had something with this other girl. He denied it but I found out that he was lying to me. I called the girl under the guise of being X’s sister and she opened up to me. When I confronted X with my discovery, he insisted that she wasn’t anything serious but then I didn’t trust him anymore so I ended the relationship. I must say this, I am a very jealous lover. I cant stand to share my man with anybody. If I am being faithful to you, I demand that same loyalty from you, finito.

A few days ago, I was discussing X’s comeback with an older male friend of mine and he said to me that sometimes people lie to those they love because they are either scared of hurting them or losing them. He went on to tell me that X may have lied about what happened then cos he was scared of how I would react.
Anyway, the long and short of the matter here is that most peole I have talked to believe that X is a perfect match for me-he is catholic, Ibo and loves me- three necessary criteria for my parent’s approval. Unfortunately O is not catholic, he is from Edo (although he can be said to be part-ibo cos his mum is Ibo) and I feel he loves me but I still see my folks giving me a hard time over him.

More gists o…

I spoke to O’s mum over the phone. We were talking; O and I when he suddenly told me that someone wanted to speak to me. I didn’t expect that it would be his mother. She sounded very nice and warm, said she had heard a lot about me, asked about my family and told me that her younger sister’s husband was from my place. Before she dropped the line she said I should take care of O very well. I replied that it was his duty to take care of me to which her response was that she was sure he was already doing that.
I don’t know but her saying that to me seems like she really approves of the relationship between me and her son or what do you think guys?

And O told me that she wants to meet me.

I don’t know if I should meet her. Isn’t it too early especially with this new developments with X?

Something very funny happened recently.
My mum called me and expressed her concerns over the fact that I haven’t ‘brought the man home finally’. She felt that I was getting confused so she had come up with this brilliant idea (according to her). I was supposed to give her the names of all the guys proposing to me which I did. She wrote out their names on little pieces of paper and folded them then she asked me to pick one of the tiny folded pieces of paper.
It was ridiculous, you know picking my husband out like that, but I went ahead with it just to humour her.
Guess what…I picked Mr. X’s name!
My mum happily announced prophetically to me that X was my destined husband and the sooner I realized it the better.
I don’t agree with the way she went about it-the inny minny maany mo style(tumbo, tumbo) and I’ll like to know what you all think.
That’s it for now guys.

Will do my blog rounds now.

Stay away Ex!

2008-04-23T06:06:00.000-07:00

Hello peeps!
Whats da dilly yo?
In naija speak, How una dey?

I ope say every body dey chill like ice water(lol).

Well me, am chilling very welll o! things couldnt be better with O. in fact last night during our usual midnight chat time, I asked him:
"O, do you love me?"
Dont mind me o, he has told me several times but i just love asking, women sef!
And he replied
"Aphrodite, i love you so much it hurts"
Oh my Gawd...I was so moved and happy when he said it that i replied
"I love you too"
Guys, this would be the first time i am saying those words to him. I find it hard to say those words to any guy cos i belive love is not something to be played with anyhow and used in every sentence if you aint sure about your feelings.
So i said it to him and held my breath.
Funny, he held his breath too.
The silence was very thick, you could slice through it.
Then he spoke
"I dont know what to say, i am speechless...i am so happy...i dont think i 'll ever forget this day"
I laughed, trying to lighten the mood
"Abeg try to forget it o, its no big deal"
Who was i kidding? It was a big deal and I felt on top of the moon jare, but you know now, a girl's got to be a girl(lol).

On Mr. X, the bobo has been outdoing himself of late o. Acting all nice and everything. The guy is almost making me believe that he has changed for the better. Even warming himself back into the hearts of my family. You know we were very serious before so everyone in my family knows him.
Anyway, today he came to my office as usual to say hi and as he was leaving, he asked me to kiss him. Mhen! this guy get liver o. Kiss ke? i said no and it was almost becoming a mini-struggle till i pushed him away and told him.
"Seriously we need to talk...i dont understand what you want, coming back and being all over me like this, i already told you i have someone else"
He replied
"Honey, I have told you that you're my wife and no one can take you away from me"
" I am not your wife!" i told him with a stern look.

Truth is, i still have a soft spot for him. He knows this and is trying to take advantage of it. maybe if O wasnt on the scene, i may have reconsidered him but now with O around, i dont think there is space for him in my heart again. The best we can be is friends.

Do i sound like am trying to convince myself?
I hope not.
Why didnt he just stay out of my life!

The latest gist on K.
This dude has now formed a habit of flashing me in the middle of the night(during my chats with O). He just keeps flashing and flashing. Initially, I didnt know it was him. i was wondering who the idiot was that would stay up at night flashing someone with unknown number. It just seemed crazy!
Anyway, a few days ago, K called me and while talking he blurted:
"Who is this person that you are always talking with in the middle of the night instead of sleeping?"
I was shocked.
"So it is you thats always flashing me at night? You too why dont you sleep...why do you have to stay up flashing me?"
He wasnt even ashamed. He kept on lamenting on how i dont call him even during the day and i stay up chatting with some guy on the phone till the wee hours of the morning. When i was tired of his rambling, i told him to stop giving himself hypertension. Missing his sleep and staying awake to flash me in the middle of the night. I mean, how pathetic can one get??

He still flashed last night sha.

Back to normal

2008-04-18T04:10:00.001-07:00

Hello peeps.
Am good, I hope you all are.
Forgive my ranting on my last post. I typed that post when I was in a very bad mood feeling that O was not being honest with me.
For those who didn’t understand what I was going on about. It was me and O again. We had had a misunderstanding over his ex calling him while we were chatting on the phone and he putting me on hold just to answer her. I guess I overreacted a bit and didn’t see things from his own angle but thank God, everything has been resolved now and we are back to our lovey-dovey selves again, lol! I must admit I gave the guy small tough time these few days o, next time am sure he’ll think twice before doing anything that’d question his loyalty to me.

So that resolved, what else has been happening with me?

Yea I know, I promised to talk about Bobo Nice but I prefer to gist about Mr. X today.

Mr. X as his name sounds is my ex-boyfriend before B.G.We dated for about a year and five months until I decided to end the relationship cos i was fed up with his cheating/lying ass.

We had been very serious, even talking marriage before I ended it all. Am like that, once I make up my mind about something, I usually follow it through damning the consequences.

So I told him that we were through and I was moving on. He didn’t believe me then and thought I was joking and would come running back into his arms after a few weeks but it didn’t happen.

B.G was there. We were friends then and after I broke if off with Mr.X, he gently warmed himself into my heart(Men!) and before you could say relationship, we began one. I confess, for me, I just needed to forget about my ex so it was a welcome distraction and I must say, it really helped me get over my ex very easily. I knew I had entered the relationship for the wrong reasons and it was only a matter of time before the cracks began to show and they did later on.

Anyway, that’s not what I want to yarn about-the cracks in my relationship with B.G I mean.

The main gist is that now Mr. X is trying to stage a comeback into my life. What did he think? That I was alone this past year waiting for him to return and take his place in my life,lol! he must be the biggest joke if that’s the case!

I have told him that there is no space for him in my life anymore and I am in a relationship with a guy I care about and who cares about me but my guy no dey gree hear word o! He keeps saying he doesn’t care about any other person and that I am his ‘woman for life’, imagine!

We only just recently began to talk to each other. For sometime since we broke up last year, we have been ‘Hi, Hi’ friends but I thought we weren’t enemies so why behave coldly and all so I started to give him a smile anytime we crossed paths and I think he now feels that because of that he has an opportunity to waltz back into my life like he never left.

The other day, I was in my office when he strolled in. (His office is just opposite mine). I was with one of my male colleagues discussing a client’s brief when he(my ex) shows up. He walked straight to where we were seated and makes to give me a peck on my cheek. I quickly ducked my head to avoid the peck. It was embarrassing, I know but I didn’t want him giving my colleagues the wrong impression which I noticed he had being trying to do of late. Calling me ‘baby’ in front of everyone and all that ish. I also notice the looks my colleagues give me when ever he comes and starts acting like I was his girlfriend. They probably wonder if we are back together or something and I am determined to let them see the true picture of things.

So that day, I ducked my head and he looked very embarrassed. He now asked me to give him a few minutes outside, that he wanted to talk to me.
I went with him and guess what…he started complaining. Guys can you believe it…he started to complain,lol!
“Why did you have to treat me the way you just did inside, in the presence of your colleague?”
See this guy o! Just because I extended a hand, he now wants to grab the whole arm. I retorted sharply:
“Please do not try that stunt again…what impression are you trying to give my colleagues…and do you realize that’s an office, you cant come in trying to kiss me in there and i have told you, i am not your girlfriend, stop giving people the impression that i am!”

“You are my woman for life, nobody can take you away from me” he replied.

“Me…your woman? Please get this straight…I am not your woman!”

Somebody needs to tell this guy that I am not into him anymore. There is O who I am just starting up things with and I don’t intend for him to spoil things for me abegi!

Go be with her and leave me alone!!!

2008-04-14T03:19:00.000-07:00

WHY ARE MEN LIKE THIS?!!!!
CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHY MEN LIE??!!!!

They always say babes are deceitful, liars and all that but they are the ones who are full of lies!
A girl decides to give her heart and everything to a man yet he still lies and cheats on her, it’s just not fair!

Why am I ranting?
It’s because right now, am hurting, am hurting badly.

I have been as honest as I could and he hasn’t.
I don’t have enough proof that he has been cheating
but I think what I have is enough to conclude that he hasn’t been totally honest.

He claims he loves me, he is crazy about me, and he can’t do without me
But I don’t believe it!

I knew he had a girlfriend before he met me.
Yes he told me.
I also wasn’t single, you guys know that.
There was B.G.
I wasn’t in love with him no doubt but we were in a relationship.
We were shagging and doing all the stuffs lovers did until I decided I didn’t want to continue living a lie.
Giving him my body but not my heart.
So I stopped.

We didn’t know things were going to get serious.
We didn’t plan for it but it happened
We got more involved and committed
Our other partners had to be cut off
He said he had broken it off with her-his girlfriend
I believed him.
I also told B.G how things were
Although till now, he refuses to accept it.

Now it turns out he may have been lying
He may just have been playing with my feelings
How else do you explain this:

We were chatting on the phone in the middle of the night as usual
Suddenly he puts me on hold
I am surprised, what’s happening? I ask myself
I couldn’t hold no any longer so I ended the call and called back
Three times it rang, three times he didn’t pick it
It was on ‘call waiting’
He was on another call.
Upset, I gave up trying.
Then he calls me minutes later to tell me
It was a mixup
Mixup my ass!!!
I insist he has to explain what that meant
Finally he tells me, it was her, his ex
She had called, she was crying, pleading with him to take her back
Yeah right! So you had to put me on hold for that? Without the courtesy of even telling me to hold on?
And when I called thrice you didn’t pick till you were done talking with her
What did you tell her?
That I meant nothing to you?

It obvious she means more than I do to you
So stop calling my phone to say sorry
Go be with your girlfriend and leave me alone!
Am tired of ur lying ass!!!

Why cant we stop arguing?

2008-04-08T03:04:00.000-07:00

Hey peeps!
Whassup?
I know I have been MIA for a while now. Its just that there hasn’t been anything much to blog about. I have been keeping things on the low for a while coupled with the fact that yours truly was down with the most common illness in Naija-Malaria!

I am getting better now, although not fully recovered but it is well, No fear.

Things with O are okay except for the fact that it’s like recently we are almost arguing over everything…even the silliest things. I guess as emotions get more involved even the littlest things begin to seem important. Like for instance, he drops me off after a date and I fail to call him later to find out if he got home safe and he takes offence or I tell him I don’t feel well and I expect that he’ll come down to my office to find out how am doing but he says he’s very busy and cant make it to see me, then I take offence.

You know, silly things really but we now start arguing and next thing we are angry, we end the conversation(usually on the phone) and the rest of the day is spoilt for me. Anytime we have our tiffs, am always miserable and he says it’s the same for him too. Why can’t we just stop these fights then? It beats me. One minute we are apologizing to each other and promising not to make each other mad again and the next we are back to arguing again. I admit i am spoilt when it comes to relationships. I have always been in relationships where I am doted on and pampered but O doesn’t really do all those doting and pampering sturves which gets me all sulky and moody.

Maybe like uzezi and oluwadee said, its better to be with a man who loves you more than you do him but then again I want to also be crazily in love with my man. I guess being in love goes hand in hand with the heart aches too. Maybe I just have to get used to it.

As I type this post, O and I are not talking and its killing me. I want to call him and hear his voice but then again I want him to call me first and apologize for making me sad. Why is love so complicated, why?

To other matters,
I haven’t seen B.G since the last time but we still communicate over the phone. He seems to have gotten over our last discussion and still believes that god will bring us back together. He tells me he is praying over things and he has handed it over to God.

K is still there as always…never giving up. He seems to be getting the message better now cos he has been telling me that he feels I am in love with someone else from my attitude. I affirmed it hoping he would finally leave me alone but whosai…dude is even more determined than ever to win my heart.

Then there is Bobo Nice. I haven’t had time to talk about him yet. I’ll probably do that in my next post.
I have to go now peeps.
See you around!

The talk with B.G

2008-03-31T03:55:00.000-07:00

Okay so I said I was going to give you all the gist of how it went with B.G and me.
Here goes…

We went out on that Easter Monday. Had lunch at some nice place and talked a little over lunch about matters generally…nothing about us as in our relationship and all. It was as if we were both scared of bringing it up and one was waiting for the other to do so. I didn’t want to spoil the lunch so I didn’t broach the topic.

Later on, on our homeward drive. I thought it was time so I blurted:
“You know we have been drifting apart these past few weeks?”
It sounded more like a statement than a question.
He turned to look at me and nodded, “Yea…and I don’t like it”
He went on to tell me how he wanted things to get better with us and how he felt it was time to take our relationship to the next level-marriage.
Whoops! I felt really awful. Here I was preparing to break it off with him while he was making plans to propose…it just didn’t feel right!
I didn’t know what to say and after thinking about the situation for a while, I had to ask him this question:
“If you are in a relationship with one person and having deep feelings for another, do you really love the person you are dating?”
He didn’t need a soothsayer to spell out the direction I was headed. He had this very sad look in his eyes as he asked “So what you are saying is that you have deep feelings for some other guy?”
I didn’t answer but my silence confirmed the question.

Anyway, not to bore you with the details, I had to tell him about O and how I felt about him. He was broken. I couldn’t help but feel terrible and guilty. I never want to feel that way ever again. I think I learnt a lesson with B.G- never again will I start a relationship with a guy who am not sure of my feelings for.
I must give it to him though, he acted very gentlemanly about every thing even saying that since he claimed to love me, he should be more concerned about my happiness and if I found this with someone else, who was he to come between me and my happiness. I could tell he was trying terribly hard to sound casual about it but it was killing him inside and it didn’t help the way I felt.

I almost toldl him I was sorry about what I said earlier and didn’t mean any of it but I knew that would be like the biggest lie and I would just be saying it just to take back the pain I was causing him and would it really help matters at the long run? It wouldn’t...so I held back.

The truth is that even if O had not arrived on the scene. The breakup was something that was bound to happen. I had long realized that I wasn’t in love and was just hanging in the relationship because first I didn’t want to hurt B.G and secondly I thought maybe I wasn’t destined to feel that rush(you know the one you feel when you are really into someone) again and maybe i was just being childish thinking I had to feel it before I take the plunge into marriage. Well, all that doubts subsided when I met O. He made me realize (not intentionally) that I could marry B.G or K or any of the guys asking for my hand and later on in the marriage meet some guy that I feel something more for and then realize that I had made the biggest mistake of my life going into the marriage. or even worse, I may begin to resent the husband I married because I’ll feel trapped in the marriage or something. Understand me guys?

So that was how our date ended. He feeling disappointed and hurt and me feeling horrible and guilty.

It’s been a week now since then and I have called him a couple of times just to see how he is doing. He is taking it really badly…he feels I betrayed him. I also feel horrible and I wonder if this thing with O is really worth all the heart ache and stress I’m causing B.G.

What do you think peeps?

Easter Runs

2008-03-26T01:31:00.000-07:00

Hello peeps!
Hope you had a fabulous Easter celebration?
For me it was a great one well not counting the fact that I actually hurt two people this period. It wasn’t deliberate though just stuff that had to happen with the way things have been going in my love life lately.

Okay am going to start with K first.
K’s mum returned to Nigeria last Friday (Good Friday). She had been in the U.S these past few years. K had informed me like weeks back that his mum was coming back to the country and asked that I accompany him to the airport to receive her when she arrived. Knowing K as well as I do and the fact that he tells everyone he knows about me and how he wants to marry me and all that , I knew he probably had said as much or even more to his mum. I didn’t want to go with him to the airport to receive his mum cos that would be like affirming or giving the poor woman the impression that I was indeed her daughter-in-law to be so I declined going with him. He felt very bad and sad that I refused but there was nothing he could do about it, no amount of cajoling was going to make me change my mind.

Later on in the day, after Good Friday mass(we attend the same church), we went to have dinner someplace and he was almost crying as he told me how he just realized how much I hated him and all. He said the fact that refused to accompany him to the airport earlier in the day to receive his mum was indication that I didn’t have serious plans(as in marriage plans) for him which is true by the way. He practically begged me to give him a chance to love me seeing as he has been patient for more than 2 years now waiting for the day I’d agree to an intimate relationship with him. I must confess I felt really bad seeing a grown ass man like K almost groveling at my feet just for a chance to expend the contents of his heart and pocket(lol) on me. Anyway I still maintain my stand that PITY can never be the same as LOVE, right?

Really I must give it to K though. The guy has shown his love in many ways than one. I mean, there is no doubt that dude is madly in love with me but it’s so sad that its not a mutual feeling. I remember when I first met him. I was always very sick then. It was either malaria and/or typhoid fever(at least that’s what the doctors said). It got so bad that even close friends of mine were even scared I had something, probably AIDS,lol! Anyway the point is that K was with me through that period, taking me to the hospital, buying drugs and sometimes even offering to help offset my bills. I really appreciate all that he has done for me and I told him so but do I now have to marry him cos of all these?

Come Saturday, K came over to my house in the morning. He wanted us to spend the day together. He asked me to just mention anywhere I wanted and he would take me there but I wasn’t interested, I had a date with O and nothing was going to come between me and that date so I politely told him I was going to the market to do some shopping. I couldn’t tell him I had another date with someone else…that would just kill him! He then asked that I returned early form the market so we could at least spend the rest of the day together and I accepted. I just didn’t want to prolong issues, I knew there was no way I was getting home earlier than 8pm that day. O and I had made a lot of plans for the day already.

So I hung out with O. We first went to one of the private beaches. We didn’t want to do the Lekki/Alpha?Kuramo beaches. Those were always very crowded and we wanted a quiet and relaxing environment so we settled for the private beach plan. It was really fun sitting there on the beach with the cool sea breeze fanning our faces. It felt so good, I almost didn’t want it to end. We talked, played, cuddled, kissed, lol! (I’ll spare u guys the details,lol!)

Anyway, after some hours on the beach we decided to catch an evening movie on the island. It was another lovely experience. The movie was really nice but that wasn’t the high point of the experience for me. Just being there in his arms, sneaking kisses every now and then during the movie was wonderful. I ‘m sure the guys seated behind us at the cinema must have been irritated by us. It was just too obvious that we were so much into ourselves

Then there was Sunday. I had to attend a friend’s birthday party and I wanted O to come with me but K wasn’t giving me breathing space. He pleaded that he wanted to spend the day with me since he didn’t get to do so the previous day.
I finally agreed to let him take me to the party also seeing as the celebrant was also a mutual friend. The party was nice, lots to eat and drink and I had fun that is if you don’t include the part where K would tell anyone(as soon as he found they were my friend) how much in love he was with me and how I didn’t want to reciprocate his love. The guy almost began to annoy me; I couldn’t understand why he found joy in broadcasting his feelings to anyone who cared to listen at the party.

Monday I had a date with Big Guy.
I haven’t mentioned Big Guy before now.
You see, Big Guy or B.G for short is kinda like my boyfriend that is until I met O.
Now don’t get all confused. Let me explain.
I am not dating K, he is more like a family friend.
I had a boyfriend but we broke up last year due to irreconcilable differences.
B.G was my friend but he had never hidden his interest to take our friendship further so when I broke up with Ex, we decided to try a shot at something more intimate but I realized soon after we started dating that I wasn’t ‘in love’ with him and most likely will never be. I think he knew how I felt. I never hid the fact that I wasn’t feeling that excitement with him but he felt that it would grow with time. However, I realized that one day I may discover I had stronger feelings for someone else(like I do with O now) and the relationship with B.G would have to end but i prayed that my feelings for B.G would grow deeper and I wouldn’t have to break his heart. He is a good guy and really cared about me and I would hate to hurt him.

Now with O on the scene, my fears are coming to pass. I haven’t been calling B.G as I used to(I used to call him during happy hours before), For the past one month we hadn’t seen each other and I haven’t even being bothered about it. He had noticed that my interest in the relationship was on the decline and was really worried about it.

I think I had been avoiding him cos I felt guilty for feeling the way I do about O.

Anyway, I agreed to the Easter Monday date, I was tired of running and I felt it was high time we talked and put our feelings in perspective,

Need I tell you how it went?
Not too good at all.
Will hit you up with the gist later. For now, I have to attend to some more pressing issues.
Take care peeps.

UPDATE ON O

2008-03-17T06:39:00.000-07:00

I am happy.
Yes, it’s because of O!
I think he really cares for me.

Okay let me start from where I stopped the last time.
That night I planned to call him by midnight(during happy hours) but slept off and didn’t wake until about 3am.
Then I decided to call but his phone kept ringing and he wasn’t picking it. After 4 tries, I gave up and went back to sleep. When I got up to prepare for work in the morning I had a text message on my phone. It was from him. He was sorry he had missed my calls and blab la bla.

I didn’t reply the text. I just went ahead to prepare and leave for the office. Unfortunately for me I forgot my phone at home. I only discovered after I had gotten to work and there was no way I was going back because of the phone. I simply resigned myself to being phoneless for the day.

On getting home later that evening, I had like twenty three missed calls on the phone. O’s was like 5 out of them. He had also sent me a text message that read:
“Too busy to take my calls? Even during the day?
Okay if you don’t wanna talk to me, at least send me a text. Am concerned
about you ”

When I read the text my heart melted and I replied, telling him I forgot my phone at home. A few minutes later he called and we talked for a while. He was so sorry he hadn’t called me for a while and he explained that he had been having some issues in the office and he was even angry at me that if he didn’t call, I wouldn’t.
We finally apologized to each other and I promised to call him at midnight so we could talk more.

Later, in the middle of the night , we talked a whole lot more. 1am till 4am(three whole hours!) and it was only when I insisted that we had to sleep cos both of us had jobs to go to in the morning that we finally ended the call. It’s always so good to talk to him cos he really makes me happy and he says it’s the same for him too.

He also came to pay me a visit at the office later in the day. I was so delighted when he called me to say he was in front of my office. I was impressed. He spent about 45mins with me in my office before he left.

On another note.

I think I might have a problem in my hands soon if this thing with O keeps getting deeper. You see I am an Ibo babe and my folks are VERY tribalistic…you know insisting I marry from my own tribe and all that. Thing is up till now, I never had issues with that because I had never met a non-ibo guy I really liked well enough to get serious with until I met O that is.
With O, things are different. I really like this dude and there are indicators that he feels the same way but I forsee a bleak future(if any) for us because of my folks. It would really be a WAR getting them to accept O as a son-in-law. There is something though. O is partly Ibo. His dad is Edo while his mum is Ibo. He’s got an Ibo name and he speaks a little funny ibo too,lol! Anyway, I don’t know if that is gonna give him an advantage with my parents.

Another thing is this, we are Catholics and my parents would love so much for me to get hooked to a catholic man too. Parents whose children don’t marry from the church lose certain priviledges like they can’t join the knighthood or for the mother, she loses the chance to ever receive the prestigious “Ezinne”(Good mother) award. Only mothers whose daughters do not get pregnant out of wedlock or marry outside the catholic church are eligible for the award.

Yesterday evening I was chatting with my mum and somehow our conversation drifted to INTER-RACIAL/DENOMINATIONAL MARRIAGES. The daughter of a family friend(they are Ibo) recently gotten married to a Yoruba guy from Osun state and a cousin of mine(they are Catholics) had just come to inform my folks that she was getting married to a guy who is Anglican.

Mum: You know her mum said they had to consent to the marriage when they
realized she was already in the family way. (She was talking about my cousin).

Me: I suspected! The last time she was here, she looked pregnant.

Mum: Yes. Initially her dad insisted he wasn’t going to be a party to the wedding but
her mum finally convinced him to. For her, its better that her daughter got married to an Anglican than for the story to be that she got pregnant in her father’s house.

Me: I guess so. It’s a better deal for all of them.

Mum: Ehen…you know Mr. Obi(pauses as I nod in affirmation). His daughter just
got married to a guy from Osun state! (She said it like that was a abomination,lol!)

Me: Really!! Osun state??(I was genuinely surprised. This is a very rare occurrence where I come from. I thought about the battle the girl must have fought with her parents before they gave in and silently gave the girl kudos in my mind)

Mum: Yes o! I hear he was her childhood friend in Benin where they grew up.

(Slight pause in our discussion as I was still deep in thought. I looked up at my mum, she was engrossed in the programme showing on TV )

Me: Mum…??

Mum: Yes…??(She turned to look at me with raised eyebrows)

Me: Which would you prefer? For me to marry a non-catholic or a non-Ibo guy??

She looked at me intently, probably searching for clues to know if I was dating any of the above. After a while, she looked away and seemed to ponder about my question

Mum: Hmmm…that’s a hard one o! Non- catholic I don’t like…and Non- Ibo…that
one too is out of it.

Me: But mum…I can’t keep limiting myself like that! If the Ibo guys are not coming, will I kill myself or wait forever??

She didn't say a word, she just kept mum.

I knew it was time to stop before she began interrogating me to find out which of the forbidden two I was dating. The Non-ibo or the Non-catholic,lol! I already had the answer I sought. She obviously didn’t like any of the two options.

Pity O is both of them. Non-ibo and Non-catholic. This thing go hard o!
Anyway make we dey look, its not as if O has proposed or anything of that sort yet but is it better not to start what looks like I wont be able to finish or should I just keep going with my heart and pray we’ll cross the bridge successfully when we get to that river?

I have talked to him about this and he says he doesn’t want to lose me because of the fact that we don’t come from the same tribe or we don’t attend the same church. He feels we should not let them(my folks) come between us. We have agreed to just take it slowly and see where it all leads.
Hopefully someplace good. *Fingers crossed*

Opinions peeps??

Cheapskate or not??

2008-03-12T03:23:00.000-07:00

It’s been 2 days now since I last spoke to O and two really hard days they have been for me. I miss the way he makes me laugh with all his clowning.

Yesterday night I deleted his number and text messages from my phone because the temptation to call him was beginning to overwhelm me. It was like a drug I desperately needed a fix of. I tried to sleep but couldn’t. My mind kept going back to him even when I tried to dwell on other stuffs.

Finally, I decided to call Efe. Efe is another guy who has been on my case for a while now. Always going on about how in love he was with me and why I should give him a chance. I had told him that he was Urhobo and my parents would never allow me marry an Urhobo man which is actually just a lame excuse. The truth is that I don’t love him afterall O is from Edo state yet here I am tripping for the guy.

So back to yester night, I called Efe and he was ecstatic to put it mildly. Dude was surprised I called him. He had been calling me repeatedly these past few days and I hadn’t been picking his calls and he wondered what could have made me call him at so late an hour. I felt bad cos I knew in my heart that I was just using him to escape the loneliness I was feeling because of O but the fact that I had also made him(Efe) happy made it seem a bit fair to both of us.

So we chatted. I wasn’t really feeling the chat cos really the voice I wanted to hear then was O’s and not Efe’s. I spent some time with Efe on the phone, he also sang one of his songs for me(he is a budding musician). At a point I grew bored and wanted to end the call but I didn’t know how to without hurting him so I stylishly ended the call and quickly diverted all calls on my phone to voice mail. He had served his purpose and I needed to sleep. I later cancelled the call divert before I drifted off to sleep when I remembered that O may still try to reach me during the night.

The first thing I did when I awoke this morning was to check my phone but there was no messages/missed calls from O. Miserably I dragged myself from the bed to get ready for work.

All through the day, I kept hoping he would call or text me but he didn’t. Scrolling through my phone I saw some messages I had sent to him a while back. I had forgotten to delete them yesterday. I quickly retrieved his number and started dialing. Fortunately for me, I stopped myself just in time. “Aphrodite, you need to take it easy” I said to myself.

Finally I gave in when I got back from work in the evening and still he hadn’t called. I sent him a text message. It was a forwarded message I got from a friend. Nice and funny and no mention of how I was feeling bad cos I hadn’t heard from him.
He replied with a text asking how I was and telling me how he tried my number the previous night and it didn’t go through.

I didn’t know what to feel. Anger or sadness?? Like so he couldn’t call me during the day or something? Why does it have to be during free calls period that we can only talk?? If he couldn’t spend his credit on calling me during the day, wasn’t he a cheapskate afterall?? These were the thoughts that went through my head. Don’t misunderstand me guys, he has called me during the day in the past but I think we speak more during the happy hours(free call period). Does that say something?

Anyway, I think I’ll call him tonight and see what he has to say for himself. But now, when I think of it again, I really do not have any right over him after all he hasn’t even asked me formally to be his girlfriend. Hell…I don’t even know what it is we are right now and I am not going to ask before he begins to feel I am too forward.

Peeps what’s ur take?

Complicated

2008-03-11T08:54:00.000-07:00

I just deleted O’s number from my phone!
I deleted his text messages too.

Maybe it’s stupid or crazy but I just felt it’s the right thing to do.
I think I am getting too attached to this guy.
He didn’t call me all day and I have been feeling miserable.
I don’t even feel like myself again…I am so out of control with this guy!

I am also mightily pissed off at him like why didn’t he call me all day?! I really longed to hear his voice all day but he didn’t call me. Not even to ask how my day went. God! I sound really pathetic!

Don’t ask me why I didn’t call guys. I don’t want him to begin to feel like am becoming too needy. You know how guys begin to take one for granted when they find out you are into them and am not even sure what I feel for him now.
Maybe I’m just trying to prove to myself that I can do without him.

It’s 12.30am (free calls time) now and usually, I would call him about now but tonight I aint calling him. Lets see if he calls and if he doesn’t I don’t care(lol! Who am I kidding??)

Even if I wanted to call, I can’t be tempted to anymore.
I already deleted his number.

This love business seems complicated sha….I don’t want a heart break o!

Crush or Love??

2008-03-08T08:48:00.000-08:00

Story story….story!
I met this dude like two weeks back and it seems like it’s going to happen(falling in love) with this one. Let’s call him O.

I met O at the bank where I had gone to transact some business. He actually works there. We made small talk and he asked for my number with I gladly gave.
Since then, we have talked constantly on the phone especially during the happy hours(Midnight 12-30 to 4.30) when calls are free,lol! We are not cheapskates o just taking advantage of the free call period to get to know ourselves more.

I seem to be getting a soft spot for him which is very unusual. I haven’t felt like this with anyone in a long time.

Some nights we talk for more almost four hours at a stretch. It’s crazy! Like once we start we can’t stop. He is quite interesting and makes me laugh a lot. I like that. It’s rare to find a guy that can keep me on the phone for hours and still I don’t get bored.

O is 6 2” tall, intelligent and loves my kind of music…so many pluses!

I don’t know where this is all leading to but let’s just wait and see.

Maybe the end of the search is in sight. Maybe not…

Time will tell!

Talking about K

2008-03-05T08:25:00.000-08:00

Like I said in my first post, I intend this blog to be like a chronicle of my experiences with men in my search for love.
Okay today, I am going to talk about K.
K is one of the guys currently begging me to accept his marriage proposal.
K is a young man in his early 30s. He is financially comfortable. He is not bad looking physically. Very generous, like seriously he could sell his pant to give me anything I desire. He is also very caring, practically fusses over me so much it gets irritating at times.

Unfortunately despite his good credentials, I do not love K. My Mum likes him and so do my siblings cos he is very giving... always buying them gifts and all that. Me thinks he is trying to buy my love or influence them to convince me he is the best man for me and that kinda puts me off am really he is wasting his time cos no man can buy my love. It is going to be given freely to that person when I find him so K is obviously wasting his time of he thinks he’ll be able to buy me over. I think he is beginning to realize this cos lately he hasn’t been flaunting the gifts and money like before. I think he has wisened up.

K is a business man who hasn’t done badly for himself at all. With the houses and flashy cars he owns, he would be any girl’s dream catch right? For me, he isn’t. He didn’t get a university education and is not very fluent with spoken English and this scores him low points in my rate card.

I have told K that I do not love him but he insists that the love will grow with time after I am married to him. I do not agree with him, for me it should be Love first before marriage not the other way round.

What is your opinion peeps?

INTRO

2008-03-01T07:14:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone,
I finally do this! I mean start a blog. For the past one year I have been an invincible member of this very interesting world called blogville. By invincible I mean like I am an ardent reader of naija bloggers but havnt been able to summon the courage to start mine up till now.
Blogging is great really but I see that drama that builds up at times and I wonder if I am ready to be a part of it. If I have the courage to put up with haters(who I know will definitely be there). Nonetheless, I have began this blog and I sure hope I don’t attract too much drama with it. I am not blogging to make friends or to become popular or anything of that sort. This blog for me is to help me put down some of my experiences as a young lady in search of love. I thought that I needed to do this so that when eventually I find that which I seek(LOVE), I should be able to appreciate it berter. By ‘LOVE’, I hope you all understand that I mean the kind of love that exists between a man and a woman, you know the ‘EROS’ kind, right? Yea!

Before I go on, let me do a brief intro about myself. I am a beautiful(if I say so myself), young lady in my late twenties. The first daughter in a family of six. I work in a Public Relations firm in Nigeria. I am a very independent and amiable soul. What else? I guess this would do for now.

Why am I searching for love? Because I have been in love before and I know what a great feeling it is when two people are in love. I want to feel that way again in my life especially with someone who truly feels the same way as I do. I have been in love before like I said but always with the wrong people. Now I want to fall in love again but with the right person. A person who I will spend the rest of my life with.

I have never been short of male admires/toasters. In fact I believe I have more than is healthy for a normal girl. Like I said earlier too, I am very beautiful and I have got a body to die for too(which is really what most men want, isn’t it?). I hope I don’t sound vain cos really that is not the point. Its just that very few men can pass me without taking a second look or wanting to be friends and I find that most times I can’t really tell who wants to be with me because of LOVE or LUST!

Right now in my life. There are quite a number of guys begging me to let them into my life. Some claim that they would die if I don’t marry them but I find that I don’t really feel anything deep for anyone of them. I mean, they could like vanish from the earth’s surface and I wouldn’t care a hoot so obviously I am not in love with any of them. I am at a point where I am beginning to feel the pressure from family and friends to settle down with a man and start a family but I don’t think I should just marry any guy because he is there or because he is professing mad love for me. I believe that before I say the words “ I do”, it has to be for one reason-BECAUSE I LOVE AND I WANT TO SPEND MY LIFE WITH THE MAN INVOLVED!
So I search on….